Julia smiled at Maddie’s enthusiasm. “She was the best flower girl I’ve ever seen.”
“Do you think when you get married, I could wear a dress like Chloe’s and throw flower petals, too?”
She winced, not at all sure how to answer. “Um, honey, I’ve already been married, to your dad,” she finally said.
“But you could get married again, couldn’t you? Chloe said you could because her dad was already married before, too, to her mom. Then her mom died just like Daddy and now her dad is married again to Sage.”
Julia forced a smile. “Isn’t it lucky he found Sage?”
She, on the other hand, had given her heart to Will Garrett, wholly and completely, and somehow she knew she would never be able to love anyone else. Will wasn’t ready for it. For all she knew, he would never be ready. If Will couldn’t bring himself to love her back, she was afraid she would spend the rest of her life alone.
But she wasn’t about to confide her heartache to her daughter. “You need to get to sleep, kiddo. It’s been a big day and I know you’re tired. Simon’s already in his bed, sound asleep.”
She helped Maddie into her nightgown and was tucking her under the covers when Maddie touched her hand.
“Mama, I think you should marry Mr. Garrett.”
Julia nearly tripped over Maddie’s slippers in her astonishment. “Wh...why would you say that?”
“Well, lots of reasons. He smells nice and I just love the dollhouse he made me.”
Not the worst reasons for a seven-year-old girl to come up with to marry a man, she supposed.
“And maybe if you married him, he wouldn’t be so sad all the time. You make him smile, Mama. I know you do.”
Tears burned in her eyelids at Maddie’s confident statement and she knelt down to fold her daughter into her arms.
“Go to sleep, pumpkin,” she said through the emotions clogging her throat. “I’ll see you in the morning.”
She turned off the light and closed her door, then moved to Simon’s room to check on him. He was sleeping soundly, his blankets already a tangle at his waist. She tucked them back over his shoulders then returned to the living room, lit only by a small lamp next to her Stickley rocking chair.
Though she tried to fight the impulse, she finally gave in and moved to the window overlooking Will’s house. No lights were on there, she saw. Was he asleep already?
He was leaving in the morning. Maybe he intended to get a solid night’s rest for traveling across the country.
The emotions Maddie had stirred in her finally broke free and she felt tears trickling down her cheeks. He hadn’t said a word to her all day. She had felt his gaze several times, both during the ceremony and then after at the reception, but he hadn’t approached her.
After his dance with Maddie, she had intended to track him down—if only to tell him goodbye before he left for his new job—but he had rushed out of The Sea Urchin so fast she hadn’t had the chance.
She didn’t need a pile of two-by-fours to fall on her head to figure out he didn’t want to talk to her again.
She swiped at her tears with her palm. He hadn’t even left town yet and she already missed him like crazy. Despite her determined claims to him that she wouldn’t regret making love, she couldn’t deny that the tender intimacy they had shared had only ratcheted up her pain to a near-unbearable level.
Sage’s joy today had only served to reinforce to Julia that she was unlikely ever to know that kind of happiness with Will. He might have opened up his emotions to her a few nights ago but now they were as tightly locked and shoved away as they had been since she returned to town. If she needed proof, she only had to look at the careful distance he maintained at the wedding.
What a strange journey she had traveled since making the decision to return to Cannon Beach. She never would have guessed when she took that teaching job several months ago that she would find love and heartbreak all in one convenient package.
He was leaving in the morning and she could do nothing to stop him.
She sobbed, just a little, then the sound caught in her throat when she suddenly thought she smelled freesia.
“Oh, Abigail,” she murmured. “I wish you were here to tell me what to do, how I can reach Will. I don’t think I can bear this.”
Silence met her impassioned plea, but an instant later she jumped a mile when she felt something wet brush her hand.
“Conan! You scared the life out of me! Where were you?”
The dog had followed her and the twins upstairs when they returned to Brambleberry House from the wedding, apparently needing company since Anna was still busy cleaning up at the reception and Sage and Eben were staying at The Sea Urchin for the night until they left for their honeymoon in the Galapagos in the morning.
He must have gone into her room to lie down, since she hadn’t seen him when she came out of Simon’s room and had forgotten he was even there. Still, she had to admit she was grateful for the company. The dog leaned against her leg, offering his own unique kind of support and sympathy.
“Thanks,” she whispered, as they sat together in her dim apartment looking out at the lights of town.
But his steady comfort didn’t last long. After a moment, his ears pricked up and he suddenly barked and rushed for the door, his tail wagging.
She sighed. “You want to go out again? We let you out when we came home!”
He whined a little and watched her out of those curiously intelligent eyes. With a sigh, she abandoned any fleeting hope she might have briefly entertained about sinking into a hot bubble bath to soak away her misery, for a while anyway.
“All right, you crazy dog. Just let me find some shoes first.”
She had changed after the reception into worn jeans and her oldest, most comfortable sweater. Now she grabbed tennis shoes and headed down the stairs.
The moment she opened the outside door, Conan rocketed down the porch steps and toward the front gate, then disappeared from sight.
Oh rats. She forgot to check that the gate was still closed. Conan usually stuck close to home, preferring his own territory, but if he smelled a cat anywhere in the vicinity, all bets were off.
What was she supposed to do now? No one else was home, the twins were sleeping upstairs and the dog was loose. She couldn’t let him wander free, though.
“Conan,” she called. “Get back here.”
He barked from what sounded like just the other side of the ironwork fence, but she couldn’t see him in the darkness.
“Here, boy. Come on.”
He didn’t respond to the command and with a sigh, she headed down the sidewalk, hoping he wasn’t in the mood for a playful game of tag. She wasn’t at all in the mood to chase him.
“Come on, Conan. It’s cold.” She walked through the gate, then froze when she saw in the moonlight just why the dog hadn’t answered her summons.
He was busy greeting a man who stood silent and watchful on the other side of the fence.
Will.
She stared at him, stunned to find him here, tonight, and wondering if she had left any evidence of the tears she had just shed for him. All those emotions just under the surface threatened to break through again—sorrow and regret, doubt, sadness.
Love.
Especially love.
She wanted to go to him, throw her arms around his waist and beg him not to leave.
“I didn’t see you there,” she said instead, hoping her emotional tumult didn’t show up in her voice.
He said nothing, just continued to pet the dog and watch her. She walked a little closer.
“Is everything okay?”
“No.” His voice sounded hoarse, ragged. “I don’t think it is.”
He stepped closer to her, so near she could smell the scent
of his aftershave, sexy and male. Her heart, already pounding hard since the instant she saw him standing in the darkness, picked up a pace.
“What is it?”
He was quiet for a long time—so long she was beginning to worry something was seriously wrong. Finally, to her immense shock he reached out and grasped her fingers and pulled her even closer.
“I had to come. Had to see you.”
“Why?”
His slow sigh stirred her hair. “I love you, Julia.”
“Wh-what did you say?” She jerked her hand away and scrambled back. Her heartbeat accelerated and she couldn’t seem to catch her breath as shock rippled through her.
He raked a hand through his hair. “I didn’t mean to just blurt it out like that. I must sound like an idiot.”
“I’m... I’m sorry. You don’t sound like an idiot. I just... I wasn’t expecting that. You’re leaving tomorrow. Aren’t you leaving?”
A tiny flutter of joy started in her heart but she was afraid to let it free, afraid he would only crush it and leave her feeling worse than ever.
“Yes. I’m leaving.”
She expected his words but they still scored her heart. He said he loved her, but he was leaving anyway?
“I wish I didn’t have to go but I gave my word to Eben and I’m committed, at least for a few weeks, until he can find someone else to take my place.”
He reached for her hand again and she could feel her fingers trembling in his hard, callused palm. “And then I’d like to come back. To Cannon Beach and to you.”
While she was still reeling from his words, he paused, then touched her cheek softly. “You were so right about everything you’ve said to me. I need to move forward, to give myself the freedom to taste all life has to offer again. It’s time. I’ve known it’s time, but I’ve been so afraid. That’s a tough thing for a man to admit, but it’s the truth. I was afraid to let myself love you, afraid I was somehow...betraying Robin and Cara by all the feelings I was starting to have for you.”
She squeezed his fingers. “Oh, Will. You’ll never stop loving them. I would never ask that of you. That’s exactly the way it should be. But the heart is a magical thing. Abigail taught me that. When you’re ready, when you need it to, it can miraculously expand to make room.”
He studied her for a long moment and then suddenly he smiled. Only when she saw his mouth tilt, saw the genuine happiness in his expression, did she realize he truly meant what he said. He loved her. She still couldn’t quite absorb it, but his eyes in the soft moonlight were free of any lingering grief and sorrow.
He loved her.
He cupped his hands around her face and kissed her then, soft and gentle in the cool October air. She wrapped her arms around his waist as a sweet, cleansing joy exploded through her.
“My heart has made room for you, Julia. For you and your beautiful children. How could it help but find a place? You already had your own corner there sixteen years ago. I think some part of me was just waiting for you to return and move back in.”
His mouth found hers again, and in his kiss she tasted joy and healing and the promise of a sweet, beautiful future.
Not far away, a huge mongrel dog sat on his haunches watching them both with satisfaction in his eyes while the soft, flowery scent of freesia floated in the autumn air.
* * * * *
A SOLDIER’S SECRET
To my brothers, Maj. Brad Robinson, US Air Force, and high school teacher and coach Mike Robinson. Both of you are heroes!
Contents
CHAPTER ONE
CHAPTER TWO
CHAPTER THREE
CHAPTER FOUR
CHAPTER FIVE
CHAPTER SIX
CHAPTER SEVEN
CHAPTER EIGHT
CHAPTER NINE
CHAPTER TEN
CHAPTER ELEVEN
CHAPTER TWELVE
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
EPILOGUE
CHAPTER ONE
LIGHTS WERE ON in her attic—lights that definitely hadn’t been gleaming when she left that morning.
A cold early March breeze blew off the ocean, sending dead leaves skittering across the road in front of her headlights and twisting and yanking the boughs of the Sitka spruce around Brambleberry House as Anna Galvez pulled into the driveway, behind an unfamiliar vehicle.
The lights and the vehicle could only mean one thing.
Her new tenant had arrived.
She sighed. She so didn’t need this right now. Exhaustion pressed on her shoulders with heavy, punishing hands and she wanted nothing but to slip into a warm bath with a mind-numbing glass of wine.
The day had been beyond ghastly. She could imagine few activities more miserable than spending an entire humiliating day sitting in a Lincoln City courtroom being confronted with the unavoidable evidence of her own stupidity.
And now, despite her battered ego and fragile psyche, she had to go inside and make nice with a stranger who wouldn’t even be renting the top floor of Brambleberry House if not for the tangled financial mess that stupidity had caused.
In the backseat, Conan gave one sharp bark, though she didn’t know if he was anxious at the unfamiliar vehicle parked in front of them or just needed to answer the call of nature.
Since they had been driving for an hour, she opted for the latter and hurried out into the wet cold to open the sliding door of her minivan. The big shaggy beast she inherited nearly a year earlier, along with the rambling Victorian in front of her, leaped out in one powerful lunge.
Tail wagging, he rushed immediately to sniff around the SUV that dared to enter his territory without his permission. He lifted his leg before she could kick-start her brain and Anna winced.
“Conan, get away from there,” she called sternly. He sent her a quizzical look, then gave a disgruntled snort before lowering his leg and heading to one of his favorite trees instead.
She really hoped her new tenant didn’t mind dogs.
She hated the idea of a stranger in Sage’s apartment. If she had her way, she would keep it empty, even though Sage and her husband and stepdaughter had their own beach house now a half mile down the shore for their frequent visits to Cannon Beach from their San Francisco home.
But after Anna vehemently refused to accept financial help from Sage and Eben, Sage had insisted she at least rent out her apartment to help defray costs.
The two of them were co-owners of the house and Sage’s opinion certainly had weight. Besides, Anna was nothing if not practical. The apartment was empty, she had a fierce, unavoidable need for income and she knew many people were willing to pay a premium for furnished beachfront living space.
Army Lieutenant Harry Maxwell among them.
She gazed up at the lights cutting through the twilight from the third-story window. She was going to have to go up there and welcome him to Brambleberry House. No question. It was the right thing to do, even if the long, exhausting day in that courtroom had left her as bedraggled and wrung-out as one of Conan’s tennis balls after a good hard game of fetch on the beach.
She might want to do nothing but climb into her bed, yank the covers over her head and weep for her shattered dreams and her own stupidity, but she had to put all that aside for now and do the polite thing.
She grabbed her laptop case from the passenger seat just as her cell phone rang. Anna swallowed a groan when she saw the name and phone number.
She wasn’t sure what was worse—making nice with a stranger now living in her home or being forced to carry on a conversation with the bubbly real estate agent who had facilitated the whole deal.
With grim resignation, she opened her phone and connected the call. �
�Anna Galvez speaking.”
“Anna! It’s Tracy Harder!”
Even if she hadn’t already noted Tracy’s information on the caller ID, she would have recognized the other woman’s perky enthusiasm in an instant.
“So have you seen him yet?” Tracy asked.
Anna screwed her eyes shut as if she could just make those upstairs lights—and Tracy—disappear. “I just pulled up to the house, Tracy. I’ve been in Lincoln City all day. I haven’t had a chance to even walk into the house yet. So, no, I haven’t seen him. I’m planning to go up to say hello in a moment.”
“You are the luckiest woman in town right now. I mean it! You have absolutely no idea.”
“You’re right,” she said, unable to keep the dry note out of her voice. “But I’m willing to bet you’re about to enlighten me.”
Tracy gave a low, sultry laugh. “I know we didn’t mention a finder’s fee on top of my usual property management commission, but you just might want to kick a bonus over my way after you meet him. The man is gorgeous. Yum, that’s all I have to say. Yum!”
Just what she needed. A player who would probably be entertaining a long string of model types at all hours of the day and night. “As long as he pays his rent on time and only needs a two-month lease, I don’t care what he looks like.”
“That’s because you haven’t met him yet. How much longer will Julia Blair and her kids be renting the second floor? I might be interested when she moves out—I’d love to be beneath that man.”
Anna couldn’t help her groan, both at Tracy’s not so subtle sexual innuendo and at the idea of the real estate agent’s wild boys living in the second-floor apartment.
“Julia and Will aren’t getting married until June,” she answered. With any luck, Lieutenant Maxwell would be long gone by then, leaving behind only his nice fat rental check.
“When she moves out, let me know. That might be a good time for us to talk about a more long-term solution to Brambleberry House. You can’t keep taking in temporary renters to pay for the repairs on it. The place is a black hole that will suck away every penny you have.”
Brambleberry House Page 18