by Diana Nixon
“A bike? Hmm… I should think about it next time I invite you for a ride.”
She laughed quietly in response. “Dirty mind.”
“Let’s talk about it later,” I said, leaning to kiss her lips.
As always, our kiss was teasing and provocative; with our tongues sliding against each other, and our bodies touching in the most seductive ways.
I reached for the edge of her blouse and took if off of her; thank God, there were no buttons standing in my way.
“You are so beautiful,” I whispered, covering her collarbone with my kisses. Working my way to her breasts, I unzipped her jeans, and pushed them down, enjoying the way her hips rose and fell in response.
I always loved her choice of lingerie. Growling mentally, I tried really hard not to let my fingers rip the dark-red thong away. “Do you even realize what this makes me want to do?”
“Show me,” she said, smiling up at me.
“Remember, you asked for this,” I said before I wrapped the delicate fabric around my hand and pulled it away. I ran my fingers across the newly exposed part of her body.
“God, you are getting me going,” I said, bending to run my tongue across her naked thigh.
“Three more minutes.”
I smirked at the reminder. “You are such a tease.”
“Don’t waste your time on talk.”
“As you wish, Dear.” I pulled her onto my lap, enjoying the way her hips rubbed against mine. “How about you help me a little?”
Wordlessly, she removed her hairpins and shook her head, making her hair fall down across her shoulders. Then, she unbuttoned my shirt and wrapped her legs tighter around my hips.
My muscles clenched when I felt her palm slipping into my pants. In one fast move, I unhooked her bra and tossed it to the leather seat, pulling her closer to place more kisses on her shoulders and breasts. I think I forgot how to breathe when our lips met again. She had full control over me now, deepening the kiss and slowing down to run her tongue over my lower lip, sucking it softly. I couldn’t stand that torture any longer. I raised her hips a little and guided myself inside her, making her groan aloud in response.
“Oh, yes, this is how I wanted it to be,” I breathed, capturing one of her nipples with my mouth.
This time everything was different: the way we felt about each other; the intensity of desire boiling in our veins; the way she was looking down at me and the way I was kissing her; the way she was responding to my every move. I was lost to everything but that very moment of making love with her.
I could feel her breathing against my skin and the heat coming from her body, dancing so perfectly in tune with mine. My thoughts were shattered into millions of small pieces that I doubted I would ever be able to gather again. But I hardly cared; all I wanted now was to bury myself inside her, again and again; to see the pure pleasure waltzing on her face; to hear the soft moans escaping her throat, making her inviting lips part.
My grip on her hips tightened as I felt her speeding up. I didn’t want that moment of pleasure to end, even though I loved the way she made me feel.
“Do you like it?” she asked, looking down at me with passion and love I had never seen before.
“Can’t you feel how much I like it?”
And before she could respond, I lifted her off and put her back on the leather seat, sliding myself roughly inside her. “What about you? Do you like it?” I asked, forcing myself deeper into the sweetest of depths.
“A lot,” she said, drawing my lips to hers and kissing me with the urgent need that I could read in her every breath and move. Then, she lifted her hips to meet my motion and I buried my face into the curve of her neck, enjoying the way her perfume affected my instincts. A few more fast thrusts, and I felt my muscles clenching at the force of bliss overwhelming my body and mind. Kassie’s grip on my shoulders tightened, and I felt her nails digging deeper into my skin with a satisfied moan, sounding so damn sweet.
“Did I stay within the allotted time?” I asked, breathing heavily.
She laughed in response. “I stopped counting forever ago.”
I looked at my watch and smiled, “They won’t even notice our disappearance. I have one more minute to catch my breath.”
“Just don’t tell me you got tired,” she said, caressing my chest with her fingertips. “Who would have thought that you are losing your edge?”
“I’m not losing anything. I was more worried about you, actually.”
“Sure, sure,” she muttered, smirking.
“Hey, stop daring me, or I won’t let you out of this car for the rest of the night.”
Kassie rolled her eyes, gathering her hair back into a high bun. “Get dressed, Smarty. I don’t want my employees to think anything bad about me.”
“No, really? You should have thought about it before you agreed to come here. Thank God, there are no windows opening to the back yard. Otherwise, your employees would see how very bad their boss lady can be.”
“You just don’t know when to shut up, do you?”
“You, of all people should know that there’s only one way to shut me up.”
She leaned forward and kissed me slowly, taking my breath away. “Happy now?”
“Mmm… Not really.”
She raised her eyebrows, surprised.
“Now I want more than just a kiss,” I explained.
She shook her head and opened the back door, saying, “Time for dessert, Honey.”
And I couldn’t help but admit how much I liked the way she called me that. Nothing was better than to be loved again.
Chapter 17
When the dinner was about to end, we were joined by Emily, who was in a very bad mood, even though no one but me and Kassie noticed that.
“What happened to you, Sunshine?” I asked, giving her a cup of tea. We were alone in the kitchen, and something told me that my sister needed a shoulder to cry on.
“Nothing,” she muttered, taking the cup.
“Come on, Sis. You can always talk to me, you know?” I said, wrapping my arms around her shoulders.
She looked at me, squinting. “You seem to be in a suspiciously good mood today. What happened to my favorite jerk?”
“Uh, do I always have to be an ass?”
“Well, yes. Last I checked you had no idea how to be a good guy.”
I rolled my eyes, leaning against the wall with my arms crossed.
“Wait a second; am I seeing things or do you really look happy?”
I shrugged, pretending I didn’t know what she was talking about.
“Oh, no,” she groaned, running one hand through her hair. “You slept with her, didn’t you?”
“Why do you care?”
“I care about her! She’s my best friend, remember? I don’t want you to make her suffer again.”
“Who said I’m going to make her suffer?” I didn’t like the way our conversation started.
“Because, I still remember the last time you did that. And, when you left to deal with your inner demons, she was broken. You thought it was the right thing to do, but I never shared your opinion. So, I’m sorry, Daniel, but I’m not going to support you this time.”
“Fine. You don’t have to. Kassie and I love each other. It never changed. But this time I’m not going to break her. After the explosion I looked at everything from a different point of view.”
“Really? After the explosion, or after she let you back in her bed?”
“Don’t be such a pain in the neck, Ems. You heard me, the incident changed everything. Maybe I even needed it to realize that living a few blocks away from her and watching her dating other guys was so much different from seeing her dead!”
Emily sighed, rubbing her face with both hands. “Sorry, Dan. I didn’t mean it. All I want is to see her happy.”
“And, that makes two of us. Listen, Sis, I know you are worried about Kassie, but I swear, I won’t let the scenario from two years ago happen again, ever.”
/> She nodded wordlessly and leaned into my opened embrace, hugging me tightly. “You two are going to drive me to the grave, soon.”
I laughed under my breath. “Courage, Dear. We always liked giving you a hard time.”
“You can say that, again!”
“Now, tell me what happened to you?”
Emily shook her head and went to take a seat at a small corner table. “Nothing to tell about.”
“But?”
“But, I so need to talk to someone.”
That was my sister for you. Every time she had problems, it was written all over her face, and I didn’t need any words to know that she was upset.
“Aaron came tonight.”
“The guy from your college?”
“Yes. He wanted to go to a movie, but I didn’t have the slightest desire to go out.”
“Okay, and?”
“And well, we talked, made some popcorn, and then he tried to kiss me. And, I asked him to leave.”
“You don’t like him?”
“That’s the thing: I do like him, but-”
“Ems, don’t you think it’s time to stop seeing Adrian’s shadow whenever a guy wants to touch you?”
Emily’s eyes glistened with tears. Our pain was different, but one thing I knew for sure: she was afraid of letting Adrian go.
“Time goes by so fast,” I said, hunkering down in front of her. “Don’t waste it on looking back and crying. I’m sure Adrian would like to see you happy.”
“I know, it’s just… So hard to let my memories go.”
“No one makes you forget him. But you can’t spend the rest of your life in misery.”
“I will never forgive myself for fighting with him that day. If only I knew it would be our last fight and talk ever. The accident was my fault.”
“No, it wasn’t.”
“He got drunk because of me! I can still hear the sound of his car speeding away from our house; I can still see his face the moment my car crashed into his-”
“Please, stop it. It wasn’t your fault. It was no one’s fault.”
“No, Daniel we both know that I’m right.”
I wiped the tears from Emily’s cheeks and took her hand in mine. “I think it’s time to show you something. Give me half an hour to take Kassie home, okay?”
“What do you want to show me?”
“Just give me half an hour.”
I didn’t want to leave Kassie alone that night, but my sister needed me and I couldn’t let her down. It was time to give her Adrian’s letter. Unlike my own, I knew where hers was.
“You never told me what happened to Emily,” Kassie said, opening the door to her apartment.
“We’ve been through this story many times, and the finale is always the same.”
“Adrian?”
“Yes. That’s why I can’t stay tonight, no matter how much I want to,” I said, caressing her cheek with my palm.
“It’s okay. I will take a shower and go to bed.”
“Damn, it sounds like a very good plan. Maybe I should come and join you in a morning shower, instead?”
Kassie smiled, kissing my lips. “We will still have plenty of opportunities to share a shower.”
Amen, I thought to myself, hoping that God or whoever was there listening to our prayers would hear my words.
“Sweet dreams,” I said, giving her a goodbye kiss.
“Gonna miss you,” she said, and my heart sank. Somehow, leaving her again felt like the worst thing ever.
“I’ll call you in the morning.”
“Okay.”
On my way home, all I could think about was my upcoming conversation with Emily. I didn’t know what to say after she read the letter. Or, maybe she wouldn’t even want to talk to me after that. Well, there was only way to find out.
When I entered the apartment, I saw my sister sitting on the couch watching an old video from one of her birthdays where Kassie, Adrian and I were trying to sing her a happy birthday song.
“You know, I always hated that day,” I said, taking a seat next to her.
“I know. You are one hell of a singer,” she said, smiling slightly.
I took the remote from her hands and turned the TV off.
“You might not like what I’m going to show you, but please, try to understand that it wasn’t my decision to make.”
“Jeez, you sound scary.” She looked at me suspiciously. “Will I want to kill you after I see whatever you’re going to show me?”
“Don’t know. Maybe,” I said, heading for my room.
I didn’t know what was written in the letter, but I was sure Emily would need some time to be alone to get over it. So, I took the envelope with her name, went back to the living room and said, “Call me when you are ready to talk or yell at me, or whatever else you want to do.”
She took the envelope and I saw her palms shaking.
“But it’s from-”
“Adrian. He left it for you.”
“Why didn’t you give it to me earlier?” I could already hear the accusation in her voice. Crap, this wasn’t going to be easy.
“Because, I was told to give it to you when the right time came.” Then, I turned around and left Emily to read the letter.
***
Hi, Beautiful,
Wherever I am now, I hope you still remember how to smile and make the world spin around you. I knew I would never be able to say the words that I’m going to write. Unfortunately, it’s the only way to explain things now.
Remember the day we first met? You were wearing that cute shirt with a smiling heart, and I thought you were the most beautiful creature in the world. How old were we? 20 and 15? Such a wonderful age… Back then you were like a ray of sun breaking through the windows of my life. I never noticed the age difference we had. We could laugh and talk for hours, even though your brother never left us alone. :) Do you think he ever got tired of eavesdropping? I knew I would never be able to stay away from you.
First, I fell in love with your indescribable desire to live and make everything you touched better. You were so naïve and so wise at the same time. You always said that the more we laugh the longer we live. You were absolutely right. Even now that I know I don’t have much time to spend with you, I’m still smiling writing this letter, and I don’t want you to cry reading it. So please, smile at the words, as if it were me sitting next to you and whispering them into your ear…
The day you turned eighteen, I realized that I couldn’t live without you. You looked so beautiful wearing that ivory dress… For a moment, I thought I was dreaming. Then, Mike Davis asked you for a dance and I woke up, dying to punch him in his smiling face. :) I didn’t let you dance with anyone else that night. I think the look on my face was enough to scare all the other guys away from you. I hope you were not angry at me for that small trick. :) I wanted you all for myself…
Then, it was the day of our engagement, and I was the happiest man in the world, knowing that now you would be mine forever. Unfortunately, my forever ended sooner than I expected… The day I found out about my disease, I realized I needed to let you go.
I came to your place and said that I wanted to break the engagement. You don’t even know how much I wanted to take my words back, but I couldn’t… Because I knew it was better to let you go before it was too late. And so, my life turned into one never-ending hell. You didn’t want to see me; you didn’t want to talk to me, and I couldn’t tell you the truth, because I knew it would hurt even more than my lies. All I wanted was to protect you from more suffering. I didn’t want you to watch me die, and I’m sorry I never explained the reasons for my weird behavior. I hope one day you will be able to understand and forgive me. I didn’t want anyone to go through the pain I felt.
I was given less than two months to live, but I wasn’t going to give up so easily. I tried my best to take care of all the people I loved. Only Daniel knew the truth, and not only because he was my best friend, rather because he was a man a
nd could handle the situation better than you or Kassie. Don’t blame him for anything; it wasn’t his truth to reveal.
Now that I’m not there with you anymore, I want you to know that even in my afterlife I will never stop loving you. However, I want you to stop loving me. I know it won’t be easy, but please do it for me. Live, fall in love again and be happy. Even if I’m not there to share that happiness with you. Don’t be afraid of taking the next step in your life; move on and never stop dreaming. I’m sure one day your dreams will come true. And I will help you as much I will be able to…
Too bad I have to finish this letter now, even though I still have so many things to tell you. Please, forgive me for everything that I did wrong as well as for everything that I didn’t manage to do. You’ve always been all that I ever asked for…
P.S. Make sure my best friend doesn’t screw up his life. :)
Yours forever,
Adrian
Chapter 18
I didn’t notice the moment I fell asleep. I had been waiting for Emily to finish reading the letter, but she never knocked at my door. I didn’t want to come out, knowing that she wasn’t ready to talk. So, when I woke up the next morning and saw her sleeping next to me, I was surprised; I missed her coming to my room.
She was still holding Adrian’s letter in her hands and I wondered if I did the right thing giving it to her. I sure as hell didn’t want her to keep reading it for the rest of her life.
I reached my hand over and removed a hair that clung to her cheek. Apparently, she had cried herself to sleep.
A few moments later, she opened her eyes and stared at me without saying a word.
“Shall I hide, or run away, or call for help?” I asked, hoping she wouldn’t slap me for my jokes.
She shook her head, moving closer to me. I put my arms around her and kissed her forehead. I didn’t know what else to say or do to make her feel at least a little better.
“Did he leave anything for you?” Emily asked after a few silent minutes.
“Yes. He left letters for you, Kassie and me.”