by Sara Bushway
"I...I need to learn how to read," Honey whispered.
Dane sighed and nodded, "Yeah, I figured. Not because of what you were but because schooling is expensive and--I'll try to make time to teach you, but it will be slow-going. You must know that I'm very busy."
Honey nodded in earnest. "I promise that I’ll be a good student, and I’ll never bother you about it. I know that you have a lot that you do for Ana—well, for all of us, but I would appreciate it if you could teach me to read...even just a little."
Dane smiled. "I’ll try. Come on. I still have to get home in time to cook dinner."
"I’ll help," Honey chirped and suddenly looked ashamed. "Not because I’m trying to bribe you to teach me to read or anything…"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Dane joked and rolled his eyes. "You just like me for my huge, throbbing brain."
Honey brought his hands to his mouth in a futile attempt to stifle his laughter and turned to go back to the foyer with Dane following shortly behind. Considering how much time the boys all spent together, they rarely shared lewd jokes, Dane least of all. It wasn't new for Honey to hear such things, but it had occurred to him that there was a big difference between the jokes boys told and the jokes the girls told back at the mansion. If Honey had said something like that, the girls would have been stunned silent.
Dane approached the desk once more and looked up at the little man.
"Everything seems to be in order here," the old man said. He brought a stack of books up from seemingly nowhere and placed them in front of Dane. "And here are the ones you ordered. Just give me a moment to stamp them for you."
Once again, Honey stared in awe. Dane wasn't afraid of the little, old man in charge of the library, so Honey decided he ought not to be either. He approached the marble desk and gazed up at the man.
"How long does he get to keep them?" Honey asked.
The man smiled down at him. "Well, the due date is stamped on the inside of each book. Two weeks from today." He leaned in close and winked at Honey as he added, "But for this one, I make exceptions."
Honey nodded. "He’s very busy. I don’t know how he ever finds the time to read."
"Well, son," the man said, leaning back in his chair and stamping the inside cover of the last book, "if it’s important to you, you make time for it."
Honey nodded again. He couldn’t imagine the things the little, old man who guarded the world’s knowledge must know. What he had said made perfect sense. Honey had only ever gotten to tending the girls’ clothes and visiting Betty in the kitchen when he gave up time that he could have been selling himself, bathing, or sleeping. But they were important to him and well worth the sacrifice. Dane nodded his thanks to the man and reached for his books but not before Honey snatched them off the desk and held them tight.
"I’ve got them," Honey said and bid goodbye to the little man.
Chapter Seven
After his outing with Dane, Honey knew two things for certain; he always wanted to go with Dane on all of his outings whenever possible and that he needed to learn how to read if he was going to discover everything that the library had to offer him in terms of knowledge. His first goal came to fruition the morning after their first trip to the library. Dane called on him and told him that he felt bad about not having enough time to go get Honey fitted for some new clothes that he so desperately needed. Furthermore, if Honey could get his chores done early enough, Dane would ask Anastasia for some money so that they could go shopping together. Honey was elated at the idea of spending another day out with Dane and quickly set off to get his work done.
Most days, Honey was in charge of simple tasks like dusting knickknacks, polishing the steel in the kitchen, and making sure the entertaining spaces looked nice. Today, he also had to do his laundry and groom himself. Anastasia had made an off-hand comment about a little bit of peach fuzz coming in above his lip, which led to a discussion about how his hair was getting a little shaggy too. Honey kind of liked the way he looked with longer hair, but Anastasia insisted that he trim it or go to a barber to have it done because it ruined his boyish charm. He decided to cut it himself. After all, he had watched the girls cut his hair in the mirror for years, so he had a basic understanding of how to do it and make it lay right. Shaving off his budding mustache was no big deal, though. He had briefly considered letting it grow a little more, having noticed that Dane was starting to let a thin, debonair strip of mustache remain. It was difficult to see against his pale skin, but Honey thought it looked good on him and wondered how he would look with something similar. But Anastasia's word was law. According to the twins, she was not past taking matters into her own hands if you did not groom properly, and she would not be gentle. So, after his cleaning and a quick trim of his locks, he showered and shaved to avoid the embarrassment of all that.
Once he was finished, he let Dane know and went to his room to change into clothes that didn't smell like cleaning chemicals. He didn't have much to pick from but decided that an old pair of blue jeans Jez had given him and a plain black tee-shirt would be good enough to go shopping in. It seemed that, no matter what he wore of his current wardrobe, he always felt over-dressed or under-dressed. Today, he felt the latter. Dane always looked so nice in his button-up shirts and slacks or pressed jeans. Underneath, he always wore a comfortable, cotton tee shirt of a certain style that could be bought in many different colors, but he never left the house without something on over it. Honey stepped out of his room and caught sight of him in his favorite salmon pink button-up shirt over white slacks and a black wrap that covered his long, white braid of hair, excluding the hair-tie at the top and the little tuft of hair that poked out of the hair-tie at the bottom. Ettie occasionally gave Dane a hard time about his favorite color being pink when he wore that shirt, but Honey hoped he was kidding around. After all, for a man of such pale complexion, pink looked quite fine on him. It might have even improved the appearance of his skin tone a little, unlike his darker blue and black shirts, which only seemed to rob him of what little color he had. Anastasia liked him better in blue and told him so many times in front of the others, but Dane was resolute; pink was and always would be his favorite color.
Honey watched him gently knock on Anastasia’s door and then enter. Deciding that it would be best for him to be ready when the older boy was, he went downstairs and put on his shoes. After a few minutes of waiting for Dane by the door, Honey started to worry as he had the previous day.
Perhaps she had a matter that she needed to discuss with him, he thought. He also remembered that Dane had medicines to take before he could leave. He slid his shoes off and glanced at the couch where Jez lay, entranced by the puzzle cube in his hands comprised of smaller cubes that rotated in all directions. Despite how many hours Jez spent rotating the sides, it never seemed to be any closer to getting solved. He plopped down next to Jez’s feet and put them in his lap.
"What are you up to, Honey?" Jez idly said while Honey gently pinched the little wiggling lumps inside Jez's socks.
"Dane and I are going shopping," Honey chirped, "for new clothes."
Jez looked up from his toy. "That’s great. Not that shopping is fun, but you need some new clothes."
Honey nodded and took Jez’s foot in his hands. He started to massage it, lulling Jez into a false sense of comfort and security. Moments later, Honey whipped the sock off of Jez’s foot and rushed to the stairs.
"Hey!" Jez called out. He dropped the puzzle and gave chase. Honey scrambled to get up the stairs but fell to his knees half-way up in a fit of giggles, and Jez wrapped his arms around him from behind. Honey managed to inch his way to the top of the stairs, where the two giggled and wrestled over the pilfered sock a scant few feet from Anastasia's door.
"Give that back!" Jez commanded. "I’ve heard about how you like to wear your socks!"
Honey fought to keep the sock just out of reach of Jez’s grasping hand. "I need clothes, Jez! I NEED this sock!"
Then Jez resorted to the most evil of wrestl
ing tactics: tickling. He straddled Honey and ferociously ticked at his sides and stomach, rendering Honey utterly defenseless. He had enough control over his own body scarcely to bring his arms down over his mid-section to try to protect himself from Jez's tickle-assault, still gripping the sock in one hand. Honey wasn't sure about how long this went on, but it was certainly long enough for Dane to be done speaking with Anastasia.
"Boys!" she admonished from the doorway of her bedroom. "What is this?"
Jez and Honey froze in place and looked up at her.
"I’m not really hurting him," Jez said defensively.
Honey nodded, still tittering from all of the excitement. "It’s true. I started it. I stole his sock." She stared at him incredulously for a moment, prompting Honey to hold the sock up. Her features softened, but her stare was hard as stone.
"Well, you should give it back to him immediately," Anastasia said sternly. Honey looked up at Jez and held the sock out to him.
"I’m sorry, Jez," Honey said through stifled giggles. "Here is your sock."
Jez, still grinning from the ordeal, put a stern face on and snatched the sock from Honey's grip. "My cold left foot thanks you," Jez joked and playfully stalked off to his and Jaq's room.
The lady turned and glanced up at Dane. "Take him shopping. He’s obviously feeling rambunctious."
Dane nodded to her, bent down, and helped Honey to his feet. "Yes, ma’am."
"And be careful out there," she added. Dane nodded again.
Honey’s humor dissipated as she turned and went back into her room, closing the door behind her.
"I didn’t mean to anger her," Honey whispered. "Should I apologize to her?"
Dane shook his head. "No. She’s just...dealing with some other issues right now," he explained. "Come on. Let’s go."
Dane took Honey to a nice clothing store in the middle of town where they pre-tailored many of their items to fit the most common sizes, thus saving their clients the time of having to wait for the tailor to measure, fit, and sew them. Based on how Jez’s old clothes fit him, Dane picked out some nice blue jeans, a few polo shirts, and some dress pants while Honey went around, picked out random clothes that he liked, and draped them over his arm.
"Alright," Dane said, stepping into the largest dressing room with Honey and hung the clothes he had picked for him on the hooks on the wall. "Let's see what we have here…"
Honey hung the clothes he had picked opposite the ones Dane had picked. Dane snickered at Honey's picks.
"What?" Honey asked. "What’s wrong?"
Dane reached over and plucked one of the items from the wall behind Honey. He turned the item back and forth, revealing the front and back of a black, cap-sleeve blouse with deep red roses all over it.
"Honey," he managed, still stifling himself, "this is a girls' shirt."
Honey looked at the beautiful shirt and then up at Dane. "Are you sure?"
"It is low-cut in the front to reveal a woman's cleavage," Dane explained, pointing out a v-shaped neckline. "See here?"
"Oh." Honey’s face pinked slightly. "I guess...I thought it was to keep you from getting too warm. I like the print and the feel of the material."
Dane smiled and shook his head, hanging the item on an empty hook. "We can look for something like it for you, but it’s best to keep to the ‘Men’s’ section. Their clothes aren’t cut to look right on a man’s body. If we can't find one like it, we can see if the tailor will see you today for measuring."
Honey sighed, "How unfair."
Dane nodded in agreement and picked up a dark blue pair of jeans and a red polo shirt with a black and grey argyle pattern running down the left side that he had picked.
"Perhaps someday, clothes will just be clothes, and everyone will wear whatever they want," he commented. "Here. Try these on. The pants might seem a little long. I picked them in hopes that you'll get to wear them for more than a season. You're still growing, you know."
Honey nodded and undressed. It didn’t take long for Dane’s smile to fade as he gazed at the scars that streaked Honey’s bare chest. Honey tried to ignore it, but the pity in Dane’s stare was too much.
"They don’t hurt anymore," Honey explained. "Sometimes they itch, but…I don’t really think about them a lot anymore." That was the first lie he had ever told Dane, and judging by the look on Dane’s face, he knew it. He reached out and touched one of the deeper gashes that the girls’ magic couldn’t seal and sighed.
"I think I may have a salve that might help them heal a little better. They’ll never be completely gone unless you go to a very skilled healer," he explained, "but with some proper moisturizing and some herbs, they might blend in with your skin a little better than that."
Honey looked down. It was true. They looked like red, hap-hazard stripes across his tan skin. No amount of make-up had ever really hidden them well enough to deter people from asking questions, though even trying to cover them made him feel a little better about it. He smiled up at Dane. "That would be great."
The two made idle chit-chat as Honey dressed and undressed over and over again in all of the outfits they had picked for him. Dane was quite lenient with letting Honey get some of the things he had picked, as long as they looked nice on him. Eventually, Honey felt that they had been talking long enough that he could ask about Dane's condition and did so. Dane calmly explained that he actually had multiple ailments that all led back to a genetic abnormality. His pale white-ish-yellow skin and hair were all thanks to a problem with his body producing something called melanin. It produced some, unlike those who were called 'albino,' but it wasn't peach or caramel or the warm brown of hot chocolate. It was white. The yellow came on because his organs were also failing to do their jobs. The medicines helped, but sometimes, the medicines stopped working, and he had to go back to the doctor to try new drugs or different mixes and doses of the old drugs to try to make them work again. Honey wondered why Dane hadn't gone to a healer to try to heal his ailments using magical means, but before he could ask, Dane explained his beginnings.
His people had forsaken him as a small child after multiple attempts to exorcise the demons out of him that they believed were causing his unusual appearance and health issues. They may have killed him had they not feared that destroying his body would release the ancient evil within him. Instead, they sold him to a workhouse, where he stayed for over a decade until Anastasia's husband bought him as a gift for his beloved wife. Because of Dane's experiences with members of the church, the healers required to keep him healthy had to be acquired by trusted associates of Anastasia and the mister in order to protect him.
Several years later, when Dane came of proper age, the man of the house asked him to expand his upkeep from just taking care of stuff around the house to catering to his wife's needs to keep her from going to 'unclean establishments.'
Honey frowned at that and stared down into the black material of the shirt he had just been handed. He knew Dane hadn’t meant it that way, but the words still stung. Beaumont’s awful growl rang in his ears.
Nasty, little cum-dumpster…
Dane put a hand on his shoulder, bringing Honey out of the darkness of his own mind.
"I’m sorry," he said. "I didn’t mean it like that." He smiled as he added, "I’m really glad you’re here now."
Honey smiled and nodded up at him. "It's okay. I know what I am. It just...didn't bother me when it was all I ever thought I could be. Now...now I feel like I have to make up for being so lowly a creature for so long."
Dane shook his head. "Everything that has happened to you has led you to where you are now. All of the good stuff, all of the bad stuff. It’s all a wash when you realize that every day, you have a new chance to become who you want to be."
"Gosh, I wish I knew who that was," Honey said, only half-joking. Dane’s words had made Honey feel better, knowing that the past doesn’t really matter in the grand scheme of things, but it also made him feel a little empty. He hadn’t aspired to
be anything other than what he had been. He just didn’t want to be treated badly anymore. He noticed Dane still looking at him and smiled. "Thanks, Dane."
Dane smiled, mussed Honey's golden hair, and turned to pick out another outfit for him to try on next. They both enjoyed Dane dressing him up as his own little doll. At one point, he even picked a few outfits that looked much like the ones Dane himself wore regularly; nice slacks, colorful button-up shirts, and fine, black shoes. Initially, it had been a bit of a joke, but Honey ended up liking some of the nicer items Dane had picked and put them on a bench that eventually became the "yes" pile.
They prattled on about this and that, eventually coming back to the subject of the boys in Anastasia's house. Ettie had been bought from a different workhouse by one of Anastasia's close friends a few years into his servitude. The ladies came together and decided it would be fun for their servant boys to have playdates together to help socialize them and give them both a break from household duties. As the two grew older, they started to speak of their duties to the ladies, and Dane discovered that Ettie was horribly abused. He was forced to do demeaning tasks, allow horrible, painful things to be done to him, and if he refused, he would be denied meals and sleep for however many days the lady of the house thought was appropriate. Once Dane found out, he wasted no time in telling Anastasia, who immediately sought out a way to rescue Ettie from his lady's clutches. It took months, but she found a way. Without telling her husband, Anastasia saved a little money each month and made the lady an offer she couldn't refuse. Either Anastasia would be able to buy Ettie from her for a reasonable price, or she would report both the boy's existence and abuse to the lady's husband, who was unaware that his darling wife had bought herself a boy for her uses while he was gone. The lady accepted and signed him over to Anastasia without hassle. Shortly thereafter, the lady moved and never spoke to Anastasia again.
That explains a lot, Honey thought. Ettie had gone through something traumatic. That would definitely affect his ability to make friends easily. It didn’t excuse all of his rudeness, but at least it gave Honey some insight into why he was so abrasive sometimes.