by Bryan Mosier
“Stumble bums?”
“Yeah, stumble bums… you know, the zombies?”
“I getwhat you’re talking about but why stumble bums, I’ve never heard them called that before”
“Oh, well the way we figure it is they walk around stumbling like a bunch of drunken bums and they smell pretty bad too so we just decided to call’emstumble bums.”
“Oh, okay, I guess I can get behind that?” says Alex, getting a nod of agreement from the other boys.
Suddenly, in the back corner of the room comes a loud noise as a bunch of long handled shovels and rakes fall to the floor in a loud clatter. “Oh shit, it’s a zomb…erstumble bum” yells Bryan. Quick grab a weapon before…” but before he can finish his thought he sees a third female come crawling out of the corner, having been hidden behind several stacks of dog food and animal feed. Watching as the new girl emerges from the darkness, the boys are struck by the contrast of attire. As the tall, petite framed girl, seemingly similar in age to Darla and Carla, emerges from the shadows Justin visibly becomes more anxious. With her long straight shoulder length blond hair and dressed in knee length high heeled boots, form fitting jeans and a petal pink spaghetti strap Hello Kitty shirt she is the picture of teenage femininity. Walking towards the group it is obvious to everyone present the very confused look on her face.
Är det säkert att komma ut ännu ? Vad händer , som är dessa pojkar ?
“Oh crap, we forgot about Helga” says Carla
“Helga?” asks Justin.
“Helga, she’s a foreign exchange student that mom and dad took in this year. She’s from Germany…I think. She was traveling with us…to see the country or something”
“Uh, high there Helga, um uh, welcome to…” begins Justin but he is interrupted by Darla who quickly explains“Don’t bother, she doesn’t speak a lick of English.” Eyeing Justin and giving him a flirtatious smile, Helga says“Hej . Mitt namn är Helga . Vem är du? "
Not having a clue what she said and, being the socially awkward nerd that he is, unable to pick up on any cues in voice toneor body language, Justin replies“Um, uh, yeah I mean we are like totally cool you know and we umwe…we mean you no harm.”
" Du är en stor stark amerikansk och titta på det förtjusande hals skägg ".
she says as her eyes play over his large frame.
Not knowing what to say and not wanting to be rude Justin simply replies“Why yes, yes it is starting to get late”
With that notion, Alex is startled back tothe realization that Brandon is not with them.“Where is my little brother!Where’s Brandon” he yells at the girls.
“Oh, the little one, I haven’t seen him since we brought you back here. Hey wait a minute, where’s Mel? She was supposed to be watching Helga.”
“Who’s Mel?“
“Our little sister. She’s twelve. And, well, um…she ain’t…right.”
With a collective look of dread, the group rushes out through the large double doors leading back to the main floor of the store. Not having been part of the conversation, Helga is left alone in the room, not knowing whether she should go with them or wait here, as seems to be her usual instructions. As the group scours the last place that Alex had seen Brandon they hear the faint sound of people talking a few aisles over. When the group turns the corner they are frozen, dumbfounded at what they see. Amid the chaos of broken sinks, sliced banners and scattered bathroom fixtures, they see, sitting on the ruins of a broken commode, Brandon who appears to be examining a sword similar to his own as a young girl sits cross leggedon the floor testing the edge of Brandon’s katana. Melody, with her wild mane of orange hair radiating in the fluorescent glow, her freckles and green eyes revealing a strong familial resemblance to Darla and Carla, has a distinctively different demeanor to her as expressed in the seemingly unkempt styling of her hair and unusual fashion sense. Unlike Darla’s neatly braided pony tail or Carla’s mound of perfectly coiled locks, Melody’s hair is more reminiscent of a spool of copper wire that has become horribly tangled. Wearing a bowtie around her neck and a garish, multicolored knit scarf loosely flowing over a tattered and faded green army jacket several sizes too big for her diminutive frame, she is the image of gutter punk fashion. The entire ensemble is completed by a frilled black skirt over black leggings and to finish off the look, shiny knee high platform boots with buckles running up to her knees.
“Hngh, not so much as a single chip in the edge” says Melody,“that’s some pretty good steel you got there.”
“Yours ain’t so bad either” says Brandon as he holds the sword up to eye level, looking down the blade to check for straightness. “Where’d you say you got this?”
“It was one that my papaw brought back from the war. He said that one of the Japanese soldiers gave it to him after they surrendered but I think he was just saying that because he didn’t want to tell me that he killed a man and took his sword from his cold, dead hand.”
“He must’ve took pretty good care of it. It’s in real nice shape to be that old.”
“Yeah, he always had it stowed away in his attic. He didn’t want me to play with it but I’d sneak up there and get it.”
“You’d play with the sword in the attic. What’d you do with it?”
“Well, whenever Barbie dishonored the family with her fornicating life style she would sometimes have to, you know, pay for her lascivious behavior.”
“Oh yeah, my He-Man’s had the same problem, but it was more for cowardice on the battlefield. Such a disgrace.”
“Um, is everything okayhere”, asks Darla, taking in the surreal image of the two adolescents discussing the ritual execution of their play things.
“Oh, heysis, what’s up. This is Brandon. He’s cool so I don’t think we’re going to have to kill him.”
“We weren’t gonnakill anybody you little psycho. We were just being…cautious.”
“Are you okay bub?”, asks Alex.
“Oh yeah, I’m great.”
With that an awkward silence falls over the group as everyone tries to take in the new group dynamic that is forming. Suddenly, a nerve shattering scream breaks the silence.
“What the hell, who is that…hey where is Helga” asks Melody.
“What the, oh crap we left her alone again.”
Crashing through the large double doors of the storage room the group rushes into the room with Brandon and Melody trailing behind. Looking around to find the source of the commotion they are struck with the horrific site of two stumble bums lurching forward through the room with Helga on the ground at their feet struggling to scramble away from them. Behind them they see the back door to the building standing open with more stumble bums trying to pry their way in, some already in the building and some stuck in the doorway as the mass of crazed, flesh starved bodies bottlenecks in the entrance.
“Quick, letsget…”starts Carla but she quickly realizes that in the rush to find their sister, they left their weapons lying on a pallet of fertilizer that is now on the other side of the room block by the two stumbling figures.
“Crap! They are going get her. We have to do something!” yells Justin.
“Hold up…we got this” comes a confident declaration from behind the group as they turn to see Brandon and Melody, swords drawn.
With a“Wooohooo!” Brandon runs forward, followed by Melody who gives her own battle cry of“ALONZIE!” What comes next can only be described as a ballet of brutality. With the grace and coordination of two performers that have spent years honing their skills and developing a rapport with one another, knowing what the other is thinking and anticipating their next move, the two youngsters bob and weave between their prey, severing limbs and dislodging rotting organs from their undead victims. Within moments all but one of the stumble bums are on the floor, having fallen victim to the onslaught of tween ferocity. As Brandon plants his foot on a stack of horse feed, pushing off into the air Melody slides underneath, skidding between the legs of the last stumble
bum bringing her sword up, slicing through its groin and abdomen as she passes through. Simultaneously, Brandon brings his blade down with full force through its left shoulder, their combined efforts essentially splitting the creature in half.
“I almost feel sorry for the zombie” says Bryan in a hushed voice.
“I told you she ain’t right” says Carla
“And you think he is?” says Alex in mutual concern for the state of these two youngsters obviously warped minds.
With the spectacle of gore and guts at an end, the hard concrete floor of the storage room now littered with the remains of the undead with blood and gray matter covering every surface. Rushing over to the door, Darla pulls it shut and bars it from the inside.
With a high five, Brandon and Melody take in their handiwork with Brandon expressing their mutual satisfaction with a“That’s how you get it done!”
“How the heckdid that door get open” yells Darla, looking at Helga accusingly.
Huddled on the floor, covered in the blood and gory remnants of the zombie that was just moments ago stalking her, Helga starts to sob uncontrollably. Getting to her feet she runs to Justin, wrapping her arms around him and burying her face in his chest.
“Jag var bara vill få lite frisk luft . “
Justin, with his arms still awkwardly at his side, conflicted between the thought of a pretty girl touching him and that same pretty girl being covered in a putrid soup of zombie juices. Stifling back his ever so weak gag reflex he calmly says “I think I saw some industrial detergent in the bathroom aisle”.
With a look of disgust, Melody gripes “There she goes cryin again. Having started two world wars, I thought her peoplewould be made of stronger stuff.”
“We better check the rest of the building to make sure that we don’t have any more unexpected visitors or breakdowns in security” says Darla. With that the two groups split up, girls going one direction and the boys going the other, with the exception of Melody and Brandon who decide to stand guard in the storage room in case they missed any strays lurking about amid the stacks of dog food, fertilizer and horse feed.
Chapter 11
As Carla, Darla and Helga make their way down one aisle after the next, being sure to check for any stumble bums that might be lurking about, it’s Darla who broaches the topic that they are both mulling in their head.
“So, what are we gonna do about these guys?”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, do you think we can trust them? I mean we don’t even know these guys. They could be total craze-o’s just waiting for a chance to jump us.”
“Jump us…you don’t think that they wouldtry to…?
“Not“JUMP US” I mean, you know, try to take us out and steal our stuff. Besides if they tried to JUMP US I’m pretty sureMel would cut off their dangly bits.”
“I don’t think so. They seem harmless. All that talk about being on a mission, they don’t seem like they get out much, yaknow.”
“Yeah, they do seem a little pathetic, don’t they. My guess is thatthey’re just like every other guy out there, well that was out there. All they wanna do is sit in front of their TV playing X-Box and play some stupid shoot’emup with people they don’t know and have never actually met.”
“I don’t know” says Darla,“Something about them…they seem different. I don’t know. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.”
Having found some paper towels to wipe off the rancid decay, Helga chimes in saying "Den stora, med luddigt hals skägg är så söt , som en stor gosig nallebjörn. Och dessutom , jag tror med sina lagt till nummer till vår grupp vi skulle få en mycket större nytta i form av arbetskraft effektivitet . Med fler människor att dela upp olika dagliga uppgifter att överleva i denna farliga nya värld befinner vi oss i att vi kommer att kunna öka våra egna odds för överlevnad markant ."
“You said it Helga, they’re just a bunch of hopeless losers” offers Darla.
“Yep, losers….kinda cute, adorable losersthough” adds Carla.
“Those chics are flippinnuts” declares Bryan as soon as they are out of ear shot of the girls. “First they sneak up on us and knock us the freak out, then they lock us in a pen like a bunch of stupid cattle and then they nearly electrocute your ass. They’re flippin nuts I tell ya.”
In a sheepish voice Justin adds“Helga seems nice, I mean when she isnot covered in zombie juice”.
“They don’t seem that bad”, says Alex,“Theywere just trying to protect themselves. I mean what would you do if you were in a strange town, alone and, oh yeah, the world has gone to shit with zombies everywhere trying to eat you. You’d be a little cautious tooI think.”
“Protect themselves is one thing but to stalk us like we’re some kind of prey. I don’t care how cute they are with their red hair and freckles…”
“You think they’re cute toohuh?”
“Well, in a crazy, psycho hot chick kindaway.”
“Let’sput all that stuff in the past and think about the future.”
“What future.”
“The future where we have to figure out how to survive where we’re no longer the top of the food chain. The more people we have with us the better our chances are. I mean, we don’t even know if there is are any other survivors close by.”
“We know there’s Donna.”
“Okay, so there is one other…way across town.”
“And she is hot!” says Bryan as his gaze lifts upwards, staring off into nothingness as he envisions the buxom cheerleader sitting in her underwear, sweat dripping down over her…
“Hey, doofus, back to reality.”
“Huh, oh yeah. Um so say we can trust the girls, do you think they will want to come with us to help Donna?”
“Well, they can’t hole up here forever. I mean they got good defenses but the food situation is pretty limited. The pop cooler up front looks like it’sbeen pilfered down to a few cans of Tab and their might be some packs of jerky by the counter but that’s it.
Man, why did you have to go start talking about food. I had forgot how hungry I was.”
At the mention of food Justin rejoins the conversation“You know, I have been thinking that maybe we could make our way to the All-Mart up on the hill tomorrow. It is not that far away and there should be enough supplies to last a good while, assuming it has notbeen pillaged or overrun by zombies already.”
“All-Mart huh. That’s not a bad idea.”
“Let’s get back and see what they think.”
Once the two groups have left the storage room, Brandon and Melody sit quietly for a few moments, neither one wanting to break the silence. As they sit there, each cleaning the remnants of their latest victims from their blades, Brandon notices the sadness that has come over Melody’s face. Realizing she is feeling the same sense of loss and uncertainty that he feels and not knowing whether they will ever see the rest of their familiesagain, or if they’re even still alive, it’s too much for someone so young to have to deal with. Better to not deal with it then. Knowing exactly what she is thinking about and how she is feeling but not having a clue as what to say, Brandon tries to take her mind off of her worries.
“Why do you have that scarf?”
“My mom made it for me.” The sudden mention of her mom makes the sadness in her eyes even more pronounced as tears start to well up.
“Bryan used to have a scarf like that. He never wears it anymore though. What about the bow tie? I mean who wears bow ties?”
“Exactly! Bow ties are cool.”
“Huh?”
Seeing the ire starting to grow as her cheeks start to flush, Brandon realizes he has done his job.
Continuing with the jabs“Well, I think they’re silly.”
“Silly? You’re the silly one.”
“Oh yeah, well at least I ain’t a red headed freckle faced psycho.”
“No, you’re a shaggy headed, buck toothed geek.”
“Nerd! I’m a nerd not a geek. There’s
a difference.” With that he sees the corner of her mouth start to turn upward in a half tilted smirk and heknows that he has done good. “You think the others are okay?”
“The fellas? Probably not.”
“Maybe we should check on them. Yeah, ifthey see a bug they might need us to squish it for them.”
As they get up and start to walk towards the double doors leading out to the main floor, dragging the tips of their swords on the floor behind them as they walk, Melody gently gives Brandon a soft punch on the shoulder and quietly says“Thanks.”
“No problem” he says as he opens the door for her.
Chapter 12
Gathering everyone back to the safe confines of the storage room, it’s Alex who makes note of the food situation.
“I don’t mean to be a downer but there ain’t a whole lot to eat around hear.”
“Whatayamean”, says Melody,“we got plenty to eat.”
Looking somewhat confused, Alex continues. “All I’ve seen so far are a few cans of crappy diet soda and some packs of stale jerky that have more dust on them than my dad’s treadmill.”
“We got plenty right here, says Melody as she spreads her arms out, gesturing to the stacks of animal feed that fills the room.”
“You want us to eat dog food” asks Bryan with a look of disgust on his face.
“Don’t think of it as dog food, think of it as food repurposed for post-apocalyptic survival.”
“It’s dog food.”
“Not all of it, some of it is for horses.”
“That doesn’t help.”
“Hey, don’t knock it‘tilyou try it. Horse feed has all kinds of good stuff in it. Molasses, oats, all kinds of stuff. Here, give it a whiff. Digging into one of the open bags, Melody brings out a handful of feed and shoves it in Bryan’s face. To his surprise it doesn’t smell all that bad having a sweet aroma that makes him even hungrier than before.
“We’re not at that point just yet” says Darla. “We’ve still got some of the rations that mom and dad sent with us along with the stuff we scavenged from the store. We should be okay for a few days if we are careful.”