Leaning over, she brushed her lips lightly against his. Once, twice and then again, each pass lingering just a second longer than the last.
He cupped the back of her head, bringing her closer to keep her from ending the kiss too soon.
The kiss deepened.
As he savaged and savored her mouth, Chris could feel his self-control ebbing away. She could reduce him to a mass of passions so quickly he hardly knew how it happened.
Only that it did.
He’d never known anyone like Jewel before and, most likely, never would again. She was an anomaly he couldn’t begin to understand. Being who he was, he promised himself that someday he would unravel this enigma that was Jewel Parnell.
But not tonight.
Tonight there would only be a third round of lovemaking. There was no room for anything else. Tomorrow with its cold reality was still light-years away from here, he promised himself.
With a swift movement, Chris shifted their positions and suddenly, she was the one on the bottom and he on top. Moving his body in a gentle, familiar rhythm, he paid homage to every soft, pliable, damp inch of her, grazing her body with his fingers and his mouth.
Starting a fire that mere water couldn’t begin to put out.
She shouldn’t be doing this. Sleeping with Chris had long ceased being about just enjoying herself and scratching an “itch” that was distracting her. She was sinking into that place where she needed this to keep on functioning. Needed to have this man make love with her. Needed to feel his lips on hers, needed the wondrous high that only he seemed capable of creating for her each and every time a climax shuddered through her.
It was that old catch-22. The more she made love with him, the more she wanted to make love with him. She knew she needed to stop, to walk away while she still could…
Who was she kidding? That window had long since shut. She couldn’t walk away.
And yet, she knew she couldn’t stay, either. To stay would be to invite the tarnish to come, as it did with each relationship that was out there.
Better to have all this live on in her memory, perfect and wonderful, than to have it disintegrate right in front of her, turning sour the way she had seen so many relationships do, time after time.
If she continued like this, all she was doing was setting herself up for a fall. For an all-consuming, crashing disappointment.
Nothing lasted forever. Or even came close.
But, oh, it was so hard to be strong when the fire inside her belly threatened to eat her alive.
Later. She’d think about it later.
When she could think.
Because right now, Chris’s very presence was blotting out her ability to form coherent thoughts. Even short ones.
There was only one cure for that. And it was temporary at best.
Threading her arms around his neck, Jewel arched her hips to admit him and gave herself up to the revelry that hovered such a short distance away, waiting to swallow her up.
“So how’s it going?” Kate asked breathlessly. Two steps ahead of Jewel, she had just taken a seat at the small table she’d commandeered for their semi-regular get-together at the coffee shop that was located across the street from Nikki’s hospital.
Every week or two, she, Jewel and Nikki tried to meet at least for coffee to touch base with one another. But a last-minute patient emergency had Nikki calling to beg off today, so it was just Jewel and Kate this time around. Until recently, they’d used these meetings to commiserate about their marriage-minded, interfering, matchmaking mothers. But of late, the lament had proven to be no longer necessary, since two of them were now, much to their mothers’ unending joy, engaged to be married.
Kate set down the two coffees she was carrying and slid one across the short length of the table to Jewel.
Her eyes were dancing as she said, “I hear Aunt Cecilia sent you a man you couldn’t refuse.”
“Who told you that?” Jewel asked sharply. Hands wrapped tightly around the container, she was about to take a sip but stopped dead at Kate’s question.
“I don’t have a ‘single’ informant,” Kate told her. “Like everything else, it came in threes. Aunt Cecilia, Aunt Maizie and my mother, all of whom have declared, separately and together, that this guy—Christopher Culhane is it?—is the ‘perfect catch.’” She took a healthy swallow before leaning in to Jewel. “Your mother even showed me a picture of him.” Kate smiled, pleased for Jewel. “He’s very good-looking.” She winked at her friend. “If I wasn’t so crazy in love with Jackson, I might have even Indian-wrestled you for this guy.”
Jewel was still digesting the previous part of Kate’s statement. “A picture? Where did my mother get a picture of him?”
A horrifying scenario presented itself to Jewel. Her mother posing Chris like some artist’s model in a nude sculpting class. She could feel her cheeks heating and picked up the cup again. She could blame the shift in her skin tone on the hot coffee if Kate noticed.
“Actually,” Kate amended, “she showed me a page out of the University of Bedford’s last yearbook. They had the professors listed separately. A physics professor.” She gave a low, appreciative whistle. “I must say I’m impressed.”
She had to nip this in the bud now. The last thing she wanted was for either one of her almost-married best friends to come up and lavish pity on her once she and Chris went their separate ways—as they inevitably would sooner or later.
“There’s no point in being impressed,” Jewel told her dismissively. “There’s nothing going on.”
Jewel had a tell, an unconscious giveaway when she was lying to someone she cared about. A tic in her right cheek would start up. She knew it was all but dancing now.
Kate kept a straight face. “Oh?”
Jewel shrugged. She and Kate, as well as Nikki, had been friends since birth. Maybe even since conception. Keeping things from either of them had never been easy for her. She could hide the truth from her mother far more easily than she could from her friends.
So with a sigh she said, “Well, there’s ‘something’ going on,” she was referring to their nightly lovemaking sessions, “but there’s nothing going on if you get my meaning.”
“Possibly, in some alternate universe,” Kate allowed, “but here, in this one… Huh?”
She spelled it out to Kate. “Okay, Chris’s a hell of a lover, but you and I know that being a fantastic lover doesn’t add up to ‘forever.’”
Kate clearly wasn’t about to dismiss the man that quickly. “It could, given other attributes.”
But Jewel remained firm in her convictions. “I’m not going to set myself up for a fall, Kate. You and Nikki might have lucked out, but there’s only so much luck out there to be had.”
“It’s not luck and you know it,” Kate insisted. “A relationship—any relationship—takes hard work and determination and a real willingness to compromise. A lot,” she underscored.
“All true,” Jewel allowed, but she had a different perspective on the matter, one she’d learned from her long, tedious hours of surveillance. “However, all those heart-broken, cheated-on spouses who hire me, they thought they all had that extra-special relationship, too—until they suddenly had the rug pulled out from under them and landed hard on their bruised hearts.”
“Then tack the rug down,” Kate advised matter-of-factly. She reached across the table, putting her hand on top of Jewel’s. “At the very least, Jewel, don’t declare whatever it is that the two of you have going on dead while it’s still got a breath of life left within it. I’d hate to see you miss out on something wonderful because you’re afraid.”
“I’m not afraid,” Jewel protested with feeling.
Kate’s pager went off. She glanced down at the number on the tiny LCD screen. The moment she did, she rose to her feet. “Looks like I’m out of time, Jewel. They want me in court. Think about what I said,” she requested with feeling. “Oh, by the way, the coffees are paid for,” she tossed over her should
er a second before she hurried out the door. “I am not afraid,” Jewel repeated with more feeling, saying the words to her friend’s retreating back.
But she knew she was.
Chapter Fourteen
This definitely was not the reaction she’d expected.
Having moved heaven and three-quarters of the earth, reaching out to people she hadn’t been in contact with for some time now—in some cases several years—Jewel had finally managed to pinpoint the location of Joel’s father. Ray Johnson was currently living in Las Vegas under an assumed name and doubling as a dealer/bouncer at one of the lesser-known casinos.
She was fairly proud of herself for being able to track the man down by using the thumbprint on his California driver’s license. He’d allowed that license to expire, but on a hunch she’d put the thumbprint into the system and run it through a number of different databases. While nothing came up in either the military service database or the one that listed felons across the country, a match kicked out in the database that kept prints on hand for everyone employed by the gaming industry in Nevada.
She’d remembered thinking that it was lucky for them that working at a casino required having your fingerprints taken.
Now it didn’t seem to matter.
“What do you mean, forget it?” she asked Chris incredulously.
“Just that, forget it,” he repeated. Thinking she might be afraid that he was going to renege on their initial arrangement, he added, “I’ll pay you for your time and any extra expenses you might have incurred trying to locate Ray.”
This really didn’t make any sense to her. She remembered how eager he had been to get out from under the responsibility of caring for his nephew. “So you don’t want me going to Las Vegas to bring this guy back?”
“No.”
Even if he’d changed his mind about the responsibility portion, he knew that it was only right to let the man know what had happened. “I thought we already had this conversation,” she said, addressing his back as he paced about the room.
It was late. Verifying her information had taken a while and she’d arrived here only in time to say goodnight to Joel. Consequently, bedtime had been stretched to the limit, but eventually, Joel fell asleep. And then she had dropped her bombshell.
“We did,” he agreed.
She caught his hand to keep him from continuing to pace. It was like talking to a moving target at a shooting gallery. “And the outcome,” she reminded Chris, “was that you agreed that I should keep on looking for Ray.”
“That was when I didn’t think you would find him,” he confessed. He shouldn’t have underestimated her. “Now that you have…” His voice trailed off for a moment, then he continued with conviction. “I don’t think it’s in Joel’s best interest to have his father back in his life. Ray was short-tempered, argumentative and I’d call him dumb as a post, except I’d be insulting posts everywhere. If Joel goes to live with him, I guarantee that the boy will be put down every day of his life. He’s already smarter than his father ever was and Ray doesn’t like to feel inferior.”
She stared at him, confused. “If you felt that way, why did you start this? Why did you have me even looking for the man?”
“Because I didn’t think it through,” he answered honestly, then owned up to something even more unflattering. “Because I was just thinking of myself. I wanted to get back to my life, to the way things were. Except that’s not enough for me anymore,” he admitted. “I like coming home and hearing Joel tell me about his day. It gives a whole new meaning to everything. I can nurture him,” he said with feeling. “Ray, or whatever he’s calling himself these days, can’t. Won’t,” he underscored.
She held her hands up to stop him from saying any more. “Hey, you’re preaching to the choir here.”
He was relieved to hear that. “Then we can just forget about this?”
Surprise shot through him when he saw her solemnly shake her head. “No.”
He didn’t understand why she was refusing his request. “But I thought you said you agreed with me.”
“I do, but that doesn’t mean that you can just forget about Ray—who, by the way, now goes by Dennis Carter,” she interjected. “Because if we don’t get a signed document from the man, saying he relinquishes all parental rights to Joel, the lovely world you’re projecting in your head runs the very real risk of blowing up at any given moment—without warning.”
She’d grabbed his attention right at the beginning. “A signed document?”
Jewel nodded. Tired from her long day, she sank down on the sofa. “That’s what I said.”
He was silent for a long moment, turning the matter over in his head. “Do you think Ray’ll agree?” he finally asked.
She thought they had a very good shot at it. “From everything you’ve told me about the man, I think it’s a safe bet. He sounds like a selfish jerk and it really bothered me that you were willing to just hand Joel over.”
“Well, I’m not anymore,” he emphasized. Rather than sit down next to her, he perched on the sofa’s arm, restless. “But what if he doesn’t sign away his rights? What if he decides, for whatever strange reason, to give fatherhood another shot? By going to him, we’ll be letting him know where to find Joel.”
She tried to assuage Chris’s fears by using his own arguments on him. “As you said the other night, if he had been interested in getting back in touch with Joel, he would have tried to reach out to him at some point. An official document filed with the court will buy you peace of mind. I can have one of my friends—she’s a family lawyer and, coincidentally, Theresa’s daughter,” Jewel interjected, “draw up the proper legal papers for you. We can be on the road tomorrow if you like.”
He laughed shortly. “What I’d like,” he told her, “would be to never have started this in the first place.” He played the words back in his head and realized what was wrong with that path. “But, then, I wouldn’t have met you, would I?”
Her smile was soft.
Jewel hadn’t changed her mind about the situation. She knew what they had was only temporary, but she could certainly cherish it for all she was worth while it lasted.
“No,” she agreed, “you wouldn’t have.”
Never one to count chickens before they had not only hatched but had also shed their downy fuzz and grown feathers, he still allowed himself a moment.
“I guess having to see Ray again is worth it.” His eyes drifted over her, taking possession. “Especially considering what I got in the bargain.” He laced his fingers through hers. “You said you think we can be on our way tomorrow?”
She nodded. “Just as soon as I have Kate draw up those papers for Ray to sign.”
Chris had to admit, if only silently to himself, that he felt a little uneasy about getting in contact with Ray. The man might just decide to retain custody out of spite. But he knew that Jewel was right. This had to be done.
“Do it,” he told her. “Get the necessary papers drawn up.”
He sounded as if he were steeling himself off, she thought. “You know, if you’d rather not have to deal with this character, I can go to Vegas as your representative. There’s no need to put yourself through this if you don’t want to.”
But Chris was already shaking his head, turning down her offer before she finished.
“No. I need to see him, to make sure he understands that if he does take Joel, I’ll be all over his Neanderthal hide if he so much as causes that boy a single moment of unhappiness.”
She wondered if he knew how heroic he sounded, making himself Joel’s champion.
“Road trip it is,” she agreed. “I’ll be back here with the papers tomorrow morning,” she promised.
He missed her already and she hadn’t even walked down his driveway yet. It amazed him how much his life had changed in such a very short span of time. How much it had changed and how much that didn’t seem to bother him.
He supposed that you never stopped learning.
&
nbsp; “Jewel,” he called after her. When she turned around in response, he’d already caught up to her. “One for the road,” he said in answer to her quizzical look. And then he kissed her.
Jewel was not alone the next morning when she came to pick Chris up. Her mother was sitting in the passenger seat beside her, opting to go in Jewel’s car rather than taking the sky-blue-and-white MINI Cooper she loved so dearly.
There could only be one reason for that, Jewel thought. More talk time this way.
She’d called her mother early this morning, asking if she was up to babysitting Joel for the day. Her mother was giving her an enthusiastic “yes” before she even finished the question.
Jewel had hardly backtracked out of her mother’s driveway before she started having second thoughts about her impulsive decision. Maybe she should have asked Theresa or Maizie to babysit instead. Cut from the very same fabric as her mother, the two other women at least held themselves in check around her. Not because they weren’t each hopelessly enamored with the happily-ever-after scenario they’d all bought into, but because they tried not to come on too strong with someone who wasn’t their actual daughter. She knew that neither Theresa or Maizie would be sitting beside her, wearing a smile so smug that it was off the charts. “Isn’t Chris everything I said he was?” Cecilia asked, like someone who already had the answer.
“You didn’t say anything, Mom,” Jewel reminded her tersely. “I should have known better.”
“But he’s everything I ever wanted for you,” Cecilia said with a heartfelt sigh. “Tall, dark and handsome with an intellect that’s every bit as impressive as his biceps.”
Jewel eased her foot onto the brake at a light that was still yellow in order to look at her mother. “Just when did you see his biceps?” she wanted to know.
In response, Cecilia merely gave her a mysterious smile that would have been the envy of the Mona Lisa. “You don’t expect me to give away all my secrets, do you, darling?”
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