by Alan Black
Carl nodded, “I can do that. I thought I had a pack of bologna in the refrigerator?” He took a glass from the counter, filled it with tap water and drank it down.
Gary looked shocked, “That? Is that what it is? Have you seen the expiration date on that stuff?”
Carl started to feel better. He drained a second glass and said. “If it isn’t green or if it isn’t gray it is okay to eat and okay to stay.” He reached into the refrigerator and grabbed the bologna, sniffing it. He shrugged and tossed it on the table. He set an almost empty bottle of ketchup next to the suspect lunchmeat.
Gary said, “I see what you mean about your giving yourself food poisoning.”
“Bologna and ketchup on toast. That is a real man’s breakfast,” Carl said as he took a huge bite.
He finished his sandwich by the end of his second cup of coffee. He felt better.
Gary pointed around the small apartment. “I was gonna check the news to see if there are any updates on Teri and Harpo, but if you have a TV, you have it exceptionally well hidden. Hell, Man, your entertainment center is full of books!”
Carl pointed to the top of the refrigerator. “Radio is up there. It is already set to an all news channel. I listen to that when I get up before the newspaper gets here.”
“Newspaper? You read a newspaper to find out what is going on in the world?” Gary turned on the radio. The announcer read through last night’s sports scores.
“Yep,” Carl said. “I am not a neo-luddite or anything, but I do like the depth of the story that comes with print.” He pointed up at the radio. “I listen to them for up to the minute information.”
As if on cue the announcer said, “And that’s it for the on-the-hour news, weather and sports. We are still getting flooded with calls about what we are all calling the Zoo-pocalypse. For those of you who have been out of the country or on Mars the last two days, the Zoo-pocalyse was when a group of gangsters invaded our lovely zoo, killing one, seriously wounding another, and leaving behind two dead and one injured of their own.
“There are a lot of questions surrounding what went on, many of them should be answered at a press conference later this morning. I have been told that we will have an official response from Alabama’s top cop, Stan ‘the Man’ Porrizzo, our state’s Attorney General who will be addressing this very issue at eight o’clock.
“Our question today is what do we do with an animal that kills humans? This morning our calls are two to one to put Harpo down. But first a message from our sponsor: Red Wigglers, the Cadillac of Worms.”
Gary put a hand on Carl to restrain him. “Easy. Let’s hear some of what’s being said.”
Carl said through gritted teeth “I am not going to let them kill Harpo.”
Gary said. “Okay, but let’s not pull the trigger before our gun gets loaded. Listen for a bit. See what the people say, not just a cretin at a microphone.”
The announcer came back on. “Now, for our last caller, this radio station’s legal counsel has notified us that the Second Amendment to the U.S. Constitution does not apply to animals, not even the great apes. And further, neither does the Castle Doctrine. If Doctor Marks had fired the weapon, he would have been protecting his place of employment from intruders. The ape did not and does not have that right. I like Harpo, as apes go, he seems like a pretty nice ape, but come on, folks! Didn’t you see that movie, ‘Rise of the Planet of the Apes’? I say put him down hard and do it now.
“Ladies and Gentlemen, as I have said before, Stan the Man, listens to this broadcast, Stanley Porrizzo, our illustrious State’s Attorney General and Alabama’s next Governor, or as we call him at home on Thanksgiving, Cousin Stan, cares about your opinion, and this is just the forum you need to be heard. The word is that Stan agrees with me. What say you?”
“Crap!” Gary spat out. “That is a set up if I ever heard one. Two-to-one my ass! This guy tells us what public opinion should be, then proves it by only airing calls that match his stated opinion.”
Carl said. “Why would you think that? I thought you wanted to hear what the people were saying?”
Gary said, “You spend too much time with animals and not enough with people. Listen to this person talking who just called in. He is spouting some new age, vegan nonsense that has nothing to do with Zoo-pocalypse. Most people around here will dismiss him as a nutcase. And this is one of the people this station chooses to air who is in favor of protecting Harpo. They are stacking the deck.”
Carl said. “You make a good case. I wouldn’t want this caller on my side in anything more than a breathing contest. Good! They cut off his rambling nonsense.”
Gary pointed at the radio. “Wanna bet that the next caller will sound clear, concise, educated and right on the point?”
The next caller recited precedents and specific instances where animals had to be ‘regrettably sacrificed’ for the protection of human life.
Gary said, “Told you. Wanna bet that if I called in trying to speak in favor of saving Harpo, that I couldn’t get on the air?”
“No bet,” Carl said. “I am done waiting. I have got to do something to stop this.”
Gary said, “I’m with you, Monkey-man, but first you gotta put on some pants.”
“Pants?” Carl looked down at himself. “Yeah, pants. That’ll be a good idea. But, what I need from you is to go see Chuck Reynolds as soon as his office is open.”
Gary said, “Who? And Why?”
Carl began pulling on his clothes from yesterday, which were the same ones as from the day before. He stopped when he caught a whiff of his shirt. He stripped again and pulled clean clothes from the closet.
He was buttoning up when he turned back to Gary. “You know Chuck. The lawyer from the B6.” He pointed at the radio. “If this is a set up, then Porrizzo is doing the setting with his cousin and this station. Porrizzo needs hype and media coverage to bring up his polling numbers for the gubernatorial election.”
Gary said, “Chuck. Yeah: big guy, little donkey, and a pretty wife.”
Carl said, “That’s the guy, except it is a burro not a donkey.”
Gary said with a grin, “Not the point, Monkey-man.”
Carl said, “Right, sorry. Look, Gary, we are going to need to get some law on our side. Let’s start with someone we know. You go talk to Chuck, see if we can get a restraining order, a stay of execution or something. If he can’t help us, he will know who can. Tell him that I am good for his fees.” He grabbed his checkbook out of a kitchen drawer and wrote a check. “Give him this as a retainer. I’ve got some more money saved up if we need it.”
Gary looked around the apartment, “Well, I should hope so. You sure don’t spend it on furniture or women.”
Carl ignored the comment, “Chuck’s office probably won’t open for awhile, but see if you can get to him as soon as you can.”
“Aye, aye, sir. But, I bet we don’t have to wait.” Gary waved the check in the air. “I’ll bet there ain’t a lawyer between here and Memphis who wouldn’t come into his office a little early for an extra ten grand. And there ain’t a lawyer in Alabama who doesn’t have a twenty-four hour number listed in the phonebook or on-line.”
Carl said, “I am going to find somewhere safe to put Harpo until this blows over.”
“Where you gonna take him?” Gary asked. Before Carl could answer, Gary waved the question away. “No. Don’t tell me. What I don’t know can’t be tortured out of me if I’m captured.”
**
MBOTU had never felt worse in his life. The sun just broke the horizon. He could hear the birds warble their morning songs. A gentle morning breeze blew across his skin and rustled his pineapple covered Hawaiian shirt. His son was dead. He had just gutted the coward who had run when Seku died. It had not made him feel one bit better.
One of his warriors was in police hands. The man would surely talk and then he too would have to die. His small group of warriors had lost four men and the war with the Mexicans had barely gotten s
tarted. And Seku was still dead.
He looked at the men gathered in the small clearing. Their faces were grim in the pale gray light. He did not see fear in their eyes, only determination. He knew these men would not run away in the next fight.
He nodded his satisfaction. “Leave this coward to the hyenas. I want that ape dead and I want that man Marks dead.”
FIVE
ALABAMA STATE PATROL LIEUTENANT JACK KEEGAN stood outside Attorney General Stanley Porrizzo’s office. He was a patient man when he needed to be. His orders said to be in Porrizzo’s office at 7:30 am sharp in full class A uniform and nobody gave a damn if it was his day off or if he had plans. It was still only twenty-five after seven.
Keegan was a strong man. He was not muscular, but he had the whipcord thin body of an adventure runner. He was a smart man and he knew something was up. The AG’s office did not call police lieutenants in just to chat. Colonels and majors would be called in and occasionally a captain or two, but not a lieutenant. And especially not one who probably would never make captain.
Keegan was thirty-five and not married. He had never been married. He did not date often and he did not brag about his sexual conquests in the locker room. He knew the rumor about his being gay was killing his career, but he did not care. He was not gay, but he believed that even if he was, it was not anybody’s business other than his. His sex life was not a topic for discussion whether it meant his career had reached its peak or not.
His father, a charismatic, bible-thumping minister, had taught him and his brother to love and respect women. Keegan just had not found the right woman, yet. Still, he thought, captain’s bars would look nice and the pay raise would definitely help his bank balance.
Keegan’s brother had married his high school sweetheart, which gave Jack hope that there was someone out there for him. He truly believed his nieces were the sweetest two creatures that ever walked the face of the planet. He glanced at his watch. He had promised to take the girls off Gordon and Amy’s hands for the day, just as he did every couple of weeks or so. It gave his brother and sister-in-law a little time to themselves.
Nine times out of ten, the girls wanted to go to the zoo. He knew today would be no different especially with the girl’s favorite, Harpo, being in such trouble. He liked the orangutan. He could not prove it, but he felt that Harpo recognized him and the girls whenever they went to visit. Harpo always seemed to look him directly in the eye when he waved. The girls were always thrilled when Harpo came and sat in front of them as they pressed their noses to the glass.
He should have time to get home and change out of his uniform, get to his brother’s place and pick up the girls on time if this meeting did not take too long. He glanced down at his uniform. Not a button or patch was out of place. He brushed a non-existent piece of lint from a knee.
Precisely at seven-thirty, Keegan knocked once on the office door and entered. He did not wait for an invitation. He closed the door behind him, braced to attention as his army drill instructor had taught him years ago and stated clearly, “Lieutenant John Keegan reports as ordered, sir.”
Porrizzo turned away from the big mirror on the wall over the leather sofa. He had been scowling into the mirror, but a grin blossomed when he faced Keegan. It was a handsome face. It was overly handsome when he grinned. His full head of hair and broad chin was Hollywood perfect. Porrizzo loosened his red silk tie and slid it slightly to the side. He was almost as tall as Keegan, but Porrizzo had the broad shoulders and thin waist of a movie idol.
Keegan secretly harbored the belief Porrizzo was trying to do a reverse Reagan; using politics to get his big break into Hollywood. The AG never missed a chance to appear before the cameras.
Keegan stood silently while Porrizzo looked him over. Everyone above the rank of desk sergeant knew the AG never met with anyone without having read his or her file beforehand. Most importantly, everyone knew the AG believed he could read a person as easily as he could read a file.
“Yes, Jack. I did send for you. Sorry for the early hour,” Porrizzo smiled warmly at the state trooper. “You prefer Jack over John, I believe?” His smile looked warm and friendly, but it had a slight practiced look. “I can call you Jack, can’t I?”
“Yes, sir,” Keegan said.
“Jack, I am sure that you are more than familiar with the events at the zoo,” Porrizzo said. He did not wait for Keegan’s acknowledgement. “I am putting together a special Department of Public Safety task force to look into it. And I want you to head a very special investigation.”
“Yes, sir,” Keegan said. He tried for a professional response rather than one of enthusiasm.
Porrizzo almost lost his warm smile. He was sure Keegan was an upward promotion thinking man. He knew Keegan was not next in line to become a captain, but he was sure the man would jump at a chance to skip up the line. Keegan’s cold response almost threw off the AG.
Porrizzo asked bluntly. “Have I got the right man? Are you up for a special task force?”
“Yes, sir. I am,” Keegan said. He knew this was a high profile situation. The head of this DPS task force would halt the organized crime that brought such a plague into central Alabama. Moreover, a special investigation would be an independent command that could reverse his dwindling promotion opportunities. “Mister Porrizzo, I am just the guy you need. You tell me what you need and I will get it done.”
Porrizzo brought back his Hollywood smile. “That is the enthusiasm I wanted to hear. I know there have been a few bumps recently in the promotion cycles, but I can guarantee that if this goes down right, and right away, there are promotions for everyone involved. I hope you don’t mind my being blunt, Jack?”
Keegan shook his head. He said, “No, sir. I don’t think it is any secret that I would like to make captain some day.”
The AG said, “That day is closer than you think. A captaincy position is opening up in Selma very soon and I have it within my authority to promote the right man and Jack…” Porrizzo paused for dramatic effect, “I think you are that right man.”
Keegan’s face lost some of its professional demeanor. He knew that an investigation into the causes of this shooting at the zoo was just the tip of the iceberg. There were new gang organizations in town and there were rumors of Latin cartels bringing in drugs. It was the investigation of a lifetime, but that was just icing on the ice cream. A promotion at this point would mean that his police career had not stalled out.
He felt a great deal of relief. He had been worried about needing to change departments to advance. Changing departments meant he would have to leave Alabama and his family behind. He knew this was his last real hope for a promotion.
“You tell me what you need, Mister Porrizzo. I will get it done,” Jack said with evident excitement.
A knock at the door interrupted them and a man entered. Keegan recognized DPS Captain Stavros Williams of the Selma station.
Williams stretched a hand out to the AG. “Mister Porrizzo, good to see you again.” He nodded to Keegan, but did not offer to shake hands.
Porrizzo smiled broadly. “Good. Stavros, you are right on time. After this brief morning meeting with Jack, I am sure we are all on the right page. This should be simple, but just so there are no misunderstandings: I want to be the next Governor of Alabama. No surprise there, right?” It was not a question, and Porrizzo continued without waiting for a response. “I am behind in the polls. That is no secret.
“The three of us are going to change that, starting today. Jack may not know this, but Stavros just passed his bar exam and is a full-fledged lawyer. I believe it is a waste of his talents to leave him as a captain. Our plan is for Stavros to file with the election commission to run for my vacant seat as the next attorney general when I move up to governor. Jack, you will move up to replace Stavros. This all hinges on two investigations coming together with the right outcome at the right time. My campaign manager, and now yours too Stavros, tells me that we need press and we need it bad.”
He waited until he got a nod from both men. “We have some new gangs and drug related issues in this state. I want to stop it, stop it now and stop it cold. Most of the public couldn’t give a shineola. Television has rendered them numb to organized crime unless it touches their lives personally. This zoo-polcalypse is just our ticket to wake them up.
“First: Jack I want you to take charge of an investigation into this monkey at the zoo. Not the shooting, but the fallout. What do we do with a monkey that kills people? Our response is people first. No matter what the circumstances, animals that kill people are put down, gently and humanely, but they are euthanized. My polls show me this is the most popular opinion expressed by our voting population. I have ways to make that opinion stronger, before we put him down. Remember, we investigate impartially, but it is people first.”
Keegan slammed his poker face into place. He had never heard the phrase “zoo-pocalypse’. It sounded like something some advertising flack thought up after a four martini lunch.
He could feel his disappointment well up, but he would not let it show. “Yes, sir. However, isn’t that a case for animal control, the zoo director or the LEOs; I mean the Birmingham Police?”
Porrizzo grinned broadly. “I knew I picked the right man. That is exactly the problem. There are too many jurisdictions involved. Since the zoo receives state funds I can place you in overall control, but I want you to work closely with each of these departments. This is political and I want them all to feel as if we are there to support them. After all, they are all voters, if you get my meaning. We do not want this to drag on. We need to be seen as decisive and swift to act.”
Williams said, “Yes, sir. I can’t be AG if you don’t make governor. You don’t make governor if Jack doesn’t get us the right happy outcome and make news while he is doing it.”
Porrizzo almost lost his smile at the interruption, but his grin came back. “Absolutely correct, Stavros, we need the polls to start an upward trend and we need it to begin to grow now to overtake our esteemed opponent. This zoo-polcaplyse is our green light. In a few minutes, you gentlemen will stand next to me in a press conference. I will announce Jack’s appointment to this special task force. Then I will announce Stavros’ appointment as a special investigator into the organized gangs that participated in zoo-polcalyse. As Stavros takes charge of the special task force, Jack’s promotion captain in Selma will come to fruition once this monkey is put down and the people are reassured that their next governor believes in people first.