“I don’t think I’ve lost the fire.”
He grinned. “You can’t shit a bullshitter, McCoy, but I admire you for trying. The other silver lining is you’ve got real competition now.”
She raised her eyebrow.
“Wade will take Vince’s old spot, and he’s gunning for you.”
“He hasn’t been on the job very long.”
“Nope. He just beat your record for quickest promotion.” He didn’t look any happier about that statement than Nic felt.
She clenched her jaw to hold in a smart remark.
“I know you don’t like him, and honestly I don’t care for him either. He’s got all the breeding and none of the class. He feels like that job is rightfully his, and he intends to take it. You remember how that feels?”
“I’m starting to,” she said through gritted teeth.
“Good.” He stood to signal this discussion had ended.
The conversation was as close to a pep talk as she’d ever gotten from him, but he hadn’t said he believed in her. He hoped she’d win, but he seemed to place the odds at fifty percent, and if she failed he already had her successor in place. If this meeting was supposed to jump-start her ambition, it had only partially succeeded. A fire burned inside her again, though not from drive so much as anger. She’d given up her dream home for an efficiency apartment and her country-club membership for burgers and late nights at the office. Now she had to fight against a man ten years younger who had no skills but all the connections. On top of everything, she was lonely in a way that weighed on her muscles and ached in her bones. It felt like the start of her career all over again, except this time she would have to face the challenge alone.
Chapter Thirteen
Davis paced at the top of her stairs. In the twenty-four hours since she’d seen Annabelle, she’d thought of little else. She’d had to fight hard to keep from calling Cass to ask about their meeting. She didn’t want to seem obsessed. She wasn’t obsessed. She had no reason to be. Curious, maybe, but if she spent all day and part of the night worrying about Annabelle and her life now, that would be unhealthy. Plus it would mean she still had some tie to Nic, and she absolutely wouldn’t allow that. She had enough concerns of her own without piling someone else’s grief on top. Misery might love company, but she wasn’t miserable any more. Mostly she felt numb. Maybe that was the problem. Perhaps she could block all the awful emotions in herself, but she couldn’t prevent Annabelle from feeling them. Was she using her as some sort of surrogate for all the issues she’d refused to deal with? Oh, God, she should probably call a life coach or something.
No, she needed to calm down. She wasn’t obsessed or lost in some sort of psychological transference. She simply wanted a little assurance Annabelle was okay, and she hadn’t sought her out or stalked her to get answers. She had an honest, coincidental connection to her. It would be weird not to inquire, and that’s why she threw open her front door as soon as she heard Cass’s approaching footsteps.
“Hello, darling. To what do I owe this eager and fully clothed welcome?”
“I’m just looking forward to going to the park with you.”
“Really? The park? Me? Or are you hoping for word on a certain blue-eyed, blond-haired, domestic goddess?”
Damn, Cass knew her too well. Still, she didn’t want to admit to herself how frantic she was for information, so she played it as cool as she could while still being honest. “I am intrigued about your meeting, but can we walk and talk because I really do want to get outside.”
“Sure, it’s only one hundred degrees now, so of course the Vampire Queen suddenly shows an interest in the outside world.”
“Did you come over here to bitch or to go for a walk?” Davis snapped. She didn’t want to answer these questions.
“Oh, honey, why choose? I can do both at the same time, but I applaud your little show of backbone.”
Davis rolled her eyes, but it did feel good to be back out with her best friend of her own free will. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d looked forward to something. So what if that something was a chat about her ex-lover’s ex-wife?
“What brought about this little power surge of yours? Yesterday when I left, you were cowering in a doorway and talking about wanting to go back to bed.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. It’s not like I’ve had a personality change overnight.” She wasn’t exactly exuding positivity. As much as she wanted to hear about Annabelle, she also dreaded it. What if she was a wreck? What if she hated her? What if she was completely fine, proving herself stronger than Davis and making her feel inadequate for continuing to wallow in her jadedness?
“No, you’re still surly, and judging by the shadows under your eyes, you’re keeping horrendous hours, but there’s something else there.” Cass paused and regarded her closely. “It’s interest.”
“I’m not interested in Annabelle in the way you’re implying.”
“I didn’t imply that at all, but your need to get defensive makes me wonder. I only meant you showed an interest in another person or thing or feeling outside the little shell you’ve been in. You’ve spent months glassy-eyed and walled off in your cave trying to avoid everything that might spark any real emotion in you.”
“I have not.” Davis didn’t know why she bothered lying.
“You don’t go any place you might run into someone you used to know. You don’t watch TV or movies that might stir a memory. You haven’t engaged in any task other than the ones absolutely necessary to your survival since everything fell apart.”
“You’re overly dramatic. And if you remember correctly, I agreed to come out with you tonight before we saw Annabelle.”
“Yes, but you weren’t looking forward to it. You agreed only to appease me.”
She didn’t answer. Instead she turned toward the park and picked up her pace slightly. Why did Cass have to be right all the time? Maybe she hadn’t let herself take an interest in anything to protect herself, or maybe nothing had been interesting enough to reach her since Nic. Either way, what did it say about her that Annabelle had been the one to break that spell?
“She’s okay, you know?” Cass said softly. “She’s not happy or thriving, but she’s all right.”
Davis swallowed and nodded, slowing her pace so Cass could fall in easily beside her. Relief tinged her sadness to learn Annabelle had fared just about the way she had. Her life had gone on, another thing they had in common.
“She’s stubborn, insisting on standing on her own two feet, but I think she’s got what it takes.”
Davis didn’t find it hard to believe that Annabelle was stubborn or independent. If anything, the news strengthened Davis’s connection to her since they’d chosen similar methods of coping. “Did she find a place to live?”
“Yes, a nice little efficiency on…” Cass paused for a second as if reconsidering. “On a nice street.”
“Good.” She didn’t know what else to ask. She wasn’t sure what she even wanted to know. Annabelle was stable. What had happened between Nic and Davis had changed her life but didn’t destroy it. What more did she really need to know? “Thanks for helping her.”
“It’s business, darling. I don’t know the woman from Eve.”
“Right.” Neither did Davis. Well, maybe she knew her a little better than Eve, what with their insanely passionate kiss, but that’s where their association ended. What more could there be between them? She’d gotten the information she’d wanted. Annabelle was fine. She had a job, a place to live, and the drive to support herself. Davis could move on.
So why was she still thinking about her?
She had no reason to wonder if her blue eyes were clear of tears now, or if she was even more beautiful without the mask of anguish across her delicate features. She certainly had no right to think about how she’d greet her if they ran into each other.
“So are we going to the park?” Cass asked cautiously.
“What?” She
pulled herself back into the moment and realized she’d stopped walking. Once again she stood on that fateful corner, thinking about the woman whose very existence had shattered her dreams, trying to convince herself to move on. “Sorry, yeah. Let’s go.”
“Really, because if you want to skip the park and go right to drinking a nice Riesling, I wouldn’t argue.”
She smiled and shook her head. “Not going to happen.”
Cass slipped her arm around Davis’s waist and gave her a little squeeze. “Good. I like a woman who makes me work for my fun.”
“I’m sorry I haven’t been that kind of girl lately. I’ve made you do plenty of work but never let you have any fun.”
“If you expect me to say it’s okay, you’re woefully mistaken, but I expect you to snap out of this funk any day now, and when you do, I want to be around to see it.”
She rested her head on Cass’s shoulder as they strolled through the city. Maybe things would get better. With Annabelle settled, she did feel a modicum of relief. She could pack that part of the disaster into a neat little box of resolved issues. Perhaps the closure could jump-start her own recovery. She didn’t have Cass’s optimism, but at least now she was willing to consider the possibility.
*
Annabelle and Liz left the apartment and walked down Myrtle. The heat was still insane at seven in the evening, and the humid air didn’t move nearly as well as it did in the suburbs. She’d put on capri pants and a peach-colored Polo shirt, but by the time they’d crossed the street she was already sweating. Liz looked cooler in her khaki shorts and baby-blue T-shirt. She would do better in the city. She’d always been more free-spirited, but as fate would have it, she was the one with a family and roots in the country, while Annabelle, ever the homebody, was off on her own far from home. Life could be as funny as it was unfair, and she’d stopped trying to make sense of it. She used to think things happened for a reason, but now she didn’t think about greater plans or even anything beyond her immediate future. She could only afford to focus on setting up her apartment.
“I can’t believe your realtor found you that place,” Liz said about the apartment. “She’s gay?”
She paused, trying to process the non sequitur. “My realtor?”
“Yeah.”
“I think so. She never said so, but she made a reference to my landlord enjoying her company.”
“Your landlord is gay, too? Is that why you got the place? Family discount?”
“I suppose it’s possible, but this is Midtown Atlanta. Half the neighborhood is gay. I don’t know why Cassandra went out of her way for me.” She recalled the moment when she’d seen something sincere, something personal, under her impeccable business front. “I got the sense she felt a connection with me, but we weren’t supposed to talk about it.”
“Right, totally secret-handshake deal, but anyone who sees that place is immediately going to know you couldn’t afford the rent on your own. They’ll assume Daddy pays for it.”
“Let them think what they want. I’ve had people think a lot worse about me lately. Even Mama had the nerve to suggest that if I found a nice young man I could avoid going through this again.”
“Oh, yeah, like that worked so well for me.” Liz rolled her eyes. “You find whoever trips your trigger.”
“I need to find myself first, because no one is tripping anything for me now.”
“Well, like you said, you’re in a new world here. Gay landlord, gay realtor, gay bookstore on the corner. You never know who might spark your interest,” Liz said. “You’ll turn heads all over the gayborhood.”
Annabelle smiled at her sister’s confidence, wishing she could share it. She hadn’t felt so much as a spark of attraction since Nic had left, and she didn’t see herself inspiring something in anyone else if she couldn’t even feel it herself. “You’re good for my self-esteem.”
“Good, but I’m serious,” Liz said with a not-so-subtle nod to two women approaching them. “I think the blonde up there is checking you out right now.”
She glanced ahead and noticed Cassandra walking toward them with her arm around a woman who focused her attention on her to the exclusion of everyone else around them. Cassandra, on the other hand, had noticed their approach and studied her with concern creasing her brow. “No, that’s my realtor, and…” Suddenly the other woman looked up, sending a lancing shot of recognition through her. “And Davis.”
“Nic’s Davis?”
The label still sent a terrible stab of pain through her chest, but she nodded. Liz squeezed her hand in support, but the move couldn’t compete with the emotion tightening around her throat. Fear, embarrassment, jealousy, and sadness filtered in through her initial shock. Sure, she knew Davis lived around here, but so did thousands of others. Why did they have to run into each other? And what was she doing with Cassandra?
Her vision blurred again, but she stood her ground. She wouldn’t faint this time. She wouldn’t run away either, the way she’d slipped out of Davis’s bed. Blush burned her cheeks hotter than the summer sun as she remembered untangling herself from Davis’s arms. She could feel the strength and caring of their embrace as she met her hypnotic green eyes once again.
“Do you want me to cut her?”
“What?”
“The home wrecker,” Liz growled through clenched teeth. “Should I jump her?”
“Oh, my good Lord.” She glanced away from Davis long enough to see her sister’s eyes had narrowed with the dangerous focus usually witnessed in jungle cats. “Don’t even think about it.”
“But she—”
“She didn’t know.”
“But if she hadn’t—”
“Then someone else would have.”
“Damn it, you wouldn’t let any of us kill Nic. Now you’re protecting her mistress?”
“Yes, I am.”
Liz sighed. “Why can’t you act like a woman scorned for a few minutes?”
With her sister’s claws retracted for the time being, Annabelle turned her attention back to Davis and Cassandra, who approached at a slower but steady pace, their arms wrapped around each other’s waists. Were they a couple, or was Davis using her as an anchor to her own flight instinct? She hoped for the latter, but she couldn’t pinpoint why. Davis was certainly entitled to move on. Just because losing Nic had shattered Annabelle’s confidence didn’t mean it had to wreck hers, too. Davis seemed like a strong, independent woman, the kind of woman she wanted to be, but she remembered too clearly the anguish she’d seen in her eyes. That kind of betrayal wasn’t overcome lightly. Then again she also remembered the ferocity of Davis’s kiss. Any woman capable of passion like that probably wouldn’t remain single for long. She and Cassandra certainly shared a powerful aesthetic. Women like them probably gravitated toward each other.
“Hi,” Davis said shyly, her voice revealing an uncertainty she didn’t show.
“Hi.”
“How are you?” She asked the question with genuine concern and a hint of self-consciousness, but none of the pity Annabelle had grown accustomed to.
“I’m doing all right.” It was the simplest version of the truth, and she wouldn’t go into the more complicated version, not here, not now, maybe not ever with Davis.
“Good.”
The silence stretched while Annabelle searched for her manners. “How are you?”
“About the same.”
“Good.” They stood, suspended in each other’s gaze, seemingly unable to think of anything else to say, but equally unable to move on. Liz and Cassandra had no such trouble and promptly introduced themselves to each other.
“I’m sorry. Davis, this is my sister, Liz. Liz, this is…Davis.” She didn’t dare try to explain their relationship to each other. She didn’t have to. It hung over them all, and they all knew it. Another piece of the puzzle fell into place. Cassandra must have known who she was all along. Was Davis the friend she owed a favor? Did she know the whole story? None of them would ever know the whol
e story, but did she know about the kiss?
“Annabelle just showed me her new apartment.”
“Oh, did you get the keys?”
“I take possession tomorrow, but they let me show it off tonight. Thank you again for rushing the paperwork.”
“I’m glad it went to someone who will appreciate it,” Cass said.
“Do you live around here?” Liz asked Davis, her voice falling short of suspicious, but not by much.
“I do. I’m just a block up.”
“So you’re neighbors?”
“Are we?” Davis sounded surprised. Maybe Cassandra hadn’t told her everything.
“Her apartment faces west off Myrtle,” Cassandra said, sounding about as pleased with that fact as Liz did. Was that what she’d been thinking when she’d stared out that window? Maybe the two of them were a couple. The thought turned her stomach. Right or wrong, she couldn’t stand the thought of watching them recover happily while she struggled in her own loneliness. Life wasn’t a race, but she didn’t need that kind of mirror to her lack of progress.
“Wow, I guess I’ll probably see you around.”
“I guess so,” Annabelle said, forcing a smile and wondering how Davis felt about their proximity. Would having Annabelle close by feel like rubbing salt in her wounds, or were they healed over now?
“Great, well, then we’ll let you get back to your evening and just see you around,” Cassandra said, nudging Davis, who looked like she might have more to say, but with a quick glance to their companions thought better of it.
“Right, we don’t want to hold you up,” Liz added. “Have a good evening.”
Annabelle wanted to say something more, something meaningful, something to express a hint of the feelings splitting her open. Instead she mumbled, “It’s good to see you.”
She’d taken about two steps before she felt Davis’s hand on her own. She stopped, her breath catching at the contact, and looked once again into her expressive eyes. A rush of questions passed unspoken between them.
Does She Love You? Page 18