by Bryan Mosier
“NO!” comes the immediate embarrassed response.
“Me thinks he doth protest a little too much” says Justin, barely able to hold back the belly shaking laughter. “Shit!” exclaims Bryan and the laughter comes to an abrupt end. “What dude? Were you bit?”
Thrusting the athletic protector out for the group to examine, a deep gouge now clearly visible in the hardened plastic. Pointing at Melody his voice a high pitched whisper,“She almost…almost…” the thought of having his manhood chopped of so horrific he can’t even put it into words.
“Serves you right. All of youshould be ashamed” says Melody. Looking at Carla and Darla for help and finding only the same look of disgust and disappointment
“Wha…What did I…we do?” Bryan asks, stunned at having to defend himself.
“That girl was somebody before she died. She had a family.” explains Carla.
“What if we had never met and that was one of us. Would you have said those same things? You shouldn’t have treated her like that” chides Darla, the frown of disappointment on her face cutting through Alex worse than any blade could.
“But she…IT!...isn’t a person. IT is a thing. A mindless, flesh eating, rotten thing” says Bryan, trying to justify his behavior or at the very least diminish its level of offensiveness.
Looking down at the motionless form of the girl in her tattered, blood stained cheerleader outfit Bryan suddenly realizes,“Hey, I know her. That…that was Susan Glover. I had Pre-Calc. with her last year. She was actually kindanice.” Looking back at Melody, his face flushed a deep shade of crimson with the shame that he was now feeling, Bryan can do nothing more than just lower his head and stare at his feet.
Suddenly, from the depths of the locker room a loud clanging of metal against concrete can be heard as if someone had knocked over a trashcan. “What was that?” asks Carla. “Puppies and kittens engaged in a playful romp” says Justin, hoping to use a little humor and wishful thinking to lighten the mood. Before anyone else can offer a suggestion as to the source of the noise the answer comes staggering out of the boy’s locker room.
One after another, clad in the same maroon and white mini-skirted cheerleader uniform as the late Susan Glover, comes one diminutive female figure after another. Backing away from the door the group watches as it seems nearly the entire national champion cheerleading squad belches forth from the dark recesses of the boy’s locker room. Once known for their military like precision and athletic prowess, the stumbling figures are now a shade of their former selves, tripping and falling over one another as they surge forward onto the open floor of the gymnasium. Once these girls were the envy of every girl in school and every boy dreamed of being with them. Now their once luscious, perfectly styled hair is matted with dried blood, their gleaming white teeth yellowed and stained and their perfect complexion mottled and broken. Within minutes the room is again filled with a mass of undead bodies. Still reeling from the near catastrophe of earlier, Alex offers a whisper“Um, guys maybe we should get out of here?” Grabbing the metal handle of his floor scraper, Bryan jams the rubber grip back onto the end of the handle and throwing back his shoulders says“No, we need to take care of them. We need to at least put them out of their misery.” Taking a step forward, and taking one last look down at the motionless form of the now doubly deceased Susan Glover, Bryan feels his emotions rush to the surface and is swamped with the guilt and shame of his earlier behavior. Looking at these other girls, girls that in all reality he likely at one point or another had some type of erotic fantasy about, he can’t find the strength to hurt them. “I…I can’t do this guys. Melody is right. They’re still girls. I just can’t…it’s not right.” Feeling the same shame and unable to reconcile the notion that killing a female zombie is not the same as hurting a girl, Alex and Justin’s collective will falters. Seeing the conflict that the boys are experiencing it is Darla who steps forward. Looking at Brandon, she quietly asks,“May I borrow her for a few minutes”, pointing at the katana slung over his shoulder. Slowly pulling the blade from itssheathe, Brandon cradles it in his hands close to his chest. “You’ll give her back?”
“Of course”
“And you’ll take good care of her?”
“Most definitely”
Looking down at his beloved sword Brandon extends his arms forward to Darla who very gently lifts it from his hands. Taking the sword by the hilt and giving a nod of approval, Darla looks at Carla, Helga and Melody and then at the stumbling horde of undead cheerleaders. In that moment the memories of all of the taunting and ridicule that she and her sisters endured back home from girls just like these comes rushing back. With a disquieting coldness Darla looks back at the other girls and says“C’mon ladies. Let’s take these brain dead Barbies down.” Following her cue, Melody draws her own sword. Carla, walking over to Bryan takes the metal handled floor scraper from him and says “Be right back”. Walking over to what was once Marcus Middleton, Helga looks down at the baseball bat, its large metal spikes still firmly implanted in the wooden floor.
“Oh, that’s stuck…” starts Alex but is surprised when, in spite of her petite frame, Helga grabs the handle and, with a quick downward thrust, dislodges the spikes and frees the bat from the floor.
“Okay then. Just like daddy showed us.” says Darla.
With a quick nod to her sister she takes offrunning directly at Carla who, having taken up a position in the path of the oncoming zombies suddenly drops to all fours. With perfect timing, as if having been practiced countless times before, Darla plants her foot between Carla’s shoulders and, pushing off, propels herself into the air. Spinning and whirling through the air, Darla lands in the middle of the oncoming horde, stickingthe landing firm like an Olympic gymnast vying for a gold medal. Sword at the ready, Darla pauses as Melody, mirroring her sister’s athleticism comes flying through the air and lands at her side. Standing back to back, Darla whispers to Melody“You ready?”
“Yep” comes the confident reply.
“I go high, you go low”
“Kay”
“Let’s do this.”
And with that both girls unleash their blades on the encroaching horde of zombie cheerleaders. With light flashing off of polished steel, the blades tear through the air and slice through the animated corpses with frightening ease. Darla and Melody, now completely surrounded by oncoming zombies, spin and twist, slashing and turning as one. From years of practice both girls move with complete synchronicity, neither one looking at each other, each knowing where the other is and what their next move will be. When Melody brings her sword in low, taking a zombie out at the knees, Darla brings her sword down hard to remove its head. Watching the perfectly choreographed mayhem happening before them the foursome of boys find themselves awestruck at what they see.
As the crowd of zombies focus their collective attention on the melee at the middle of the group, Carla and Helga begin their own assault on the mob of stumbling cheerleaders. Spinning the floor scraper in her left hand Carla spies a tall, dark haired girl to her right. Looking at the girl Carla thinks to herself that in life this girl was probably one of the prettiest girls in school. Her long dark hair and tall slender frame probably made all of the boys dream of being with her. She could just see how with the flick of those long, ebony locks any boy would surely melt. Now standing there with her hair a tangled mess littered with maggots and stinking like three-day old summer road kill the only feelings this poor girl could evoke from anyone is pity. Spinning the scraper in her left hand Carla expertly swings the weapon behind her back, continuing the spin in one fluid motion while transferring it to her right hand. Continuing the motion Carla spins the bladed tool with her right hand and in one sudden thrust, extends it hard catching the dark haired girl flush in the side of her skull, burying the blade of the scraper deep. Seeing her fall lifeless to the floor, Carla turns to find her next target.
Looking over to Helga who is now ready for action, baseball bat in hand with its blo
od covered metal spikes, resting on her shoulder. Carla points to another zombie cheerleader and, without speaking a single word, communicates her intentions to Helga. Leaping forward, Carla plants her free hand on the gym floor and cartwheels herself past her target, stopping just behind the stumbling girl zombie. Spinning the floor scraper back hard she catches her target hard in the back of itsleg, forcing her to drop to one knee. Almost instantly the zombie cheerleaders head explodes into a geyser of black blood and brain matter as the spikes of Helga’s bat tear through the girl’s skull. With a brief pause to give Helga an affirming smile, Carla takes aim at her next target. With a rolling leap, Carla catapults herself forward towards a short blond haired girl. With a squat build and heavily muscled thighs Carla can’t help but think to herself“definitely the bottom of the pyramid”. Stopping at the blondezombie’s feet on one knee in a crouched position Carla looks up into the face of the girl. Looking into her milky bluish green eyes, Carla sees no sign of humanity left in this animated shell of a person. Placing one hand just below the head of the scraper and the other on the soft rubber grip, she leaps upward. Letting the metal handle slide in her hand Carla rams the blade of the scraper hard under the chin of the blonde zombie cheerleader. With the full strength of her body behind it, the scraper plows through the face of the girl, slicing upwardthrough rotten flesh and bone until it explodes out of the top of the girl’s skull. Her arm outstretched high into the air Carla watches as, now freed from the rest of her head, the blondezombie cheerleader’s face falls to the floor with a loud splat, its milky eyes looking up from the floor, its dead expression unchanged.
As the boys watch the rampaging spectacle going on before them they start to notice a peculiar sound. At first a low hum but soon growing into a distinctive, familiarmelody, the boys are surprised to hear what sounds like singing as various body fluids and parts rain through the air. “Are they singing?” asks Alex.
“I think so. Is that?” starts Bryan but his question is answered as three voices unite in harmony.“Girls just wanna have fu-un, oh girls just wannahave…that’s all they really waa-a-a-aa-a-a-aant.” Continuing their chorus, the girls spin, jump and jab from one target to the next, the three sisters moving as if guided by the rhythm of a classic ode to the frivolity and fun of a bygone era.
One after another the zombie cheerleaders fall to the onslaught brought on by the four girls with Darla and Melody wreaking havoc from inside of the ever dwindling crowd and Carla and Helga dismantling one after another from the outside. Working with the skill and precision of an elite military unit, the three sisters make short work of the squad of cheerleader stumble bums. The precision and dexterity of their assault a stark contrast to the brutality of Helga, her once pristine Hello Kitty shirt now smattered with blood and brain matter. Within moments the floor is littered with more than two dozen bodies with only two members of the former cheerleading squad now left standing. Looking at her little sister, Darla gives her a quick wink and tosses her the sword she borrowed from Brandon. Watching the blade fly through the air, Brandon’s heart flutters but regains its regular rhythm as Melody expertly snatches it from the air, grabbing the braided handle with her free hand. Armed with twin katana blades Melody pins the blades to the back of her arms forming two razor sharp spines running from her hands along her arms and extending past her shoulders. With Melody extending her hands out in the manner much like a child might do when asking for a hug from a loving parent, Darla places a firm grasp on Melody’s wrists. Spinning hard Darla yanks Melody into the air and, making one full rotation, launches the little girl hard into a flying spiral. Spinning through the air Melody glides between the lasttwo zombies left standing. With a flash of light on blood soaked steel both blades extend outward from Melody’s hands and in an instant the last two zombie cheerleaders are dispatched, their heads toppling off their shoulders as their bodies fall in a lifeless heap on the gymnasium floor. Her back to the awestruck foursome of boys, Melody lands in a crouched position, head hung low with arms outstretched, each sword extending sharply from her tiny hands.
Having witnessed the both figurative and literal dismantling of more than two dozen flesh eating zombies, the boys stand in silent wonder, still not really believing what they just saw. Gathering themselves together the four girls share a quick group hug before walkingover to where the boys are standing, their state of awe and amazement evidenced by the jaws hanging agape. “How the hell…Where did you…” starts Bryan but his mind having been sufficiently blown, can’t seem to finish the thought. Taking the borrowed katana back from Melody, bloody blade resting on her forearm Darla delicately turns the handle of the sword to Brandon who proudly takes it back. In a low whisper Bryan leans into Alex and admits“Okay, now there’s definitely a little chub going on.”
“That was amazing. Where did you girls learn to do that?” asks Alex, finally managing to regain his composure.
“Daddy showed us” says Melody,“He showed us how to do all kinds of stuff.”
Looking at Darla, Alex can only smile, a gesture that, to his delight is returned.
Bryan, taking the floor scraper back from Carla, smiling gives her a light punch on the shoulder and says“Not bad, for a girl I mean”.
Helga, walking up to Justin, still breathing hard from her adrenaline fueled battle with the undead, grabs him hard by the neck of his shirt. Still holding the blood covered spiked baseball bat, Helga pulls him to her with more strength than one would expect from such a small frame, presses her mouth hard to his. His eyes wide with both confusion and excitement Justin puts up a feeble show at resistance but soon gives in. Putting his arms around her waist he pulls her in close and, after several moments finally pulls back.
“Um, yeah, that just happened” says Bryan, breaking the awkward silence of the moment.
As Helga walks back over to join the other girls, Justin leans in and whispers to Bryan and Alex“Maximum chubbageindeed”.
“Um guys, this chick is missing part of her uniform.”
“What?” is Alex’s confused response as he turns to see Brandon kneeling over one of the fallen zombie cheerleaders, the blade of his sword sliding through the fold of her skirt as he cleans the blood from his weapon.
“Looks like she forgot her bloomers” adds Melody.
“Um, you don’t need to look at that” chides Darla as she places her hands over Melody’s eyes and leads her away.
“Dude, what are you doing?” asks Alex.
“I was just cleaning my blade and noticed. She ain’t wearing no panties.” Looking around at the rest of the bodies strewn across the floor Brandon continues,“Looks like they all forgot’em.”
Looking around the room and confirming Brandon’s observation, Bryan wonders out loud,“What were they all doing in the boy’s locker room and why do they not have any…” and then like a light switch turning on the realization hits him. His eyes widen as he looks around the group and sees that everyone has come to the same conclusion. Everyone except the two youngest, their innocent mindsunable to make the connections. “Looks like they were having a little end of the world brown chicken brown cow if you know what I mean” blurts out Bryan.
“No, I don’t know what you mean? There ain’t no chicken or cow anywhere in here. That would be just stupid, I mean it’s a gym” chides Melody. Looking at Darla, Melody, her childlikeinnocence and youthful curiosity radiating from her freckled cheeks looks up to her big sister with a smile, beseeching her for an explanation. Alex smiles and says“Oh yeah, you got this” as he smiles and pats her on the shoulder. Face blushing three shades deeper than her crimson red hair, Darla begins to stutter“Well, um…uh…you know when two people love each other and they um…” but is cut off by the giggling laughter bursting forth from Melody and Brandon.“What are you laughing at?” asks Darla. “I was just messing with ya.” admits Melody. “I know exactly what was going on.”
“Oh really? Well then what exactly do you think was happening in that locker room” as
ks Darla, her voice taking on an irritated motherly tone.
“They were boinkin” comes the unexpected answer from Brandon. Looking at Melody Darla is stunned to see her little sister give her a smiling nod of agreement.
Flustered that her little sister would know about such things, she can only manage“Um, how….how do you two know about….about….um….boinkin?”
With a quick look at each other Brandon and Melody give a lazy shrug of theirshoulders and in unison admit“The internet.”
Chapter 30
“What the hell fire blazes is going on in here?” comes the booming voice of Suzie-Steve as she and Larry come bursting through the one unchained door from the lobby of the gymnasium. “It looks like a damn bomb when off in here?”
“Well” starts Alex,“It kindadid” he admits as he looks around at the rest of the group nodding in agreement.
“Seriously, I can’t leave you guys alone for five minutes and you go and start gettinyour sorry little white asses into trouble.”
“Oh there weren’t no trouble” says Bryan. Throwing his arm around Carla’s neck, he continues“The girls here took care of things real good.”
“You girls did this? We-heh-hell, looks like we got us some bad ass bitchesin the house” says Suzie-Steve, a proud smile beaming on her face. “Good thing you girls were here? These boys’dbe lost without you.”
Feeling emasculated and wanting to change the subject,‘Hey, did you have any luck finding us some transportation?” asks Alex.
“OH HELL YEAH!” Is the excited reply from Larry. “We gonna be ridinin style” he adds.“C’mon, let me show ya”.
And with that Larry and Suzie-Steve lead the group through the lobby of the gymnasium back out to the main entrance of the school. Stopping at the doorway Darla looks back and, with a puzzled look asks Alex“You said that this Donna chic was like the head cheerleader or something?”