by T. L. Tate
I was too stunned by her story and admission to do anything. She slid down my face until her face was pressed against my chest.
“I wanted you for so long that I became addicted the moment I first touched you. She thinks that I forgot those feelings, but I never have. I just bury them when she’s around. I wish I could cut them out of me but I can’t. It’s been 18 years since that day in high school and I haven’t been able to forget you even once. I love you, Lance. I really truly do and it’s killing me.”
I couldn’t breathe. I was okay when she was maniacal. I could even deal with the random bouts of altruism she displayed. But to learn that she was actually in love with me…that was a pill that I was unprepared to swallow.
But what did it matter? I was married and in love with her sister. Regardless of her feelings, they just aren’t something that I was prepared to return. “J-Jessa I…”
She placed her finger on my lips. Shaking her head, she leaned back. “No. Don’t. Right now we’re just roleplaying remember? Stay in character.”
I was blown away. “Is that all this is? Just an elaborate story for your roleplaying fantasy?”
She nodded and smiled fiercely. “Yes. That’s all this is. Now come on. I’m close. I’m so close. Make me cum, daddy. Cum with me.”
She moved faster and faster until we were both on edge and then, as she predicted and requested, we both came at the same time. She fell on top of me, shaking the whole time.
But this time I was spent, both physically and psychologically. She claimed that it was all a part of her role but I didn’t really believe that. The story about the bullies was true so then what else was true?
She climbed off of me just in time to pick up her phone when it started ringing.
“Oh! Hey sis!” She looked at me as I continued laying on her bed, my wet soft cock sticking to my hip. “Lance? Yeah, he just finished installing the car seats. He’s coming in right now. Hang on.” She pulled the phone from her face and pretended to call out to me. “Lance! Jen’s on the phone.”
She tossed the phone to me and I caught it in fumbling hands. “H-hey, babe.”
Her voice was sweet but tired. She yawned loudly. “Hey babe. I tried your cell but you didn’t answer. Is everything okay?”
“Umm…yeah. Yeah, everything’s fine.”
“Good. What’s taking so long?”
“Well, we had to go to a few different stores in order to find the right seats.”
She laughed, “A few, huh?”
Just then, Jessa came over and climbed on the bed. She put her finger over her lips to indicate that I should be quiet. Then she slid down my body and started licking and sucking on my cock. I looked at her like she was crazy and all she did was smile innocently before going back to sucking me off.
I cursed her silently and went back to the phone call. “Y-yeah, just a few.”
“Well, with you a few could mean 10. I knew I should’ve gone instead. You’re psycho when it comes to car seat safety.”
Jessa had moved from my cock to my sac and was burying her face in my balls. It felt incredible and she knew it. “Y-yeah, sorry.”
I could feel her voice filled with a love that I knew I didn’t deserve. “Don’t be sorry. I just wanted to let you know that the kids are asleep and I’m exhausted. I’m going to bed too. Since I’ll probably be asleep by the time you get back, I wanted to say goodnight and that I love you.”
My despicable and traitorous heart shattered. “I-I love you, too. Goodnight.”
By the time I hanged up the phone, Jessa had me clean and had my cock wanting more. But after everything that happened tonight, my heart wasn’t in it.
After setting the phone down, Jessa stood up and offered me a hand. “Come on. Lets go get cleaned up.”
I followed her into the shower. Other than asking me to help wash her back, we didn’t speak. I was torn and confused by her story. I didn’t know how much of it was true and how much wasn’t. I resolved to find a way to ask Jen. Perhaps she would be willing to shed some light on Jessa’s claims. I just had to find a way to ask her without revealing all that I had done.
Once I was clean and dry, I slipped on my clothes and headed for the door. It was late but Jessa’s condo was only a few blocks away from my home. I decided to walk. I needed the fresh air and a little time to myself to get my thoughts in order. By the time I made it back home, all of the lights were off. I walked up the stairs and checked on the twins. They were sleeping soundly in their beds. In my bedroom, I found Jen lying on her side. I removed all of my clothes and threw them in the hamper and then climbed in bed next to her. She shifted a little when I climbed in bed but she didn’t wake. I spent the next hour staring at the ceiling and trying to come to grips with too many mixed emotions. There was my obvious attraction to Jessa. There was my newfound willingness to engage in the affair. There was my love for Jen. There was the suspicion that Jessa’s words were all true and not just spun as a part of her roleplaying game. There was the fact that Jen may have hid it from me all of these years. There was a lot to think about. As my eyelids grew heavy I knew that I wouldn’t get any answers tonight. I closed my eyes and prayed that in the morning things would go back to how they were and I would be a devoted husband and father. Jen would be my loving, honest and faithful wife. Jessa would be a loving sister and great aunt. I prayed that our lives would magically fit within all of these boundaries. Of course, things never really work out the way that you want them to. In the weeks to come, I found this to be true.
Part III
Jessa held my hand as Jen stared daggers into us. She looked like she wanted to kill and sure enough, moments later she screamed, “Go get the fucking nurse!”
Jen was in labor and we were in the room waiting for the anesthesiologist to come and give her the epidural. I was watching her go through intense pain and all I wanted to do was make the pain go away. I hated seeing her like that.
Soon the pain passed and she fell back against the pillows. She smiled, embarrassed. “Sorry about that. I thought this little beast was going to rip me apart for a second.”
Jessa rushed forward and held a cold towel to Jen’s forehead. “It’s okay. We get it.”
Just then the nurse, anesthesiologist and OB/GYN, came in the room.
Jessa moved back to stand beside me as they prepped Jen for the epidural. Once again, Jessa grabbed my hand and held it. I could feel her shaking as she watched them work on Jen. I squeezed her hand to let her know that I was there for her.
~~~~~~
It had been a few weeks since the incident in her home. The next morning, at breakfast, Jen and I had a chance to talk.
“So last night, when I was with Jessa, I realized something.”
She was picking at her eggs but not eating them. “Oh yeah? What’s that?”
“I remember a lot of people from high school. I remember you and all of your friends. But I don’t remember ever seeing her. Did she go to a different private school than we did?”
She hesitated for only a moment. Before, I wouldn’t have noticed but after what Jessa said, I made sure to pay extra-special attention. “Yeah. We went to the same school. She was a couple of years ahead of us because she’s older.”
“I see. I never saw you with her.”
She laughed. “What? Are you my stalker now?”
I smiled. I loved it when was playful but I suspected that she was also being evasive. “Yeah. I want to know everything about you from the moment you were born until this very second.”
She threw a piece of toast at me. “Eww. Stranger danger!”
“Yeah, you know me. I’m all about the danger.”
When her mirth died down she spoke more solemnly. “To be honest, I’ve never really talked about it because I was a bit embarrassed by how I handled things.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean with Jessa. She was kind and sweet to me and I just kind of abandoned her.”
“How did
you abandon her?”
“Well, when I left, I stopped contacting my family. Not just my parents, but Jessa as well.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. I guess I just wanted to get away and have my own life. She was always protecting me. I wanted to be able to fend for myself.”
“You wanted your own life. That’s nothing to be ashamed about.”
“Yeah…well…I guess there’s more to it.”
“Want to talk about it?”
She shrugged, “Yeah, I guess it doesn’t matter anymore.”
“What’s that?”
“Back when we were still in high school…Jessa had a little crush on you.”
I didn’t have to pretend to be surprised. I was. I was mostly surprised that what Jessa had said was true. “On me? Really?”
Jen nodded. “Yeah. To be honest, I think she was rather infatuated with you.”
“That had to be a kick in the teeth when she found out we were together.”
“Yeah. Well, no. Maybe not. I mean it was a long time after and she was already married. I don’t think she had those feelings anymore. When she saw us at the rehearsal dinner, I asked her about it and she said that it was all good.” She looked up at me and smiled brightly, “We actually joke about it when you’re not around. I can tell that she gets uncomfortable. She thinks that I’m worried that she’s holding a grudge but I told her that I don’t think that. She’s gotten over you a long time ago.”
“Wow. That’s a lot to take in.”
She reached for me. “Please promise me that you won’t say anything. If she knows that I talked to you about it then she’ll get worried all over again. I don’t want her to be concerned.”
I patted her hand. “Okay honey. Don’t worry about it. I won’t say a word.”
And I didn’t. In the weeks that passed, the number of doctor’s appointments for Jen and the baby increased. I was putting in more time at work so that I could put things in order before the baby came and I could take the necessary time off. Jessa went to all of the appointments with Jen in the last leg. So this morning, when they were at my house and Jen started complaining about contractions, Jessa took her to the hospital. She called me at work and met them here after arranging for my parents to pick up Aesop and Avi from school.
~~~~~~
The anesthesiologist and company left after injecting Jen. Thanks to the numbing agents, her pain was drastically reduced. Jessa and I stood to either side of Jen and she looked at us both and smiled.
She slurred, “Man, I really love you guys.”
Jessa laughed. “Yeah. We love you too.”
It was 2 hours later when, exhausted and sweaty, Jen gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. 21.4 inches and 9lbs 4ounces. She was perfect.
Jessa, who had never been in the room during a delivery, looked just as worn out as Jen. But when the nurses handed our little baby to Jen, Jessa and her were rejuvenated.
“Hi little one. I’m your mommy. This is your daddy. And this is your aunt.”
Our little girl was snuggled tightly in a blanket. She barely even opened her eyes when Jen pressed her lips to her breast. After a little bit of trying, our daughter, Alexia Piper Lancaster, latched on for the first time.
Jessa rubbed her head, “Aww! Alexia! That is such a perfect name for you isn’t it?” Jessa kissed Alexia’s head and then kissed Jen’s cheek. I could tell that Aesop and Avi now had competition for Jessa’s attention.
After Alexia was finished, I held her and sang to her. I rocked her to sleep and then Jessa had her turn. After a while I was considering taking a crowbar to Jessa’s arms so that she would finally release my daughter but Jen stopped me. She just watched the two of them and she couldn’t seem happier.
She reached for me and I held onto her. “I love her so much. I love her so much, Lance.”
“Yeah, me too honey. Me too.”
Alexia and Jen came home the very next day. Aesop and Avi got to meet their little sister in the hospital but when she came home they were just as excited then. Jessa and my parents prepared the nursery while Jen and I were gone so when we came home, and after everyone had their chance to hold Alexia, she went into her nursery where Jen and her camped out for a time.
It was wonderful and peaceful but that peace didn’t last.
A few weeks later, I walked in the door and I heard Jen sobbing. I rushed into the kitchen after checking the bassinet and saw Alexia sleeping soundly. In the kitchen, Jen and Jessa were embracing. Jen was sobbing but Jessa looked like she had just been ran over by a semi.
“Hey. What’s going on?”
When they heard me, they separated and Jessa turned her back to me, wiping her eyes.
Jen’s face was covered in tears and snot as she reached for a tissue. “N-nothing.”
I stepped closer. “It sure doesn’t look like nothing.”
Jessa cleared her throat, “Ahem. I-I’m going to go sit with Alexia.” She marched away at a smart clip. I could tell in just one glance that the effort had cost her.
I asked Jen again, “What was that about?”
Shaking her head, she wiped her nose again. “I’m sorry but I can’t say.”
I looked in the direction where Jessa ran off. “Is everything okay with Jessa?”
“No. No it isn’t. But you’ll have to ask her. I really can’t tell you.”
I didn’t know what it was. I assumed it might have had something to do with Richard. But from what I could tell, he signed the divorce papers without an argument and their divorce lawyers were working on the amicable split. Jessa had full access to her trust fund so she had more than enough money. That along with what she would be getting in the divorce meant that she wouldn’t need to work a day in her life. No, this wasn’t about money. There was something else going on.
Jen and I followed Jessa into the living room. She was standing with Alexia in her arms. When we came in the room she looked absolutely heartbroken. “How can something be so little and so big all at the same time?” She wasn’t looking at us. She may not have been talking to us. Nevertheless, I answered.
“Jessa? What’s wrong? Why are you so upset?”
She didn’t answer right away. Instead, she rocked Alexia back and forth and hummed. After a while she looked at me and smiled. That smile would continue to haunt me in the coming days. She looked more broken than I thought a person should. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t moved by that look. “You know, I think you and Jen are very lucky. You love each other so much and you have beautiful kids and a wonderful life. I can’t say that I ever loved Richard. But I can say that we don’t have kids and our life together was awful. When I look at the love you both have and the fact that you get to have each other and your kids until you die…I feel a little jealous.”
Jen reached out and just as quickly pulled her hand back into her chest as she started to sob once more. “Oh Jessa.”
I didn’t get what was going on between the two of them. I only understood that it wasn’t good. “What’s going on, Jessa?”
“I went to see a doctor today. I found out that I can’t have children.”
I felt my heart deflate and my stomach drop. So this was the reason for her intense melancholy. “J-Jessa. I’m sorry. Are they sure?”
She shook her head and kissed Alexia. “As sure as anyone can be. They don’t know the cause of my infertility but said that there’s a 80% chance that I’ll never have a child.”
“I didn’t know that you really wanted a kid.” When she first coerced me into having sex with her, she had made mention that she wanted me to get her pregnant. I figured that it was because she knew that Jen and I were trying for another child and that she couldn’t help but taunt me. Looking back now, maybe those were her honest feelings.
She placed Alexia back in the bassinet and moved to the chair. “Honestly, I would love to have kids but I’m happy that I didn’t have them with Richard. You guys saw us together. That was not a healthy marriage. It wa
s like my parents 2.0.”
Jen went over and picked up Alexia and began nursing her. “So 80%? What are your options?”
“I don’t know. I could do IVF or IUI cycles but I don’t want to just use some random guy’s sperm you know?”
“What about that guy you’re seeing?”
Jessa’s eyes bulged. “Wait? Huh? W-what guy?” She looked between Jen and I.
Jen laughed. “Oh no you don’t. I remember you telling me that you would introduce him if things got serious. I know that you wanted to keep things close to the chest but you seemed, I don’t know, like he is someone important.”
“Why do you think that?”
“I don’t know. You just seem happier. It’s like all the pieces of you are aligned and things just flow. So am I right?”
She hesitated. “Yeah. I guess you’re right.”
“So is it serious enough to consider him for a donor?”
Jessa shook her head. “No. Maybe at one point I did. But I’m not seeing him anymore.” While Jen shifted Alexia to her other breast, Jessa hazarded a glance in my direction and just as quickly looked elsewhere.
“Not seeing him? Why not?”