Caleb bristled.
“She said she didn’t want to move out, and I told her she had to. I couldn’t handle it. I couldn’t.” Arianna shook her head. “I told all of you, and she was the only one who listened. You never listened. But she did. And she went to that chair and died.” She clamped a hand over her mouth, desperate to keep control of herself, to not let the tears win.
Somewhere in the darkness, Caleb found a shred of sympathy.
“That’s not why she died,” he said softly.
Arianna’s eyes flashed up. She was nodding frantically. “It is. It is why she died. She would rather die than move out of the house. Maybe…maybe if I hadn’t said anything to her. Maybe if I’d just told her we’d think about it. Or better yet, called it all off.” Arianna jumped up and charged at Caleb. He was bracing for an attack, but all she did was rip the bottle out of his hand. She dropped the glass and it shattered.
Caleb sighed. “It was her time. It had nothing to do with the conversation you had.”
She scrambled back to the sofa. “You tell yourself that so you can sleep, Caleb,” she said in an ugly voice. “But I know the truth.” She drank right from the bottle, four hard gulps that left her gasping and writhing from the burn. He went to her and took the bottle.
“What good is this going to do, huh?” He put it on the coffee table and considered sitting down beside her. It nagged at him how the condolence was flowing in the wrong direction, and he decided to stay standing.
He could see she was physically struggling against rising emotion. Her eyes were everywhere, her breathing was erratic, and she didn’t know what to do with her hands.
In one last attempt to not feel the grief, she grabbed handfuls of her hair, leaning over her legs. And then the dam broke. One ragged sob after another shook her.
She repeatedly shoved off Caleb’s attempt to touch her. “Why’d you have to come down here?”
He stepped back and watched her until she regained enough control to speak, even if through ragged heaves.
“When we had nothing, no one to turn to, she welcomed us here. I was pregnant, and what would we have done if she’d turned us away? We’d be under a blanket tent in a shanty, that’s where. Homeless. Like vagrants. But she wouldn’t let that happen. She housed us and fed us and smacked your father on the back of the head more times than I can count because he wouldn’t warm up to you. She made things for these babies, helped them learn how to walk. She practically handed me her kitchen. She stepped aside and made this my home.” Her face disintegrated into a fresh wave of tears. “Why couldn’t I remember that? Why couldn’t I just stop and remember all that she had done? Instead, you know what I did in return? I was mean and ungrateful and impatient, and when I couldn’t take anymore, I tried to kick her out of her own house! The house she welcomed me into!” She slithered down on the couch and rolled away from Caleb. He waited several more moments through jagged crying.
“I’m awful,” she whispered. “The most horrible person ever. I’ll never forgive myself.”
***
Funeral days were miserable, exhaustive days. But the business and sheer workload required on those days were what saved one’s sanity, Maura firmly believed. She’d been at the Jenkin’s farm since dawn, cleaning the house and preparing food for visitors after the service. Tarin, who was now over the worst of her morning sickness, promised to come and help later in the afternoon.
As was Maura’s fashion, she had handled many of the details leading up to this day, including helping Caleb write out his mother’s obituary and submitting it to Muzzy for publishing. She expected a fair turnout at the house later.
The sun was out, the birds chirping, but the house was eerily silent. Maura wished she were making preparations for a better occasion. She worked until the last minute, giving her just enough time to change her clothes, tidy her hair, and get to the service with Ian and Scottie in tow.
It was short, as Caleb requested. His face still held that look of disbelief that this wasn’t real. Arianna managed to find a suitable black dress, and though she stood beside him at the graveside, there was a noticeable distance. Ethel’s friends, some of the oldest generation in Rockport came up to him with halted gaits and shaking hands, one after another. They mentioned how sad it was, how much Ethel would be missed, and told him stories about when he was a small boy. He tried to smile, shake hands, but really didn’t hear much of what they said.
He was more than grateful to get into the back of Jonathan’s Tourer and away from the cemetery.
He and Arianna didn’t speak on the way home. They got out of the car and Arianna walked toward the porch, Caleb to the barn.
***
Three days after the funeral, Arianna appeared to be her old self again with one exception. The iciness between her and Caleb had further disintegrated into a deep freeze. She used hand gestures and nodding for most of their conversation, and he made little attempt to improve the situation. He seemed happy with the distance. She looked happy when he was outside working, and she didn’t have to see the evidence that her marriage was crumbling right before her eyes.
She made extra bread that morning, two pies for dessert and put extra fruit and sugar on the twin’s oatmeal. She smiled sweetly at them, and they started back from the foot of the stairs where they liked to play with uncertain eyes.
There were still enough leftovers from the funeral to feed them for days. Arianna went ahead and made a roast anyway. She made a dozen biscuits, two trays of cookies, and two gallons of lemonade. By noon, she found it impossible to stop and went from one recipe to another using the excuse that the girls were coming over to tend the garden and company should always be fed.
Caleb walked in for lunch and looked around. “What’s this?” he asked his eyes ogling at the dishes all over the table and counters.
“Food,” she said, not turning toward him.
“I can see that, but why so much?”
Arianna merely shrugged. He pulled his cap off and shoved a hand through his hair. “We’ll never eat this in a week, and we can’t afford to waste it.”
The only sound was the whisk scraping against the metal bowl as she prepared the meringue.
***
Arianna listened to the sound of the ticking clock. Generally, this lulled her to sleep, but not tonight. She stared at the murky shadows cast by the moon on the wall and ceiling. Beside her Caleb lay on his back, snoring lightly, the sheet pushed down to his waist on this muggy night. Turning her head silently, she could barely make out the gentle rise and fall of his chest. He was in a deep sleep now. Ever so gently, she pushed the sheet off and slipped her feet to the floor. She made it to the door with only three creaks of the floorboards, none loud enough to wake him. Out the door and into the hall, she breathed a sigh of relief.
Getting down the stairs proved a bit more difficult. Every step had something to say. Once in the kitchen, she stopped and listened. She heard nothing from upstairs. Much more nervous now, she inched toward the pantry. Lighting a candle from the counter, she opened the door, wincing at the groan the old wood made. She stopped and listened again.
A moment later, she dropped to her knees and pushed aside the bucket of potatoes. Behind it sat a small box, and she opened the lid and looked down at their cash savings. It wasn’t much. More than her friends had set aside, for certain. But still, if she used this money to purchase everything they immediately needed, there wouldn’t be anything left. It was for the direst of emergencies. The most desperate of circumstances. She took two one-dollar bills and clutched them tightly. Shame and guilt rose up, and she beat it back viciously.
Only when she was out the door, standing on the porch in her nightgown, did she feel like she could actually breathe and she sucked in a gulp of air. She scurried down the stairs and around the corner of the house. There she found the small bag she’d placed earlier and tore it open. Throwing her nightgown over her head, she stood naked in the dim moonlight. Just as quickly, she th
rew on a dress. Black, sleeveless, and short.
She hopped as she walked, slipping on one shoe then the other as she moved down the long driveway. She could barely make out a vehicle at the end, inched just past the opening. The headlights snapped on, the passenger door flew open, and Arianna picked up her step.
Episode Four
Changed
He’d smiled all the way from Boston, had stuck his head out the window, and let the wind whip his hair, his eyes closed against the bright sun. Now he was more serious, more nervous. And it was just beginning to sink in that this was real. He had a family.
Jonathan opened the front door. He stepped aside and Ava led Eddie by the hand.
“Here it is,” Jonathan said.
“Welcome home,” Ava added squeezing his hand. He looked around. It was all he’d hoped for and more. The orphanage smelled musty, often of sickness and strong cleanser. Here, it was bright and clean, and he could smell something baking. It made his stomach growl.
Maura walked from the kitchen holding Amy on her hip and a broad smile on her face.
“Eddie, this is our good friend, Maura.”
“Nice to meet you, ma’am,” Eddie said shyly.
“Very nice to meet ye, Eddie. I’ve heard a lot about ye.”
He only stared back, not knowing what to say.
“I’ve made a late lunch if you’d like some,” she said, thumbing over her shoulder. Amy stretched her arms out to her mother, and Maura passed her off. She squatted down gracefully, bringing Amy down to Eddie’s height.
“This is Amy,” she said. Eddie smiled and touched her hand.
“You have a son, too?” he asked, craning his neck to look at Jonathan.
“Yes, I thought he’d be here—” Before he could finish, they heard the bedroom door fly open, hitting the wall behind, and Jean’s heavy steps stampeding down the staircase.
“Did you bring him? Is he here?” He came to an abrupt halt.
“We did. Eddie, this is Jean.”
They were both smiling.
“How old are you?”
“Eight,” Eddie said.
“I’ll be eight soon. Wanna see our room?”
Eddie nodded quickly, and they ran up the stairs together. And with that, Eddie had moved in.
“Well, isn’t that sweet,” Maura said. “A successful homecomin’ if ye ask me.”
“Thank you so much for watching them while we went to pick him up,” Ava said.
Maura threw a hand. “Don’t mention it. I hardly feel of use anymore outside me own family and the Hettie Helps column. Sometimes I wish for a crisis—a wee one, mind ye—just to have more to do.”
“You were a tremendous help with Ethel’s funeral.”
Maura dismissed the compliment.
“As for a bigger crisis, be careful what you wish for,” Jonathan said with a wink. “I’ll go get Eddie’s bag.”
Ava followed Maura back into the kitchen.
“I hope he’ll be happy here,” Ava said, glancing at the ceiling where she could hear the boys bumping around upstairs.
“How can he not? He has a real family now, and anything has to be better than livin’ at the orphanage.”
Ava nodded thoughtfully. “Looking back, it just seems like it happened so fast. Not that I’m regretting it,” she added quickly. “Jonathan and I, we acted on our heart’s instinct and it just…happened so fast.”
Maura patted her arm. “Yer heart’s instinct is rarely wrong. Don’t give it another thought. After a few days, you’ll be over the newness of each other and things will settle into a routine. It will be like he’s always been here.”
“I hope you’re right,” Ava said.
“Of course I am,” she replied with a huff, busying herself at the sink. “When am I wrong?”
Ava just grinned.
“I finally heard back from Miss Arianna. She said they will be able to make it for Eddie’s wee party tonight after all.”
Ava frowned. “I hope it’s not too much to ask her to come out so soon after the funeral.”
“On the contrary. I think it will do her good. Miss Arianna is always up for a gatherin’ of any kind.” She cast a knowing glance in Ava’s direction, and they shared a smile. “Speaking of which…” Maura dropped her voice. “Does Mr. Jonathan have any more knowledge of that night?”
Ava shook her head quickly. “No, and let’s keep it that way.”
She bent to pull the cake out of the oven. “I’d consider tellin’ him now that some time has gone by. Maybe mention it casually somehow. After all, this bunch has never been good at keepin’ secrets from one another.”
***
Ava was angry. Frustrated, really. Of all the gatherings they had, she’d hoped her friends would rally together a bit harder to make this welcoming party for Eddie livelier. There were no gifts, which Ava understood completely given everyone’s situation. That didn’t bother her. It was how everyone was acting. It hardly seemed like a party at all, but more like a bunch of people stuck in a room together trying to pass the time.
Arianna sat off by herself, brooding and only flashed a false smile when Jean or Maura said something to her. There were smaller children scattered all over the floor, and Claire had been wise to place Jac next to Amy to help keep him calm. In fact, everyone was calm. Too calm. Caleb stayed huddled with Ian and Aryl. Ava noticed Claire was watching them nervously. Normally, Jonathan would be with them, but tonight, he moved about, staying close to Eddie. The child seemed to be overwhelmed with the number of people crowded into the small house and the initial attention. As often as he could, Eddie sidled close to Scottie and Jean and clung to them like a life raft.
Ava began to regret the decision to have a party on the same night that Eddie arrived. She should have known it would be too much too soon. A picnic lunch at Caleb’s in a week or so would have been a better decision. She folded her arms and sighed, glancing around for Maura. She was with Tarin and Gordon, who sat on the sofa. They were the only ones who looked genuinely happy to be here. Tarin’s stomach swelled under her loose dress, she’d lost the pale, sickly look to her, and now her face glowed radiant, if not a bit swollen. Maura was completely absorbed in talk of her grand niece or nephew.
Claire crossed the room without taking her eyes off her husband.
“Care to share why you look so nervous tonight?” Ava asked.
“Is it that obvious?”
“More than the nose on your face.” Ava followed her eyes to where the men stood. “You told him, didn’t you?”
Claire groaned. “I had to. It was driving me crazy.”
“Claire! I thought we promised not to say a word to anyone!”
“I know, I’m sorry. He swore to me he wouldn’t say anything. He promised, and he’s not going to break it. I was just worried if she keeps going with this, we might need his help.”
“She’s not going to keep it up. She can’t, especially if we don’t agree to go back with her again.”
Claire rolled her eyes over to Ava. “When has Arianna ever needed us to go along with something?”
With her arms folded tightly. Arianna crossed her legs, swinging one quickly. She stared a hateful hole into the hardwood floor in front of her.
“Maybe we should go talk to her?” Claire suggested.
“Does she look like she wants to talk?”
Claire threw a hand and retreated to the empty kitchen. “I’m sorry Eddie’s party is a bust.”
Ava dragged out a chair and sat down with a thump. “It’s my fault. It was too soon. Not just for him but for everyone else. With Arianna not being herself and Ethel dying… I should have known better.”
Jean poked his head in the kitchen. “Ava, the sun is going down. Can we go outside and chase fireflies?”
“Sure,” Ava said, smiling. Certainly, it had to be more fun for them than standing around with adults and their boring chatter. Jean, then Scottie, then Eddie filed past. Eddie stopped abruptly and threw his a
rms around Ava, hugging her tightly.
“Thank you for the party. I’ve never had one before,” he said quietly. Ava’s eyes misted.
“You’re welcome, Eddie.”
***
Today, Ava would have a houseful. Arianna was due any minute with her three children, and she’d barely finished the breakfast dishes. At least it was a sunny day, and the older ones could play outside and help keep an eye on the younger ones when she needed to hang out the wash. Arianna hadn’t been specific about why she needed to drop the children off for the day other than saying she had errands to run. When Ava asked why Caleb couldn’t watch them, Arianna rolled her eyes and said he had to work and cursed his horse a few times.
While on the surface, Arianna seemed to have returned to her old self, both from the raucous night out and Ethel’s death, Ava knew her well enough to know something wasn’t quite right—like a clock that had one gear turning out of time. She couldn’t figure it out as she raced to get her morning chores done. Right as she finished, she heard the truck sputter to a stop outside. It sounded as if it was running very rough and wondered why Caleb was neglecting it.
Arianna walked in a moment later with her small brood and her appearance caught Ava by surprise.
She threw her eyes over her dress. “You really are intent on driving that poor stock boy out of his mind, aren’t you?”
Arianna pinched her nose with a grin. “Do I look good?”
“Yes. Too good to run errands on a Saturday, I’ll say that.”
Ava had brought Amy’s cradle downstairs and placed it by the window. Arianna settled Felicity in it and turned, dropping a hand on her hip.
Purling Road - the Complete Second Season: Episodes 1-10 Page 8