by Jill Shalvis
‘And Megan?’
‘She’s your daughter.’ Sharon turned her face away. ‘That’s up to you.’
‘We’ll do what we can to help you get back to England quickly,’ Jason promised her. ‘Will you help us sort all the official stuff that will be needed to make sure Megan’s allowed to stay with me?’
‘Sure.’ Sharon’s eyes closed again. ‘I need to sleep now. Come back tomorrow.’
Hand in hand, Jason and Laura walked through the quiet hospital corridors on their way back to the paediatric ward to see Megan again.
‘She’s going to be mine,’ Jason said in wonder. ‘Really mine.’
‘I’m so happy for you, Jase.’ It was hard to sound really happy, though, when part of her heart was breaking.
Jason must have caught something in her tone. ‘But it means that everything is going to be OK.’ Jason pulled Laura to a halt and turned her to face him. ‘For all of us.’ His face lit up as he caught hold of her other hand in his. ‘Will you marry me, Laura?’ His smile widened. ‘And be Megan’s real mother?’
For a long moment, Laura looked up at Jason, taking in every beloved feature. Then she let her breath out in a soft sigh.
‘No,’ she said softly. ‘I’m not going to marry you, Jason.’ Another piece of her heart cracked and she tried to pull her hands free, but Jason’s grip was far too strong.
The joy, along with some of the colour, faded from Jason’s face. ‘But…but why not? I love you, Laura. Megan loves you. I…I thought you loved us.’
‘I do. And what we have together is wonderful. It’s just not enough to base marriage on.’
‘But why not?’ Jason looked genuinely and totally bewildered. He was still holding Laura’s hands as he pulled her gently out of the way of a patient’s bed being wheeled along the corridor with attending medical staff. He leaned back against the wall and finally let go of Laura’s hands when the procession had passed. ‘I don’t understand,’ he said.
‘I’m not going to spend the rest of my life trying to earn your love,’ Laura told him gently. ‘I’ve been there and done that and I’m never going to do it again.’
‘But I do love you.’ Jason’s voice was loud enough to make one of the nurses following the bed down the corridor to turn and stare. Then she grinned and gave him a thumbs-up signal.
‘Not the same way I love you,’ Laura tried to explain. ‘And that’s what I need if I’m ever going to marry someone and spend the rest of my life with them.’
‘But…but I couldn’t love you any more than I do.’ Jason was trying to keep his voice down but the intensity of his words made it difficult. ‘I’ve finally found out what love really is,’ he said. ‘I’m in love with you, Laura. But I love you as well.’ He shook his head, frustrated that he couldn’t express himself clearly enough. ‘I can’t lose you,’ he added desperately. ‘I’ll never love anybody the way I love you. You’re…you’re my life now.’
‘Not really.’ Laura could feel tears gathering as she let Jason’s intensity and sincerity wash over her. It was so obviously real. She had known how genuine it was when she’d seen his face in the ambulance that morning. But was that love really for her? The way hers was for him? ‘I know you love me, Jase, but how much of how you feel is because I’m part of a package for you?’
‘What the hell is that supposed to mean?’
‘Megan,’ Laura responded simply. ‘You want a mother for Megan.’
‘No!’ Jason shook his head sharply. ‘Well…yes, but I would want to marry you anyway.’
‘Would you?’ Laura queried softly. ‘Are you sure about that, Jason?’
‘Of course I am.’
‘When you thought that Shelley-I mean Sharon-was going to take her away, you said yourself that Megan was the most important thing in your life. That she was what really mattered.’
‘But…’ Jason frowned ferociously as he tried to recall the conversation. Then his face cleared. ‘Of course I had to do what’s best for Megan, but part of why it was so important was to do with you. I knew if I lost her I might lose you, and that was a risk I didn’t want to take.’
A group of staff heading for supper in the canteen stopped the very private conversation, which was happening in rather a public place, long enough for Jason’s words to sink in. Long enough for a bubble of joy to form deep within Laura.
‘Why on earth did you think that, Jase?’
‘Because she was what brought you into my life. You loved her.’
‘But I loved you first.’
‘Really?’ Jason’s smile finally appeared again, just on one side. ‘You mean the guys were right? You offered to help me look after Peanut because you fancied me?’
Laura let the embarrassment of having been discussed in such a fashion pass. This was no moment for pride. ‘I fancied you the first moment I saw you,’ she admitted. ‘The first day I started at Inglewood station on Green Watch.’ She dipped her head shyly. ‘It did take a few weeks to fall in love with you, though.’
‘You were in love with me? And I didn’t know anything about it?’
‘Why would you? I didn’t really exist as far as you were concerned. Not enough to notice, anyway.’
‘I just didn’t know you.’ Jason looked embarrassed at the truth of Laura’s words. ‘I was blind, Laura. Immature. Is that why you won’t marry me?’
‘No.’
‘Why not, then?’
‘Because I can’t know whether you love me as much as I love you.’
‘I love you more,’ Jason declared.
Laura grinned at the confident tone. ‘How could you know that?’
‘There’s more to love. All I have going for me that isn’t totally shallow is that I’m Megan’s dad.’
‘And you thought that would be the reason I’d want to marry you?’
‘Why else?’
‘Because I love you, you bloody idiot,’ Laura said through her laughter. ‘The way I feel about you has nothing to do with Megan. I’d feel exactly the same if Megan didn’t exist.’
‘And that’s the way I feel about you.’
‘Prove it,’ Laura challenged.
‘OK.’ Jason took hold of Laura’s shoulders and lowered his head. He kissed her more thoroughly and more tenderly than she’d ever been kissed in her life. A wolf-whistle came from somewhere down the corridor and Jason finally let her go, his expression triumphant. ‘How was that?’
‘Fabulous.’ Laura felt the bubble of joy inside her explode into a tingling excitement that filled every cell in her body.
‘So will you believe that I love you…for just you? Will you marry me now?’
‘Yes.’ Laura laughed. ‘I’ll marry you, Jase. But I still need more proof.’
‘How long will that take?’
Laura’s laughter faded until she was simply smiling. ‘About a lifetime, I reckon.’
‘You’re on.’ Jason grinned. ‘I can manage that, no problem.’ He took a confident step forward, tugging on Laura’s hand. ‘Shall we go and see our baby now?’
‘In a minute.’ Laura tugged back on Jason’s hand and then stood on tiptoe. ‘I’d just like a bit more of that proof, first, if you don’t mind.’
‘Oh, I don’t mind a bit,’ Jason murmured. His next words were muffled as his lips touched hers. ‘We’ll take just as long as you need.’
Facing the Fire By Gail Barrett
Chapter 1
Jordan Wells lifted the old metal bucket out of the icy stream and set it beside her on the bank. Shivering, she rubbed her wet, chilled hands on her jeans to warm them. She’d forgotten how cold these Montana streams were. They were little more than glacial melt rushing down the mountains.
But the place was beautiful, she had to admit. Smiling, she glanced around the tiny clearing. Early-afternoon sunlight sifted through the Douglas fir trees, making the water sparkle. The clear stream raced over rocks and overturned pebbles while the pine boughs moaned above.
She inhaled the de
ep-forest air, that complex mix of ancient pines and earth, so unlike the cornfields and woods of Virginia. She’d loved this place once. Being here had filled her with peace, serenity. She’d felt protected from the world, sheltered in the tiny cabin with Cade.
She closed her eyes and, just for a moment, let the images swamp her. Cade’s hard face. His low, rough voice. That devastating grin.
The shocking thrills, the wild excitement she’d felt in his strong arms.
But that was before the fire season had started and the loneliness set in. The weeks apart. The endless waiting. Never knowing when he’d come back or how long he would stay.
Then the pleading. The desperation. That stark white hospital bed.
The shattering realization that he loved leaping out of airplanes more than he loved her. And always would.
She opened her eyes with a sigh. But that had happened years ago. That life was gone forever, like the innocent, trusting girl she’d once been.
And that was exactly why she’d come back here. To put that painful past to rest forever and prove she was over Cade. To sell the cabin she’d ignored for years and finally move on with her life. To marry Phil, a stable, steady man with a normal job who’d never rush off on wild adventures and leave her to suffer alone. Who’d waited far too patiently for too many months for her to accept his proposal.
And she would finally say yes to him. She’d be crazy not to. That man was everything she wanted.
She’d accept, all right. As soon as she cleaned out the cabin, she’d stop at the real estate agency in Missoula, sign the contract to sell this place and catch the next flight back East.
She rose and lifted the dented bucket. The thick bed of pine needles muffled her footsteps as she trudged up the narrow trail toward the house.
The wind gusted in the pine trees again and they creaked and wailed overhead. The tinge of wood smoke wafted past and Jordan paused. Had someone built a cabin nearby? She hadn’t noticed any new side roads or even tire tracks on the long drive in. Maybe a passing hiker had started a campfire despite the burning ban.
Then she caught the distant buzz of an airplane and her breath stalled. A DC3 jump ship. She’d recognize that sound anywhere. She’d heard that sad, wrenching drone every time Cade flew away.
Her heart pumping hard against her ribs, she set the bucket on the ground and looked up. A patch of blazing blue sky peeked through the thrashing pines.
Could there be a fire nearby? Fear crawled down her spine. How would she know? Her cell phone didn’t work out here so she couldn’t call to find out, and no one knew where she was. She listened intently, but the lonely sound drifted away.
She inhaled deeply, but only smelled fresh air and pine. She eased her breath back out. It was just her imagination. Old ghosts. The very memories she’d come here to banish.
She picked up the bucket and carted it into the cabin. Old ghosts or not, she’d better finish quickly and leave.
Cade McKenzie stood in the open doorway of the DC3 and sucked in the smell of burning pine. Below him, black, roiling smoke pierced by huge orange flames rose from the Montana forest and covered the earth with a threatening shadow.
Undaunted, he snapped down his face guard and narrowed his eyes. No matter how formidable the fire, he’d stop it. The steep hills and volatile winds only challenged him more. And he knew the eleven smokejumpers poised behind him felt the same.
The spotter, hanging partway out the door beside him, pulled in his head from the slipstream. “Hold into the wind,” he shouted over the roar of the rushing air. “And stay wide of the fire. It’s gusting bad down low.”
Cade nodded and returned his attention to the fire. They would jump near the heel and contain it first, then split up and secure the flanks. Despite the dry conditions, they could pinch off the head by late tomorrow-unless the wind changed direction and whipped the flames toward Granite Canyon.
His gaze shifted west toward the canyon bordered by a silver ridge. From the air, the dense pines hid the log cabin he knew was nestled beside the boulders. His old cabin, where he’d spent the most intoxicating months of his life-until Jordan decided she couldn’t handle living with a smokejumper and cleared out. A sharp stab of bitterness tightened his gut. Hell of a time to think of his ex-wife.
He forced the old anger aside. She’d raked him over good, all right, but he’d never see her again. She wouldn’t have kept the cabin after all these years. Still, he needed to make sure no one was in there in case the wind switched and the fire jumped the only road out.
“We’re on final.” The spotter scooted back and struck the side of the open door. His adrenaline rising, Cade moved forward into jump position. His jump partner, a rookie from a booster crew out of Boise, pressed in close behind him.
His muscles bunched, his gaze focused on the horizon, he waited for the spotter’s signal. An intense calm settled over him and his mind stilled.
And in that moment, he felt perfectly right. He was doing what he was born for, what he loved.
The spotter slapped his calf hard. His pulse jerked. He thrust himself out of the plane and into the roaring slipstream. And hurtled ninety miles an hour toward the fiery earth.
The wind rose again, swirling the orange flames high and pushing sparks and smoke over the line. Cade cut off his chain saw and lifted his arm to wipe the sweat dripping down his cheeks beneath his hard hat.
Something wasn’t right; he could feel it. But what? They’d secured the heel without problems and begun scratching a line up both flanks. But instead of feeling confident they would slay this dragon, unease slid through his gut. And he’d fought fires for too many years to ignore his instincts.
Unsettled, he strode to the pile of equipment and set down his saw, then pulled his canteen from his personal-gear bag. He drank deeply, letting the warm water soothe his parched throat.
“Hey, Cade.”
His smokejumping bro, Trey Campbell, strolled over. They’d rookied the same year out of Missoula and jumped together ever since. And after Jordan had deserted him, they’d spent more nights than he could remember frequenting Montana’s bars.
Trey rummaged in his own bag and pulled out his water. “Any word on this wind?” he asked.
“No, but it feels like it’s picking up.” He frowned back at the fire. Heavy brush and snags littered the forest floor, fueling the surging flames. The erratic wind kicked up sparks and slopped spot fires over the line.
He recapped his canteen, pulled out his radio and keyed the mike. “Dispatch, this is McKenzie.”
His radio crackled. “Go ahead, McKenzie.”
“Any idea what’s going on with this wind? It’s blowing the hell out of our line.”
Voices murmured in the background. “We’ll call the district for an update,” the dispatcher said. “We’ll get right back to you on that.”
“Thanks.” He stuffed the radio in the side pocket of his bag. “Do you mind taking over for awhile?” he asked Trey. “There’s a cabin by the rim of the canyon I need to check out, make sure there aren’t any people hanging around.” Like his ex-wife? His stomach tightened but he quickly discounted that thought. “They’re going to need a head start getting out of here if that wind shifts.”
“That your old cabin by any chance?”
“Yeah.” Which he’d surrendered to Jordan, along with any illusions he’d ever had about marriage. “After I swing by the cabin, I’ll recon the head again, too. When dispatch gets back with that wind report, we can decide where to build line tonight.”
“Got it.” Trey’s teeth flashed white in his soot-streaked face. He shoved his canteen into his personal-gear bag, picked up his chain saw, and loped back toward the line.
Cade took a final swallow of water, then stuffed his canteen in his own personal-gear bag. He moved a small notebook and compass to the side pocket with the radio, and secured the flap.
A sudden blur in his peripheral vision caught his attention and he glanced up. A blazing s
nag pitched silently forward, and his heart stopped.
A widow maker. A dead, burning tree that fell without warning, killing anyone in its path. And it was heading straight for their line.
“Watch out,” he shouted. “A snag!”
The men immediately scattered-except for one. His jump partner, the rookie. The kid looked up, then froze.
Oh, hell. Cade lunged to his feet and sprinted forward. The tree toppled closer and his adrenaline surged. With a final burst of speed, he barreled into the rookie and knocked him out of the way.
And was instantly slammed to the ground.
His breath fled as a massive weight crushed his back. He struggled to lift his face from the dirt, but branches covered his head.
He couldn’t see. He couldn’t breathe. Where was the rookie? He tried to shout, but couldn’t move his mouth.
He shoved against the ground but the branches trapped him. Heat blazed up his back and his adrenaline rose. He pushed again, his efforts futile against the punishing weight.
“Cade! Are you okay? Oh, God. Get him out!”
“We need saws in here,” someone else yelled over the roar. “Hurry up!”
Cade’s eyes burned. He choked down hot smoke and coughed. Heat crawled up his neck and he gasped for breath.
Chain saws wailed and men shouted. The weight shifted slightly and the branches thrashed above him. Then suddenly, they were gone.
He lifted his head and sucked in air. Work boots stood inches from his face, along with green Nomex pants.
“Oh, man,” the rookie said, his voice trembling. “Are you okay?”
“Don’t touch him.” Trey crouched beside him. “Speak to me, buddy.”
“I’m fine,” Cade managed.
“Are you sure?” the rookie asked. “Man, that was close.”
“Damn close,” Trey said. “He’s lucky the trunk missed him. If he’d been one second slower…”
But he’d escaped, and so had the rookie. “Thanks, guys.” He struggled to push himself upright. Pain knifed his shoulder and he hitched in a ragged breath.
“Hold on. We’ll help you up,” Trey said.