by Lori Foster
She sounded far too admiring for Brick’s peace of mind. Was she still hung up on the guy? “I’d say he should have kept waiting, but would that have done any good?”
She shook her head. “Maybe because I knew a normal life wasn’t in the works for me, I couldn’t see getting that intimate.”
How intimate had she gotten? No, maybe he didn’t want to know. “You loved him?”
“Yes.”
A little hard to buy because if she’d loved him, wouldn’t she have found a way? Or maybe she loved him—but didn’t really want him. Was that possible between a man and woman? He adored his sister-in-law, Cinder, but he didn’t have sexual thoughts about her.
And any woman that dated Jesse first was automatically off-limits. He didn’t go where best friends or brothers had gone before. Period. It had nothing to do with the woman, and it didn’t matter how attractive she might be.
“Maybe,” Brick ventured, sharing his thoughts, “you loved him more as a friend than anything else.”
Merrily frowned, then shook her head. “Actually...I don’t know. Maybe I just loved the idea of being in love, the idea of having a marriage and a family and a place of my own.”
She deserved all that and more.
But first she deserved the best sex he could possibly give her.
Without her noticing, Brick got closer again. “You wanted a partner to help you carry the burden.” His hand slid under her hair to cup around the back of her neck. “That’s what he should have been.”
His nearness quickened her breath. Nice.
“Without any...reward at all?”
“You think your company isn’t reward enough?”
“Ha!” She lightly slugged him in the middle. “Like that would be enough for any guy.”
“For any guy in love.... Yeah, I don’t know.” Being in love would only make abstinence more difficult. Hell, Brick wasn’t in love with her, and it ate him up to have to wait.
“Understand, Brick, I didn’t think of my mother as a burden. I loved her so I wanted to be there with her. But yes, it would have been nice to share that responsibility and worry with someone.”
A new thought chewed on his peace of mind. “Do you love him still?”
“No.”
The denial came too quickly to satisfy. Brick tipped up her chin. “You sure?”
Without hesitation, she nodded. “Looking back, I’m not certain exactly what I felt for Kyle even then. I know it hurt a lot when he asked for his ring back. He’d said he loved me, that he wanted to be with me, but he couldn’t deal with everything as it was.” Her mouth twisted. “After he broke things off, he told me that if things ever changed, he wanted to know.”
“Meaning what?” Good God, Brick couldn’t imagine that sentiment. “He wanted you to get in touch if you walked out on your mom?” Like she would ever do such a thing. Hadn’t the guy known her at all?
Lifting one shoulder, Merrily looked away. “Something like that, I guess.”
Something like...when her mother had died? Damn it, he couldn’t help it. He tugged her in closer, tucked her face under his chin and wrapped his arms around her to rock her gently from side to side. “I’m sorry.”
She surprised him by clinging to him. “The funniest part is that not long after he said that, he moved in with another woman.”
Bastard.
She hid her face against his shoulder. “A few months later...my mother took a turn for the worse and she passed away.”
He hugged her tighter still, wishing he could take some of the pain that remained with her.
“Obviously,” Merrily choked out, “I did not call him.”
“Course not.” He kissed the top of her head, her ear. “I’m so damn sorry, honey.”
She drew a slow breath. “I didn’t know what to do with myself after she died. So much of my life was wrapped up into caring for her. My schedule was set up around her needs. I had a few female friends, but no one superclose, so I decided it’d be best to get a fresh perspective on things. I moved here, found a job and got my credits transferred to the new college.”
Brick tangled a hand in her cool, silky hair. “And you decided to lose your virginity.” He realized now that it had been a deliberate choice on her part.
He’d been a deliberate choice—and it humbled him.
“Yes.” She didn’t look at him. “I didn’t expect you to know my entire history, though.”
“Does it matter?”
“Of course it does. Over and over, Kyle told me he wanted to be the first. I think he probably stayed with me as long as he did just hoping to see the big payoff, you know?”
“You keep underestimating yourself, like you think lack of experience is the only appeal.”
A dry, humorless laugh escaped her. “Get real, Brick. For him, at least, it was. That’s why even after he broke things off, he still felt like he’d earned the right.”
“Tough luck for him, then, huh?” Brick wanted no misunderstandings. “Because I’m here now.” And he wasn’t about to budge.
Full of resentment, she said, “For the same reason as Kyle.”
“Don’t compare me to some selfish dick, okay?” He tipped her back so he could see her face. “That’s not me.”
“Right.” Derisive, a little militant, she tried to push away from him. “You’re saying it doesn’t matter to you?”
“Course it does. Most men are possessive by nature, and virgins factor into fantasies even more than porno stars.” He grinned at her. “But aren’t you curious why I said you scare me? Because, lady, seriously, I don’t scare easily.”
Her eyes narrowed. “Okay, not that I’m buying it, but why would I scare you?”
Before he laid it all on her, a bit of forewarning seemed in order. “It’s probably going to piss you off a little.”
Her expression went taut. “Tell me anyway.”
“Promise you’ll hear me out?”
“Depends on what you say, now, doesn’t it?”
The prickly temper only made her all the more adorable to him. Yeah, he was a Neanderthal, but at least he knew it. “All right.” Anticipating her reaction, Brick admitted, “Around you, I have a major loss of control.”
Fascination took some of the heat from her annoyance. “What does that mean exactly?”
“Like I said, you look at me, talk to me, or God forbid you smile, and I react like that testosterone-ridden sixteen-year-old kid again seeing my first naked female. That’s not something I’m used to.”
She studied him. “Later, I’d like to hear more about your first experience. But for now—”
“For now, you need to understand that I also worried about you getting hung up on me.”
“What?”
“If you get too involved, I might break your heart. You’re so damn sweet, Merrily. I really don’t want to put you through that.”
It was almost comical, the sweeping emotions passing over her features—emotions that ended in righteous indignation. Intent on freeing herself from his embrace, she gave him a shove, but Brick held on to her, and when he started laughing, he thought she’d slug him.
“Settle down, okay? I already know I’m an ass.” He caught her hands and held them behind her back. “Surely you see my dilemma, sweet Merrily.”
“No!”
He laughed again. “I’m always up-front with women. I don’t want anyone getting ideas. I like my life the way it is. Sex is just that—sex. Not a commitment.”
“Don’t drive it into the ground, Brick. I get it already.”
He gave her a laughing smooch on her pinched mouth. “The idea of your virginity has been both a lure and a concern.”
“Oh, my God. You are so conceited!”
“I know.” He n
uzzled her in closer, kissing her ear, that special place where her throat met her shoulder. “But I swear, when it comes to sex, I have good reason.”
She went still, then soft in his arms. “Lacking in modesty, too.”
Yet she sounded intrigued. He hid his smile against her cheek. “So here’s what I propose.”
She groaned.
“No, not a marriage proposal, so stop all the melodrama.” Brick couldn’t remember ever being mired in such a powerful combo of lust and humor. It was unique.
She was unique.
He carried her hands back up to his neck and slid his hands down to the small of her back. “For now, why don’t I make a strategic retreat? You can have the night to think about things, to decide if you still want me—and if so, I promise you won’t regret it. But go into it with your eyes wide open.”
“Meaning sex and only sex?”
“Sex and conversation and a few laughs. Some good times.” He wanted all that because he didn’t want her to have regrets. “I’ll make it good for you, Merrily. Better than good. You have my word.” Then he rethought that and added, “Well, maybe not the first time. I have a feeling that once I get your panties off, it’s going to be a very close thing.”
Her mouth fell open, then snapped shut as her face went up in flames.
He remained serious. He wanted her to believe him. “After that, every time after that, count on loving it. And that’s not an idle brag, okay? I do know what I’m doing.”
The heat extended into her gaze. Her lips parted. She nodded. “Okay.”
Pretty sure he’d already won her over, Brick added, “But understand that I’m not the type to settle down anytime soon.”
“Good.”
“Good?”
She nodded. “My life has recently taken a dramatic change. I want to live for a while without serious restrictions—and you already said you’re possessive, so you would certainly be a restriction.”
“Yeah, probably.” He knew himself well enough to know that once he fell in love, he’d probably be nearly unbearable. Luckily, he had no intentions of falling in love, and she didn’t want that anyway. Did she? “You’re okay with that?”
She nodded. “Once I no longer have that stupid badge of innocence, I won’t have to worry what motivates other guys.”
Other guys. His good mood slipped. “You’re planning ahead, are you?”
“Absolutely.”
Damn. He felt...insulted. Hearing her talk about a new life that didn’t involve him sort of burned his ass. He hadn’t had her yet, so he damn straight didn’t want to think about some future bozo getting down and dirty with her.
“So.” She smoothed a small hand over his chest. “What do we do now?”
“I’ll come by tomorrow with Jesse and we’ll switch out the doors.” Jesse’s help wasn’t necessary, but hey, he had a pleasant surprise for his friend and couldn’t wait to share it with him. “Sunday I can put in the pet opening. After that, you and I can get busy.”
“You’re talking two days from now?”
She sounded as forlorn as he felt over the wait. But he had to be fair to her even if it killed him. And waiting until Sunday meant she’d then have the whole day free—which meant he’d have all day to really enjoy himself.
“Two days of kissing, maybe a little touching—” God, he’d never survive this “—getting more familiar and after that, after you’ve had plenty of time to think things over, you can decide what you want.”
With any luck, and a little persuasion on his part, she’d want him, only him, for a good long stretch of sexual indulgence.
The way he felt right now, he couldn’t accept any other outcome.
CHAPTER FOUR
MERRILY HAD NO real choice but to abide by Brick’s bizarre terms—for now.
Why would he encourage her to think it over before making a move if he really wanted her as badly as he claimed? Her only conclusion was that he didn’t. She doubted that he’d find sex with her to be a hardship, but all that nonsense about her testing his control? Just that: nonsense.
Seemed to her he had too much control. For sure, far more than she had.
Swallowing back her complaints, she walked him to the front door. Like the Pied Piper, she had both dogs and all three cats following along.
It was pretty nice how Brick accepted them all. He stepped over and around pet toys, picked up a floating tuft of cat fur to throw away and gave attention to each animal before focusing that awesome gaze on her.
She gulped in rising need. “It’s not going to be easy, Brick.”
“Waiting?” Expression warm and big hands gentle, he cupped her face. “You’re preaching to the choir on that one, honey.”
Merrily stared up at him. He was so tall, so broad-shouldered and muscular and sexy. She swayed toward him. “Then maybe—”
He kissed her.
And wow, what a kiss. Firm lips moved over hers until they parted, then his damp tongue stroked in. He was an incredible kisser, teasing and encouraging until she clung to him.
She wasn’t inexperienced enough to miss his erection or the way his hands trembled, how his breath hitched.
After freeing her mouth, he hugged her close for a few rib-knocking heartbeats, then stepped back. “I gotta go before I change my mind.” He opened the door and stepped out. “Think about me tonight, okay? It’s for sure I’m going to be thinking about you.”
Holding the doorknob for support, Merrily watched him go in a long-legged, slightly stiff stride. His profile showed the tight way he held his jaw, and after he got into his truck, he sat there a moment, head back, eyes closed.
Okay, so maybe she really did test his control. That made his insistence on giving her time...noble. Considerate.
And so incredibly sweet.
Seeing him struggle for composure made her want him all the more. Knowing he was so blasted nice really cinched the deal.
Not fall in love with him?
Shoot, she was already halfway there and she knew it. The trick would be making sure Brick never found out. She’d manage because otherwise he might really walk away.
And now that she’d had a small taste, she wanted the whole man.
She wanted Brick Carlisle.
* * *
THE NEXT DAY, Merrily hung back as Jesse and Brick discussed her apparently awesome vintage door. If having one big hunk in her small living space was odd, having two there was enough to leave her mute. They took up so much room, had so much presence, and she could almost swear an air of testosterone swirled around them.
They were male with a capital M.
It took all her concentration not to drag Brick off somewhere.
When he’d arrived, he’d kissed her hello with warm familiarity, but with his friend standing there, it had been frustratingly brief. And for the fifteen minutes since then, he’d stayed busy introducing her pets, giving them some attention and showing Jesse the door to be replaced.
Last night, the things he’d said and the things he’d done had all conspired to leave her muddled. After he’d left, she’d spent a sleepless night thinking of him, just as he’d told her to.
Today, she was on pins and needles waiting to see what he’d do.
Brick had bold and outrageous down to a fine art. So much so that she’d accused him of being conceited, but with the way he kissed, she believed him when he said he had reason for boasting.
All those promises of satisfaction left her nerve endings sizzling. And he wanted to give her time to think about his “offer.” How could she think of anything else?
What was there to think about anyway? It wasn’t like she could summon up the fortitude to turn him away. Like a starving person offered a meal, he tempted her beyond reason.
As far as her
falling for him and getting hurt... She’d thought about that a lot last night...and during her classes...and while at work.
Thinking of much else hadn’t been possible.
She wasn’t a dummy. She knew how their relationship would go. She’d heard the whispers at work, saw the way the other waitresses stared at him.
Already, she was more invested than him. How could she not be?
Yes, she’d wanted to experience life. Specifically she wanted to experience sex. Now...she just wanted to experience Brick Carlisle.
Even in her hottest fantasies, she hadn’t dredged up a man even half as appealing as him.
A sexual relationship was, for him, a routine thing.
For her, with Brick, it would be beyond incredible.
She’d rushed home from work, then rushed through a shower. She’d even done some primping for him when there were clearly other things she should have been doing—like laundry, or writing her college papers, or cleaning up all the pet fur that accumulated in a twenty-four-hour period. While she’d hurriedly painted her toenails, the dogs had watched her in fascination, the cats with disdain.
But she didn’t care.
Consequences be damned, she wanted him. Sooner rather than later. Somehow she’d convince him that she could stay emotionally detached.
And maybe, if she got lucky, in the process she’d convince herself, as well.
* * *
WHILE JESSE PRETENDED great enthusiasm about the door, Brick glanced at Merrily. When he saw her standing there watching him in something of a daze, he smiled to himself. If the flush in her cheeks meant anything, her thoughts ran the same course as his.
She’d spiffed up a little today. Her soft brown hair hung in loose curls, she wore a pretty sundress and she’d painted her toenails. It was sort of endearing that she thought he needed enticement.
Hell, he wanted her so much, she could probably shave her head and wear burlap and he’d still be panting for her. He had it bad—and only part of it was her innocence. The rest was pure Merrily, the way she smiled, how she watched him so intently.
The idea that she wanted him enough to give up her virginity.