by Maisey Yates
“The trailer is going to be cold,” he said, the abrupt subject change nearly giving her whiplash.
“Fantastic. Any other selling features you want to throw out there? Black mold? A vole in the plumbing?”
“Maybe you should stay with me.”
“I...” Her stomach twisted, and she couldn’t decide whether she was excited by the proposition or slightly disappointed that he was basically the same as every other guy. “Because you want to have more sex?”
He cleared his throat, his obvious discomfort with his proposition proving that while he might have definite standard male tendencies, he wasn’t exactly the kind of guy she was used to dealing with. “Yes,” he said, the word bearing such weight that she could tell he hadn’t arrived at it easily.
“So this is the payment, huh?”
He shifted in his seat, turning to face her. “No. If you want to go to the trailer, you’re welcome to go to the trailer. I don’t... This isn’t a trade. Either you want to be with me again, or you don’t. And the decision is yours.”
She laughed, feeling nervous and more than a little bit unsettled. “You say that. But is it true?”
“I don’t lie.”
“I do,” she said, her voice hushed. “All the time. Sometimes lying is the only option. The truth is so limiting. Very often gets you into more trouble than it gets you out of.”
“Well,” he said, “I don’t.”
“So I can say no and I’ll still have a place to sleep?”
“Yes, you can say no.”
“I don’t want to.” She was surprised by that. Even more surprised that it had nothing to do with evening the score, or paying him back for any favors he’d done for her. Mainly, it wasn’t even about her desire to avoid spending more nights alone, with nothing but her thoughts to keep her company. Mainly, it wasn’t that. Mostly, she had just enjoy being with him. And, like chocolate, enjoyment like that was pretty rare in her world.
He was nice. He cared about her pleasure. She wanted him.
That seemed like more than enough reason to tell him yes.
“Okay. Let’s go to your place, then.”
CHAPTER SEVEN
IT WAS LATE. The sun was already washing through the trees, casting golden light into the darkened bedroom. He never woke up this late. Ever. But then, he never brought strangers back home with him only to spend all night engaged in every man’s favorite type of cardio.
Heat spread through his veins as he thought about everything that had gone on in that bed. About Casey. About how many times he had reached for her at night, finding her there, warm and willing and so incredibly beautiful he didn’t see any point in resisting.
He reached over to her side of the bed again and found nothing but a broad expanse of cold sheets. He sat upright, the blankets falling down around his waist as he looked around the room for any sign that she was still here. Her clothes were still there, in a little heap on the floor by the bed. And her bag was still sitting on top of his dresser.
He looked out the window, out to the deck that was attached to the back of the cabin. And there he saw her. Blond hair tumbled down her bare back, her soft, pale skin on display for him and the rest of the great outdoors. Her slim waist curved into perfect hips and a butt that was shaped like a heart. He’d never had that thought about a woman’s butt before. But hers was most definitely shaped like a heart.
She tilted her head back, shook her hair out, releasing her hold on the deck railing and spreading her arms wide, as though she was greeting the sun.
She wasn’t really a stranger anymore. Not after all that. Plus, now he knew she liked chocolate.
But she didn’t get it as often as she would like. She also liked the sun, apparently. Just another good reason for her to move on from Copper Ridge when the time came. It was beautiful here, but the Oregon coast wasn’t exactly known for its sun. It was an ideal environment if you liked mist or wanted to run into a sparkling vampire, but the weather wasn’t to everyone’s taste.
He was hesitant to interrupt her. She looked beautiful. Serene. And even though he didn’t know Casey all that well, he got the feeling that she wasn’t serene very often. Just looking at her made him feel calm. Settled. It was a deep, strange sense of stillness unlike any he could recall feeling before. He wasn’t sure why looking at this sexy little drifter made him feel that way, only that it did.
Probably the sex.
They’d had a lot of sex.
It kind of made a mockery of all of his deeply held beliefs about his control. About what kind of man he was. It turned out he was just as susceptible to temptations of the flesh as anyone else. He’d just figured that living with one of the world’s biggest cautionary tales had given him an edge in terms of keeping control of that susceptibility.
Only to a point, he’d discovered. Casey was that point.
But she was leaving. Her being here was temporary, so it seemed like there wasn’t really any harm. He would waste a lot more energy trying to resist her while she was staying here on the property then he would by just giving in.
Potentially shaky logic, but he would take it.
Without thinking, he swung his legs over the side of the bed and dropped the blankets as he stood, walking toward the door that led to the deck. He grabbed hold of the doorknob, turning it slowly, because he didn’t want to scare her. Of course, he realized as he took a step out onto the deck, walking up silently behind her probably wasn’t less scary.
“Hey,” he said, keeping his voice soft.
She turned around and his breath caught hard in his throat. He gave in to the intense desire to look down at her breasts, and he was not disappointed by the indulgence. Her nipples were tight from the frigid air, and so tempting he could barely keep his hands to himself. But he would. If he was going to cede one large victory to indulgence, then he would win small skirmishes for control.
“Hi,” she said, a small, funny smile curving her lips. “I couldn’t resist the view.” She waved her hand back behind them, indicating the thick grove of pine trees.
“It’s nice. And private, if you were wondering.”
“I figured. You know, just now, since you came out here like this.” Her cheeks turned pink when her eyes dropped down to where he was revealing everything.
He hadn’t taken her for the kind of girl who blushed about things.
“Are you blushing?”
“No,” she said. “It’s cold outside. Maybe I have a rash? But I don’t blush. Especially not over a naked dude. Not that you aren’t an exceptional naked dude. You are. Completely a cut above.” Her eyes dropped meaningfully again. “I want to make some kind of a joke about you being grade-A prime beef or something, because it seems like the kind of joke a farmer would get.”
He nodded once. “Got it.”
“But I don’t blush.”
“I believe you.”
“No, you don’t,” she said, squinting her eyes and tilting her head. “Why don’t you?”
“Because I saw you blush.”
“But don’t I come across as superjaded and stuff? The cold is a way more logical explanation.”
For just one moment he turned over the words that had entered his mind, turned them over, examined them, asked himself why he was even thinking about saying them. Because he didn’t say words like this. He didn’t talk to women like this. But he didn’t bring strangers home, either. So, screw it. “It would have to have been a big coincidence. A gust of cold air across your skin the second you looked at my cock.”
Her mouth dropped open, her blue eyes widening.
“What? You’re the only one allowed to be a little bit shocking?” he asked.
“Yes. Shocking is my territory. You’re a very nice guy. Salt of the earth. Rarely shocking. Aggressively appropr
iate.”
He reached out, wrapping his arm around her waist and tugging her up against him. She was soft, cold from standing outside and absolutely perfect. “Appropriate?”
“I might have to revise that opinion.”
“Yeah, you might.” He sighed heavily and released his hold on her reluctantly. “I have to go work.”
“Oh,” she said, wrinkling her nose. “There’s that responsibility.”
“You have to work today?”
“Not until later.”
“Well, when it’s time I’ll give you a ride down there.”
“You don’t have to do that,” she said, grimacing. “Because now I feel like you’re paying me back.”
“It’s not an exchange.” Frustration gnawed at him, because he wasn’t quite sure what it was, only that this wasn’t some kind of sexual-favors currency exchange.
“I’m sorry, I just don’t understand that.” She wrapped her arms around herself, shivering slightly as though she were suddenly feeling the cold. “We should go inside.”
She brushed past him, her hard footsteps putting a little jiggle in the heart shape of her rear. And he watched, even though he shouldn’t. Even though he should be more concerned with her emotional well-being than the shape of her ass. He was concerned. Just with both things.
He followed her back into the cabin. It was a small place. One bedroom, a bathroom and a living room–kitchen combo. It definitely wasn’t where he wanted to be. Definitely wasn’t where he saw himself being at twenty-six. But all of the money he’d saved to buy his own house had gone back into the farm. So here he was.
He knew all about paying into things and getting nothing in return. Knew all about uneven exchanges. Pouring into something hoping that it would be a long-term investment that panned out. In his experience, all of his investments had just required more investing. It was like rolling a boulder uphill, making a little bit of progress, then losing it again. Then hitting a slick patch and getting sent all the way back down to the bottom.
She was rummaging around in her things, pulling clothes on, obviously irritated with him. And for some reason it bothered him.
“I think that we need to outline some rules here,” he said.
She looked at him as she pulled her shirt over her head, shook her hair out and raised a brow. “You want to lay down ground rules? What, like don’t fall in love with you?”
“I don’t think you’re in any danger of falling in love with me. I’m kind of an ass.”
She snorted. “Somehow, you manage to be both the nicest guy I’ve ever met and kind of an ass. So, I won’t argue.”
“Right. Anyway, this thing between us. The attraction stuff...”
“The screwing,” she said.
“If that’s what makes you happy. What we’re doing, it’s completely separate from you having a place to stay. Separate from the rides to work and all of that. I would do that anyway.”
“Your mom is the one who said I could stay.”
“Yes. She does that. And when she does it, I’m the person who ends up taking care of her strays. She likes the idea of helping people, but the fact of the matter is she can barely help herself. So when she has someone staying on the property I end up driving them places when they need it. I end up taking care of any issues they’re having with the trailer. I get them to job interviews, or whatever else they might need. Her heart is in the right place. Her life is in just about the worst place. Makes things difficult.”
“Okay, so if your goal is to make me feel like an even bigger burden, you’ve accomplished it.”
She started to walk out of the bedroom and he reached out and grabbed her arm, tugging her back to him. “No. My goal is to make you understand that this isn’t me asking you for payment. Or giving you any favors because you’re sleeping with me. I could go out and sleep with someone else. I’m damn sure you could, too. But I don’t want to. Because I want you. That has nothing to do with debt.”
She blinked, swallowing visibly. “You want me?”
“Yes.”
“Say it,” she said.
“I want you, Casey. That’s the only reason I want you in my bed. Not because I deserve it. I don’t.”
“I don’t know if I’d say that.” She closed the space between them, curving her hand around his neck and drawing up on her toes to kiss him. “If anyone deserves a little bit of fun it’s you.”
He didn’t know why, but he didn’t especially like her characterizing what passed between them as fun. Yeah, it was kind of fun. But that was too simple. There was more to it. It was fun, but it was torture. It was easy, but it was also a bit like lighting yourself on fire. Desperate, hot, all-consuming.
Maybe it wasn’t that for her. He didn’t exactly want to get into the experience conversation, but he would guess that she had a lot more than he did.
But the fact remained that he had made her blush.
“I’ll take your word for it,” he said, instead of giving voice to any of the things he was thinking.
“I think I deserve some fun, too. Show me your tractor.”
“Is that a euphemism?” he asked.
“No, your euphemistic tractor is out and proud. I want to see a literal tractor. And it better be green, just like on TV. It had better fulfill all of my farm fantasies.”
“I hate to break it to you, but if you have farm fantasies you might also have some psychological issues.”
“I have farm fantasies, but you have a farm.” She smiled. “I think that goes to show that your insanity is greater.”
“Sure. Why don’t you come with me to have a look at my insanity?”
* * *
JUST A COUPLE of days ago Casey could not have imagined that she would be taking a tour of farmland in a tractor. But she was. She had a strong feeling that he was only indulging her by letting her ride in it, because his truck would be the more practical way to get around. The tractor was, in fact, green. That pleased her.
Pretty much everything about the day had pleased her, and she wasn’t sure what to do with that.
The property was beautiful. Acres of green fields, hedged in by mountains that stood tall and blue like centurions keeping guard over the kingdom. You couldn’t see the ocean from here, but it didn’t make it less beautiful. She had the thought not too long ago that she wanted to go to the city. Somewhere anonymous. Somewhere she could get lost. She could get lost here. Lost in the silence. In the wide-open spaces, and the tight knots of trees.
But the idea of being alone like that, of finding peace in the solitude, was scary.
Cities were busy. She could walk down the street and never have a thought in her mind that didn’t pertain to what was happening around her. To the people walking past, traveling in tight groups like schools of fish, to the cars going by in a never-ending current, horns blaring, exhaust hanging in the air, advertisements flashing all around in neon. It occupied her every cell, every space inside of her, until she was filled with her surroundings.
But this place hollowed her out. Left her with empty chasms and so much quiet that her brain rebelled, sending thoughts and memories to the surface that had been resting on the bottom for years.
This wasn’t the kind of solitude she wanted. It was all a little bit too much. Too intense.
But right now, she was riding on a tractor, so that helped keep the internal monologue at a minimum. Especially since she was riding next to Aiden. There was something perversely enjoyable about it. Sitting next to him as they bumped along on the dirt roads, their shoulders touching, as if they were some Amish couple on a date. Though she supposed that Amish people didn’t drive tractors. But whatever.
It was sweet. And old-fashioned. And about a hundred other things that she’d never had before. Okay, so the fact that she’d had sex with him a
t least three times last night—and was seriously thinking that they needed to do it again soon—wasn’t particularly old-fashioned. But that was fine by her. He was...everything.
She’d had no idea it could be like that.
He was enthusiastic, and he cared about her. About what she felt. About her enjoying herself. He didn’t sit back like a king demanding service.
He was telling the truth. It wasn’t payment. And he had never treated it like that.
“I’m sorry,” she said, shouting over the tractor engine.
“About?” He looked toward her, one dark brow raised before he turned his focus back to the dirt road in front of them. She studied his profile. His strong nose, his square jaw. Those lips. Very, very talented lips.
“Accusing you of asking for payment, giving payment, whatever. I don’t even remember all the lame stuff I said. I know that isn’t what this is. And you’ve never acted like it was. Sure, you’ve been grumpy, a little bit judgmental—both of me and of yourself—but you’ve never treated me like a whore.”
He frowned, his dark brows drawing together. “No. And I don’t like you using those words when you talk about yourself.”
She lifted her shoulder. “Why not? Plenty of other people have said it.”
“So? You can’t let other people decide what you think about yourself. All those people... Do they even know you?”
She snorted, laughing to try to get rid of the pressure in her chest. “You don’t know me.”
“Maybe not. But you know yourself, right?”
She lifted a shoulder. “Sometimes.”
“Casey,” he said, stopping the tractor and killing the engine, “tell me.”
Her heart stopped beating. “Tell you what?”
“Whatever you need to. Everything.”
“Why?”
“It’s on the tip of your tongue all the time. You insult yourself. You put yourself down, and you make it sound like you don’t care. But you keep bringing it up, so I imagine that you do care. It just seems to me that you’re carrying something pretty heavy and are asking for help even though you don’t realize it.”