by Diana Nixon
“What’s this?” I asked, puzzled.
“The letters. One for you, one for my sister and one for Emily. Read yours when I’m no longer here. Make sure Kassie receives her letter on the day of my thirtieth birthday. And this one,” he said, pointing to the last letter, “give to Emily when you think it’s time for her to move on and be happy again.”
I had swallowed the lump forming in my throat, nodded wordlessly and took the letters. A week after that conversation, Adrian died and I was the only person who knew the truth about the accident: it wasn’t accidental at all.
A few hours before, Adrian came to my workshop. He looked and acted as he had any other day. The only thing that I didn’t pay attention to were the words he said before leaving.
“Never regret anything, man. Every stupid decision you make is worth being memorized.”
“Are you high or something?” I asked jokingly. No matter how hard it was to see him, knowing that his time in this world was limited, I still tried to act as if I didn’t know anything.
“Now I realize that my only regret is having regrets,” he said, smiling slightly. “Take care, Bro.” And then he left, and never came back.
Later I realized that it was his way to say goodbye. He knew I would do anything to stop him, and he didn’t want to stop. He wanted to finally be free.
I never read the letter left by Adrian. I brought it back to his house and left it here; I didn’t want to know what was written there. I wasn’t ready to know.
“Maybe it’s time to find out whatever you wanted to say?” I asked in a whisper. Then, I went to the fireplace and removed one of the wooden panels on the floor. There was a metal box that Adrian called his cookie jar. But, to my surprise, it was empty now.
“What the hell?” I looked around, frowning. I was sure I left the letter inside the box. Did anyone else know about it? Could it be Kassie?
I cursed and put the box back, thinking frantically about the person who had my letter now. If it was Kassie, I was dead. Whatever was written in that letter wasn’t supposed to be seen by anyone but me, especially if Adrian talked about his disease there. It would be a shock for her to find out about that.
“Jeez, why do I always have to be such a fool?” I muttered, going out into the street. I should have read the letter a long time ago, and now I was about to be screwed even worse than I already was.
I started the engine and headed for Kassie’s. Somehow, I was sure she knew everything. The only good news was that she didn’t remember it.
“Daniel? What a pleasant surprise,” Mrs. Benson said, opening the door. I knew the woman didn’t like me, even though I didn’t know why.
“I was looking for Kassie,” I said, forcing a smile. “Is she here?”
“You, again!” My sister met me with both hands on her hips. “What the hell, Daniel? Do you even know what time it is?”
“I need to talk to Kassie.”
“No, shit?”
“Emily, please,” Mrs. Benson said, taking my sister by the hand. “If Daniel is here, then he probably has a reason to be here.”
“Kassie’s not here,” my sister snapped.
“What do you mean, she’s not here?”
“Her phone is off, and we don’t know where she is.”
“What?”
“Would you please stop asking stupid questions? She’s missing! Am I making myself clear now?”
“Emily-”
“You were the last person who saw her today. Do you know where she might be?”
I thought back on the tense conversation we had at the workshop and took a deep breath. “No, I don’t. We talked a little, and then she left.”
Emily looked at me with a furrowed brow. “You ‘talked’? You mean you fought again, didn’t you?”
“Well, not exactly. May I come in?”
She rolled her eyes and made a helpless gesture. “Make yourself at home, asshole.”
Kassie’s mom smiled uneasily and closed the door behind me.
“Did she call any of you after she left the workshop?”
“Yes,” Emily replied. “She called me and said she wanted to take a walk. So, I came back here to leave the keys to her car. And, when I tried to call her again, she didn’t answer. A few hours later, I got nervous and called Sandra,” she said, looking at Mrs. Benson.
“Okay, did you try calling Leslie or anyone else Kassie still remembers?”
“Yes, but it was all pointless. Unless-” she stopped mid-word, searching through the contact list on her phone.
“What is it, Ems?” I asked, coming closer.
“There’s one more person she might have called.”
Chapter 12
No freaking way.
I stared at the guy standing at the threshold of the house where, according to my sister’s words, I would find Kassie.
“Mr. Farrell? What an unpleasant surprise,” Matthew Robinson said, smiling sarcastically.
“Nice to see you again, Doctor,” I snapped back. “Where’s Kassie?”
“Resting.”
My fists doubled in my pockets. “How did she get here?”
“I called her a few hours ago, and she sounded upset. I thought she might need help.”
So she answered the douche’s call, but ignored everyone else’s? Unbelievable!
“I wanna see her,” I said, letting myself in.
“I doubt she wants to see you.”
“And, I don’t give a fuck about what you think!” I hissed, meeting his stare. There was no love lost between The Doctor and me. Last time we met, he certified Adrian’s death and accused me of a vehicular homicide. I was officially charged for killing my best friend, even though I didn’t have anything to do with the accident. But, at that very moment it was easier to let everyone think that it was my fault.
“Does she know that you killed her brother?”
You have a nerve, I thought angrily to myself. “Yes, she does.” It was one of the reasons Kassie hated me so much. The old Kassie I mean, not the one I knew now.
Matthew smirked. “You’re not using her memory problems for your own benefit, are you?”
“Of course, I’m not! All I want is to make sure she’s okay.”
“She is fine. I’ve taken care of her.”
“How did you two meet?”
“She’s my patient, now.”
“What about David?”
“My uncle has too much work to do. He needs my help.”
Now, it was my turn to smirk. “Oh, I see,” I said, watching his self-assured posture. “So, you kindly agreed to put Kassie’s name on your patients’ list. How very noble of you. Does she know that you are a first-class womanizer?”
“I know that you were not invited here.”
Matthew and I both turned to the sound of Kassie’s voice.
“What are you doing here, Daniel?”
I was so glad to see her again. She looked a little pale, but she was okay, and I breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank God, I’ve found you,” I said, hugging her tightly.
She didn’t hug me back.
“I wasn’t hiding from anyone. I only needed a couple of hours of peace and quiet,” she said, taking a step back. Then, she moved closer to Matthew and added, “Now that you know I’m fine, you can go.”
What a painful slap in the face. Serves you right, idiot, I thought to myself. Even more painful was to watch the triumph shining on Dr. ‘The bustard’ Robinson’s face.
I smiled at the two of them. “Don’t come crying on my shoulder after he uses you and tosses you away like a pair of old gloves,” I said, meeting Kassie’s stare. Then, I turned to the door and left, slamming it shut behind me.
That was it, the beginning of a new war that I sure as hell wasn’t going to lose.
A few minutes later, Emily called. “Did you find her? Is she okay?”
I laughed into the silence of the night. “She’s better than ever, Sis. Don’t worry. Call her sometime tomorrow. Ma
ybe she will talk to you after a long, pleasurable night with Matthew Robinson.” I hung up the phone and let it fly into the air. I didn’t have the slightest desire to talk to anyone, ever again.
***
The next morning started with cold water splashing all over me.
“Where the hell have you been?” Marcy shouted right into my ear. I swear, if I were not dead-drunk I would have made her shut the fuck up. “Have you seen my messages? I called millions of times!”
“Pipe down,” I hissed, sitting up. “What time is it?”
“Almost noon.”
I grimaced at the headache tearing me apart, and cursed aloud. “Go to the shop and buy me a new cell,” I said, giving Marcy my wallet. Thank God, I didn’t lose it last night.
“Again? Second cell in two days?”
“Get the hell out of here and bring me a new phone!”
Marcy didn’t like me shouting, but she knew as well as everyone else when to stop.
“Fine,” she snapped and left the room.
I rose to my feet and dragged myself to the bathroom. Only after I took a shower and got changed did I feel a little better. I went to check on the guys working on another bike, and was really glad to see that everything we’d planned to do with the thing looked perfect. Red, slick bumpers combined with chrome foot rests and wheels made fire run through my veins. I couldn’t wait for the moment to ride that baby.
“Hey, Boss!” Charlie called. “There’s a lady waiting for you outside.”
“What does she want?”
“She said she’s a friend of yours.”
“Since when have you been buddying up with ‘ladies’?” Seth asked, laughing. He was everyone’s pain in the ass but apart from that, he had gifted hands and we couldn’t work without him.
“Shut up,” I said, going to the exit.
To my surprise, it was Kassie waiting for me outside. She leaned against the back of my car and crossed her arms, as if she hoped her I-have-all-the-triumph-in-hand posture would be able to fool me.
“My, my,” I sang, coming closer. “I thought Mr. Kiss-my-ass-perfect wouldn’t let you out of his bed anytime soon.”
“Spare me your sarcasm, Daniel. I didn’t come here to trash your already hurt ego.”
“My what?”
“Forget it. I’m here on business.”
“No, Kas. Answer the question first,” I said, coming even closer. To my delight, she was an example of composure. Not a muscle moved on her face. That was the Kassie I loved so much.
“Wanna talk about your ego? Fine. We both know that last night you were not happy to be kicked out of Matthew’s. But you are big enough to get over it, Daniel. So why don’t we move on to the more important things?”
“Things like what?” I asked in a low voice. I knew she still felt something for me. And I was sure that it wasn’t just hate.
“We need to discuss a few things about the auction.”
“Go ahead,” I said, leaning closer. “I’m all ears.”
Anger was still boiling in my veins, and I was dying to ask her about the night she spent with Dr. Robinson, even though I still hoped I was imagining things and she didn’t sleep with him.
“So what did you want to talk about?” I asked, moving a strand of her hair. We were so close, I could barely think about anything but kissing her senseless, and making her forget about every damn second she spent with someone else.
“I looked through the list of pieces and… Daniel stop it,” she said, trying to push me away.
“Stop what?” I asked, inches from her lips.
“You know what.”
“Make me,” I said, meeting her stare. Too bad she never knew how to hide her emotions. Every single thing she felt was written on face.
“What shall I do to make you stop playing your stupid games?”
Fire had always been one of those things that I enjoyed seeing in her eyes. No matter what caused it, it was still full of passion.
“For years, I’ve been trying to get you out of my system, Kas, but I never succeeded. You are still there; in my mind, in my dreams, in my heart. And every time I see you, I want you to be mine. Only mine,” I said a second before my lips found hers.
My inner world exploded at the kiss that I had been longing for, for years. My pulse accelerated as pure pleasure rushed through my veins like a wild river that I couldn’t control.
When Kassie gripped the back of my neck, pushing us even closer to each other, I knew we were both lost in the moment, drinking it in and swaying on the waves of euphoria, crushing every doubt we had. A low moan escaped her throat, as I pulled her hips to mine. I slid my tongue into the sweetness of her mouth, and the tempting game resumed with new intensity.
With every brush of my lips against hers, I wanted to show her how much I missed her, how much I needed her in my life; how much I loved her and wanted her to love me back; how much I wanted our kiss to last forever.
I stopped only for a second to see the bliss splashing in her beautiful eyes, and then again, I brought her lips to mine. A new kiss started off soft, as if I were touching her lips with a feather, making every inch of her tremble in my arms. With our bodies pressed to each other, I lifted her up and wrapped her legs around my waist, growling at the power of excitement it made me feel.
Nothing changed. She was still the only woman able to turn me on in the blink of an eye. She was so close now, I could feel the heat radiating from her, even though we were both dressed and it was the middle of December outside. It had always been like this, with the desire that neither of us wanted to hold back and fire burning down everything on the way to the pleasurable heights, where nothing but our hearts beating as one existed.
Too bad the pleasure of the reunion wasn’t supposed to last forever.
“What the fuck is this?” Marcy shouted.
First, I didn’t even understand what she was talking about. I was so lost in the kiss, nothing but it mattered. Only after my vision focused on Kassie’s terrified face, I realized what just happened. I put her down, still watching her and breathing heavily.
“What is she doing here again?” Marcy asked, tossing a package with what I supposed was my new phone to my feet.
Neither Kassie nor I spoke. For a moment I thought her memories were back, I could still see the fire burning in her eyes.
“You shouldn’t have kissed me, knowing that your girlfriend was around,” she said, stepping back. Her voice trembled on the last word, and I knew why. Neither of us was able to think straight, now.
“I always knew you were one son of a bitch!” Marcy slapped me in the face, took her bike and sped away from the workshop.
Kassie and I were still standing there, unable to speak or move. After what felt like forever, I took a step closer and cupped her face, saying in a whisper, “Please, don’t go.”
She hesitated for a moment, but somehow I knew she wouldn’t stay with me.
“Sorry, Daniel. We shouldn’t have done that.”
“Why?”
“Why what?” she asked, looking into my eyes.
“Why are you running away, again?”
“Because I know there are reasons I stayed away from you for so long, and I hate disappointments. I don’t want to fall into the same trap again. I don’t know what I felt, breaking up with you, but I’m sure I don’t want to feel it again. So please, let me go before it’s too late.”
“Don’t do this, Kas. I know we can make it work.”
“I wish I had your confidence,” she said before she walked away, leaving me to pick up the fucking pieces of my broken heart again.
Chapter 13
The day couldn’t have been worse. The headache didn’t go anywhere, it only got stronger after I realized how badly screwed I was, again. Well, what could I do? Run after Kassie and beg her to stay? She made her choice and I had to accept it, no matter how much I hated it. Maybe she was right, and I shouldn’t have pushed her to that kiss. But damn, it was so goo
d to feel her lips moving over mine again, as if I were back home after a long absence. And she was so welcoming and so responsive. No drug could ever take me higher than she did.
I felt my anger getting stronger again. Why the fuck did she still have that hold on me?
“Boss, we are done. Wanna see the result?” Seth asked, standing at the threshold of my office.
“Sure, let’s go.”
My workshop was my kingdom, and as a king, I wanted everything to be done just the way I liked it. Including billiards and my own collection of old motorcycles. I could afford a lot, though money was never my main goal. Like everyone else, I only wanted to be happy, no matter the hard-head I could be sometimes.
“Wow, looks awesome, guys!” I said, appraising the newly finished motorcycle. It was bright green, with a double seat and a back-view monitor, designed especially for the customer. Her name was Jersey Miller. She was an old, speed-addicted friend of mine. And when I say old, I mean it literally. Jersey was in her late fifties, but the woman obviously knew how to kick any man’s ass. Maybe that’s why we liked her so much. Every time she crossed the threshold of my workshop, I knew the next morning I would be suffering from a hangover.
“Jer will love it,” I said, sliding my palm over the smooth metal surface.
“I always love your works, Sugar!” the voice behind me said.
I turned around and smiled brightly at my friend. “Hey, Beautiful,” I said, giving her a hug. Despite her age, Jersey always looked great, and if I didn’t know better, I would give her no more than forty. She was rather slim for a biker, and unlike other women riding a bike she never wore a helmet, saying it ruined her hair.
“You don’t look good,” she said, looking over me from head to toe. “What the heck happened to my boy?”
“Why don’t we go somewhere where we can have a drink and talk?”
“Sounds like a plan.” She winked at the guys, nodded approvingly to her new motorcycle, and the two of us left.
Jersey had always been one of those people with whom I didn’t have to pretend. She knew the real me.