by Ivy Asher
The guys and I came up with this game plan last night. With Tok and Marn seeming to struggle with the existence of my Chosen, we thought it best to let the dust settle a little bit before dropping the bomb that Grier’s Chosen were here too.
“Well, boys, strip down,” I instruct excitedly. “Marn will probably be back soon to see what’s taking so long. And a certain Sentinel I know let the cat out of the bag about shimmies and hair flips. Let’s see what you got!” I tell them, rubbing my hands together.
They look at me like I’ve lost it, utter confusion written all over their faces. Well, all except Valen, who cracks up laughing.
“You two have some weird inside jokes,” Siah observes, and then I crack up too.
I watch with greedy eyes and vagina, as my Chosen get dressed. Yep, they have to be magicked clothes, because each set of dark purple armor fits them like a glove. I’m tempted to say fuck this party and tackle each of them like a hungry velociraptor. The door swings open just as that thought enters my head, and Marn comes sweeping in, her lavender gown flowing around her legs.
Sabin gives a girly squeal. He’s still shirtless and covers his nipples with his hands playfully. Marn goes beet red when she realizes not everyone is dressed and backtracks out of the room like someone hit her rewind button. The exchange is so weird that as soon as the door snicks shut, we all lose it. I keep picturing Sabin’s wide-eyed surprise and squeak as he covers his chest, and the giggles run away with me.
“That’ll teach her to knock,” Bastien cackles, laugh tears dripping down his face, and it sets the whole room off again.
I think we laugh for about ten minutes straight before we pour out of the room, drunk on laughter. Marn stands demurely waiting for us at the top of the stairs, Tok at her side. I have to fight to keep the sight of her from sending me back down the slap happy rabbit hole. She reaches out for my hand, and I hesitate slightly before giving it to her.
“Are you ready to take your place amongst your people?” she asks me, an eager glint in her lilac gaze.
I take a deep breath and square my shoulders. I look back at my gorgeous Chosen, grateful for their presence and their ability to make me laugh and live in the moment. My gaze lands back on my grandmother’s, and I give her a smile.
“Let’s do it.”
23
“It was nice to meet you,” I call over my shoulder as Tok and Marn usher me away from the Sentinel they just introduced me to five minutes ago and point me in the direction of someone else they want me to meet.
“Vinna, this is Aern. Aern, this is Vinna of the First,” Marn recites politely, and then she does what she’s been doing all night, she watches us expectantly as we say our hellos and dive into the small talk.
I feel like I’ve spent the last two hours in a speed dating round of meet-and-greets. I’m introduced to someone, watched like I’m going to do something crazy, and then pulled away from them before I can even discover anything interesting about them. I’m trying to go with the flow for the sake of my newly discovered grandparents, but it’s starting to wear on me.
“Aern owns some of the finest stables in Tierit,” Tok tells me, and my face lights up. Finally, a topic I know a little about.
“Oh really? That’s cool. Sabin has a couple of horses. He just started to teach me how to ride. Horses are incredible,” I remark politely.
“Who is Sabin?” Marn asks, and my eyes widen in surprise.
“One of my Chosen,” I remind her.
“Ah yes. Well, Aern breeds the finest riding animals I would venture to say in this world,” Marn shifts, patting Aern’s arm affectionately.
The Sentinel says something I don’t hear to Tok, and they’re quickly wrapped up in a conversation I have no context for and could never hope to follow. I stand there and start to count down until it’s time to be introduced to someone else. I scan the crowd for my Chosen, knowing they’re close by. I spot them together, talking and scoping things out, their eyes wandering to me every minute or so.
I feel bad, they’ve got to be bored out of their mind. Tok and Marn seem to be playing interception with them tonight, and if the conversations I was being pulled into weren’t mind numbingly boring, it might bug me. At least they’re being saved from the mind-numbing political talk I don’t understand, riveting conversations around crop yields, or being ignored all together.
Right on time, I’m pulled away from Aern and introduced to Para. The female and I exchange pleasantries and then slip into awkward silence when I run out of shit to talk about with her.
“So, uh, are these parties normally like this?” I ask her, struggling to find any better small talk topics.
“Yes and no,” she responds and steps closer to me. “Sentinels of this rank only come out for the best of the best, and it’s exciting when we all get together like this.”
I try not to cringe at the word exciting. If this kind of shit is what licks her pickle, who am I to judge? A hand traces up the outside of my arm, and I step back to find Para tracing my runes.
“Your markings are quite extraordinary,” she tells me, and I work to keep a scowl off my face.
Maybe it’s not rude to touch other Sentinels’ runes here?
“So what do you do here?” I ask, dodging her comment.
“I’m a hunter.”
This piques my interest, and I smile. “What do you hunt?”
“Anything that’s in season. It’s all prey to me,” she purrs.
Marn pops back up, and I’ve never been so relieved to see her. I’m obviously missing something here with this Para chick, and I’m ready to move on. Marn politely excuses me, but as we pull away, Para catches my hand. She tries to pull me toward her, a determined look in her eyes. I tense, ready for some kind of attack. She leans in toward me, and I lean back.
“Um...what the hell are you doing?” I question.
“I, I was just going to kiss you,” she tells me, her voice raspy and her eyes filled with heat. I step back, confused.
“Why?” I ask awkwardly.
“To see if the sparks fly,” she replies, like that should somehow be obvious to me.
“I have Chosen,” I tell her, and I look across the ballroom, like I’m sending an SOS and need them to come rescue me from chicks who fuck up their signals.
Para follows my gaze and gives an incredulous snort. “You’re Vinna of the First now,” she tells me, stepping closer. “You have the world in your hands with a title like that, and all I know is I’d love to have my hands all over you.”
Para tries to push up against me. I step back, removing my hand from her grip. My forearm grazes her breasts as I pull away, and she gives an exaggerated moan that has me seriously judging her acting skills.
“Like I said, I have Chosen. I’m not interested.”
I move away, and Para reaches out for me again.
I turn back to her. “Touch me again, and you won’t like what happens to you,” I warn her.
She throws her hands up in surrender but blows me a kiss before she walks away.
Fucking hell.
I’m silently reeling over what just happened. When I look up to see who Marn and Tok are parading me in front of now, I’m taken aback to find Ory.
“Oh,” I chirp with recognition.
“Oh, yourself,” he parrots back.
“What are you doing here?” I ask as Tok and Marn dart away.
“I was invited,” he snarks.
I roll my eyes and scan the room for my Chosen again.
“So how’s your first First party going?” Ory asks me casually.
“Fucking sucks,” I confess and then slam my lips closed. “Shit, don’t tell Tok and Marn I said that. I don’t want to hurt their feelings.”
Ory scrutinizes me with his bright purple gaze for a moment. He dips his chin and then starts to scan the room like he’s looking for someone cooler to talk to.
“So you light up for anyone yet?” Ory asks me, and my brow dips in confusion.
“Um no, am I supposed to be?”
He gets a mischievous grin on his face and shakes his head at me.
Fuck. How long have I been standing here? How much more time do I have to put up with this dude?
“They’ll give you more time with me,” Ory tells me cryptically.
“Who will?”
“Your Marn and Tok. They will give you more time with me because our match would be the most beneficial to them.”
Whatever I was about to say falls silently out of my open mouth. I just stare at him, replaying his words in my head.
“I have Chosen,” I answer simply, trying and failing to not feel bewildered.
Ory shrugs again. “I didn’t say I was interested, I just explained why they would give you more time with me.”
Irritation simmers in me, but for the first time since I met Ory, it’s not for him. I release a deep sigh and shake my head. All the Grier talk focused around her place and that she was the next in line. Their dismissal of my Chosen. Fuck, they get my name wrong a quarter of the time. They want me to pick up where Grier left off. I sigh.
“So are they thinking they can convince me to ditch my Chosen and choose new ones? That’s a thing here, isn’t it? Or are they hoping that I’ll just add a few advantageous matches for the fun of it?” I ask him flatly.
“From the looks of things, they’re just waiting to see if you’ll spark up for someone,” he tells me, and suddenly their eager looks and hawk-like observation make sense.
“I’m so dumb,” I confess. “It was all there, right in front of my face, and I just didn’t see it.”
I growl internally at myself.
“They’re ambitious; there are worse things out there,” Ory observes dismissively.
I shake my head and try to push down my frustration and anger. “They’re my Chosen,” I snap at him. “I love them. Tok and Marn can’t just dismiss that or them like it’s nothing. Not when they’re everything to me.”
“They’re doing what they think is best,” Ory tells me, and I bristle.
When are people who don’t know me going to stop thinking they know what’s best for me?
“Despite what they think, I’m not Grier,” I tell him. “Maybe she wanted this life, but I don’t.”
“It’s in your blood; you may not have much choice in the matter.”
“There’s always a choice,” I counter. “Besides, you wanted to kill me a week ago, but now you’re going to wax poetic about my destiny and place here? That makes zero fucking sense.”
“I was ordered to kill you; there was nothing personal about it,” he corrects, still scanning the crowd over my head.
“Riiight,” I drawl. “Well, I wish I could say this was fun, but it wasn’t. I’d say have a good night, but I really don’t hope you will. Nothing personal,” I quip with an amused smile and step away from him.
Ory chuckles as I turn around and walk away from him in search of my Chosen. I’m officially done with this night. I maneuver my way through the crowded ballroom, ignoring invitations to stop and talk with people I’ve already met throughout the night. I approach my guys and give them a huge smile.
“Let’s get the fuck out of here,” I tell them.
“Finally,” Bastien states with a relieved sigh.
Knox’s “it’s about time” makes me chuckle.
And Torrez’s “thank fuck” has me raising a hand as if to say preach.
“You okay?” Ryker asks me.
We move as a group away from the party, and I intertwine my fingers with his. “I don’t know,” I admit. “I’m irritated. I’m tired. And I’m not sure what to do about all of this,” I tell him, gesturing to the ballroom full of Sentinels at our back.
“It’s been a long day. Let’s leave it for tomorrow to sort out,” he says. I nod and give him a quick peck as we head in the direction of the stairs.
“Vinna,” Marn shouts behind me, her footsteps quickly approaching us from behind, and Tok and Marn cut us off. They’re both flustered and sputtering.
“Where are you going?” Marn finally manages to string together.
“To our rooms,” I state simply and move to go around them.
Tok steps in my way. “Ory is the Commander of Arms and a member of the First House. It’s rude to just walk away from him,” he scolds me.
I cringe. Does that make us related somehow? I shake off the thought and focus on Tok and Marn. I don’t think they’re bad people, but I’m also not cool with what’s going down.
“I suppose it’s rude, but honestly, I don’t care and neither does Ory. Setting me up to potentially light up for other people I don’t know is considered rude in some circles of the world too,” I point out, making it clear I’m onto them.
Tok stutters for something to say. “Gri—Vinna, we—”
“Save it,” I declare, cutting him off. “I’m sure you are used to doing things a certain way, and I have a lot to learn about you and this place, but I have Chosen, and I have a mind of my own. I’m not going to just pick up where you left off with Grier’s life,” I tell them, my voice kind but firm.
“How can you say that?” Marn demands, stepping toward me. “You were born for this. To be here. To lead them!”
“No, I wasn’t,” I tell her simply.
“You’re just going to walk away from your birthright? Let your people continue to be led by corruption and fear?”
“This wasn’t my birthright, it was Grier’s. You need to see that. I know you miss her, and this feels like a second chance to recover all that you’ve lost, but it’s not. I’m Vinna. This is your first chance with me.”
Tok and Marn pause, their eyes filling with grief. My own eyes well up in response, my soul called to hurt simply because they are. I take a breath and rub at my chest. I look up the stairs in the direction of the wing we’re supposed to be staying in, and I feel lost. It doesn’t feel like home, like where I’m supposed to be.
“I can’t stay here,” I admit quietly.
I’ve been trying so hard to go with the flow and be what they needed, but this isn’t going to work unless I can be who I am and they can accept me for that.
“But we’re your family, this is where you should be,” Marn argues, swiping tears from her cheeks.
“We don’t even know each other,” I point out.
“That will take time though, Vinna,” Tok tells me.
“You’re right, but it will also take effort too,” I tell them. I gesture to my Chosen. “Can you tell me their names?”
Tok stares at me, confused for a second, and then looks around me to where my guys all stand. They all give a friendly wave, which makes me smile. The smile fades as I watch Tok struggle to answer me.
“So here’s the thing. It’s been a couple of crazy days, and I think we need to start over. I’ll get to know you, and you’ll get to know me. We can just take it one day at a time and see where it leads us,” I tell them with a sympathetic smile, and then I let it fade from my face so I can hammer my next point home.
“With that said, I’m going to say this next part once, and if you want to have any kind of relationship with me, you will etch every word into your soul,” I state, locking eyes with Marn and Tok in turn.
“These are my Chosen. I am theirs and they are mine. Nothing will push me further away than disrespecting or disregarding the people that I love, and I love these males more than anything in existence. If you ever try to set me up in any kind of way that disrespects my bond with these males, you and I will be through. That’s a deal breaker for me. Do you understand?”
The room grows quiet for a minute, and I wait to see if they get it, because if they don’t, there’s no hope from here on out that we’ll ever be anything to each other.
“We’re sorry,” Marn offers me after a couple beats, and she sounds so broken that it kills me. I pull away from Ryker and step to give her a hug.
“I know this is hard. How are any of us supposed to know how t
o navigate this shit?” I tell her, and she gives me a watery laugh. I look at Tok over Marn’s head. “We’ll fuck it up, and that’s fine. As long as it’s not a deal breaker, we’ll figure out how to make it better. It’s going to take all of us being honest and really trying.”
“Wise words,” Tok tells me warmly, and he swipes at a tear that sneaks down his face.
“I’ll check in with you guys tomorrow, and then we can start operation figure all this shit out together.”
Marn nods and gives me another squeeze before she pulls away. I open my arms to Tok, and he wraps me up in an epic bear hug that could rival one of Aydin’s.
“We’ll see you tomorrow, Vinna,” Tok assures me, and I give him a big smile.
“Tomorrow,” I agree, and then my Chosen and I leave.
We step out into a cool starlit night, and I feel both relieved and sad at the same time.
“I’m sorry, Squeaks,” Ryker offers, and as soon as we’re out of the gates, I take a moment to find the home I always feel in his arms.
“I kept telling myself that they were nice and to just appreciate that they didn’t hate me on sight. I mean, things could have been worse. But what the fuck were they thinking?” I ask no one in particular.
“I think they just had high hopes for your mom,” Valen offers.
“They’ve been grieving her and the loss of what they wanted her to become this whole time,” Bastien adds.
“Then you show up, and they go into overdrive trying to push it all in your lap,” Knox finishes.
“They didn’t even talk to you guys,” I lament.
“I think they will, though,” Siah offers. “Their hearts seem like they’re in the right place, and after what you just said in there, I think you guys will be able to figure it out.”
I tilt my head up and pucker my lips. Siah grins and leans down to give me a soft sweet kiss.
“Then they’ll learn that you all are the best fucking males in this whole place and that I’d be fucked in all the worst ways without you!”
I shout that to the empty fairy light lit streets, and it bounces back to me on a fading echo. My words reverberate around me, and I suddenly feel like they just slapped me across the face.