He smiled when Emma grabbed his finger, not letting go. “Smart-ass. I’ll be fine. I have to run. I promised Jackson I’d stop by the community center today.” He loved working with the kids at the center, and every time he was in town, he made sure to put some time aside for them. Whatever city they were in, he always tried to visit one. If he could change the life of at least one kid, some of the burden and guilt he carried seemed lighter. It made his past, and the hell he went through, seem relevant, like it happened for a reason.
“Those kids are lucky to have you in their lives.”
But it was the other way around for Sam. Talking with the kids and knowing that maybe, just maybe, he could help them gave him more peace than anything else.
“I wish I could do more to help them out,” he told her honestly. Maybe it was the time to talk to the guys about getting involved more, maybe donating some money as a band.
“I’m sure if you asked those kids, they would tell you that you do more for them than you think you do. You should talk to the guys about this, Sam. They’re your family. They would support you.”
Deep down in his soul, he knew she was right, but opening up to the guys about his past still scared the shit out of him.
“I’ll think about it. I have to go. Take care of my goddaughter.”
He kissed Emma once more before heading back downstairs. After messing around in the studio with Jarrod and getting some tracks down for the new song, he felt like his world had stopped spinning.
“You okay, man?” Jarrod asked him as they walked outside.
“Yeah, I’m good. Just working through some stuff.” He knew lying would serve no purpose, but being vague was the best he could do for the time being.
“I love you like a brother, Sam. You’re the one who made me see the light with Trish. I hate seeing you like this.”
“I’m fine, Jar. I have to run now. Catch you later.” He climbed in his truck, cranked up the radio, and drove to the one place on Earth he could be his fucked-up self.
When Sam pulled up to the community center, the first thing he noticed was the kids playing basketball on the new court he’d donated money for. There was a sense of accomplishment in knowing that, by making a small donation, he had the power to change someone’s life. That was the one thing he loved about having so much money—the ability to give back. He never understood people who had a lot but didn’t donate.
What’s the point of buying a bunch of stuff? It’s not like you can take it with you when you go.
He was almost at the front door when he heard someone yelling his name. Turning around, he saw Michael, a fourteen-year-old runaway who had been living at the center for months now. The kid reminded him so much of himself at that age, which was probably why Sam had grown so attached to him.
They had built a bond from the first time they met, and seeing how well the kid was doing was all the thanks he would ever need. “Hey, Michael, what’s up?”
“Just wanted to let you know that I got the hang of that track you gave me last week. Maybe we can play before you leave, if you have time.”
A few weeks back, Sam had given him a guitar and some chords to learn, and surprisingly, the kid was talented.
“Sure thing, buddy. I just have to talk to Jackson, but then I’m all yours.”
The kid would never say how happy he was, but his eyes gave him away. He shrugged, smiling at Sam like he was a hero. “Cool.”
Sam walked through the center, smiling at all the renovations and improvements he had managed to fund. It wasn’t much compared to what the staff was doing on a daily basis, but he did what he could to make their lives easier. Jackson’s office had a view of the entire center, so it didn’t surprise him when the man met him halfway.
“Hey, Sam, how are you?” The man worked eighty hours a week trying to give these kids the best chance possible. He was overworked and underpaid, yet he never complained, and that passion was what had drawn Sam to the center in the first place. He respected the hell out of him.
“I’m good. The place looks great.” He shook Jackson’s hand and walked beside him to the office, taking in the kids playing around the area.
“Thanks to you. That donation really saved us. I’d usually say it was too much money, but you won’t hear me complain this time. We really needed it.” He closed the door to his office and sat down behind his desk, looking exhausted.
“I’m just happy I could help. How are things looking?”
“Better, but the battle isn’t done. The state pulled our annual funding due to cutbacks. It’s happening all around the country. I don’t know how we’ll manage to stay open without it.”
A wave of disappointment and anger at the thought that these kids could potentially lose the one place that gave them a safe haven to just be kids hit Sam hard. “Shit, I’m sorry. Is there anything I can do?”
“Not unless you plan on funding fifty community centers across the country. We’ll figure it out. We always do.”
On his drive home, Sam thought about what the man had said about funding the centers. Then it hit him that maybe, just maybe, he could convince the other guys to get involved.
ASHLEE
Ashlee sat in her small office, exhausted and drained of any energy her body could conjure up. Looking at the pile of files and paperwork on her desk didn’t help her fight the feeling that she was getting ridiculously close to a burnout. Running a small consulting firm was more work than most people could ever imagine, especially when your specialty was nonprofit work.
Eight years ago, when she started her company, she had high hopes that she could make a difference. To an extent, she had, but lately the drag of clients yelling at her and being angry at her for the state of the economy was taking its toll.
“Ashlee, are you okay?”
She looked at her assistant, Rebecca, who had been with her since the beginning, and she couldn’t even muster a fake smile.
“I’m just exhausted.” Ashlee ran her fingers through her hair, rubbing her scalp, hoping to dissolve the migraine building inside her skull. The last couple of weeks had been brutal, with extensive traveling and long hours to finish a client’s project on time.
“Maybe you should take a week off and recharge the batteries.”
She laughed at Rebecca’s words; she couldn’t even remember when she’d last taken time off.
“It’s not just the workload. It’s all the bullshit that comes with it. I feel like I’m drowning trying to make clients happy. I started this company to make a difference, and now I’m spending more time doing paperwork than helping people.”
“You’ve been through a lot in the last few months, Ashlee. There’s nothing wrong with taking some time to think about what you want to do next.”
She knew Rebecca was right. The last few months had been more than a little rough, with her father passing away and her mom being diagnosed with cancer. She felt like everything was crashing down around her and she couldn’t hold on to anything.
“Maybe you’re right. I’m probably just beat over this last contract. It was brutal.” And that wasn’t a complete lie. Her last client had been more than a little difficult, and the contract that was supposed to take forty hours ended up being more like a hundred.
“Give yourself some breathing room, Ashlee. You’ve earned it.”
She couldn’t deny that her assistant had a valid point, but she couldn’t take time to even breathe at the moment. Hospital bills didn’t pay themselves and she couldn’t let her mom down; she was the only family Ashlee had left.
The alarm on her phone sounded, reminding her that she needed to go to the hospital to visit her mom.
If she managed to get three hours of sleep a night between work and taking care of her mom, she was lucky. “I have to go to the hospital. Forward any important calls to my cell, and when you’re done with the final reports, take the rest of the day off. You’ve earned it.”
“I won’t argue with that.”
She was thankful to have Rebecca in her life. No one could make sense of her life more than she could, and Ashlee knew she would be lost without her. She waved good-bye as she left her office, heading straight for the coffee shop around the corner before going to the hospital.
Ashlee had to wait twenty minutes to speak to a nurse about her mom since they were in the middle of a shift change. After being briefed on the progress of her mother’s treatment for her lung infection, Ashlee headed for her mom’s room, feeling the ache inside her that appeared every time she saw her mom in that hospital bed looking so fragile, a shadow of the woman she once was.
“Hey, Mom. How are you doing today?” She kissed her mom on the cheek before setting down her coffee and the bag of fresh clothes on the table beside the window.
“Hey, sweetie. I’m getting better. Well, at least that’s what they tell me.”
She took the time to really look at her mom, and she had to admit that she did look a little better. But it was still a very long road ahead.
“I talked to the nurse. She said your lung infection was getting much better, so that’s good.” She emptied one of the glasses and filled it up with fresh water, fluffing the blankets and pillows as she went.
“They’re taking good care of me. You don’t have to come see me every day. I know how busy you are.”
Ashlee knew she should tell her mom about the money problems, but she couldn’t stand the idea of worrying her more than she had to, so she decided to keep that little piece of information to herself. “I want to come see you every day, Mom. I brought you some clean clothes from home, and I got you two new books.”
“Thank you, sweetie.” Her mom grabbed her hand, and Ashlee had to fight back the tears threatening to overflow from her eyes.
“You’re welcome, Mom.”
“How are you doing? You look tired.”
Leave it to Mom to ask about me when she’s the one fighting cancer and a bunch of different infections.
“I’m fine. Just tired from finishing a contract.”
“Are you sure you’re okay?” The concern in her mom’s voice was a pinch to her heart. Ashlee hugged and smiled at her, trying to hide the pain she felt seeing her mom so small and fragile.
Her skin was pale and cold, but there was no way she was letting her see any of the concern that ached her heart. “Don’t worry about me. I’m fine. Just a little tired, and I have a lot on my mind.”
“You can still talk to me, you know. Just because I’m in this bed doesn’t mean I can’t still be your mother and give you advice when you need it.”
“Oh, Mom, I know. I’m okay, really.”
Ashlee spent over two hours at the hospital before heading home, drained both physically and emotionally when she pulled in her driveway.
When she walked inside and turned on the lights, she smiled at how peaceful she felt whenever she was there. It wasn’t much, but the small two-bedroom house was home.
She started dinner and poured herself a glass of wine, but before she could enjoy the first sip of the pinot noir, her phone rang from inside her purse. She grabbed it, smiling when she saw who was calling.
“Hey, Trish, what’s up?” Trish was one of her oldest friends. One of the best publicists in the country, she had handled the PR for the launch of one of Ashlee’s charity projects, and they’d been friends ever since.
“Hey, Ashlee. I’m doing great. Just enjoying being a new mom. What about you? How are things in Atlanta?”
“Same old, same old. Work and more work.” She hated being asked that. The truth of the matter was work was all she had time for; how pathetic did that make her? She was twenty-eight years old, single, and she couldn’t even remember the last time she’d had sex.
“How’s your mom?” That simple question had her choking up with all the emotions she’d been keeping under wraps. No one needed her to have a breakdown; they needed her to be strong. The one problem with that was she didn’t know how much longer she could keep this charade up without landing herself in her own hospital bed.
“She’s tough, hanging in there,” she said, her voice probably giving away more than she wanted to.
“Good, good. I’ll have to go see her soon. I’ll bring Jarrod with me.”
Ashlee laughed at the image of her mom’s face seeing Jarrod Banks in her hospital room. She wouldn’t believe it. “Oh, she’ll love that. The sexiest man alive in her room? She’ll be the envy of all the patients and nurses.” They both laughed because they knew Jarrod would eat it all up. He was one of the kindest and most understanding people she knew, but he could turn up the charm like nobody else.
“Oh, you know how he loves to please the ladies.”
Ashlee smiled at how happy her friend sounded, but she couldn’t help but feel a little jealous of what Trish had found with Jarrod. She wanted that so much for herself, but it didn’t seem like it was in the cards for her. “You love him for it.”
“Yes, I do…. So listen, the reason I’m calling is to ask if you’re taking on new clients.”
“Depends on what you have in mind.” The last thing she wanted to talk about was work and the possibility of taking on new clients, but Trish was a good friend, so she sucked it up and played nice.
“Well, every year, the guys choose a charity to align themselves with. This year, Sam is going to try to talk them into starting something of their own, and I thought it might be something you’d like to be a part of.”
Just the mention of Sam Brooks had her skin tingling and her cheeks turning red. The man was perfection—short brownish hair, a year-round beard she wished she could feel between her thighs, the body of a god, and tattoos that made her mouth water. But it was the man’s philanthropic commitments that made him the total package in her eyes. His heart was so much bigger than what he let the world see. The man was a mystery, that was for sure. “Oh, my God. Are you kidding me? I would love to be a part of this.”
“I thought so. Sam is pretty irresistible.”
Ashlee could picture the smile on her friend’s face, knowing she also wore a matching one. Every time she’d been in the same room as Sam Brooks, she felt like a stupid teenager.
“I plead the fifth on that one.” She didn’t know why she even bothered trying to hide her attraction to Sam when they had talked about it a million times. Sam was just one of those men you were drawn to, no matter what. Every time she ran into him at a charity function, her heart went into overdrive. He had asked her out a couple of times, but she’d declined every time. There was something about dating someone in the public eye that scared her.
“That’s what they all say. The guys are meeting tomorrow to talk about it, so I’ll call you when they make their decision.”
“Sounds good. Thanks for thinking of me.”
“You’re the best, Ashlee. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”
Well, this day just got better. The thought of working with Sam and the rest of the band gave her an energy boost she hadn’t felt in a long time.
Chapter Two
SAM
Sam wasn’t the type of man who got nervous when it came time to bring something up to the rest of the band, but that morning as he made his way to Jarrod’s house, he couldn’t shake his nerves. After his visit with Jackson, he couldn’t sleep, his brain working overtime trying to find a way to help. After calling Trish and brainstorming the idea of Saints and Sinners launching their own charitable project to support the centers, he’d been able to get a little rest, knowing he might be able to help more kids.
He knew asking the guys to consider starting their own charity to help fund community centers around the country wasn’t a small ask or a slight financial commitment—not that money was an issue for any of them. It was a big deal, and yeah, he might not know a lot about what it took to start a charity, but he could take a guess at the amount of work needed to make something like that happen. But Sam wasn’t afraid of hard work.
Everyone sat around Jarrod’s living ro
om, and Sam senses the tension building within him as Jarrod started the meeting. “Okay, so let’s try and keep this as short as possible because I have a cranky wife and baby upstairs. Do we have any ideas about the charity selection for this year?”
Supporting a charity by donating a percentage of their ticket sales was something they’d been doing for years. Ever since money started coming in, they’d made the commitment; it was their own way of giving back. But today could change how they did things.
Sam waited to see if anyone would speak up, and when he looked at Jarrod, he knew Trish had told her husband about his plans. Damn, that woman couldn’t keep a secret to save her life. Jarrod gave him a silent nod to go ahead, and his heart rate accelerated.
“You guys know I’ve been doing a lot of work with the community center in town and their affiliates around the country. I stopped by yesterday to talk with the executive director, and he mentioned the state was pulling their funding and that he didn’t know how long they would be able to stay open. These kids have nowhere else to go. This is it for them. If these centers close, these kids are gonna end up on the streets, doing drugs and probably not living to see their eighteenth birthday. We’ve talked about getting in deeper with our philanthropy, so maybe it’s time we consider starting our own charity, or at least a charitable initiative, and help these centers.” Sam held his breath, waiting to hear what the guys had to say. They were all making him wait for it.
“Well shit, man, it took you long enough to bring it up.”
He stared at Mike, shocked by his friend’s comment. “What are you talking about?” He looked at the guys sitting around him, his brothers, and he realized they were already in before he’d even spoken.
“Listen, man, we’ve known about you wanting to do this for a long-ass time, but no one wanted to push it until you brought it up. We’re not stupid, Sam. We see how important the centers are to you, and even if you won’t tell us why you spend so much time and give them so much money, we’re your family. If this is what you want to do, then we’ll support you 100 percent.”
Saved by the Music (Saints & Sinners Book 2) Page 2