by Jill Shalvis
Jean McKendry gave Laura a steady glance. ‘Och, hen, do you know what you’re doing here?’
‘I think I do.’
Laura was making herself indispensable, that was what she was doing. Jason was going to be very grateful but it wasn’t his appreciation Laura sought. This was the first opportunity she’d ever had to spend time alone with him. Well…almost alone. If they had even a few hours together Jason might realise there was more to her than appearances suggested. And if that was too much to hope for, she would at least be able to give herself a lesson in distinguishing fantasy from reality and then move on with her life. It wasn’t just the first opportunity. It was quite likely to be her only opportunity, and Laura had no intention of letting it slip through her fingers.
‘Yes,’ she said quietly. ‘I’m sure I know what I’m doing.’
Disconcertingly, Laura had the impression that Mrs McKendry knew precisely what she had been thinking but if that was the case, she was being granted permission to carry on.
‘If you run into real problems, call me,’ the older woman said. ‘And if the mother hasn’t come back by the time you’re both on duty again, I’ll help during work hours.’
Green Watch had just completed two days and two nights on duty. It would be four days before the next day shift. Was there really a chance that Laura could have that much time alone with Jason and his daughter?
‘Heavens, I’m sure the mother will be back long before then. Nobody could just leave their baby with a virtual stranger for that long.’ Laura blinked at Mrs McKendry. ‘Could they?’ Her jaw dropped a fraction. ‘You know something about this that you’re not saying, don’t you, Mrs Mack?’
‘Let’s just say that the bairn was no’ on the doorstep for as long as I made out.’
‘You saw her?’ Laura breathed. ‘You saw the mother leaving the box?’
‘Not precisely.’ Mrs McKendry lowered her voice. ‘I saw a man leaving the box. Then he got back in the car and kissed a woman with long, blonde hair. Rather more thoroughly than the occasion called for, in my opinion. They drove off, laughing.’ Her eyes narrowed in disgust. ‘She didn’t look back. No’ even once.’
‘Did you get the number of the car?’
‘No.’
Laura found it unlikely that such a detail would have escaped those sharp grey eyes but the implications were not escaping either of them. If the mother had callously abandoned her almost newborn baby and gone off with her lover, laughing, then it was highly unlikely they would be back in a hurry.
If at all.
A mix of emotion washed over Laura. Excitement. Hope. And a good dose of nervousness. This was her chance and she’d better be very careful not to screw it up.
‘Why didn’t you say something before?’
‘I think Jason will have more than enough to cope with, thinking he’s looking after his bairn on a very temporary basis. What do you think he would do if he thought there was any chance it was intended to be a more permanent arrangement?’
He’d run screaming into the middle distance, that was what. He’d call the police or Social Welfare and do whatever it took to sidestep the responsibility. Informing the authorities was actually quite likely to be exactly what they should be doing at this point and Mrs Mack knew that as well as Laura did. So why was she doing this? To teach Jason Halliday a life lesson, perhaps? Or could she also see it as the opportunity Laura might otherwise never have had?
Jean McKendry smiled at her and Laura had her answer. She dropped her gaze to the baby in her arms, suddenly embarrassed that anyone could have guessed what she thought had been an increasingly well-guarded secret.
‘Just remember, hen,’ the housekeeper said softly. ‘You’re helping, no’ taking over. You’re no’ this baby’s mother, you know.’ The pause seemed deliberate. ‘You’re no’ Jason Halliday’s mother either.’
‘I’ll remember,’ Laura promised.
‘If you turn yourself into a doormat you have only yourself to blame when people start wiping their feet all over you.’
Laura’s swift glance was startled. Mrs McKendry was a fine one to talk about not mothering people. It was precisely the relationship this widow had with a great many men. Laura swallowed. Maybe that was why she did know what she was talking about. Had Mrs McKendry’s marriage been as empty and unfulfilling as the relationship she herself would have had if she’d stayed with John?
The twinkle in Mrs McKendry’s eyes seemed to be wishing her luck. ‘Jason’s got very big feet, hasn’t he?’
Laura grinned. ‘I’ll make sure there’s a very big doormat…outside the house.’
‘You do that, hen.’
‘What’s Laura going to do?’ Jason must have been splashing water on his face. Damp tendrils of blond-streaked curls clung to his forehead. Had he been hoping to wake himself up from a bad dream, perhaps?
‘She’s going to make a list of what you need to buy on the way home,’ Mrs McKendry said brightly.
‘A large bottle of gin?’ But Jason’s attempt at humour was half-hearted.
‘Nappies,’ he was informed sternly. ‘And formula and some more clothes. And something for that bairn to sleep in.’
‘Can’t we just take the box home?’
Jason seemed to have aged ten years in the last hour but Laura could see through the faint edge of despair he was trying to cover with humour. He wasn’t about to run away, no matter how unwelcome this situation was. In the face of total unwillingness and ignorance he was prepared to do what he had to do, and Laura loved him even more for the courage he was unwittingly displaying.
‘Don’t worry.’ Laura stood up, holding a now sleeping infant. ‘There’s a baby’s car seat in the ambulance storeroom. We’ll borrow that for the day and Megan can sleep in it. There’s enough formula and nappies to last until tomorrow and who knows?’ Laura avoided looking at anyone but Jason. ‘Maybe Shelley will be back by then.’
A ray of hope shone from Jason’s smile. ‘Shall…shall I hold it, then, while you go and find the seat thing?’
Laura bit back a wry smile as she handed Jason his daughter. ‘She’s not an “it”, Jase. Her name is Megan.’
The bob of Jason’s Adam’s apple gave away his nervous swallow but, to his credit, he looked quite calm as he regarded the tiny peaceful face shrouded in blue polar fleece. He cleared his throat and spoke very softly.
‘Hi, Megan…I’m Jase.’ He cleared his throat again. ‘Your…um…dad, I guess.’
Laura hurried towards the storeroom, swallowing rather hard herself to clear the unexpected prickle of tears. She had been right to think that something fundamental in her life had changed the moment Mrs McKendry had demanded an explanation for the unprecedented delivery to the station. The axis of her world had tilted so sharply she was in free-fall right now.
It was scary because there was absolutely no way of knowing what condition she might be in when she found her feet again. But it was also exhilarating because what really mattered was that she wasn’t alone. Baby Megan and her father were both coming along for the ride, and Laura intended to make the most of every possible moment.
CHAPTER THREE
‘O H , WHAT a sweetie. How old is she?’
‘Four weeks.’
‘Look at those eyes!’ The sales assistant at Baby Warehouse glanced up and Laura could swear the eyelashes fluttered. ‘Just like Daddy’s.’
‘Yeah.’ Any flutter had been lost on Jason. With more than twenty-four hours’ practice, that trapped expression and tone was becoming almost normal.
‘So, how’s it going?’ The sales assistant smiled brightly at Jason and then glanced at Laura. Her tone oozed sympathy. ‘Incredibly tiring business, being new parents, isn’t it?’
Laura looked down at the small face peeping out from the blue polar fleece blanket. Of course, she looked enough of a wreck to induce sympathy. The short, snatched periods of sleep between the dauntingly unfamiliar and full-on occupation of caring for such a young b
aby would take it out of anybody. Add the stress of being with somebody who was struggling to contain the desire to bail out, a house that was a prime example of how horrible three males could make their living environment and absolutely no baby equipment to make the job any easier, and she was nearly ready to bail out herself.
It had been precisely that threat that had finally persuaded Jason to come to this large specialist retail establishment.
‘Either we get some gear or you’re on your own, Jason Halliday,’ she had said wearily that morning. Astonishingly, she had experienced only a muted tingle at the sight of Jason wearing nothing but a pair of ancient pyjama pants held loosely on his hips by a frayed cord. His bare, well-tanned chest had only a smattering of hair, the tips of which had been sunbleached to a pale gold. The shaft of desire had put up only a weak struggle against burgeoning resentment.
‘I am not going to bathe this baby in a kitchen sink with a dishcloth that looks like it needs a government health warning slapped on it,’ Laura had continued. ‘And where the hell did these dishes come from? We spent two hours last night getting this bench cleared.’ She’d known she’d sounded like a harpy or a nagging wife but she hadn’t cared. The enthusiasm to make herself totally indispensable and show Jason just what a wonderful personality she had was wearing off with alarming rapidity.
‘Just look at that!’ The plate in question held the remnants of a meal that must have been abandoned a very long time ago. ‘It’s got so much fur growing on it, it looks like road kill.’
Jason’s grin was very lopsided. ‘I found it under my bed,’ he admitted. ‘And I found the rest when I was clearing out Stick’s room so you had somewhere to sleep.’ He rubbed the back of his hand against an unshaven chin. ‘It’s OK. I’ll clean it all up.’
‘You sure will,’ Laura agreed. It was really quite easy to dismiss the faint rasping sound the chin rub had produced. The curiosity about what it would feel like to touch it herself was also fleeting enough to ignore. ‘And when you’ve finished, we’re going to find a baby shop. We need more formula, nappies, a bed, a bath and some toys.’
‘Toys? Whatever for? All it does is eat and sleep and yell. You don’t need toys for any of that. She’s probably got buckets of toys at home.’ Jason peered anxiously at Laura. ‘You can’t leave me. I wouldn’t last five minutes without you.’
‘You might if you actually learned how to change a nappy and hold a bottle instead of insisting that I do it.’
‘But you’re so good at it. You’re a born mother, Laura. Megan loves you already.’
‘Rubbish.’ But Laura couldn’t help the tiny glow of satisfaction seeping through the cracks of her exhaustion. She might have considered the term ‘a born mother’ a slur on her attractiveness before this, but even twenty-four hours had been enough to demonstrate the kind of qualities a mother needed. Confidence, compassion, patience, selflessness and a bucket of stamina. From now on she would consider the phrase a huge compliment.
‘Besides,’ Jason said persuasively, ‘it’s not going to be for much longer. If Shelley hasn’t turned up in another day or so, we’ll do something about it. Track her down and find out what’s going on.’
The reminder was enough. Another glance at Jason allowed desire a stronger foothold and this time it was mixed with something new. Sympathy. Not that she could afford to feel too sorry for Jason. An echo of Mrs McKendry’s warning sounded. Laura wasn’t going to be a doormat for anyone ever again. Not even Jason Halliday. If this opportunity was going to provide what she hoped, however, she needed it to last as long as possible, and in order for any of them to survive they needed the help that the proper gear could provide.
‘I don’t care if it is only for another day, Jase.’ Laura managed to sound pleasingly resolute. ‘We have to get supplies. You can always give them to Megan when she goes.’
Jason sighed. ‘Yeah. I guess I’m going to be in for paying some kind of child support. I suppose I could look on this like a down payment.’
‘That’s the spirit,’ Laura said dryly. ‘Don’t forget to keep the receipts.’
Jason’s face brightened. ‘There you go. I wouldn’t have thought of that. Thank goodness I’ve got you around to look out for me.’
‘Just do the dishes, Jase. I’ll see if Megan’s other suit is dry enough to wear yet.’
So, here they were. Standing in a shop that boasted aisles and aisles of brightly coloured baby supplies in an astonishing wealth of variety. Neither Jason nor Laura had known where to begin and their bemused scanning had made them an obvious target for a sales assistant. And who could blame the girl for assuming they were a family or even for pointing out how tired they looked?
She could blame the assistant for the fluttering eyelashes, though, Laura thought grimly. You couldn’t assume you were talking to the proud parents of a new baby and then justify flirting with the father.
‘So what is it you need today?’
‘Everything,’ Jason said glumly.
‘Sorry?’ The sales assistant blinked.
‘We only just got her,’ Jason explained. ‘Yesterday.’ He raised an eyebrow at Laura. ‘It was only yesterday, wasn’t it? Feels like for ever.’
She nodded, smiling. They had arrived at Jason’s house about eight a.m. Stick had already decamped, taking enough of his possessions to last a day or two. Laura had ducked home briefly later in the morning when Megan had been asleep to collect a few of her own necessities and then they had spent the rest of the day and the whole of a long night focussed on caring for the tiny person they had taken responsibility for.
Jason hadn’t left things entirely to Laura. He had learned to follow the instructions on the tin and mix up formula. He just backed off when it came to holding the bottle and the baby at the same time. Laura enjoyed the feeding more than anything, so she had to admit she hadn’t pushed the point. She didn’t enjoy the nappy changes much but Jason had a singular talent for being either justifiably asleep or mysteriously absent whenever that task became unavoidable. She had to give him credit for his attempt to help tidy, though. Venturing into Stick’s room to sleep would have been a far more memorable experience if Jason hadn’t ridden shotgun to change the sheets, collect dead laundry and kick some fairly questionable magazines further under the bed.
‘So she’s adopted?’ The sales assistant was not about to be thrown off her stride. ‘That’s so special! What have you called her?’
‘Her name’s Megan.’ Laura was amused by the glance she caught. Obviously it had to be her fault that she and her partner hadn’t been able to conceive a child of their own. One look at Jason had been enough to convince the assistant that there was nothing likely to be inadequate about his potency, or any method of delivery. Another approving glance provoked confusion, however.
‘But…how did you find a baby with eyes just like yours?’
‘We didn’t,’ Jason said shortly. ‘She found us. It’s a long story.’
‘Oh?’ The girl looked eager but then flushed at Jason’s hesitation. ‘Sorry. It’s none of my business, is it?’
‘No,’ Laura agreed blandly. ‘Let’s get on with this, shall we, Jase? I’d like to get home before Megan’s due for her next feed.’
The sales assistant was losing interest. Her glance told Laura that she was a nagging wife even if she wasn’t wearing a wedding ring. ‘Let me know if I can help,’ she said professionally. ‘The cots, bassinets, prams and so forth are on the other side of the clothing section. Toys and accessories are over there. What would you like to look at first?’
‘Clothes,’ Laura said promptly.
‘Toys,’ Jason said at the same time.
Five minutes later, Laura found herself standing alone in front of a bewildering selection of clothing items. Jason was getting further away by the moment with a now animated salesgirl introducing him to the delights of baby toys. Laura saw his face split into a wide grin as a brightly coloured jester popped out of a velvety, soft-toy box. His laugh
ter caused several heads to turn and prompted smiles from everyone. His companion’s giggle was also audible and Laura tried very hard but completely failed to suppress a stab of resentment. Jealousy, even.
Did that assistant love the sound of Jason’s laughter as much as she did? Did it start a delicious tingle that coalesced into something so much stronger as it knotted itself down low in her abdomen? Laura wanted to play as well. To elicit and share that laughter. So why was she holding onto an increasingly heavy baby who was starting to grizzle, trying to decide how few items of clothing it would be reasonable to purchase and whether to head for the bargain bins or the cute little outfits displayed on hangers or life-sized baby dolls like some boutique for midgets.
An older assistant appeared at her shoulder. ‘They get heavy, don’t they, dear? Even at this age.’ Megan stopped crying for a moment and stared at the new face. ‘Oh, what a poppet,’ the woman cooed. ‘She’s just gorgeous!’
Laura smiled, feeling absurdly as though the compliment had been personal.
‘Have you got a front pack? It’s an ideal way to carry baby without effort and still feel nice and close.’
‘No.’ Laura’s smile widened as a mental picture of Jason’s broad chest adorned with a canvas pouch that had tiny limbs protruding from it presented itself. A faint wash of colour heated her cheeks as she realised her imagination had conjured up a bare chest above pyjama pants that looked ready to disintegrate. She cleared her throat. ‘Sounds like a very good idea,’ she said hurriedly. ‘I need a few clothes first, though.’
‘Look at these.’ The woman pointed to a tiny stretchsuit, the yoke of which was adorned with hand-embroidered bumble bees. ‘Isn’t it darling? And it’s got all the matching accessories. Hat, matinée jacket, bootees.’
Laura heard another deep rumble of laughter that could only have come from Jason as she blinked at the price tag. Megan chose that moment to start a renewed protest and Laura could no longer ignore the odour wafting from folds of blue polar fleece. It wasn’t as if she was going to be paying for any of this, was it?