Christian tilted his head and focused on my chest. I mentally commanded my heart to slow down as I took a shallow breath and sighed.
“Don’t bother,” he said. “If you can’t trust me, then I hope there’s someone you can trust enough to tell. Whatever it is, you shouldn’t keep it to yourself.”
If Tarek had a Vampire following me, then talking to Christian would be all the permission needed to spill blood in my name.
I wanted to confide in someone more than anything, but fear kept me quiet.
Chapter 12
In a quaint little shop on the corner of Mockingbird Street, I discovered a world of gourmet cocoa flavors I never knew existed. It felt warmer that morning and frozen puddles of water glistened beneath the sunshine. But the chill still clung to the air as a reminder that winter hadn’t sunk its teeth in just yet.
I ambled down the sidewalk with my sack of goodies, thinking about how proud Justus had looked when I told him how I’d used my gift to open the locks. It was a tremendous feeling to know that my gift was more than just a novelty.
A dark, sleek car with tinted windows pulled up on my left. The rear window lowered and Tarek stuck his head out, curling his finger for me to get in with him.
Without a word, I complied.
We sat in absolute silence for ten minutes. While uncertain of what had happened to Christian, I knew if Tarek wanted him dead, it would have already happened. The car veered off the road close to the river and the driver stepped out and took a short walk.
A black fedora sat on Tarek’s head, covering up the hideous haircut. It appeared that a wardrobe consultant had forced him to ditch the biker look and put him in a charcoal-colored suit, tailored to fit his formidable physique.
“Your time is up. I want an answer.”
I had thought about it.
A lot.
It was all I’d been able to think about. I’d eat my meal and go to my room, worrying myself into a stomachache about what the right thing to do was. Each decision came with risk and consequence. If we tried to expose Tarek without evidence, it would compromise the safety of Logan’s family and everyone I knew. I couldn’t live with myself if he hurt someone close to me. Not one life would be worth my freedom.
I knew it.
Tarek knew it.
I exhaled and wrung my hands together angrily. “What are your conditions?”
He relaxed against the door and spread out his legs, giving him an air of authority he didn’t deserve. He’d grown a tuft of hair on his chin, something his fingers pinched at during our conversation. “First, you will sever your trust with Logan.” His eyes rested on mine. “Cheat on him.”
My head involuntarily shook.
“Are you backing out of our agreement?”
A fleck of tobacco on the floorboard caught my attention, distracting me from reality.
“This isn’t a negotiation, Mage. You will bed another male, and it must be someone Cross knows—not a stranger.” Tarek rubbed his finger across his chin, his grin widening. “Tell him he doesn’t satisfy you. Tell him he’s not worthy. If I can’t have my revenge in blood, I will ruin his heart.”
Tears stung my eyes as he continued.
“I’m hosting a social gathering and you’ll attend as my date. Our courtship will be brief, but believable. After you accept my claim in public, we’ll make it official. Those are my conditions and you’ll not deviate from them by a hair.” He leaned forward and hardened his eyes. “Don’t think for a second I won’t find out if you’ve broken our agreement and told someone about this. Do exactly as I say or blood will rain down upon you.”
I wiped the back of my hand across my sweaty brow as the true terror of what was unfolding became vividly clear. “They won’t accept a union between us; I’m not a Chitah.”
Tarek chuckled. “You let me worry about that.”
My hands were fully charged and had I touched him, I could have easily knocked him out. But I didn’t have the stomach to remove his head—one of the few ways to kill an immortal. The driver would be a witness, and I would be executed.
“This begins immediately, Mage.” Tarek abruptly leaned so close that I looked away from his rabid eyes. A satisfied growl fluttered in his throat at my submissive reaction. “You have three nights to drop your panties and tell Cross all about it. If you fail, I will not award you another day. I think I’ve made my intentions clear. How you want to play this out is your choice,” he said, pointing his finger. “Now get the fuck out of my car. You can foot it from here.”
Tarek left me on the side of a rural road twenty minutes from home, holding a bag of peppermint cocoa. The wind snagged my hair and flung it about carelessly. Each step was a reminder of the uncertain path that lay ahead. I was finally gaining the respect of my Ghuardian. Logan was teaching me to trust again through his patience. A position with Novis provided me with opportunities I’d never dreamed possible.
Ruined. All of it.
Once home, I tossed the plastic bag haphazardly on the floor and went quietly to my room. The house still smelled like morning coffee and I found Max downstairs for a change, sitting in the hallway.
“Silver!” Justus barked from his study. “Your guard just called and said you disappeared.”
“I felt like walking,” I mumbled against my pillow.
He came into the bedroom and stood in the doorway. “Why would you walk home in this cold?”
“I can’t freeze to death, so what does it matter? I’m not feeling well, Ghuardian. Something I ate.”
Three days, only three.
Three days until I ruined my life, betrayed a noble man, and became someone that I wouldn’t recognize in the mirror. A choice lay before me and I immediately ruled out Logan’s brothers. It would have destroyed him.
Justus was out, and also Finn—they were family to me. We didn’t have many mutual friends, so this narrowed down my choices. Remi remained a possibility, but he was Justus’s friend. Plus, he intimidated me. I lingered on Adam’s name for a while, and that would hurt Logan because Adam once carried a torch for me. The only problem was I didn’t have the stomach to use Adam so heartlessly—not after all he’d been through.
It boiled down to two names: Simon and Christian. The problem with Simon wasn’t getting him in bed, but his strategist brain figuring out that something wasn’t right. Plus, the only way to pull that off would be to get him rip-roaring drunk, and even then, the idea of ruining our friendship made me sick.
Then again, once I married Tarek, I had no doubt that my relationships would be severed.
I stuffed the pillow over my head and cried the kind of tears that are shed when you’re mourning a profound loss.
***
The next evening, Justus busied himself installing new security locks on Page’s doors and windows. I didn’t really get what all that was about; he said they were just basic reinforcements that would prevent intruders from strong-arming their way in.
Page called and asked if I could talk him out of it, but once Justus got something in his head, there was no stopping him. He told her to accept it as an alternative payment for her services; this way, he would know that his money was being spent wisely.
Naturally, this rubbed Page the wrong way.
After he left, I watched the surveillance monitors in the control room. A shadow emerged from the trees and stood in the clearing by the motion-sensitive light, staring up at the camera. It was as if Christian could see through those electric wires, but I knew that wasn’t the case. I ran my finger over the keyboard and punched in the code to disable the entrance alarm. Within a minute or two, the front door opened, and I reactivated the alarms.
“You want a drink?” I asked, filling my glass with vodka.
“I don’t drink on the job,” he replied. “Dulls the senses.”
Yeah, dull away, I thought, downing my glass and pouring a second. Christian shook off his coat, hung it on the hook, and followed me into the living room, pausing at th
e entrance.
We’d chatted on a few occasions like this because I hated the idea of him standing out in the cold all night. It gave me a guilt complex. Despite his brassy personality, Christian was conversational and someone I enjoyed listening to when he wasn’t needling me.
I sat on the white flokati rug spread before the sofa. The only source of light emanated from the faux fireplace.
“Take a load off. This place is locked up tight.”
Christian accepted the invitation and sat on the floor with his arms over his bent knees.
“Want to tell me what’s going on with you?” he asked.
“Just having second thoughts about getting permanent with Logan, that’s all.” The vodka was already racing through me.
“Is that so?”
I rinsed my throat with another long sip and he took the drink from my hand. “You don’t need to get plastered to talk to me; I’ll listen to whatever you want to say.” Christian set the glass down on the far table and shifted to face me. “What vexes you, girl? Am I to worry about your safety, because I’d like to know why I’m being shadowed by a Vampire? Each time he’s done with me, I find you in such peculiar conditions.”
It was a now or never moment. There wasn’t enough alcohol in the house to dull the ache in my heart.
“Did you ever think about being with another Breed, Christian? I never imagined it would be so hard.”
“Well, now, I’m no Dear Abby, but I think I can tell you with absolute certainty that I’m not the person you should be asking for relationship advice.” He snorted, leaning against the sofa and straightening his legs.
I risked a glance in his eyes. “So I’m not comparable to Vampire women? You once said that I wasn’t classy or sexy.”
“I was being cruel, Silver. Don’t dwell on stupid things I’ve said, please God.”
“The truth is cruel. I’m definitely none of those.”
“Cheer up, lass, you’re not so bad.” He dropped a friendly arm around my shoulder.
“Christian?”
“Yep.”
“When you were in my bed that night, was it just the blood, or was it me that turned you on?”
Something dark played on his features; a memory of the night when he shared his blood so that I might live. What transpired in that exchange remained a mystery to me, but not to Christian. I’d tasted his emotions toward the end and he thirsted for more than blood.
I seized the moment and sat up, throwing my leg over his lap to straddle him. My lips mashed against his throat and he shuddered as I scraped my teeth gently against his skin.
“Because I think about it, Christian. I think about tasting you again.”
I ran my tongue along his neck, feeling the rise in his pulse where my fingers rested on his vein.
“Stop what you’re doing,” he breathed. “Stop this.” His hands clasped around my hips; he could toss me off at a moment’s notice.
But he didn’t.
My tongue glided over his neck once more before I slowly dragged my mouth across his bristly jaw until our lips joined. Our breaths met and he closed his bottomless eyes, allowing my tongue to run over the edge of his teeth. Christian’s fangs punched out and pierced my tongue.
This was how you seduced a Vampire. I was learning that men had erogenous zones specific to their Breed.
I melted a kiss against his mouth, arousing him with blood. By the firm way his fingers pressed into my hips, I knew that he was urgent to take it but resisted—throwing his head back.
Perfect.
I lightly bit his neck, tasting his salty skin. A moan vibrated against my lips as a battle raged between reason and instinct. Beneath my short skirt I wore no panties; not my usual attire, but Christian hadn’t known me long enough to have figured that out.
My mouth sucked on the soft skin of his throat just above the vein, feeling every muscle in his body tense and move all at once.
“Ever had a Mage?” I whispered, wrapping my fingers around his wrists and placing his hands on my chest. He dropped them to my hips again, as if unwilling to participate. Christian became a combustible package of dynamite that I was desperately trying to blow up.
Deepening the kiss, I tore open my shirt and the buttons tumbled down his chest and rolled across the floor. I hissed, not expecting how painful his grip would be.
Christian quickly let go. Breathing heavy. Glossy, black eyes hooded. His mouth parted and fangs extended.
I wanted to get it over with, and fast. I unzipped his trousers and wrapped my hand tightly around him.
“Ah, Christ,” he groaned. Christian bucked beneath me. Our energy had no effect on Vampires, but then again, there was no sexual energy rushing through my body. I wasn’t as aroused as he was, and because of that, I wasn’t sure if I could take him. He didn’t smell like Logan or touch me in the same reverent way. Christian also didn’t have that faint trace of mint on his tongue.
It was all wrong.
“Slow down,” he said. “Slow…”
I closed my eyes, trying to forget who I was with, stroking him against me. Nothing worked and my frustration rose. I finally gave up and lifted my hips.
“Wait, Silver, you aren’t ready.” Christian began pushing me away.
“I’m so ready.” I said, kissing his jaw.
“Stop this. Stop!” His loud voice shook with frustration and anger. In a swift motion, he tossed me onto the white carpet like a heap of dirty laundry.
And that’s exactly what I felt like.
“This isn’t what you want. I can sense it in your touch, I can hear it in your heartbeat, I can see it in your capillaries, and I can taste it in your blood. What is this all about? Don’t use me for your games,” he said, straightening himself up. “Do you think I would take a woman who doesn’t even want me? I’m not desperate. Or are you so insecure that this is a feeble attempt to convince yourself that you could have any man, and you aren’t as undesirable as I once suggested?” Christian rose to his feet and zipped up his pants. “I have little patience for a woman’s whims of insanity.”
“Just go,” I croaked.
He stood over me and his face soured. “I wasn’t thinking with the right head when we got this started up. Had I been, I would have remembered that I don’t find you attractive in that particular way. Not to say that men won’t take a shine to you, but…”
Christian cut himself off and his black eyes glimmered.
“Something else is behind this,” he said decidedly. “Does this have to do with Tarek?”
I shook my head. “Leave.”
Chapter 13
As planned, Logan arrived at the house shortly thereafter. I lowered the security to allow him entrance and changed into a new shirt, not even bothering to put on a pair of panties. I may not have had sex with Christian, but Logan would be able to smell the sexual intent all over me. It wouldn’t matter if I had consummated the act or not.
In my mind, I had cheated with Christian. Tarek would never be able to scent the lie because it was something I wholeheartedly believed.
I wanted to scream.
I wanted to throw up.
I wanted to kill Tarek.
When the front door swung open, Logan’s nostrils flared and his face became placid. Before I could close the door on him—having had second thoughts—he caught my arm and pulled me into the hall.
His pupils were engorged, fluctuating between black and gold. Logan bent forward and ran his nose along my hair, down my neck, and drew in a deep breath. A frightening sound rumbled from within his chest, the kind of sound a man might hear just moments before death. Logan had developed his skills over the years—able to pick up layers of emotions the average Chitah could not.
“Why is the smell of sex and guilt all over you?” His monotone voice gave me a fright.
I jerked my arm away. “Let go of me.”
A door crashed open from down the hall and Christian stalked forward.
“I command you to ste
p back. As her guard, I will only give one warning.” His eyes flicked between us, and I knew if it were anyone else, Christian would have already thrown him to the ground.
Logan turned away from me when something else caught his attention, and that was my smell all over Christian.
He cocked his head to the side, stepping forward once.
Twice.
And then a third step. When Logan turned to look at me over his shoulder, his eyes were blazing with rage and betrayal.
In one second, every beautiful moment between us crumbled at my feet. The way he would stroke my cheek as I told a story, his boisterous laugh, the way he watched me with such adoration whenever I entered a room. Every memory we had together that laid out a path of the unknown—a future I’d been afraid of—was blackened. In that instant, any choice I ever had with Logan was removed. Any resolution I had hoped to find in my heart was destroyed.
“Logan, it’s my life and you can’t control what I want. You’re only courting me, but I’m a woman of free will and this isn’t working between us. I don’t want a man who takes his time because deep down, he’s not serious. You can’t satisfy me the way a woman needs to be satisfied.” I looked at Christian and thought of him so that lies didn’t bleed into my scent.
Logan winced, and my anger at Tarek fueled the fire on my tongue.
“This isn’t right,” I said, waving a finger between the two of us. “It was just an infatuation, but it’s stagnant and going nowhere. I need more in my life than what you can offer. I’ve made my decision, and I reject you, Logan Cross. I want you to leave before we say things we’ll regret.”
An observant Chitah could sense a lie, but not amid so many complex layers of strong emotions, including his own.
He didn’t lunge after Christian as I had expected. Logan Cross turned his back and made a memorable walk down the long hall until he vanished from my life.
The person Tarek really murdered was me, because I had to hurt someone I cared deeply about. Logan would one day recover from this and move on. I never would.
I closed the door, turned the security back on, and went into my room. I slept beneath the covers for two hours before Justus stormed down the hall.
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