"You can grab his mane for extra support, but I think it's time to quit the fences until after you have the baby. No sense in being reckless."
Jesus! It's almost like we read each other's minds.
"I was just thinking the same thing,” she said. “I can still ride, though. Both Injun and I need to keep fit, but I'll take it easy for the next three months."
He fetched a step to help her dismount, supporting her at the elbow as she came down. Craig took the reins. As they sauntered back toward the stables, Ashley absorbed the moment… the smells of freshly raked earth, hay, and even the manure. The sun, a huge orange ball, was sneaking below a white, cottony fabric of scattered cumulus clouds, spilled just above the distant red and orange leafed tree line.
He draped an arm casually around her waist, triggering a ridge of goose bumps scurrying down her spine. A fleeting picture of a cool, shaded meadow and lush grass tripped across her mind. Shivering slightly, she disengaged his hand, giving a gentle squeeze to his arm as she stepped away.
Why, suddenly, that passionate fantasy? They were just friends. Very good friends, but that’s it. They were both married, so there could never be anything more. Still, busy bird wings were fluttering in her breast. Glancing at him from the corners of her eyes, she saw his eyebrows raised and his lips tensed, before turning away, giving a small head shake.
"I think you’re smart to start winding down,” he said, after a moment. “You've had a great season.”
“Going Champion in all four shows is good, huh?” She grinned, punching him lightly on the arm. He smiled, gently patting her back. She relaxed, gazing covertly at his chiseled profile. She breathed a nearly imperceptibly sigh.
Amazing! We’ve known each other less than seven months, but we’re as close as if we’ve been friends for life. Almost daily contact and he’s never made an improper gesture… not even a little one. What just happened was just camaraderie. We’re buddies, sharing a love of horses and jumping.
If it were any another couple, she’d be certain romance was involved. She pursed her lips, shrugging, somehow embarrassed by the disappointment of that truth. A momentary picture of that resurgent forested fantasy tickled her thoughts.
Friends. Just friends! Why did she need to constantly reassure herself of that?
“I guess you'll be busy for a while with the infant,” Craig continued. “God knows how well you'll do, once you get back in the saddle.”
"I've breast fed all my babies, and this little girl won't be any different.” She took his hands, turning him toward her.
“But I'll want to get back as quickly as I can. I was thinking about some Grand Prix events next season. What do you think?"
Her gray eyes studied him for a reaction. His weathered, slightly craggy face was more honest… more appealing… than Phil’s classic handsomeness. Her heart was skipping rope as she awaited his reply. Craig would never lie to her. He was someone she could trust with her life.
"It'll take some serious work, but you've got all the tools. He's a great horse, and you’re so instinctive… really aggressive… when you're jumping show fences, which isn’t like you.”
“You think so?” They continued their stroll, her fingers lightly brushing his.
“Yeah. You normally kind of quiet and reserved, usually even during practice sessions like today’s. But you seem to blossom in the ring, sorta morphing into a wild daredevil. You’re a totally different person when you’re competing. It’s pretty exciting.”
“Yeah, and kinda spooky.” He should only know! “How d’ya think I’d do on a fox hunt?" She grinned, elbowing him lightly in the ribs.
"Sorry, ma'am, but they can get pretty hairy, and even a good horse can go down. No place for a very pregnant lady. They'll still be there next season."
"I know. But I like to needle you. They do sound like fun, though."
"They are, and we get a pretty good crowd. Jumping natural obstacles in fields and woods is really quite different than this."
Not to me. I've seen a lot of them these last few months. Wonder who’s on the horse that always seems right behind me? Weird!
Ashley blinked as they entered the dimly lit stables. She tasted the strange combination of sweet and acrid odors, shivering imperceptibly at the kaleidoscopic sensations these sent roiling through her. Her past came rushing back at her at times like this… her callow and uncomplicated youth with never a dream of an unhappy marriage.
She shook her head briskly. She was here now, with two wonderful children and a third on the way, in the company of a really good friend who shared more of her life and interests than her husband ever had.
Though it was strictly friendship… totally platonic, she reassured herself again… she couldn’t help but think how much better a husband and father he would be than Keith.
Stop! This’ll take me nowhere.
Even if there were something there, Craig’s interest was strictly as a friend. A groom came to take Injun back to his stall. She would check later to see he had been properly cooled and fed.
They sauntered back into the failing late fall sunlight. The leaves, glistening reds, yellows and oranges, had begun their swirling descent, skimming in mindless patterns, like her troubled thoughts, across the dry, trampled ground. Long fingered shadows from the near-gaunt trees stitched the land in crazy-quilt patterns.
They settled at a little weathered knotty pine picnic table under a huge elm, in no hurry to end the day. Being with him calmed her soul.
He reached over, massaging her neck and shoulders, his strong thumbs expertly working down her upper spine. It was therapeutic, totally devoid of sensuality.
“Oh, that feels so good! This kid is murder on my back.”
“I bet. You got a name for her yet?”
“Janine. Janine Elizabeth Bradford Easton. Some mouthful, huh?”
“Sounds good to me,” he said. “And after you’ve had her, you’ve got a new goal: Grand Prix events. It gives me something to think about, too, and I need that right now.” She sensed his mood change, seeing the sadness in his eyes.
Ashley recognized the signs. Craig’s wife, Toni, was an upper upper class society gal, and a heavy drinker. He never put a label on it, but Ashley guessed she was a full-fledged alcoholic. They had no children, a great disappointment to him.
“More trouble at home?” she asked.
“The usual. She parties with her friends until Four A.M. Gets home just in time to puke all over the foyer floor. She keeps promising to get help, but never goes. It’s pretty depressing.”
“I can imagine. If you need to talk, you know where I am. Any time, Craig. I mean it.”
“I know, and I appreciate that. But, enough! We’re so into your jumping, we hardly get to just sit and chat. How’s it going with you?”
She sighed. “I don’t know. Keith works late several nights a week. He’s so preoccupied with problems at work that I don’t see him much.”
“That’s rotten. Gotta be lousy for your kids, especially Ricky. Boys need a dad.”
“Yeah. Well, we’ve drifted so far apart, it doesn’t even seem to matter anymore. They barely know they have a father.”
“That’s too bad… for all of you. You need a relationship with a husband, especially now with the baby coming and, while I know you’re a great mom, your other kids need some male influence. Why don’t you bring ‘em around to the horse? We can teach ‘em to ride, and go on picnics. Oughta be fun.”
“No picnics,” she blurted. Strange that so many years later, the memory of that scary afternoon with Allen Clarke still haunted her.
“But I think I will bring them, even before I have Janine. It’s time to get them started riding, especially if I’m not jumping for a while.”
“Good idea.” He pulled her to her feet. “Well, m’lady, ‘tis time we sally forth. ‘Tis a cold wind, venturing out of the North, and darkness is upon us.” He chuckled, bowing grandly before her.
Her spine trembled to
a ghostly chill, unrelated to the cooling evening air. His play-acting sent goose bumps down her arms and neck. She glanced at the lengthening shadows, her tongue darting across her lips, sensing some hidden danger.
“Walk me to my car, will you Craig?”
“With pleasure.” He offered his arm.
She shivered. Something was out there! Something lurking. Something dangerous, waiting for her. Was it related to The Metamorphoses? Whatever, it was there. She felt it!
Mon Dieu. Not again.
Now, where the Hell did that come from?
~~*~~*~~*~~
Craig watched her drive off, an unfamiliar tightening cinching across his chest. She was a friend… probably his best friend… but when he unthinkingly draped an arm around her, his whole world tilted. He was suddenly flushed, his heart thumping, a brief image of a shady meadow flitting across his mind.
Ashley gently rejected his touch, clearly uncomfortable at anything suggesting intimacy, and he understood. They were friends, each married. While those unions were clearly unhappy, and maybe even in jeopardy, that didn’t condone anything else between them.
As he entered his convertible, he wondered what would happen if both their marriages dissolved? He could easily picture a life with her, but would she reciprocate? Spurning his touch created considerable doubt on that front.
That’s it. We’ll just stay buddies, with no complications.
Why did that sadden him?
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
Ashley parked the SUV three spots away from Craig’s Red convertible. The Onwentsia lot was less full than usual for a weekend. Ricky and Beth unbuckled in the rear seats, jumping down and closing the back door.
“Hands,” she said, taking one from each child. Too many crazy drivers, even here, to leave the kids unattended until they were clear of the pavement.
“Is Mr. Thornton here?” Rick asked, pointing to the red Jaguar.
“Looks like he beat us. He’s going to help teach you about riding.”
“He’s a good rider, huh?” Beth said.
“Yes, he is. He’s helped mommy become better, too. He’s… oh, there he is.” Craig materialized, coming around the corner of the office. Ashley’s russet eyebrows arched, and she grinned.
“Well, look at you, all decked out in riding paraphernalia.” He was sporting jodhpurs, a riding shirt and vest, and helmet.
“Yeah. Since I’m the official instructor today, I thought I’d look the part.”
They’d discussing the coming lessons for her two children, and agreed they may better take instruction from someone other than their mother. Children tend to act out less and listen better to a “teacher” than a parent.
“Okay. You rascals ready to learn how to be real equestrians?”
“You bet,” Ricky said, reaching up to deliver a high-five. Beth nodded and giggled. They were comfortable with Craig, as they’d sat with him in the bleachers many times, watching their mom compete. They already had a concept of good riding, as Craig had grasped those opportunities to point out the skills and faults of riders in those competitions.
Craig had often related to Ashley how much he enjoyed his time with her kids. And the side benefits were Keith, realizing he might be supplanted by another man, began throwing a football with Rick and teaching him a few wide-out’s moves. And on the few evenings he was home early enough, he would read to Beth, and work with her on her phonics.
While happy with his effort, Ashley suspected it was more a “competition” by Keith than any real effort to be a father to their children.
“Aww, where’s Injun?” Ricky asked, when a groom led out pony.
“Aren’t we gonna ride your horse, mommy?” Beth asked.
“He’s a little big for you guys,” she said, patting the little girl on her riding helmet.
“Get good at riding on Bobby, here, and you’ll move up to Injun. Besides, I think he’d be so scared of you guys falling off, I probably couldn’t get him to even walk. Bobby’s a good little horse who’s used to children. I guarantee you’re going to have fun with him.”
“I bet he doesn’t jump like Injun,” the boy said, the corners of his mouth drooping.
“No, he certainly doesn’t,” Craig said, winking at Ashley. “Most horses can’t jump like Injun. That’s why mommy and he win all the time. But Bobby does jump little fences we call ‘cavallettes.’ ”
“Yeah,” Ashley said, grinning and shaking her head, “but that’s not going to happen for a very long time. First learn to ride. Then we’ll talk about jumping.”
“Okay,” Craig took the reins from the groom. “Rick, how about ‘ladies first?’ “
“Sure, let Beth go. I’m bettin’ she’s gonna be a better rider than me, anyhow.” He patted his little sister on the back, smiling.
Ashley beamed, pressed her palm against her breast, trying to still her fluttering heart. Somehow, she’d raised two terrific kids… without much help from Keith. It took tons of self-control to stand back while Craig got her daughter’s left foot in the stirrup. With very little help, she stepped up into the saddle. Unable to restrain herself, Ashley helped her best friend adjust the stirrups. They grinned at each other across the neck of the small horse, and Craig winked again.
“Okay, little girl, here’s how to hold the reins,” he said, positioning her fingers, while Ashley held the lead line.
“Good, now push your feet out… oh, you’ve got it already, it seems. Okay, now we’re gonna go for a nice slow walk around the corral, while mommy stands over there and rings her hands.” Ashley chuckled, drying her perspired hands on her jeans, and taking a couple of deep breaths to relax.
Beth was with a man who would take as good and careful care of her as she would. No need for tension, and besides, her daughter already looked like she was born in a saddle. She thought about The Metamorphosis, and her first experiences in learning to ride. Ashley was a “natural” then. Why should she expect Beth to be any different?
Two hours later, the four of them sat at a picnic table in the shade of a giant elm, drinking pink lemonade.
“Have fun, guys?” Ashley asked, ruffling Ricky brick-red hair.
“Yep, it was great,” he said, “but like I thought, little sis is gonna be the pro someday.” He grinned, nudging the little girl softly with an elbow.
“How about it, Beth? You gonna be a rider, like mom?” Craig said.
“Yes. And jump big fences and win contests, too. Will you keep helping me, Mr. Thornton? Like you do with mommy?”
“Sure. Your mom’s not going to do much serious riding for the next few months, at least not until after your baby sister arrives and gets settled in. So, if she keeps bringing you guys out… ”
“… you’re going to get to be real riders,” Ashley finished for him. “As quickly as both of you picked things up today… ”
“ … you’ll probably be putting us to shame in no time,” Craig said. They burst out laughing. Ashley wrapped arms around both her children, drawing them in for a snug hug.
She beamed a brilliant smile at her friend, and mouthed, “Thank you.” He grinned and shrugged, mouthing back, “Anything for you.”
She was awash with contentment, only slightly dampened by the thought, Why couldn’t this be Keith, instead of another man?
CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
Ashley slumped at the kitchen table, nursing a cold cup of strong coffee. What had she done to turn Keith away again?
He’s unhappy about her riding, though she’s no longer jumping, but he’d felt that way for months. Still, they became lovers again for a short time, despite her ungainly shape… and then suddenly… nothing. Is it because the baby was so near… or was there something else?
She was alone in a house full of people. Thank God for Ricky and Beth. Even Craig’s warmth and support could not assuage the trickle of tears, streaking her cheeks each night as she searched vainly for the solace of sleep. She concentrated her thoughts on the baby, soon to arrive, b
ringing some measure of fullness back to her life. The time was near.
Janine had made her entrance right on schedule, like all her kids, but the only ones there during delivery were her in-laws… and Craig.
It was six hours of exhausting, hard work, and no surprise, Keith was away on one of his mysterious business trips when he should have been with her. At the least he could have called, but even that was too much to expect. His limited forays into interacting with their children was waning, too… not that it was ever very committed to start with. His late evenings at work erased any real chances of them spending time together.
But Craig was there, a friend who always seemed available when she needed one. He was a better buddy than Keith ever was. Her in-laws came, too, eager to hold their new grand-daughter. How proud her parents would have been. Maybe they were watching from Heaven.
There was no real reason to be surprised at her husband's lack of interest. Nothing she had tried seemed to bring them any closer together.
It was Craig and her in-laws who watched over her during and after the delivery. Janine’s grandma’s stayed with her until she got back on her feet.
Keith’s trip was something about the new factory he wanted to build. It surely could have been scheduled for another time, knowing she was about to deliver, but it would have made little difference. When he finally returned home, he was out late again, nearly every night. She was either asleep, or faking it, by the time he showed up.
Can’t burden myself with self-doubt. Just keep moving forward.
She immersed herself in her new infant and the love of her other children. They’d made several repeat trips to the stables, with the baby in a carry trundle, and Beth and Ricky taking riding lessons from Craig. She watched, sitting restlessly in the bleachers. Beth really took to the horse, while Rick seemed along mostly to be with the family. Whatever, it was good bonding for all of them, including… magically… Craig.
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