by Annie Lyons
‘Good morning.’ She smiled. ‘I brought you a welcome-back flat white.’
‘Thank you,’ said Cat. ‘That’s very kind.’
Nancy nodded and placed the coffee on her desk. ‘So, let me know when you want to catch up. I sort of babysat Caroline so can get you up to speed on most campaigns.’
‘That’s great. Thanks, Nancy. I hear that Caroline didn’t quite live up to expectations,’ she said, raising an eyebrow.
Nancy laughed at her boss’s candour. ‘I couldn’t possibly comment but anyway, give me a shout when you want to talk.’
‘Sure, thanks.’ Nancy made for the door. ‘And how is Ruby?’
Nancy’s eyes widened with surprise as she turned round. ‘Erm, she’s really well, thanks.’
‘How old is she now?’
‘Nine months,’ said Nancy, a flicker of confusion crossing her face as if this might be a trick question.
‘Wow, that’s gone by quickly,’ said Cat. ‘My brother’s kids are ten and six and quite a handful.’
‘I’ll bet,’ replied Nancy. ‘Did you have a good summer?’ she asked, emboldened by Cat’s newfound interest in motherhood.
‘Actually, it was great.’ Cat smiled. ‘Something of an eye-opener.’ Her phone buzzed with a call. It was Ava. ‘I’m sorry, Nancy, but I need to get this. How about we catch up properly over lunch? My treat as a thank you for holding the fort.’
Nancy looked as if she might collapse in shock. She managed to reply, ‘Lovely. Thank you.’
Cat nodded and smiled as Nancy left. She answered her phone. ‘Ava.’
‘The prodigal daughter returns! So glad to have you back in the game, sweet-cheeks.’
‘Thank you.’ Cat smiled.
‘So, did you enjoy the rest of the holiday?’ asked Ava suggestively.
‘Yes thank you,’ replied Cat poker-faced.
‘And did you enjoy any-one?’
Cat laughed. ‘Now that would be telling.’
‘Oh my sweet Lord, you slept with that guy.’
‘That is purely conjecture on your part.’
‘I tell you what, honey, if you were famous, you would be my front-page news.’
‘You say the sweetest things.’
‘Okay, well clearly I need the details ASAP. How about drinks this Wednesday? I’m supposed to be having sex with Sergio but I’d make an exception for you.’
‘I’m touched but Jesse’s taking me to the Chiltern Firehouse.’
‘Ooh he is feeling guilty. Make him pay.’
‘I intend to by having three courses and champagne.’
‘Good for you.’
‘Thanks for setting him straight.’
Ava sighed. ‘I may be a cold-hearted bitch of a journalist but I know who my friends are.’
‘Well you’re definitely one of mine.’
‘Okay well this is getting a bit Disney for my tastes so let’s just say we’ll do brunch on Saturday, usual place?’
‘Perfect.’
‘Missing you already.’
There was something too easy about the way Cat slipped back into the PR world. It was all so familiar and comfortable but as she caught up with campaigns and clients, and was welcomed back into the fold by the PR Twitterati, she felt an underlying sense of uncertainty. It was as if she’d rediscovered her favourite vintage von Furstenberg dress in the back of the wardrobe and realised that it didn’t really suit her any more. In fact, she wasn’t sure if it had ever suited her at all.
She enjoyed catching up with Nancy over lunch but found that the conversation turned quickly from work to children.
‘So would you like to have any more kids?’ asked Cat. Nancy looked unsure and Cat realised that she had crossed an employer-employee line. ‘It’s okay,’ she reassured. ‘I won’t tell HR.’
Nancy laughed. ‘Well then yes, I suppose we would, probably in the next couple of years.’ She stole a glance at Cat. ‘Do you miss them? The kids, I mean. I get the feeling that you enjoyed being with them more than you anticipated.’
Cat smiled. ‘I remember why I hired you. Your intuition is exceptional.’ She sighed. ‘Actually, I do miss them. It made me look at life differently, see outside all of this,’ she said, gesturing around the room at the power-suited, business-focused fellow diners.
Nancy nodded. ‘Children do that. You’re no longer the picture. You become the frame.’
Cat grinned. ‘Yes, that’s it. I like that. So anyway, I had something I wanted to say to you. It’s important.’ Nancy sat up in her chair and stared at Cat. ‘You are an incredibly talented PR Manager and I know that sometimes it’s been a struggle fitting in things with Ruby.’ Nancy’s brow furrowed slightly, fearful of what was coming. ‘So I want you to know that I will do all I can to be flexible and help you out if possible. I know how hard you work and how exhausting it must be so let’s keep talking and work things out between us.’
Relief and shock flooded Nancy’s face. ‘Wow, I wasn’t expecting that.’
Cat smiled. ‘I surprise myself these days.’
‘Thank you,’ said Nancy. ‘That means a lot to me.’
Cat gave her a knowing look. ‘We all need to give ourselves a break sometimes.’
The south-east London pub wasn’t exactly what Cat had been expecting and she stared up at the cracked paint and tatty façade, wondering for a moment if she’d got the right venue. The inside wasn’t much better. A large circular bar sat in the middle of the room with a handful of punters dotted on bar stools, nursing their pints in melancholy silence. She looked around the gigantic space with enough tables and chairs to seat a small army and spotted Finn setting up his equipment in a dark corner. She also noticed that Angelica, the girl from the outdoor music gig, was sitting at a table nearby, drinking a bottle of beer and staring up at him, like an obedient puppy. She was wearing a short fur coat, her long legs bare and tanned. As Cat approached, Angelica looked up at her with a scowl.
‘Hey, Cat.’ Finn smiled, reaching over his guitar to kiss her. Angelica continued to stare and scowl. ‘Sorry,’ he whispered. ‘I didn’t know she was coming.’
‘It’s okay,’ said Cat. ‘Don’t take this the wrong way but to be honest, I think you need all the spectators you can get.’
Finn laughed. ‘It’s all good. I know the landlord, Terry. I offered to do it for free. I wanted to try out some new material and it’s always quiet on a Monday.’
Cat nodded. ‘Would you like a drink?’ She glanced over at Angelica, extending the invitation like a peace offering.
‘Going out for a smoke,’ said Angelica, avoiding Cat’s eyes and sloping off towards the door.
‘Wow, she really hates me, doesn’t she?’ observed Cat.
Finn looked sheepish. ‘She’s only just found out about us. I think it came as a bit of a shock. So, how was your first day back at work?’
‘Fine, thanks. Shall I get you a drink then?’ Cat didn’t want to talk about work. She was still trying to figure out how she felt about it all. She wasn’t ready to share, not even with Finn.
He regarded her for a moment and was about to open his mouth when a voice interrupted their conversation. ‘Oi Finn, play us a tune will yer? It’s like a morgue in ’ere.’
Finn smiled and held up his hand in acknowledgement towards the round, red-faced man standing behind the bar. ‘Will do, Terry. Any requests?’
‘You know me, Finn – anything by the King and I’m a happy man.’
Finn nodded and started to strum some chords. ‘I better do as the boss says but I’ll have a pint of lager if the offer’s still open, please.’
‘It is. I’ll sit over there and pretend to be a crowd of a hundred people. Good luck or break a leg or whatever you’re supposed to say.’ She smiled. Cat made her way to the bar. A bored-looking barmaid was polishing glasses and staring off into the middle distance. Cat gave a small cough but the woman didn’t react. Terry bustled over, his round belly extending over his trousers like large footbal
l.
‘Sandra, any chance you can serve the customers instead of polishing them glasses to death?’ he snapped on his way past. ‘Yes, love?’ he asked, arriving in front of Cat slightly out of breath.
‘A G&T and a pint of lager, please.’ Cat smiled.
Terry nodded, plucking a pint glass from the shelf above his head and approaching the pumps. Finn had started to play ‘You Were Always on My Mind’, his voice drifting over the pub, lilting and cool.
‘That’s the stuff,’ murmured Terry. He placed the pint in front of Cat and set about making her drink. ‘So you must be Finn’s new squeeze.’ He grinned, opening a bottle of tonic and tipping it over the gin.
Cat nodded. ‘You know Finn well then?’
‘He’s like a son to me, that boy,’ declared Terry. ‘Kindest man I ever met. Would do anything for anyone. And what a voice.’ Cat smiled. He was right. Finn had a beautiful voice. She knew she was listening to an Elvis song but Finn made it his own. ‘I’m just sorry there aren’t more punters to hear him,’ added Terry, gesturing around the pub. ‘But at least we’re here, eh pet?’ Further along the bar a man was waving a tenner at Terry. ‘On the house,’ said Terry, pointing at Cat’s drinks before walking over to the man. ‘Yes, Del?’
‘Thank you,’ said Cat as he disappeared. She chose a table in one corner just over from where Finn was playing. She didn’t want to sit right in front of him like a groupie and she wanted to avoid Angelica as well. Finn looked over and winked at her as he finished his first song. She held up his pint and he reached over to take it from her. He took a sip and then addressed the pub.
‘Good evening, south-east London!’ he cried.
‘Wa-hay!’ cried Terry, giving him a cheery thumbs up.
‘So, I’m Finn Thomas and I’m going to be playing a mix of covers and some of my new stuff. I hope you enjoy it. Thanks for listening.’ The next song he played was ‘The Only Living Boy in New York’ by Simon and Garfunkel. Cat hadn’t heard it for years and felt her body relax with enjoyment before she became aware of someone standing next to her. She looked up into Angelica’s frowning face.
‘May I?’ asked the girl, gesturing at an empty chair.
‘Be my guest,’ said Cat. She wasn’t going to be rude but she wasn’t going to make an effort to engage with this surly woman either.
‘So,’ began Angelica. ‘You and Finn.’
‘What about us?’ asked Cat.
‘Just that I hope you know how lucky you are.’
Cat stared at her. ‘I do, thank you.’
‘Good, because he’s really into you,’ declared Angelica, gazing over at Finn.
‘Oh. Right.’
‘He never looked at me the way he looks at you,’ she sighed. Cat had expected a fight but realised that she was starting to feel sympathy for this girl.
‘I don’t know what to say.’
Angelica looked at Cat with sadness in her eyes. ‘Just look after him, okay?’ she said before standing up and making for the door without a backward glance.
Finn seemed unaware of Cat’s conversation as he finished the song and gave her a warm smile. Angelica was right. He did have a certain way of looking at Cat – as if he were seeing her and only her. She gave him an encouraging grin. He cleared his throat and turned back to the microphone. ‘So I said I’d do some of my new stuff and this one is about someone very special.’ Cat felt her face grow hot as dread made her stomach dip. ‘It’s called “The Littlest Things”.’ Finn didn’t look at her as he began to sing. Cat closed her eyes sensing what was coming. Finn was as accomplished a lyricist as he was musician. Anyone else listening would hear a love song, written from the heart, touching and beautiful.
For Cat, it was as if someone had paraded her naked in public; every word and phrase was about her – about her and Finn and the intimate, special moments they had shared. Her happy mood was washed away as feelings of anger and betrayal swept through her body. She glared over at Finn but he was lost in the music, his eyes closed as he told a story about the woman he loved. Cat was shaking now. She noticed Terry wave and wink at her from behind the bar and the way the other pub-goers were swaying in time to the music. She felt as if everyone knew her business, as if Cat Nightingale and her secrets were being laid bare for all to see. She couldn’t listen to another chord. She snatched up her bag and rushed out of the door, running back to the life where she felt safe, where feelings could be tucked away and love was off the agenda.
Chapter Twenty-Two
The Chiltern Firehouse was the hippest eatery in London. When it opened the year before, the critics had gushed and the coolest celebrities had flocked. It was nigh-on impossible to get a table unless you knew the right people. Jesse Hemingway knew all the right people, even the top-hatted doorman who greeted him and Cat as they were welcomed through the door and ushered past various dining celebrities to a cosy table for two.
‘Thank you, Nigel.’ Jesse smiled, pressing a note into the man’s hand.
‘Pleasure, Mr Hemingway,’ replied the man, tapping the brim of his hat. ‘Enjoy your evening. Madam,’ he added, nodding at Cat.
Jesse ordered champagne and when it was poured he held up his glass to her. ‘To Cat Nightingale being back where she should be.’
Cat smiled and clinked her glass against his. She looked around the room. It was sumptuously elegant – the height of sophistication, a place where celebrities could be themselves away from the pressures of stardom. She spotted a Hollywood starlet surrounded by her entourage; the girl was staring off into the distance and looked lonely somehow. Cat transferred her attention to another table where a well-known celebrity couple were sitting in silence, both staring down at their phones, no doubt tweeting about how good the seared cuttlefish was. She found herself wondering what Ellie would make of all this. She probably would have charged up to the pop star, flung her arms around her neck and asked why she was so sad, or told the couple to put down their phones and talk to each other.
‘Happy?’ asked Jesse.
Cat gave him her best PR smile. ‘Absolutely. It’s gorgeous.’ It was gorgeous too. The food was sublime. Sweet red shrimp and Welsh lamb that melted in the mouth all washed down with the best wine. They chatted about work to begin with but every now and then Cat caught Jesse staring at her. As soon as she looked at him, he would smile and take a sip of wine or return to his food.
After they had finished their main courses, he turned to her. ‘So, you haven’t told me. How nightmarish was it playing happy families with your brother’s kids?’
Cat smiled. ‘Actually it turned out to be pretty fun in the end.’
Jesse gave an incredulous laugh. ‘Oh heavens, don’t tell me you’re going to make me open up a crèche on site.’
‘Would that be such a bad thing?’
‘You’re kidding, right?’
Cat shrugged. ‘I don’t think we make it very easy for working parents sometimes.’
Jesse waved a hand in front of her face. ‘Er hello? Are you sure this is the real Cat Nightingale?’
‘I’ve just had the opportunity to see things from the other side of the fence. That’s all. I happen to like being an auntie.’
Jesse giggled. ‘Auntie Cat. That could be your new nickname.’
Cat frowned. She knew Jesse didn’t take life seriously but she’d always thought he took her seriously. ‘It’s good to see beyond yourself from time to time.’
Jesse adopted a mock-serious face. ‘You’re right. And I’m sorry. So where did you go?’
‘To Suffolk on holiday. It was a real old-fashioned beach holiday. It was – well, it was lovely.’
‘Lovely? Are you sure? Being shacked up with two small kids in chilly old Blighty. Brrr. Rather you than me.’
Cat knew Jesse wasn’t interested in children - she knew that he preferred five-star resorts and first-class travel, frankly who didn’t, but he was also her friend and she felt a growing irritation as he dismissed her with casual indifference. �
�It made me see life differently,’ she muttered.
‘I bet it did. Changing nappies and endless tantrums are always going to give you a different perspective,’ he grinned.
Cat could have told him that Ellie and Charlie were six and ten and that therefore nappies were now surplus to requirements but she knew it was pointless. He wasn’t interested and if she was honest, Cat had to concede that she’d felt the same two months ago. ‘So, how are you? How’s Alex? Did you sort things out?’ she asked.
Jesse turned to her, his gaze intense and unflinching. ‘Actually, that’s part of the reason I’ve asked you here tonight.’
‘Oh yes?’
He took another sip of his wine. ‘Dutch courage.’ He grinned and Cat realised that he was nervous. He reached forward and took her hand. She stared at him in astonishment. ‘The thing is,’ he began, ‘I’ve been doing some serious thinking since you went away.’
‘Jesse – ’
‘Cat, please. I need to tell you this. It’s important.’ She nodded for him to continue. He took a deep breath. ‘Alex and I are finished.’
Cat was stunned. ‘I’m so sorry, Jesse. What happened?’
He shrugged. ‘We want different things. It was probably a mistake from the start but you know how it is.’
‘It must be a bind having a supermodel fall for you,’ teased Cat.
Jesse didn’t laugh. ‘It’s been a nightmare, Cat – the accusations, the scream-fests and then the silence. Actually the silence was the worst. All because she wanted a baby.’
‘It’s a big thing for a woman, Jesse – the biggest decision you ever make.’
‘I thought you were on my side,’ he said, only half-joking.
‘I am,’ said Cat, squeezing his hand. ‘Sorry. You were saying?’
His face relaxed. ‘It’s made me realise what I need and what’s important and that often the thing you need most is right in front of you.’ Cat experienced a tingling sensation as he stared into her eyes. ‘It’s you, Cat. It’s always been you and I’ve been an idiot not to see it.’