Donna of the Not Undead (...of the Not Undead Book 1)

by Bryan Mosier

  Coming in low, seeming to glide effortlessly through the chaos, Brandon brings his sword across in a sweeping motion that cuts the soccer mom zombie off at the knees. Before her rotted rump can hit the floor he is already on top of her shoving the end of his blade through her forehead. Looking at the other two zombies shambling their way towards he and Melody, Brandon makes a quick calculation in his head, judging the best possible way to eliminate the threat as efficientlyas possible. Seeing Melody’s sword on the floor he runs towards it, sliding on his rump on the polished tile floor scattering lacy undergarments as he slides. In a single, graceful motion he grabs Melody’s sword in mid slide, turns on his hip, plants his foot and leaps, spinning into the air with a sword in each hand. Turning in midair, Brandon locks on to his targets and with an effortless grace slashes at both zombies simultaneously as he flies between them. Landing a few feet behind them in a deep, crouched position he pauses. Standing slowly he waits a brief moment then turns to take in the full drama of his work. The two zombies, still standing but no longer moving seem to be frozen in place. Seeing Melody still sitting on the floor, Brandon confidently walks between the two zombies as their heads fall from their shoulders and the bodies crumple to the floor. As he walks to Melody, his demeanor changes. No longer the ruthless zombie slayer, he kneelsby her side and asks,“Are you okay?”

  “Um, yeah, yeah I’m fine. That was, um, that was pretty cool?”

  “You sure you’re okay. I mean are your hurt? You took a pretty good fall there.”

  “No, I’m fine” she says as she stands up, trying not to wince when she puts her weight on her foot.

  “Here, you dropped this” he says as he hands her sword back to her. “You might want to hang onto that a little tighter next time.”

  Blushing with embarrassment, she takes the sword and very gingerly starts to walk to the front of the store.

  “Where are you going?” asks Brandon.

  “We gotta go see how those three got in and make sure there ain’t anymore.”

  After a quick inspection of the front entrance and having replaced some of the shopping carts in a gap that they are confident was how the zombies had gotten in, Brandon and Melody make a quick circuit around the store. Not finding anymore threats they make their way back to the toy section where they immediately notice that the sound of laughter is gone, now replaced with a different sound. As they make their approach its Melody who first asks,“What is that?”

  “I don’t know, sounds like when your sneakers get stuck in really deep mud and you can’t get them out and when you pull real hard they make a wet, sucking sound.”

  “Yeah, that’s exactly what it sounds like.”

  As they make the final turn they are shocked, the look of horror frozen on their faces.

  “WHAT THE HELL?!?” exclaims Brandon not even remotely trying to contain his shock and horror.

  “I think I’m gonna be sick. Forget the undead freaks, this is what I’m gonnahave nightmares about” adds Melody.

  There on the floor is Justin, flat on his back with Helga on top of him, her legs straddling him at the waist with her face pressed firmly against his own in what can only be described as a battle between an overly aggressive petite blond girl and a somewhat confused yet very eager hulking lump of a neck bearded nerd. With saliva flowing freely and tongues apparently locked in mortal combat, circling each other like Spock and Kirk during an epic Pon Far duel, what should be a moment of teenage passion seems more like a duel to the death.

  “Oh gross, Dude! Really? I mean REALLY?”

  Startled by the abrupt interruption, Justin without thinking haphazardly tosses the small frame of Helga to one side and stumbles to his feet. Adjusting his glasses and trying to regain his composure the usually verbose Justin stutters and stammers until finally realizing what he’d done exclaims“Helga, Oh shit I mean shoot are you okay?I am so sorry.” Helping her to her feet and trying to communicate his apology in as many nonverbal cues as possible he smiles when he sees some sense of recognition on her face that he feels terrible about what he just did.

  “What do you two kids think you’re doing?” asks Melody in a sarcastic motherly tone.

  “We um, uh, we were…”

  “We know what you were doing” says Brandon as he jabs his elbow into Melody’s shoulder with a comical wink and a nod.

  “Um…uh.”

  “Oh come on, we need to get going.”

  As the four turn to make their way back to the storage room Justin notices that Melody is walking with a bit of a limp. “What happened to you?”

  Still shaken from the near death experience from before it is now Melody who starts to stammer, “Um, I uh, I slipped”

  “We found a skateboard and I was showing her how to ollie and she tooka hard bump.”

  “Really? A skateboard?”

  “Um, yeah?says Melody. “That’s all. Just a dumb skateboard accident.” Looking up at Brandon she gives him a gentle smile thanking him for not telling Justin and Helga the truth.

  Chapter 18

  “Bout fucking time you guys show up. We gotta get this show on the road” yells Suzie-Steve as the four stragglers come in from the main floor. “What the hell have you been doing” barks Carla.

  “We were just tryingto, um to um to… stammers” Justinas his face flushes with embarrassment, confident that she somehow knew of he and Helga’s brief romantic interlude.

  “What? Melody. I’m talking to Melody? What did you think…” looking past the stuttering Justinat Melody as she continues to limp towards the collected group,“Why the hell are you limping? What happened? Were there stumble bums in the store? You didn’t go outside did you?”

  Not wanting to lie to her sister, Melody gives Brandon a pleading look as if to say,“Please, help me again.”

  “Oh they were just trying out a skateboard and she fell, that’s all”, interjects Justin before Brandon can recommit to his earlier falsehood.

  “Are you okay?” asks Darla as she walks over to her sister. Putting her hands on Melody’s cheeks,“You have to be careful.”

  Looking in her sister’s eyes and overcome with the thought of what almost happened back in the store, Melody’s steely façade finally crumbles like shattered glass and tears begin to pour down her cheeks. Burying her face in her sisters oversized green army jacket, Melody begins to sob.

  Wrapping her arms around her sisterDarla looks for Carla who is already coming to be with her sisters. Wrapping them both in a warm embrace, Carla gently says,“No matter what, we stick together. We take care of each other. That’s what mom and dad would’ve wanted.” Using the past tense, it’s the first time that Darla feels the reality of their situation. As it hits her hard as she is finally forced to admit to herself the real possibility that they may never see their parents again.

  Suddenly, the sound of uncontrollable sobbing erupts throughout the room. Looking around the groups finds Larry withtears rolling down his face. “That was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen” sobs Larry as snot drips from his nose.

  “You…got...to…be…the biggest, fat assiest pussy left on the entire, muthafuckin planet” yells Suzie-Steve. “Come on you fat fuck, let’s get the gate open” still berating Larry for his emotional outburst as they walk through the back door to the awaiting truck.

  Caught in a sudden moment of silence it’s Alex that first speaks up. “You know...you don’t have to go” he says looking at the girls. “You could just stay here where it’s safe. I mean, it’s okayif you want to.”

  Looking at her sisters and Helga for affirmation and finding it unanimously, Darla says“We’re going.”

  Trying to hold back a smile Alex gives a slight nod and says“C’mon then, we’re burning daylight.”

  “Besides, who’s gonna save your butts when you get in over your heads” asks Melody,“It’s not like Brandon can take care of every one of you by himself.”

  With a collective laugh and a renewed sense of commun
ity, the group goes to meet Larry and Suzie-Steve at the truck.

  Needing a moment for their eyes to adjust to the mid-day sunlight after coming out of the darkness of the storage room, the group finds Suzie-Steve perched in the driver’s seat of the box truck that she used to use for deliveries.

  “Where’s Larry?” asks Bryan

  “Fat bastards over there” pointing towards the back gate where the group will have to exit the parking lot.

  Looking over towards Larry, the group lets out a collective sigh at the sight.

  There they see Larry standing alone at the large double gate with a key in one hand and the lock and chain that is the only thing keeping the gate secure in the other. On the other side of the fence is the real object of their concern. Collected at the gates is a large group of twenty or so zombies trying desperately to get through to the ample feast that would be Larry’s fat ass.

  “Oh shi…crap! What are we going to do?” asks Justin

  “Only one thing we can do” says Suzie-Steve. “We run through’em.”

  “But what about Larry. As soon as he opens that gate they’re gonna be on him. He won’t have a chance.”

  “He can do it. He can unlock the gate and haul that fat ass back to the truck before they get him.”

  Looking at Suzie-Steve, then at Larry and then back at Suzie-Steve with a“You gottabe kidding me” look on his face, Alex says“No way his big butt is making that kind of a run. He gets winded just going to take a dump.”

  “You got any better ideas then?” asks Suzie-Steve, the frustration and reality of the situation starting to show.

  “Yeah, I’ll open the gate.”

  “Oh no you won’t” declares Brandon with Justin and Bryan following suit with their own protests.

  “I can run faster thanLarry. Besides, this was all my idea. I can’t let him take that kind of risk for me.”

  “But what if…” starts Brandon but Alex cuts him off,“Don’t worry… I got this”

  With that Alex walks over towhere Larry is standing and takes the key. “Go get in the truck” he tells Larry. Trying to hide his elation at not having to become a zombie buffet today, Larry just gives Alex a quick pat on the shoulder and scuttles his ample girth back to the awaiting truck and climbs up in the passenger seat next to Suzie-Steve. Giving Larry a quick look of relief Suzie-Steve yells to the rest of the group. “You all get in the back and leave the door open. Once he unlocks that gate I’m gonna put it to the floor and run through those dead fucks like a midnight opossum orgy on the AA. Al, you ready?”

  “Not really but what the hell let’s get this over with” as he inserts the key into the lock, steadying his shaking hands, making sure not to prematurely open it.

  Turning the key in the ignition, Suzie-Steve presses the accelerator to rev the engine. Holding the break and depressing the clutch pedal she yells out the window to Alex. “On three…one…two…three” and with that she lets out a whooping yell and releases the clutch while simultaneously moving her other foot from the brake to the gas pedal. With the tires squalling like a pack of wounded dogs momentarily the collected group in the back of the truck are jerked violently backwards towards the open door of the box truck. Justin falling face first slides on his belly towards the door, stopping just as his head crosses the threshold. Staring down at the increasingly faster rush of rough pavement passing inches from his face he fights to get up but the force of the truck’s forward momentum prevents him from doing so.

  Seeing the truck lurch forward, Alex quickly turns the key and gives the lock a quick jerk. As the lock separates from the chain, the weight of the collected zombies suddenly forces the gate open and slams into Alex, knocking him hard to the ground. Scurrying to get up as the mass of decaying hands attempts to grab at his clothes, Alex manages to get to his feet and starts to run towards the oncoming truck.

  As the truck bears down on him with its engine roaring, Alex hears the unmistakable voice of Suzie-Steve yelling“JUMP!”

  Acting on instinct, Alex Jumps forward just as the cab of the truck passes him by. With a hint of desperation and a touch of futility, Alex paws at the air reaching for anything that might rescue him from what would most definitely be a shitty end to an already shitty day. Just as Alex thinks that all is lost, as if from nowhere, a single arm appears out from the back of the truck. In a final attempt to save himself, Alex reaches for the arm and miraculously manages to latch on. Holding on for dear life, Alex is suddenly jerked hard by the sudden change in direction as the truck moves on, dragging him in mid-air with it. The force of the truck’s momentum and being anchored by his death grip on his would be rescuers arm Alex finds himself swinging in an wide arch around the back end of the truck and with a sudden hard tug, Alex is pulled inside, landing hard on top of Justin, his arms bound tightly aroundBryan’s feet who in turn has a death grip on Alex’s arm.

  With several initial large jerking thumps as the zombie invaders fall one after another under the heavy wheels of the delivery truck, the movement of the vehicle finally smooths out as they get further away from the back lot of the All-Mart. Looking back the group sees several of the zombies still standing, milling around as if confused about where their delicious meal had disappeared to.

  “You think they’ll get in?” asks Bryan. “It’d be a shame to lose that place. All those supplies.”

  “If they do get in, we’ll take it back” says Brandon, with a cold sternness in his voice. “Everybody settle in, we got a ways to go before we get to where Donna lives” says Alex and with that he reaches up and grabs the handle of the trucks back door. Giving it a hard jerk he lowers the door down with a hard slam.

  “Um dude, it’slike totally dark in here. I can’t see my hand in front of my face.” comes Bryan’s voice

  “That’s not your face” comes Carla’s voice from the darkness.

  “Oh, um sorry” says Bryan, grateful for the darkness so that no one can see the bright red hue that his face had turned.

  “Anybody think to bringa light?” comes Justin’s voice and with that several small flashlights blare to life, their tiny beams illuminating the cramped space of the truck’s storage compartment.

  With a smirk and a ridiculous attempt at an Australian accent, Brandon reaches down behind the box he is perched on and hauls what looks like a huge, oversized yellow flashlight,“That’s nawt a loit, this is a loit” and with the flick of a switch the entire space is bathed in a ray of blinding radiance.

  “Holy crap, where did you get that thing?”

  “Turn it off, we don’t need that much light.”

  “Yeah, save it. Never know when we might need that later.”

  Snickering, Brandon flips the switch and once more the truck falls into darkness.

  As the truck meanders down the road, the huddled group can feel the truck start to sway back and forth more and more as the relatively straight roads of the town give way to the curvier rural roads of the county. With everyone lost in their own thoughts about what they may be getting themselves into, it’s Alexwho breaks the silence“Hey, does something feel weird to you guys?”

  “I have noticed that my tonsils are a bit swollen” replies Justin.

  “Not like that, you freakinhypochondriac.”

  “Hey, he has a legitimate concern to be worried about his tonsils. They take a lot of abuse” says Bryan with a knowing grin on his face.

  “Yeah, who knows what those hobos under the bridge could have.”

  And with yet another attack in the relentless assault on his heterosexuality Justin provides the standard“Horrible…horrible people.” response, the defeat in his voice the true reward for their persistence.

  “You guys” chides Darla, trying to hold back a grin of her own.

  “What I meant was does the truck feel weird to you. Like there’s a weird shake or something.”

  “Now that you mention it I do feel a little something”

  “Yeah, it shouldn’t have that kind of vibratio
n.”

  Almost on cue the truck begins to decelerate and gradually comes to a complete halt.

  “What do you think is going on?” asks Carla.

  “Don’t know. You think everything is okay up there?” Suddenly the inner chamber of the delivery truck’s storage area is bathed in light as the back door raises up with a loud, rolling thud.

  “What the fu…” starts Alex, blinded by the sudden rush of light. Once his eyes adjust he sees Suzie-Steve and Larry standing on the ground behind the truck.

  “We gottaproblem” declares Suzie-Steve in her we are so fucked, I mean for serious voice.

  “What’s the matter?” asks Carla.

  “Well, y’all best climb out of there and see.”

  Motioning for the group to follow, Suzie-Steve and Larry walk towards the front of the truck. Hopping out of the back, Alex helps Carla and Darla down while Justin gives Helga a hand. Melody, with her usual flare, leaps from the back of the truck, does a quick forward roll coming up on one knee with her hand firmly gripped on the handle of her sword. Managing to hide the pain screaming through her ankle she calmly scans the area before giving a stoic,“All clear”

  “There is definitely something not right about that girl” says Darla.

  Following Suzie-Steve and Larry, the group finds them at the front of the truck, staring at the vehicle with a puzzled look on their faces.

  “How the fuck do you think that got there?” asks Larry.

  Giving him a look of total disgust, Suzie-Steve says“Are you a total fucking idiot. How the samfucking hill do you fucking think that got there you fat fucking fuck of a fuck”

  “Just askin, jeese” says Larry.

  Looking at the front of the truck the group sees the object of Larry’s confusion and Suzie-Steve’s frustration. Firmly wedged into the grill of the delivery truck is the upper torso of a still writhing zombie with hot, blistering steam billowing out around it. With one arm severed and the other tangled amidst the twisted plastic andmetal of the truck’s grill, it violently extends its neck back and forth out towards the group, clamping its teeth in a ferocious yet futile attempt to tear the flesh of its would be victims.