Life Or Something Like It

by Annie Lyons

  ‘It’s coming out now and oooh, that’s much better.’

  Cat stared at the ceiling and tried to pretend that she was having cocktails in Shoreditch House. Ellie went about her business and after she had wiped declared that ‘it came out clean so I didn’t really need to wipe.’

  ‘You stink,’ said Charlie with a grin.

  ‘I know.’ Ellie beamed.

  ‘Okay, go and wash your hands now,’ said Cat. As Ellie filled her hands with too much soap and proceeded to flood the floor beneath her basin, Cat turned to Charlie. ‘Thank you for distracting her,’ she said. He shrugged.

  ‘That was fun,’ said Ellie as they made their way out towards the door. ‘Can we go for lunch now, please?’

  When she told Andrew later about their dining experience, he was a little too quick to point out that she should have saved herself the bother and taken the children to McDonald’s.

  ‘The treat aspect to eating out for kids is the fact that they’re not eating at home,’ he said plainly.

  Cat did not know this and she also didn’t go to McDonald’s. Ever. Although she could remember enjoying it as a child, now she was an adult, she could afford to shun fast-food establishments and treat herself to something a little more edifying. So for Cat a meal at a Michelin-starred restaurant was something different and wonderful and she had felt sure that the children would quickly be impressed and won over. The trip to the National Gallery had been relatively successful and she decided that they all deserved a treat. Cat was no fool though. She had deliberately chosen a restaurant run by a female chef with children. She not only welcomed kids but had even designed a menu for them. It was where Cat sent all her celebrity mothers with their offspring.

  ‘Wow,’ was all Ellie would say as the maître d’ led them through the elegant dining room to their table.

  ‘Thank you, Philippe,’ said Cat with a smile as they took their places. The children looked bemused when he unfolded their napkins and placed them on their laps. Ellie beamed at Cat and she started to relax a little. Philippe brought the menus, a large one for Cat and two smaller ones for the children.

  ‘I sink you will be wanting ze brunch menu, Miss Nightingale?’ he asked.

  ‘That will be wonderful. Thank you.’ He retreated with a small bow and Cat turned to the children. ‘So they have macaroni cheese, burgers or fishcakes. What do you fancy?’

  Ellie was looking around in wonder and awe. ‘I feel like a princess,’ she breathed. ‘I like the way that man talks too. Can I have macaroni cheese, please?’

  Cat smiled. ‘Of course. Charlie? How about a burger?’

  ‘I want to go home,’ said Charlie, his face clouding over.

  Cat took a deep breath. ‘Come on, let’s have some lunch eh? Ellie is looking forward to it,’ she said with meaning.

  Charlie scowled at her but then caught sight of his sister’s hopeful face. ‘I’ll just have chips,’ he said.

  ‘All right,’ said Cat, deciding that it wasn’t worth a battle. ‘And what would you like to drink?’

  ‘Can I have a Coke, please?’ asked Ellie.

  Charlie gave her a disapproving look and was about to open his mouth when he thought better of it. ‘Coke for me too, please,’ he said giving his aunt a rare smile.

  Cat felt encouraged. She would win the children over in one single day and Andrew would have to eat his words. As she placed their order, she spotted Ava being led through the restaurant. She was with a companion whom Cat recognised as Caroline Henderson, a freelance PR consultant Cat had used for the odd campaign. Cat gave them a wave. Caroline looked embarrassed and whispered something to Ava before retreating towards the entrance. Ava made her way over to Cat’s table.

  ‘Darling,’ she said, kissing the air either side of Cat’s head. ‘How are you?’ She emphasised the question by glancing at the children and giving Cat a look of deep sympathy.

  ‘I’m fine. Really,’ said Cat with meaning. ‘What happened to Caroline?’

  ‘She had to pop to the little girl’s room. So!’ said Ava taking a step back.

  ‘I’m Ellie and this is Charlie,’ announced Ellie.

  Ava raised her eyebrows at the little girl. ‘Pleased to meet you, sugar-cheeks. I’m Ava.’

  ‘There’s a girl in my class called Ava,’ said Ellie with authority.

  ‘Is that so?’ said Ava, her mouth twitching into a smile.

  ‘It is so,’ replied Ellie. ‘But she’s mean and I don’t like her. She once poured yoghurt on my skirt.’

  ‘Well that is mean,’ said Ava. ‘You should do it back to her.’

  ‘Should I?’ asked Ellie with intense interest. ‘Won’t I get into trouble?’

  Ava leaned in to the little girl. ‘Not if no-one sees,’ she whispered.

  ‘Ava!’ called Caroline from the other side of the room. Cat looked towards her, ready to smile, but Caroline looked away.

  Ava saw the hurt on Cat’s face. She put a hand on her friend’s shoulder. ‘Don’t give it a thought, sweetie. Caroline’s a bitch,’ she said. ‘I’ll call you, okay?’ she added before going to join her companion.

  ‘I like her,’ said Ellie, watching Ava sashay through the restaurant.

  Cat took scant consolation from Ava’s kindness. Her comments about Caroline were true but it made Cat feel miserable that someone who would have talked to her the week before her fall from grace barely acknowledged her now. Her status had been downgraded from PR hotshot to child-caring rookie. It was not a post she relished and she felt distracted and ruffled as their food arrived. She picked at her salad and felt a growing sense of irritation as Charlie gave off an air of someone who didn’t want to be there or make any effort to enjoy her incredibly generous treat. He barely touched his triple-cooked chips. They were still there when Ellie’s chocolate fondant pudding arrived. She attacked it with gusto.

  ‘Eat up, Charlie,’ said Cat.

  ‘You eat up,’ he replied.

  ‘That’s a bit rude.’ Cat frowned. How dare he?

  Charlie scowled. ‘Erm, I don’t care?’

  ‘Charlie, don’t,’ said Ellie looking worried.

  Charlie stood up. ‘I’m going to the toilet,’ he said.

  ‘You can’t go on your own,’ said Cat.

  ‘Why not?’

  ‘Because you’re a child and – ’

  ‘Because I might run off again? What do you care?’ cried Charlie angrily. A couple of diners looked round. Cat noticed Caroline glance over and shake her head.

  ‘Stop it, Charlie, you’re embarrassing me,’ said Cat quietly.

  This was the wrong thing to say. Charlie jumped up on his chair. ‘Oh, I’m embarrassing you, am I? Well I’m so sorry that I’m embarrassing Auntie Cat in front of her stupid posh friends.’

  ‘Get down, Charlie,’ she snapped.

  ‘Make me,’ said Charlie. He put a foot up on the table. Cat could see Philippe approaching. She closed her eyes for a second. This could not be happening.

  ‘I feel sick,’ said Ellie.

  Cat opened her eyes and the first thing she saw was Ellie’s face, which had turned a peculiar shade of bluey green. The next thing she noticed was Philippe standing between her and Ellie as the small girl turned and vomited all over his pristine maître d’s jacket.

  The rest of the afternoon was a blur – a miserable blur. Philippe was kind and understanding as it was his job to be. They were politely ushered to his office so they could clean up.

  No, Miss Nightingale must think nothing of it. It happens all the time. I have a spare jacket just for occasions like this. Do not give it a second thought.

  But Cat knew. She saw the looks and stares as they trooped out of the restaurant, the disgusted faces and judging glances. She also noticed Ava and Caroline and the way they completely ignored the whole drama. She felt numb as she led the children back to the train station. No-one spoke as they travelled home. She let them into the house and was greeted by Andrew’s cheery face.

 
‘I managed to finish early so I thought I would come home and see how you all were.’ His smile faded as he spotted their faces. ‘What happened?’

  Andrew took immediate charge as the story unfolded. Cat marvelled at how efficiently he herded Ellie into the bath and then tucked her up in bed. He sent Charlie to his room, gave him a severe telling-off, and Cat didn’t see him for the rest of the day. She made herself a cup of tea and went into the living room feeling shaken and drained. When Andrew appeared a while later, he brought in the biscuit tin. He offered it to her.

  ‘Custard cream for your troubles?’

  ‘It’s not bloody funny,’ she said.

  He gave a small smirk. ‘I know and I am sorry. I know you tried your best.’

  ‘But?’

  He sighed. ‘You don’t have to be super-auntie and give them a million treats. Sometimes all they want to do is go to the park and feed the ducks.’

  ‘I thought they would enjoy it.’

  ‘They did. Sort of.’ She frowned at him and he put his arm around her. ‘Ellie really enjoyed the National Gallery. She said you showed them a Christmas picture and a painting of some dead flowers.’

  Cat gave a reluctant laugh. ‘And what about Charlie?’

  Andrew shrugged. ‘He is sorry. I think he’s struggling with Mel being away. I will get him to apologise.’

  ‘Hmm,’ replied Cat.

  ‘He admitted that he should have told you not to let Ellie have a Coke.’

  Cat sighed. ‘I thought he was being too nice to me at that point.’

  ‘I’m sorry. That was partly my fault. You sort of assume people know this stuff but why would you?’

  ‘Well when you say it like that,’ said Cat a little hurt.

  ‘Sorry,’ said Andrew. ‘I don’t mean to preach. You’re doing me a huge favour and I really appreciate it. It’s just that kids aren’t really bothered about grand gestures. The best thing you can give a child is your time.’

  ‘Not an Xbox then?’

  Andrew laughed. ‘Not even that.’ He stared at his sister for a moment as if he were choosing his words carefully. ‘Don’t take this the wrong way but I’ve sorted out an activity for you for tomorrow.’

  ‘Oh yes?’

  ‘Ye-es. You’re meeting up with some people at the park.’

  ‘Oh right,’ said Cat, not used to having her life organised for her.

  ‘Honestly, it will be fine. I promise. You’ll have a good time. It’s just a picnic in the park but it will mean that you don’t have to do all the running. I know it can get a bit intense if you’re on your own with the kids. Even I find that and I’m their father.’

  Cat shrugged. ‘Fine,’ she said taking a biscuit. ‘But you’re making the picnic.’ That night, despite her exhaustion, Cat couldn’t sleep. She lay in bed feeling irritated by the day’s events; it wasn’t so much Charlie’s behaviour and Ellie’s vomiting drama that was bothering her, it was the looks she’d received from Caroline Henderson and the feeling that she had been shut out of the world she loved. She felt in limbo at the moment – her life hovering just beyond her control – but she told herself that as soon as Melissa was back, she would skip back to her old world without a backward glance. She was certain of this. It was another hour before she fell asleep.

  Chapter Five

  It was a perfect summer’s day; the temperature warm without being too hot, the sky a pleasing shade of blue with the odd wisp of cloud floating by. It was glorious. They were due at the park at eleven and, true to his word, Andrew had packed a picnic, read Charlie the riot act and left Cat directions so that there could be no hiccups.

  Cat tried to ignore the way Ellie clung on to her father’s leg as he made his way to the door.

  ‘Have fun!’ he cried with only the merest hint of irony. Cat’s heart sank as she heard the door shut behind him. She poured herself another coffee and padded into the living room. Ellie was sitting on a beanbag, chewing a piece of dry toast and watching Tom and Jerry. She still looked a little pale but had thankfully lost the greenish hue of yesterday. She glanced up at her aunt and then back at the screen.

  ‘Do you want to watch with me?’ she asked.

  Cat remembered Andrew’s comment about giving children time. ‘Okay,’ she said, sitting on the sofa, wondering how much she would need to contribute. Ellie’s eyes didn’t leave the screen so Cat took out her phone, longing for a moment’s connection with the outside world. She didn’t get very far.

  ‘You have to watch,’ said Ellie. ‘This one is really funny.’

  Sighing, Cat put down her phone and glanced at the screen. Tom was wearing a concert pianist’s outfit, his face composed and serious as he played a sombre piece of music. It wasn’t long before Jerry made an appearance.

  ‘Look!’ cried Ellie. ‘He’s sleeping in the piano.’

  As Cat watched, she began to feel a disconcerting sense of déjà vu. Her mind was transported back to when she was around eight and Andrew was four. They were sitting on a battered velvet sofa, two beakers of orange squash and a plate of digestives in front of them. A beautiful woman was perched on the arm of the sofa holding a cup and saucer containing her afternoon tea. Cat wanted to shake off the memory but she couldn’t take her eyes from the screen.

  ‘I love this one,’ said Ellie happily.

  ‘Me too,’ whispered Cat.

  Ellie looked over at her, oblivious to the emotion it had stirred up in her aunt. ‘Are we going for a picnic with Daisy today then?’

  Cat suddenly realised that, despite her brother’s preparations, he hadn’t actually told her who they were meeting. ‘Er yes, I think so.’ Grateful for the distraction from her memories, she hurriedly texted Andrew. The reply came straight back.

  ‘Claire, Izzy, James, Finn and Daisy. Said you’d meet by the café at eleven.’

  Heavens, thought Cat. If anyone’s going to know how to deal with kids, it will be a woman with four children. She carried her coffee mug to the kitchen and went upstairs to get dressed. Charlie’s bedroom door was half open so Cat took a deep breath and tapped gently before going in. They hadn’t spoken since yesterday’s events. Charlie was hunched over his desk and as Cat approached she noticed that he was drawing a picture of the Sunflowers they had seen yesterday.

  ‘That’s really good, Charlie,’ she said, moving forwards to stand beside him. As he jumped in shock, she realised that he had been listening to music and hadn’t heard her come in. He scowled at her and tried to cover his work.

  She held up her hands in apology. ‘Sorry. I didn’t mean to creep up on you like that. I just wanted to say that we’re leaving in half an hour.’

  His scowl loosened but only a little. ‘Are we meeting up with James and that lot?’

  Cat nodded. ‘I like your picture, by the way,’ she said. He regarded her for a moment as if trying to work out if she meant it. She smiled. ‘Really,’ she said.

  ‘Thank you,’ he muttered. She turned towards the door. ‘Sorry about yesterday,’ he said quietly.

  She looked back at him. The troublesome child of yesterday had been replaced by a little boy who looked much younger and more vulnerable than his ten years. ‘It’s okay. Let’s put it behind us and enjoy today, okay?’ He nodded. ‘Half an hour,’ she repeated as she walked out of the room.

  The park was a teeming mass of overexcited small children and harassed adults. Cat could vaguely remember coming to this park on one awkward weekend trip to see Andrew and Melissa shortly after Charlie was born. She had come out of duty and recalled her brother being so tired he could barely speak and Melissa fussing around the overdressed, fractious baby. Cat had made the mistake of suggesting that he was perhaps upset because he was too hot and had received a withering glance from her sister-in-law in reply. Heaven only knew what Mel thought of this current arrangement.

  They made their way along the path towards the café, a dark wooden building with a playground attached. Cat could smell the toilets before she reached them and p
rayed that neither child would need to go, although given Ellie’s recent record, she knew this was probably unlikely. Cat let the children lead her into the café area. There were around half a dozen picnic benches set out with brightly coloured umbrellas offering some shade against the already fierce sun.

  ‘There’s James,’ said Charlie, leading them to the bench nearest the playground gate where a woman was basking in the sun whilst a blond boy of around Charlie’s age sat with a football at his feet. He immediately brightened when he saw his friend.

  ‘Hey, Charlie. Hey, Ellie,’ he said.

  The woman opened her eyes and lifted her sunglasses to peer up at them. She jumped up when she saw Cat. ‘Oh hi! You must be Cat. Lovely to meet you,’ she said holding out her hand. ‘I’m Claire.’

  Cat smiled and shook her hand. The woman was small and casually dressed in cut-off jeans and a slouchy T-shirt bearing the words ‘I love happy endings’. She wore her brown hair in a loose bun and her skin was freckled from time spent in the sun. She had a friendly warmth about her that Cat liked immediately. ‘Where’s Izzy?’ asked Ellie, standing close to Claire.

  ‘Oh hey, Ellie-wellie.’ Claire smiled, wrapping an arm around the small girl and tickling her. Cat noticed the easy affection between them and was surprised to feel a little envious. ‘She’s over on the climbing frame. Do you want to go and find her?’ Ellie nodded and ran off. ‘But stay where we can see you,’ called Claire. She turned back to Cat. ‘Can I get you a coffee? It’s actually okay despite being made by a machine.’

  Cat was more used to single-estate freshly roasted coffee but felt she should be sociable. ‘That would be lovely, thank you.’ She smiled.

  ‘Will you stay here with the bags while I go and get them?’

  ‘Sure.’ Cat felt the sun on her face and had to admit that today could turn out fine. Claire seemed lovely and the children were happy with their friends. She took out her phone to check her e-mails. She had sent a message to Jesse earlier about meeting up to discuss their plans. No reply as yet but if she knew Jesse, he probably wouldn’t get to his e-mails before lunchtime. She was just checking Twitter when Claire returned with their drinks.