by Steph Nuss
Anger filled my chest at their antics. “I didn’t insult her if that’s what you’re saying.”
“Well, I bet you didn’t make her feel wanted either,” Mav stated frankly.
Shaking my head, I wiped a hand down my face, completely overwhelmed by the turn of our conversation. I knew I didn’t have the experience the rest of the guys had, but I wasn’t a complete idiot when it came to women. Their comments and accusations caused a wave of anxiety to roll through me as I grew more frustrated. I recalled the last few weeks of living with her, and remembered the online dating, which just pissed me off more. “It doesn’t really matter now, does it? She’s my friend and roommate, and I don’t really want to screw either of those relationships up by making a move on her. That’s the last thing she needs right now as she goes on dates with complete strangers who are too self-involved to give two fucks about her!”
Silence greeted me as the four of them looked at one another, completely surprised by my outburst, and then burst into laughter.
“I think we hit a nerve,” Carter said.
“I think we might have broke him,” Maverick laughed.
I rolled my eyes. “Shut up.”
Fletcher walked over to me and threw his arm around my shoulders. “Look, Jameson. Whether we like it or not, she’s dating other guys, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t want to date you.”
“I just don’t think now is a good—”
“Take it from someone who waited years to be with the woman he wanted,” Carter stated in a serious tone. “If I could go back and redo things, I would’ve told Elly the minute I met her that I wanted to be with her. You’re just wasting time contemplating things that don’t even matter.”
“Yeah, man,” Maverick said, nodding. “You know Tessa’s not the type of woman who would let a relationship ruin her friendships. She would never make us choose sides between you two if it ended up not working out.”
“Guys,” Cash stated, “we need to put this in terms he’ll understand.” His eyes fell on me as he crossed his arms over his chest. “Okay, if any of us were in this situation, what advice would you give?”
They waited as I thought about the question and how I would answer it. Once I had it, I knew they probably wouldn’t like what I had to say since they rarely agreed with my advice. “I’d tell you to be there for her. She needs support right now. She wants to fall in love just like her friends have, so while she’s looking for Mr. Right, you need to be Mr. There-for-Her.”
“Okay,” Cash deadpanned. “Not what I was expecting.”
“I know,” I said, glancing around at the four of them. “But it’s the right thing to do. I think you all know that. I know we don’t like the idea of her dating someone she meets online, but she doesn’t need our negativity weighing her down. Just keep your thoughts to yourself. She’s been supportive of all of us; she deserves the same from her friends.”
“What about you?” Maverick asked. “Are you going to be okay watching her go out with other guys?”
I nodded, feeling somewhat conflicted as I tried to reassure them. “I have to be okay with it. This is her decision, and I don’t want to be just another guy she dates. I’ve been friends with her for a long time, but it wasn’t until after she moved in with me that I realized how much I need her to be more. If she’s dating random guys off the Internet, she’s not ready for more with me yet.”
***
The following night, I walked out of my room and started looking for my purse in the living room. Justin was seated on the couch watching TV, and I was getting ready to head over to Maverick and Harper’s to babysit Seghen.
“Hey,” Justin said, “What are you looking for?”
“My purse,” I answered, checking the couch.
“Island barstool,” he said, pointing toward the kitchen.
“Thanks.” I slung the black cross-body over my shoulder and pulled on my heavy coat.
He smiled at me and ran his eyes over my hoodie and jeans. “Where are you headed?”
“Harper and Maverick are going to dinner tonight, so they’ve asked me to babysit.”
“Really?” he asked, leaning forward. “I can’t believe Mav agreed to leave Seghen for an evening.”
I laughed. “It’s just an hour or two. So, they won’t be gone long.”
He twirled the remote in his hand with excitement dancing in his eyes. “Do you mind if I come with you? I haven’t seen her since she was born.”
“No, I don’t mind.” The thought of seeing him hold Seghen made my lady box tremble with giddiness, and I couldn’t think of a better way to spend my Sunday night.
“Great!” He clicked off the television, grabbed his coat and then locked the apartment behind us. “Maverick showed us a few pictures of her on his phone the other day at the gym. I can’t wait to give him shit for leaving her.”
Smacking him in the stomach, I turned around to face him, latching on to the material of his sweatshirt. “Don’t give him any crap. It’s hard on first-time parents to leave their little ones behind. Even if it is only for a short period of time.”
“He would give me shit if the situations were reversed,” he said.
“I know, but Harper didn’t even think she’d get him to agree to dinner.”
“Fine,” he stated, running a hand through his hair. “I guess I can keep the jokes to myself until after they get back.”
“Thank you.” I turned around, feeling satisfied, and continued out into the freezing winter air. Justin hailed us a cab, insisting it was too cold to walk, and before I knew it we were headed across town to Harper and Maverick’s penthouse.
When we arrived, Justin paid the driver, and we rushed into the building to escape the chill. Once in the private elevator, I tapped in Harper and Maverick’s code, and it quickly ascended. The ding announced our arrival as the doors to the elevator opened up and Axel, Harper and Maverick’s Great Dane, came running down the foyer toward us.
“Hey, bud!” I exclaimed, petting the massive pup’s ears as he eagerly begged for attention, wagging his long gray tail.
“I swear, you get bigger every time I see you, Ax,” Justin said. At the sound of his name, Axel jumped up, placing his paws on Justin’s shoulders, and licked his face.
“I wonder how he is with Seghen.”
“I’m sure he’s great with her,” Justin said, rubbing Axel’s shoulders. “Great Danes are great people dogs.”
“He’s a little protective,” Harper said, grabbing Axel’s attention. The friendly pup ran to his master and greeted her with much more enthusiasm. Harper laughed, waving us toward her. “Come on in, guys. I’m sorry our big horse attacked you.”
“It’s okay,” I said, shrugging off my coat. “Where’s Mav?”
“He’s feeding Seghen,” Harper replied, leading us into the living room.
Mav sat on the couch holding an adorable baby girl decked out in a pink onesie in one hand and a bottle in the other, his tattoos and muscles on display with the sleeves of his button-down rolled up his forearms.
Justin joined him as Harper led me into the kitchen.
“She should be good since we’re feeding her before we leave, but if she does get fussy and wants a bottle, you can give her one. I pumped earlier, so there’s one ready to go in the fridge if you need it. She usually naps after eating, so I’m hoping she just sleeps while we’re gone.”
“I’m sure she’ll be fine,” I reassured, smiling as I admired Harper in her purple sweater dress. “You look great, by the way!”
“Thanks,” she said excitedly. “It feels so good to be dressed up. Just ignore the baby weight.”
“Oh, shut up,” I deadpanned, rolling my eyes. “You seriously look amazing for just having a baby, and your boobs are huge.”
She laughed, smiling down at her chest, unimpressed. “Yeah, they’re also raw and sore, and they leak on occasion.”
“The things we put ourselves through for kids,” I stated.
“I know,” Harper sighed, gazing back into the living room at Maverick and Seghen. “She’s worth it.”
“She’s adorable,” I said, rubbing my hands together. “I can’t wait to hold her all night!”
Harper laughed. “I think you’ll have to wait your turn.”
We watched as Maverick cautiously transferred Seghen off to Justin, and then they picked up their conversation again.
“Damn him,” I said dramatically, shaking my head. I felt Harper’s warm gaze on me, and when I looked over at her, she was smiling wittingly. “What?”
“I think he’s into you,” she whispered in an eager voice. “Why else would he tag along to help you babysit?”
“Because your daughter has us all wrapped around her finger,” I quipped, waving my pinkie finger in the air.
“True,” she laughed with a proud shrug. “But I also think it’s because he wants to be here, spending time with you outside the apartment.”
I sighed, sneaking another wistful glance at him. I’d been excited at the thought of seeing him hold Seghen earlier. Now, the sight of them together was like a swift kick in the vagina, reminding me that he’d probably never hold our babies. Taking a deep breath, I turned my attention back to Harper and put on a smile for her. “I have another date later this week. He’s an accountant, and he let me choose where to have dinner.”
“That’s great,” she said, her smile weakening at the mention of my date. “But I’m still rooting for Justin and you.”
So am I, I mused, looking back into the living room.
Justin caught my gaze and smiled.
“I think it’s safe to say he’s rooting for you, too.”
“Why must they look so good with her?” I asked seriously, ignoring her remark. “What is it about guys with babies? Do you think it’s them or her that makes the other cuter?”
“It’s her,” Harper answered undoubtedly. “She softens them up, makes them more vulnerable.”
I nodded in agreement, loving the way Justin gave Seghen his full attention. “You’re right.”
“And now, I’m going to take my hot, vulnerable man out to dinner,” she said, as she reapplied her lipstick. She checked herself in the mirror one last time before throwing everything in her purse and smiling back at me. “Thank you so much for babysitting tonight. We really need this. I can’t even explain to you how excited I was to get dressed up. I love being a mom and wearing my comfy lounge clothes, but sometimes a woman just needs to put on a thong and a dress to feel sexy again.”
“You’re welcome,” I said, stifling my laugh. “I’m happy to help out whenever you need me.”
“You’re a lifesaver, Tessa!” Harper said, leading the way back in the living room. “Mav, you ready to go?”
He stood from the couch and eyed me closely. “If you need anything, call us, okay? I mean it. If something happens, I want to know. If you can’t reach us, call 9-1-1.”
Harper laughed, wrapping her arms around Maverick’s waist. “They will not need 9-1-1.”
“You don’t know that,” Mav replied, pulling her closer.
“I pretty much raised my nineteen-year-old brother on my own; I think I can handle a four-week-old,” I stated, in an attempt to relieve his anxiety.
“Let’s just go,” he said heavily, staring down at Seghen in Justin’s arms. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “Take care of my girl, guys.”
“She’ll be fine,” Harper said, threading her fingers through Mav’s. She looked between Justin and me, smiling. “Call if you do happen to need anything, but I’m sure you won’t.”
“Will do. Have a great time.”
“Get some alcohol in him, Harper!” Justin called as they walked away. “Maybe it’ll loosen him up!”
“Fuck off, Jameson!” Maverick shouted from the foyer.
When I heard the elevator start to descend, I turned to Justin and shook my head. “You just had to say something, didn’t you?”
“It was a joke!” he exclaimed, stroking his thumb over Seghen’s back. “He deserved it for lecturing me on how to take care of a baby. I watched his hair gray while he babbled on about bottles and diapers and the meaning behind each one of Seghen’s cries.”
Laughing, I took a seat on the couch and brushed a finger over Seghen’s beautiful dark hair that looked just like her mom’s. “I think it’s cute that he’s so concerned about her; it means he cares. Most dads would just pawn all that stuff off on the mom.”
“That’s not my point. I think he’s a great dad, but the way he kept repeating things to me …” Justin rolled his eyes. “I have an eidetic memory. He knows that.”
Hearing our voices, Seghen turned her head toward Justin’s neck and mewled quietly as she tried to find the perfect position to fall back asleep. Justin tried to soothe her by rubbing her back softly, while I tried comforting her with words.
“It’s okay, sweetie,” I said, scooting closer to Justin. “Just go back to sleep. You’re okay.”
But the sound of my voice wasn’t a comfort to her as her face turned red and her cries grew louder.
“Oh, wow,” Justin whispered. “She is not happy.”
“She woke up just in time to realize Mom and Dad aren’t here anymore,” I said quietly. “Here, I’ll take her and try walking with her.”
Justin handed her off to me, and I stood from the couch and started walking around the living room, speaking to her in a soft voice in an attempt to calm her down. We made five laps around the living room, and she’d only grown angrier. I tried bouncing her, rocking her, singing to her, but nothing was working as her cries turned into wails, causing anxiety to wade in my belly.
“I have an idea,” Justin stated, pulling his hoodie over his head.
“What are you doing?” I asked sharply, eyes wide as he continued taking off his undershirt. “Why are you taking off your clothes? What good is that going to do us?”
“I know how to calm Seghen down,” Justin explained in a cool tone. “Now, get her down to just her diaper.”
Exhaling a deep nervous breath, I slowly laid Seghen down on the area rug despite her loud, furious sobs. I felt like the worst aunt ever, but I proceeded to unbutton her onesie. She felt hot and sweaty from her outburst, and I wanted nothing more than to make her feel better.
Picking her up, I found a shirtless Justin lying on the couch with a throw pillow situated behind his head. “Okay, let’s see if a little skin-to-skin contact will calm her down.”
Confused and tired of hearing her cries, I carefully carried her over to him and he took her from me. He whispered to her as he placed her against his bare chest, and her shudders simmered slightly at the feel of his skin against hers.
Justin smiled down at her and began stroking her back with his thumb again. He placed a soft kiss on her forehead and explained, “The contact triggers the release of a hormone called oxytocin inside her body, which will help calm her. It also helps control stress hormones, heart rate and temperature, also allowing her to relax.”
“I’m going to go grab a blanket from her room,” I said.
“Okay,” he said, never taking his eyes off her. As I entered the hall, I stopped and listened as he spoke to her in a soothing voice. “Dad said you usually sleep after eating, but maybe you ate too much and your belly hurts. Don’t worry, beautiful girl, that happens to all of us sometimes.”
I smiled to myself and found a soft, pink blanket from her nursery and carried it back to the living room with me. I stopped short as I entered the room and leaned against the wall to listen. Her cries had minimized to a few whimpers as her breathing went back to normal, but it was the sound of Justin singing to her that mesmerized me. His tone was deep and soothing, hauntingly beautiful in a cappella, as he sang a song I barely recognized. I’d heard the song before, but I couldn’t place it. I knew the words, they came so easily as I lip-synced along with him. Tears pooled in my eyes and a knot formed in my throat in disbelief of the talent before me. I
had no idea he could sing so effortlessly. His raspy bass sent a delicious chill down my spine that made goose bumps pebble across my skin. Listening to him comfort her was such a harmonic pleasure, I swear I felt my ovaries swaying along to the tune.
He hummed the melody to her between verses before starting again, and finally, after five or six repeats, I remembered where I’d heard it before. It was the ballad from Sleeping Beauty, “Once Upon a Dream.” It wasn’t as cheerful or upbeat the way Justin sang it. His version was more swoony and mellow, and I had to capture it. I pulled my phone out of my back pocket and recorded a video of him soothing her back to sleep with his beautiful voice.
As I stepped closer, I noticed his eyes were shut and her cries had completely stopped as she slept soundly now. I switched to my camera app and snapped a picture of them lying together. They seemed so relaxed, handling each other with such ease. When I couldn’t calm her down, he swooped in and saved the day, shirtless and singing. I felt a tear hit my cheek, and I quickly wiped it away, removing my evident weakness for him.
Tiptoeing around the couch, I knelt down beside them, leaning my head against the cushion to continue watching the show, totally captivated by his voice. His fingers stroked over her skin in rhythm to his words—the same words that reminded me of the actual dream I’d had about him. It was as if he secretly knew about it and decided to taunt me with this song.
When he finished another round of lyrics, he opened his eyes and smiled at me with pride. Whispering, he said, “It worked.”
“You sang her the song from Sleeping Beauty,” I stated quietly, still enamored by him. “I didn’t even know you could sing. You’re really good.”
The grin on his face widened at my acknowledgement. “Did you know that song was inspired by a ballet?”
Of course not. I shook my head.
In a soft voice, he explained. “It was inspired by the music Pyotr Tchaikovsky composed for his ballet called The Sleeping Beauty. My parents wouldn’t let me watch Disney movies; they considered them too mundane.” He rolled his eyes and suppressed a laugh. “Instead, I attended operas and symphonies and ballets. I can’t remember how old I was when I first saw the ballet, but I enjoyed the music. The Garland Waltz is the first dance in Tchaikovsky’s ballet, and “Once Upon a Dream” from the movie was inspired from the composition during that dance. I didn’t even know it was part of a Disney movie until I was in college. My grandma heard me humming the tune one day, and she started singing the words to it. She had no idea it originated from a ballet. Tchaikovsky also wrote the music for Swan Lake and The Nutcracker, but The Sleeping Beauty is my favorite of his ballets.”