A straight answer—another thing about her that he was falling for. In his world, the amount of lies people told were unimaginable, but with Ashlee, everything was so real, so honest he couldn’t get enough. “Then yes, I did talk to Trish about you.”
“What did you find out?”
He could see the wheels turning in her pretty little head. She was trying to figure out what kind of dirt her friend had given him, but he wasn’t about to spill his newfound information. “That’s for me to know and for you to find out, honey. Now eat.”
The rest of their breakfast was spent making small talk and discussing the band’s upcoming ten-day stretch on the road. When he suggested she come with them, he was surprised when she said yes, but he couldn’t deny that it made him happy to know he wouldn’t have to say good-bye just yet. Being on the road was one of his favorite things about being a musician, but as he got older, the thought of being alone and not sharing his life with someone had started to weigh on his mind. Plus, now that Jarrod had his own bus for Trish and the baby, things wouldn’t be the same. He didn’t mind the change though; rather, he embraced it.
They were cleaning up his mess when she came up behind him and pressed her hand to his back. Her body’s heat bounced off his, and he wanted to haul her ass on the counter and taste her. He turned around to face her and saw the same heat in her eyes. They stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity, and when she finally broke the spell and looked away from him, he knew they had just shared a moment they would never forget.
“Would you mind if I went to see Trish this morning before we leave for bus call? I know we said we were going to work, so I don’t have to go.” Vulnerability chased her words. He wondered if it was because of the moment they had just shared or if she was uncomfortable asking something for herself. He made a mental note to bring it up later.
“I don’t mind at all. You’ve been working your ass off since you got here. I’m not a tyrant, Ashlee.”
She wrapped a strand of her hair around her finger, another tell that she was uncomfortable with the conversation. Over the last few days, he’d noticed her doing it when she became nervous about his reactions to something.
It was what she said next that really got to him more than anything. “I just don’t want you to think I’m slacking off.”
The woman worked harder than most executives he knew. She had to know that he respected her work ethic and admired her devotion to her work, but he wasn’t a slave driver.
“I could never think that,” he said, closing the distance between them. He knew he should give her the space she’d asked for, but the pull was too strong.
She blushed, and he loved making her body respond to him like that. “Thank you. I haven’t seen Emma yet, and I’m dying to hold that little girl.”
“She’s beautiful, just like her mom, but she has her dad’s attitude.” He smiled at the way Emma had Jarrod wrapped around her little finger.
“It’s so strange to see them together… married and parents… I mean, who would’ve thought it would finally happen after all those years?” She laughed and he couldn’t help himself; he wrapped one arm around her waist and tugged her flush against him. She rested her head over his heart and he just stayed like that for a few minutes, holding her, feeling her relax under his touch.
When she pulled back, he couldn’t quite make out the look in her eyes, but judging by how she was putting distance between them, he assumed the moment had the same effect on her as it had on him.
Neutral ground… he needed to get back on neutral ground before he lost her. “I know what you mean. Seeing them go around each other for years was like watching a bad soap opera, but they had a lot of shit to work through before they could get to where they are now.”
“Do you see yourself wanting what they have one day?” Well, that wasn’t what he was expecting her to say at all. For someone who was trying her hardest to keep things strictly professional, she sure was getting personal now. Not that he minded one bit; he loved that she wanted to get to know him because it meant she was feeling part of what he was.
The uncertainty of how he would reply was written all over her face, but if she thought that question would send him running, she had another thing coming. He wasn’t hiding from her, no matter how badly she wanted him to. He wanted her to know that if she gave him a chance, he would be right there to take it, and that meant opening up to her. “It’s something I want, but for the longest time I didn’t think I deserved it.”
“What do you mean?” She leaned against the counter, listening to him like he was about to give her a secret message.
“There’s a lot about me that you don’t know, Ashlee. I have a lot of baggage, and it’s not pretty. For a long time, I didn’t think I deserved the kind of happiness Jarrod found with Trish, but now I feel like it could happen for me.” This was a door he wasn’t ready to open with her just yet—hell, he was barely comfortable opening it for himself.
He knew he was setting himself up for an intense line of questioning when he decided to play with fire, but to his surprise, she didn’t push him for something he wasn’t ready to give. “I know a thing or two about baggage, trust me. But the one thing I know without a doubt when it comes to you is that you deserve to be happy. You deserve to have someone who loves you unconditionally, and you deserve to have a family. You’re more than just your baggage, Sam.”
“You’re something else, you know that, Ashlee Daniels?” Her words played in his head. What kind of baggage did this woman have? She seemed so free that he couldn’t picture her having anything heavy weighing her down, anything that held her back, but he knew a thing a two about putting on a good game face.
“Not really. I’m just an average girl.” She shrugged off his comments like she truly didn’t believe she was something extraordinary, but that wasn’t going to work for him. He needed her to understand just how amazing she really was.
He walked over and took her face in his hands. Tracing circles on her cheeks with his thumbs, he felt her shiver under his touch. “Honey, there’s nothing average about you.”
She might not want to let things get personal, but her body told a different story by the way she leaned in to him. “I should finish getting ready.” But she stayed in his arms for a few more minutes. He wasn’t about to point out the fact that she was hanging on to him like a lifeline.
After a little while, she slowly moved away, and he jumped in before she could feel awkward. “I’ll drive you to Jarrod and Trish’s. I have some new stuff I want to show him, so it works out perfectly.”
ASHLEE
When she woke that morning, the last thing Ashlee expected was to find Sam cooking breakfast for her, but she had to admit, she was more than touched by the gesture. He had a way of doing little things for her that made her heart tingle. He would fill her coffee cup while they worked so she wouldn’t have to get up, he’d cooked dinner every night since she’d arrived in Nashville, and he made sure she felt appreciated. And God, did she ever; if anything, she was probably feeling it a little too much. Every day, she fell harder for him, and she didn’t know what to make of that.
Working closely with someone on a passion project always gave her the chance to get to know that person intimately, and the one thing she came to realize about Sam was that he cared about everyone in his life. He was also carrying some heavy history, something she knew about a little too well. As much as she wanted him to tell her, she knew better than to push. He would tell her when he was ready, just like she would eventually tell him about her own issues.
It was close to 9:00 a.m. by the time they pulled up to Jarrod and Trish’s. Their house was beautiful but as much as she loved the modern feel of it, she’d choose Sam’s home a million times over theirs. There was something so heartfelt about his house that a modern-type home just didn’t awaken in her. “This is beautiful, but I still like your place better,” she told him as they pulled up.
“Really?” Th
e look on his face was so cute, like he really didn’t believe she loved his house, and that made her smile. As assertive and proud as the man sitting next to her was, he had this vulnerability that she loved.
“Yes. Now let’s go inside because I’m dying to hold that baby.” She was out of his truck before he could say anything else. She didn’t want to give him a chance to dig deeper into what she had said, and she knew if she gave him the chance, he would take it. Ashlee was still trying to process their earlier conversation, and the last thing she needed was to have another open-heart dialogue with the man she was having a hard time resisting.
They walked to the front door side by side, and the urge to slide her hand in his was unlike anything she had ever felt before. She fought it and slipped her hands in her jean pockets. Jarrod greeted them at the door looking like he hadn’t slept in days, but he still could’ve passed for one of People Magazine’s sexiest men alive. He gave her that smile women fell for, but he had nothing on Sam. “Hey, you two. Come on in.”
“You look like hell, man.”
She snickered at the way Sam teased the new dad. It was easy to see that the two of them had a friendship that ran deeper than most.
“You just wait until it’s your turn and your baby keeps you up all night. Then we’ll see how you look.”
The picture of Sam holding a little baby girl or boy warmed her heart and when she looked up at him, she saw the same emotions in his eyes. She knew she had to break the spell before it got out of control. “So, where is this little angel?”
“She’s upstairs with Trish. Go up, we’ll be in the studio if you need anything.” She watched the two men walk down the hallway and pinched herself because there was no way all this was actually happening to her. Was it?
She was falling in love with Sam Brooks.
Ashlee headed upstairs and let the sound of Emma’s giggles guide her way. When she reached the nursery, Trish was holding her daughter in a rocking chair, and she couldn’t believe how beautiful they both looked. Emma glanced her way and when the baby girl smiled at her, she was done for. There was just something about babies that made her heart melt.
Trish followed her daughter’s eyes and smiled when she saw Ashlee leaning against the door. “Hey, you. Come on now, I know you’re dying to hold her.”
That was all the invitation she needed. She took the baby from Trish’s arms and a wave of emotion swam through her body. “She’s so beautiful.”
“She is, isn’t she?” The unconditional love of a mother was all over Trish’s face; there was no denying how much she adored her daughter.
“It’s good to see you this happy,” Ashlee told her truthfully. After years of seeing Trish and Jarrod dance around each other, it was a wonderful sight.
“Well, lots of sex and being married to a hot rock star does have its perks.” They both laughed like teenagers, and even Emma joined the party.
“You’re so bad.” Ashlee sat in the rocking chair with Emma in her arms, thinking how she wanted this for herself. Just on cue, Trish asked the question on her mind. “How are things going between you and Sam?”
“They’re good. We’ve been getting a lot of work done.” She knew Trish wasn’t asking about work, not in the least, but it was worth a shot, right?
Her friend laughed and gave Ashlee a “give me a break” look that made her crack up. “Ashlee, this is me here. I’m not asking about work, and you know it.”
She sighed at the same time Emma wrapped her little fingers around a stray bit of her hair. “I know, I know. He’s great. More than great, actually. He’s so much more grounded than what I expected and he’s so attentive. I’m not used to that, and it freaks me out a little. Plus, he’s so freaking hot it’s not even funny. I mean, there’s only so much sex appeal someone can resist.”
“You have it bad.”
Boy, do I ever.
Emma pulled her hair with more force than she thought possible, the little pink bundle laughing like it was the funniest thing in the world, and Ashlee couldn’t force herself to pull her hair away.
She looked at Trish and realized her friend wanted more dirt, so she continued. “He got up before dawn this morning to make me breakfast, Trish. No one has ever made me breakfast before. He’s cooked dinner every night since I arrived, and there’s an ease to our conversations, and the tension is making it hard to focus on work.”
She watched Trish assess the situation, knowing that whatever her friend was about to say, it would most likely be a game changer. She hated not giving in to whatever she and Sam could have, but she couldn’t stand the possibility that he would break her heart—or worse, that he would think she was only after his money.
“I know what I’m about to say is probably the last thing you want to hear, but just listen for a minute. Sam is one of the sweetest and most genuine guys I have ever met, but he doesn’t show that side of himself to a lot of people. He’s been through some horrible things as a child and they still haunt him, Ashlee. He doesn’t date, and he doesn’t sleep around, so the fact that he invited you to stay in his home—which shocked every single one of us, mind you—is a big deal. I know you’re not used to being on the receiving end of someone’s attention, and that sucks, but that’s just the way he is. He has this built-in urge to protect and nurture, and Jarrod told me the way he looks at you. He’s not going to let you slip through his fingers. Plus, have you seen the man’s body? He’s like a Greek god or something.”
Leave it to Trish to tie up an overly emotional statement by something sexual to ease the intensity. Something she’d always been thankful for.
She looked at her friend, blushing like crazy. “You’re so bad, but I can’t argue with you there. Last night, we were working out together. When he took off his shirt, I almost fell off the treadmill.” The memory of him half naked and all sweaty made her body temperature climb through the roof.
“These guys, I tell you. They’re all genetically gifted.”
“How do you handle the fans?” she asked, knowing she would need help to deal with it if things ever went somewhere permanent with Sam.
Trish smiled at her. “You don’t pay any attention to them. You have to trust that your man loves you and respects you enough to walk away from temptation, and to never put himself in a situation where he has to walk away from it in the first place. It’s part of the job. We have to do the best we can in a fucked-up situation.”
“I guess we’ll see what I’m made of,” she said playfully.
“You’ll be fine, Ashlee. The fans, the spotlight, the glamour—it all gets put into a box that’s not our reality. Life is what we make it. Sam doesn’t do fans, so you never have to worry about that.”
SAM
He hadn’t realized just how much he’d missed being in the studio until that day. Working on new songs was one of his favorite things in the world. There was something peaceful, something he couldn’t explain when he created music. He loved it, even if waiting for the others’ reactions made him nervous as hell. It was the curse of an artist. It was one thing that never went away no matter how many number ones the band accumulated. Writing a song required him to bare his soul; it gave him an outlet to let his thoughts run free. And lately, between anger, fear, and a whole lot of lust, he had enough inspiration to pull from to create five albums.
“These new songs are fucking awesome.”
Sam leaned back on the leather sofa and smiled at Jarrod’s reaction to the new material, feeling a weight lifted from his shoulders. “I feel like we’ve got some good stuff for the new album.”
“Hell yeah, we do. So, how are you and Ashlee getting along?”
He should’ve known they were going to have this conversation. It was payback for all the times he crawled all over Jarrod’s ass when it came to Trish, and there was no escaping it.
“We’re going to go there, really?”
Jarrod laughed at him and fuck, he couldn’t be mad at the man for trying to get info out of him.
He had never allowed a woman so deep before. Sure, Ashlee was theoretically in his life for work, but anyone with a pair of eyes could see their relationship went much further than that. “Fuck yes, we are. I’ve never seen you look at a woman like you look at her, so yeah, we’re going there.”
“She’s so fucking out of my league, man.” He wasn’t just saying that to blow smoke. Ashlee wasn’t like any other woman he’d ever met. She was elegant yet down-to-earth, with a heart of gold. There was something so pure and true about her that he had no business tainting with his own shit.
“That’s bullshit, and you know it. She’s smart, funny, charismatic, compassionate, devoted, and passionate, all qualities you have, so don’t give me any bullshit about her being out of your league.” Jarrod rarely got angry, but Sam felt like his best friend was about to start blowing smoke out of his ears.
“Everything is just so fucked up right now, man. My dad’s parole hearing is coming up, and she has her mom to take care of.”
“Did you ever stop to think that you guys could help each other through all this?”
Did he think about it? That was practically all he thought about. How much easier it would all be if he had someone like Ashlee right there beside him. But no matter how hard he tried to convince himself that he needed to tell her about his past, he always found a hundred reasons not to.
“I want to tell her about my dad, I really fucking do, but there’s a chance that she’s going to run screaming once I tell her and I don’t think I could stand not having her in my life.”
“If you believe Ashlee Daniels is the kind of woman who would run, then you don’t know her half as well as you think you do. You think her life is all roses and champagne? Think again, man. That girl has been through hell and back, so trust me when I tell you that she’s having the same fucking doubts about telling you her story.”
Jarrod’s words hit him like a straight punch to the gut. What the hell am I missing here? “What are you talking about?”
Saved by the Music (Saints & Sinners Book 2) Page 7