‘I was jealous,’ I admitted. ‘I thought I was losing Izzie but I am sorry – I know now that you weren’t out to steal her from me. And I’m sorry that I wasn’t more welcoming. I was a cow. It can’t be easy starting a new school late.’
Nesta rolled her eyes. ‘Tell me about it.’
I laughed. ‘Tell you about me being a cow or it being hard starting school late?’
Nesta laughed too. ‘Er . . . both. Start with you being a cow.’
In that instant, I knew that we were going to be mates, really good mates from then on. I was about to ask her more about Josie when a woman behind us tapped me on the shoulder. I turned to see what she wanted.
‘Where did you get your top?’ she asked.
‘Oh, I made it.’
‘Really? Good for you,’ she said. ‘I’m impressed.’
‘She made this as well,’ said Nesta, doing a twirl for her.
‘I like doing halters,’ I told her. ‘They’re easy to make.’
‘You’ve got a good eye,’ smiled the woman. ‘A simple design but well cut. Well done.’ She put her hand in her bag, produced a card and handed it to me. ‘Here. Remember me when you’ve finished fashion college.’
‘Fashion college?’
‘Yes. I presume you’re going to do fashion?’
It was like a light went on in my head. Ping! Of course. It was obvious. My way was clear. Fashion!
I nodded. ‘Yes. I am. Course I am.’
‘Well, good luck and get in touch when you’ve finished. I am always looking for fresh talent and innovative design and if you carry on like this, you’ve got a good future in front of you.’
She saw someone she knew at the end of the coffee queue and went back to join them. Nesta took the card.
‘Ohmigod,’ she said.
‘What?’ I asked.
‘That was Viv Purcell.’
The name meant nothing to me.
‘The Viv Purcell. She’s only one of hippest designers there is. Mum did a whole feature on her on the news one night last week. She is Big with a capital B.’
I felt myself glowing with pleasure. Not only had she picked me out but she was dead on – a designer, that’s what I wanted to be. That is what I was. I could feel happiness flooding through me. I had not one, but two great mates. I had a career in front of me. I felt like doing cartwheels. In fact, if I’d been wearing trousers, I would have done!
I left the Clothes Show early and went to Rob’s house to watch a movie he’d been raving about.
When I got home, I was about to go into my room when I saw Lucy coming out of the bathroom. She was beginning to grow on me and it had been fun hanging out with her, Nesta and Izzie at the show.
‘Pst, Lucy,’ I said. ‘In here.’
She looked up and down the corridor, probably looking for my parents, but, seeing no one, she followed me into my room.
I knew she would.
I shut the door, went straight over, put her arms around my neck and kissed her. She didn’t resist.
I knew she wouldn’t.
‘So do you want go out some time?’ I asked when we came up for air. A date or two, that would be all, but she was cute, it would be fun and it was flattering to be adored the way that she clearly adored me. I was her MC. Her meestery contestant. I knew her secret.
Then, blow me down. She gave me a really slow up and down look as if she was sizing me up. Then she stuck her bottom lip out, pouted and said, ‘I don’t know. I’ll . . . think about it.’
Holy moley and flipping heck, I thought. Girls don’t turn the Master down. What’s going on?
I gave her my killer-watt smile. ‘Suit yourself,’ I said. ‘You’re probably too young for me anyway.’
She laughed, opened the door . . . and left!
I gave her a few seconds. She’d be back. Girls always came back for more.
She didn’t.
I stuck my head out into the corridor. No sign of her.
And then I laughed too. She was cool. So . . . you want to play, do you, Lucy Lovering? I thought. OK, let game commence.
‘Lucy,’ said Nesta in a mega-loud voice. ‘I want to look at some aromatherapy oils.’
We were at Camden Market on Saturday afternoon doing some early Christmas shopping and Izzie had seen a boy that she really liked. He was manning a stall selling oils and Izzie was too shy to go and talk to him. Of course, Nesta was having none of that and dragged us back over to the stall. It wasn’t long before Izzie got chatting to him because she’s into all that New Age stuff and knows a lot about essential oils. Nesta and I decided to leave them to it.
We had a look at a few of the shops on the ground floor then Nesta went off to find a Ladies so I cruised around on my own. After a while I got the feeling that I was being watched. I turned around and saw someone dart behind a stall. Probably Nesta being stupid, I thought as I carried on my way. In the next aisle, I got the same feeling and turned again. Once again, someone darted away. I was sure it wasn’t Nesta this time. I got the impression that it was a boy because I saw jeans and Converse sneakers before he disappeared from view. I turned into the next aisle and hurried along. I glanced over my shoulder, ducked into a stall and hid behind a curtain in the changing room ready to ambush the boy.
‘You all right, love?’ asked the stall owner.
‘Er . . . yes,’ I whispered. As I spoke I spotted a pair of Converse sneakers appear under the curtain on the other side to where I was hiding. I sprang out to surprise my stalker.
Tony leaped back as I pounced on him. ‘Wargh!’
‘So it was you!’ I accused.
‘Me what?’
‘Following me.’
He grinned, nodded and then turned to the stall owner. ‘Sorry Has my patient been causing trouble?’
The stall lady looked puzzled. ‘No. Not at all.’
‘Come on, Lucinda,’ said Tony. ‘Time to take your medication.’
I laughed as he took my arm and hauled me along the aisle. He looked back at the stall. ‘She goes loopy if I don’t look after her.’
The stall lady rolled her eyes. ‘Yeah right,’ she said. ‘Think it might be you who needs the medication, dear.’
I laughed. ‘Hah!’ I said. ‘She had your number.’ Then I punched his arm gently. ‘So why were you following me?’
Tony put his hand on his heart. ‘For my heart is smitten by thy fair face and thou doth pull at my heartstrings like a magnet.’
You don’t half talk tosh,’ I said, but I was pleased to see him. It seemed like ages since we’d bumped into each other at Nesta’s. I’d seen him a couple of times since I had confessed to the girls that he was my MC. I still wasn’t sure what he thought of me though. One time, he was really cool so the next time when he was more flirty I out-cooled him. After that, every time I went over, he wasn’t there and Nesta had started hanging out at my house more and more. In the meantime, I had decided that being cool all the time didn’t get much of a result so the next time I saw him, I was going to be warmer.
‘So. Drink, madam?’ asked Tony.
‘Don’t mind if I do,’ I replied with what I hoped was a flirty smile. ‘In fact, I said I’d meet Nesta at the juice stall in about ten minutes.’
We went and sat at a table near the canal and Tony bought us two apple-and-carrot juices, which were yummy. It felt great to be sitting with him and I noticed a few girls go by and check him out and then look at me. I straightened my back and attempted to look like it was completely possible that I might be his girlfriend. Some chance, I thought, he is so gorgeous. He would never be with a girl like me for real.
‘So, Juicy Lucy,’ he said after he’d drained his glass. ‘Fancy going to a movie next week?’
‘Splurgh . . .’ I had just taken a big slurp of juice and was so surprised by his question that I choked on it and then had to cough like mad because it went down the wrong way.
Tony grinned. ‘I’ll take that as a yes then,’ he said.
> Cheek. He’s so confident, I thought, but I couldn’t resist nodding that it was a yes. In fact, it was a double yes with knobs on.
‘Nesta, get off my case, OK?’ I said. ‘I thought you’d have been pleased that I am hanging out with your mate. She seems happy enough about it.’ It had been a couple of weeks since I’d bumped into Lucy at Camden and I was getting to like her more and more.
We’d been to see a movie together. I’d picked one I knew she’d like, a romantic comedy, and her behaviour while we were watching it had made me smile. She acted like she was trying to be all grown up and had sat with a straight back throughout the film. She’d almost jumped out of her skin when our hands brushed each other when we both reached into the popcorn at the same time. Her shyness is so cute.
We’d also been for smoothies in Highgate last weekend and that time she was more confident. She’d been working on some dress designs and was animated about her ideas. I told her that her passion was very alluring and she went bright pink, but I could see she was chuffed as anything. Apart from that, we’d hung out after school in Costa, casual, but I made sure I sat near her and made a lot of eye contact. Heh heh, all part of the master plan to get her to fall into my arms.
Nesta grimaced. ‘I mean it, Tony. If you hurt her, I will kill you. Personally. Lucy’s a sweet girl and we’re really getting along now. The last thing I need is for her to get messed up with you and then feel that she has to avoid me as well as you.’
‘I am not going to ruin it for you. I know your motto: boys come and go, friends are for life. Listen, if anything it’s her that’s giving me the run around!’
‘Yeah right,’ said Nesta. ‘When has a girl ever given you the run around?’
‘No really. She really is. It’s hysterical, sometimes she’s pleased to see me and her face lights up; other times, like the other night at Costa, she’s, like, “Whatever,” and goes home early. Early! Like she has something better to do!’
Nesta started laughing. ‘Good for her,’ she said.
‘For her maybe. Not for me. Sometimes I call and she says, “Oh hi, Tone, call you back in a mo,” and then she doesn’t. So I call her and she goes, “Oh, sorry, meant to call. Forgot.” Forgot? I mean, as you well know, girls do not treat me like that. There is a queue of girls hoping that I will call them. So chill, Nesta. She’s giving me the run around.’
‘I have trained her well,’ said Nesta in the voice of Obi-Wan Kenobi from Star Wars.
‘No,’ I said. ‘Oh no. Don’t tell me that you’ve been giving her advice about dealing with me.’
‘Not about you, dingbat. About boys in general. Course I have. She’s my mate and you know it is my area of expertise.’
I thumped my forehead with my hand. ‘And who trained you up? Moi.’
Nesta grinned. ‘Yeah. So you only have yourself to blame.’ She scrutinised me closely. ‘Sure you’re not playing with her? Like she’s a pet or something?’
I shrugged. ‘Bit. I mean, we’re young, we’re free, etc, etc. But I do like her. I do. And while we’re on the subject of Lucy, tell me, what does she say about me? Does she talk about me? I bet she can’t stop talking about me, yeah? Always asking questions? Trying to get everything she can out about me from you?’
Nesta shook her head. ‘Actually no. She never asks about you. Dunno. Maybe because you’re my brother. Maybe she talks to Izzie.’
‘Huh.’ She might be playing it cool, I thought, but she’s good, really good. Almost as good as I am. Drat and double drat.
Nesta got up and left the kitchen, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I made a second cappuccino and sat at the breakfast bar. I might call Lucy and see what she’s doing, I decided. I hadn’t told Nesta the whole truth and that was that Lucy was starting to get under my skin in a way that no other girl ever had before. No one was more surprised about it than me, but when we were together, it felt right. We fitted. It felt comfortable, like I’d known her for ever, but more than that – and something I hadn’t told Nesta in case she whacked me one – there was some almighty chemistry going on between us. It was there the first time we kissed, but I was messing about then, trying to freak out Nesta. Now we’d had a couple of sessions, it was getting steamy – but it wasn’t just that, I’d had plenty of steam with other girls. Lucy was interesting, fun to be with, she had ambitions and we had a laugh. So yeah, I fancied Lucy more than I had let on to anyone, even Rob.
I wondered what she thought now that we’d had a few dates. Did she still rate me as her perfect boy? Had I lived up to the expectations she had when she first saw me and came looking for me as her Mystery Contestant? Of course, I could never ask or let on that I knew that I was the boy she was looking for. That was still my secret. I hadn’t told Rob about that either.
Yeah. Lucy was different and she was a challenge. Just thinking about kissing her was making me feel hot and bothered. Time to take it all to another level methinks. So far, we’d only kissed, but last night when the girls had a sleepover here, Lucy came into my room and we had a long snog on my bed before she went in to share the sofa-bed with Izzie in Dad’s office. I tested the water about going a step further and she brushed me off which I expected first time around, but she didn’t seem mad with me, so . . . maybe next time I’ll try again and see what happens. I know she wants me.
I was about to call her when my mobile rang. Telepathy. It was Lucy.
‘Hey Tone,’ she started.
‘Hey Juicy Lucy. You were gone by the time I got up this morning. I thought I’d see you after the sleepover.’
‘Um yeah. Stuff to do. Listen. Um. We need to talk.’
Oh God, I thought. The ‘we need to talk’ line. It usually comes when a girl wants to tie me down. So maybe she’s going to prove me wrong after all, she’s not as laid back as I thought and she’s going to do the clingy, ‘Are we really committed? Are we an item?’ conversation. Maybe it’s not such a bad thing. Maybe, yes . . . maybe this time I could actually commit. Well, for a few weeks at least.
‘OK, shoot.’
‘I . . . er . . . ’
Spit it out, I thought. I’ve heard it all before. You want commitment. You want people to know we’re a couple. Etc, etc. Weirdly the idea of being with one girl for a while wasn’t freaking me out like it usually did.
‘OK, I’ll just dive in. I . . . um . . . It doesn’t feel right any more.’
‘Doesn’t feel right? Wha—’
‘Let me finish. You know I really like you but I’ve been feeling miserable after last night after the . . . um, snog sesh. I’m not ready to go further, Tony. I want it to be special and I’m not sure of you or us yet.’
Oh here we go, I thought. She’s going to ask me to go steady or whatever it’s called. I can do that if that’s what she wants.
‘So . . . ’ She hesitated.
‘Yes?’
‘So I don’t think we should date any more. I . . . I hope we can stay friends.’
WHAT?! I thought. Am I hearing what I think I’m hearing? Those are all my lines. I hope we can stay friends. It’s over. I really like you but . . . Myyyy lines. MY lines! ‘What?’
‘I know there’s something special with us but . . . it’s all been happening a bit fast and I feel bad about doing this on the phone but I didn’t want to leave things unclear any longer. After last night, I think it’s obvious that you want to take things further – and why not, you are older than me – but I’m not ready so I think it’s for the best if we take a break.’
A girl was dumping me. Dumping me! This just didn’t happen.
‘Maybe we can do a movie or something some day, hey?’ she continued. (Also one of my lines) ‘Be nice to see you sometimes. I don’t want to lose touch.’ (Don’t want to lose touch! Another of my lines.) ‘Tony. Tony. Are you there? You’ve gone very quiet.’
I told myself to put up the inner barriers fast, to not let her know what I was feeling. But what was I feeling? Being dumped was new territory to me. I took a breath. �
�Yeah I’m here. Sorry, babe. A text was coming in.’ (Big lie but I have to bluff it.) ‘From Jess. Remember her? You met her in the hall a while back. So yeah. What were you saying? Take a break? Yeah. Good idea. Absolutely cool with me. We weren’t exactly an item, were we?’
‘No but —’
‘No buts, babe. Stay cool yeah.’
‘Yeah.’
‘Laters.’
I put the phone down. Dumped! Me! I could not believe it. First time in my life and by a girl a lot younger than me, mate of my sister’s too. What was I feeling? Stunned. Surprised. And what’s more . . . hurt.
Lucy’s diary
15 December
Oh my God. What have I done? Have I just made the biggest mistake of my whole life? Argh and ergh. I have just finished with Tony. Why did I do that? I love him. Have I blown it for ever just because he wanted to go further and I panicked? Oh cripes. He must think I am such a big baby. What now? Go crawling back? Beg? No way, he’d love that. Oh heckity heck. I hate all this game playing. I don’t want to do it but maybe have to with a boy like him. I can’t let him see how he gets to me. I shall be cool. I shall, I can do it. I shall be glacial. I shall be a lofty goddess looking down on the Tonester from afar. He is the one who will come crawling back. Oh Goooood. I think I am going to blub.
30th March
Keep forgetting to write this! Weeks and weeks have gone by and I have been a very good girl and totally focused on my school work. I think for the first time in my whole life I am actually up to date with homework and even ahead with my art project. Mum has been very worried and thinks I am ill. I probably am – lovesick – but I had to do something to take my mind off Tony and the fact that I may have lost him for ever.
Everyone seems to have a boy, though. Izzie has a new boyfriend called Ben. He sings in a band called King Noz and is v. cool. I like him better than the other boy she was after for a while. He was called Mark and was a bit full of himself methinks. Izzie likes Ben better too. She’s going to sing with him next time the band performs.
The Secret Story Page 4