“Harley cares about Kelsey a great deal,” Kenny’s voice agreed on the video.
“Yes, she does,” Regina acknowledged, “enough so that she asked me if she could be a donor for Kelsey. She can’t possibly know what those simple words mean to a family that is always searching for hope. To know that there are people in this world who would be willing to make that sacrifice—well, it’s touching.”
“Indeed, it is,” Denton agreed, back at the studio. “If any of you are interested in helping the Andrews family, a link has been set up on our website to the fund for Kelsey’s medical expenses. An interesting day for our own Harley Laine…talking about her harrowing explosion experience, covering pension talks with the governor, and offering a gift of life to someone in need. Louisville’s sweetheart, indeed.”
Clicking the video off and dropping her phone to her lap, Harley stared down at her fingers. Hearing it again didn’t soften her feelings. The entire thing still made her feel dirty and selfish.
“Sweetie, it’s not that bad,” Duke muttered, sensing her hesitance.
“It is, though, don’t you get it?” she asked with a sniffle, suddenly fighting tears. “I care a great deal about Kelsey, and I do want to help her, but for her sake, not for mine. Today I got a taste of the Harley Laine Show, and it made me sick to my stomach.” Wiping a tear away with the back of her hand, she turned to face her friend. “The whole thing is so very opportunistic, Duke. I tried to talk Mitch into letting me rework the story, after they added that bit on the end. You know what he said? He needed to ‘capitalize on my spotlight.’ It’s sick.”
“Harley,” he answered, placing his arm around her and pulling her against his side. “Little lady, God sees your heart. He’s not judging you because of what this Mitch chose to do with the story. And you can see on that video there that Ryan’s mama is right proud of you.”
“Yes, I can see it, and I don’t want anyone to be proud of me. Least of all any of them.”
“Well, I think you’ll find we’re a bit stubborn and don’t take kindly to being told what to do,” a voice to her right stated. As she glanced up, she saw Ryan kneeling beside her at the bench. “Please forgive me. My head’s not in the right place right now, but that’s no excuse. I’m sorry, Harley.”
“No, I’m sorry.” She slowly rose to her feet while he did the same, and his hand slid around her waist beneath her coat, drawing her closer. Allowing his warmth to envelope her, she dared to look up into his eyes.
“You would really do that for Kelsey?” he asked, face expressionless. “I mean, you have pretty much zero chance of being a match, but you actually asked my mom about that?”
She didn’t answer as she focused on the deep blue of his eyes, noting the dark flecks that rested within and wishing she could immerse herself in them.
“You’re not allowed to be sad,” he continued. “You’re the one who draws me out of myself, remember? Now you’re dragging yourself right into the mess.”
“Ryan…” she whispered, blood heating in her veins as his warm lips touched the skin of her temple right next to her eye, sending a wave of longing over her. She realized in that moment that she had never cared for any man the way she felt about Ryan, and the thought scared her more than she wanted to admit.
“I have to go back inside,” he murmured, moving his lips to the swell of her cheek just below her eye. She instinctively tilted her head up, expecting the trail of his kisses to find its way to her mouth. The thought caused her to shiver.
“Do you want to wait for me?” He pulled away and reached for her hand. She bit her lip as she glanced at his mouth, wondering what his kiss would taste like.
With a slight chuckle, he took a step back. “You seem distracted and tired. Why don’t you turn in early? I won’t call you and wake you up, okay?”
He’s not going to kiss me.
A heavy sigh escaped her lips involuntarily, and he stopped cold. “Please tell me I didn’t completely screw things up, Harley. I know I’m stubborn as all get out sometimes.”
Stepping toward him, she lifted her hand to his face and gently traced her finger down the strip of hair beneath his lip, reaching the bottom of his chin right as his hand clasped hers and a huge smile spread across his face.
“Duke, brother, can I get you some more chocolate when I go inside?” Even though Ryan was clearly not addressing her, his eyes never left hers.
Stumbling backward, she instinctively lifted a hand and placed it against her heart. She had completely forgotten that Duke was sitting there with them. The memory of her desire to kiss Ryan flew into her mind again, and she felt her face heating up at the thought of sharing such an intimate first moment in front of the grizzly old biker.
“I’m good,” Duke answered simply. “Anyway, I think you’ve got your hands full.”
“Yeah,” Ryan agreed, taking both of her hands in his. “I have a completely booked workday tomorrow, but if I happened to pop up at Duke’s church Sunday, would you be opposed to that?”
“Completely,” she murmured, regaining some of her composure. “Why would you want to spend your day off hanging out with Duke?”
“I only have a few hours Sunday, actually.”
“Even worse.”
“I so can’t tell where I stand with you,” he whispered, shaking his head.
“About eighteen inches away,” she stated, raising her eyebrows. Leaning toward him, she placed her face beside his and rested her mouth by his ear. “Just for the record, you could stand a lot closer. A lot. I completely forgot Duke was here.” Stepping back, she watched the heavy rise and fall of his chest and hoped she was causing that reaction. With a smile, she turned and pulled out her car keys.
“You don’t play fair!” he called after her.
“Good night, Duke. ‘Night, Ryan.”
“Forget what I said before. I’m definitely calling you tonight, baby!” Ryan yelled as she rounded the corner.
For a few seconds, she thought about giving him a witty response. In the end, she decided against it, just so the sound of him calling her baby would be the last thing ringing through her ears.
C hapter Seventeen
Ryan nearly jumped out of his skin when he turned on the light in the kitchen and saw his mother sitting at the table. Placing a hand over his chest, he leaned against the wall and let out a shaky breath.
“Something wrong?” he asked quietly. “You haven’t waited up for me since I was a teenager.”
“No, honey, nothing’s wrong. I just wanted to catch you before you went to bed.”
He reached for a wooden chair and cringed at the scraping sound it made when he pulled it across the floor, glancing down the hall at where Kelsey was sleeping. As he lowered himself to the seat, the pace at which he had been pushing himself seemed to catch up, and exhaustion overwhelmed him. Slouching slightly, he rested his head on the back of the chair as he glanced at his mother.
“How’s Kelsey?” he wanted to know, blinking his eyes and then pulling them open again with some effort.
“She’s okay. It was a pretty full and exciting day for her, so she went to bed early.” She paused as she tapped her fingernails gently on the table, staring at her son. “You seem worn out.”
Letting out a quick rush of breath, he nodded his head. “It’s my own fault. Sometimes I just can’t help but be an idiot.”
“This is about Harley?” Regina guessed.
“Why Harley, Mom? And why now, of all times?”
“Why not Harley?” she questioned him. “Why shouldn’t it be Harley?”
“A host of reasons. Number one, she’s too good for me. And before you begin telling me how special I am or any of that, it’s not me saying that. Harley thinks she’s too good for me. She basically told me that the first time I met her, and while I think she’s softened on it a bit, that’s only because we’ve never been in public together. I can’t fit in with her crowd, and I’m not really sure I want to, to be honest.”
“She’s a lovely girl.”
“Yeah, she’s lovely,” Ryan agreed with a sharp laugh. “Watch her on the news, Mom. That Denton is constantly flirting with her, and she’s schmoozing with the politicians… The night I met her she had just been on a date with one, in fact.”
“But has she been dating anyone lately?” Regina pried. “Sweetie, I’m not trying to pressure you into anything, but she seems to like you, and I can see how you feel about her.”
“How I feel about her is the other side of the problem. I don’t have the time or the energy to nurse a broken heart right now. When I look at Harley, I see a broken heart coming my way.”
“You can’t possibly know that, Ryan. God knows what we’re going through, and I can’t believe He would have sent Harley into the midst of everything simply to break your heart.”
Without replying, Ryan placed both his elbows on the table and clasped his hands together.
“Kelsey said you call her every night,” Regina pressed, causing Ryan’s eyes to widen.
“How would she know that?”
“She says she can hear you through the wall.”
Clearing his throat, Ryan shook his head. “That’s pretty humiliating.” Glancing at his hands, he took a second to ponder his words. “The truth is, I do really like her. I like the way I feel when I’m with her, like I’m slightly on edge and this excitement is always there building under the surface. But I really don’t think either one of us is capable of having any sort of relationship right now.”
Regina drew her eyebrows together, and Ryan sighed as he leaned back against the chair again.
“Tonight, we were talking at Tiny’s,” he began, staring at the wall across the room. “I was just kind of thinking out loud, and I happened to say that I couldn’t tell where I stood with her. She was very literal about it, and said I was about eighteen inches away.” Regina laughed, and Ryan paused a second to smile to himself. “After she left, though, I realized that was the real problem. She holds me at arm’s length, and I do the same to her. Neither one of us wants to let the other too close.”
“Have you talked to her about it?”
Rising to his feet, Ryan picked the chair up instead of scooting it across the floor. “No, and I can’t. Not right now. Go to sleep, okay? You need your rest, and so do I.”
Her breath came out in a puff of frost as Harley knocked on the door of Annie’s apartment, hugging her coat around her body. She had gone to sleep excited about the prospect of going to church with Annie, mainly due to the possibility of being close to Ryan, but she was decidedly less enthusiastic at the moment. Her phone had buzzed at five o’clock in the morning with a simple text message from Ryan:
Work stuff came up. Sorry. Rain check.
If the text had come from any other man, Harley might have taken the news with a grain of salt. With Ryan, though, rain check didn’t mean I’ll see you in a couple days. Rain check meant I might see you in a month, if you’re lucky. She wasn’t feeling especially lucky.
She allowed her disgust to show on her face as she thought about Ryan, and to her detriment, Annie chose that precise moment to open the door.
“Wow, are you that thrilled about going with me? Because I’ve got to tell you, I’d rather go alone.” Annie allowed a hint of a smile to spread across her features, and Harley laughed a bit halfheartedly.
“Sorry, I was just thinking on my face, I guess.”
Annie’s hair was still a shade of violet, but it was back to its curly former glory. She stepped aside as Harley entered her apartment, closing the door behind her.
“I’m guessing you’re doing some heavy thinking to have a facial expression like that one,” Annie said without hesitation. “What gives?”
Dropping herself on Annie’s couch, Harley plopped back like she owned the place, draping her skinny jeans-clad legs and her knee-high boots over the arm of the couch.
“Ryan was going to meet us at church today, and he backed out,” she admitted reluctantly. “I’m pretty sure he’s angry with me. I insulted his manhood, he thinks.”
“Whoa, girl, that sounds like a juicy story.” Sitting across from Harley on an ottoman, Annie pressed her elbows against her knees and wrapped her hands around her chin. “Spill.”
“You saw all the stories about Kelsey on the news Friday?” Harley attempted to verify, to which Annie nodded. “The studio set up that fund for Kelsey, and suffice it to say that Ryan wasn’t too pleased about it. He told me he wasn’t a charity case.”
“Yikes.”
“He is just so exasperating! He practically went off on me about the bank thing Friday night, and then he came outside acting like he wanted to kiss me or something. Of course he didn’t kiss me, just made me insane, and then told me he would call me that night and even yelled ‘baby’ at me as I walked away.”
Annie attempted to hide her giggles behind her hand, but Harley gave her a silencing glare.
“Of course it sounds funny to you,” Harley continued unabatedly. “He didn’t call me, in case you were wondering. I barely slept at all because I kept checking the phone, but nothing. He called me last night and pretended that nothing happened, and then suddenly this morning something came up. Rain check.”
“The nerve.”
“It’s not funny,” Harley insisted as she set her animated eyes on her friend. “How would you like it if some guy treated you that way?”
“Well,” Annie stated, sitting up a bit straighter, “first of all, I would have just kissed him myself, if I wanted to that badly. And second, if he blew me off like that, I would tell him to take a hike. I’m not in love with the guy, though, so that’s easy for me to say.”
“In love,” Harley scoffed. “We haven’t even been on an official date, because he’s married to his work. Not even his work—just working. And he only does that to help his family, because he’s a saint. Do you see why this is so perplexing?”
“No,” Annie answered, rising and grabbing Harley’s purse. She began rifling through it until she found her phone, and then held it out to her friend. “Dial the man’s number. ‘Ryan, I am interested in you. I want to date you.’ Enough said.”
“I don’t see how that’s particularly helpful!” Harley expressed as she snatched the phone from Annie’s hand.
“The poor guy doesn’t know where he stands with you, and you’re freaking him out.”
Stunned, Harley dropped the phone to her lap and pulled her legs around to sit on the couch properly. The fact that Ryan said those exact same words to her Friday night was not escaping her.
“What made you say that?”
Dropping her head, Annie let out a sigh. “You know I love you, but you’re not exactly easy to get close to. We’re pretty good friends, and I’ve never been to your house. I’ve never been inside your car to see what type of music you’re listening to. You don’t talk about your family, or where you grew up—”
“Because I don’t want to bore you to death.”
“Is that it, Harley? Truly? Because it feels like more. And if I can’t seem to break a barrier with you, when we’re relaxed and chummy, how is Ryan supposed to feel? He’s probably all tense and nervous around you.”
“People don’t have problems talking to me,” Harley countered. “That’s what I do all day, isn’t it?”
“Sure, reporter Harley. Not this Harley, the one I see on Wednesday nights. You hold yourself back. I know because I used to do it myself.”
Unable to stop the laugh from bursting forth, Harley shook her head. “Annie Jessup holding herself back? Now that I’d have to see to believe.”
“There are things about me that you don’t know. Many, many things. I’m quite a mystery.”
Annie reached behind Harley and grabbed her coat before snagging her purse and slinging it over her arm. Harley followed suit and rose, placing her phone back into her own purse.
“Okay, then, tell me about the mystery that is Annie. Inquiring minds want to know.”
Opening the front door, Annie shook her head solemnly.
“Sorry, but no. You open up to me and I’ll do the same, but not before. And if I find out you opened up to Ryan before me…” She stopped and gave Harley a warning glare. “Girl, you best not, that’s all I got to say.”
Walking into the office on Monday afternoon, Harley dropped her purse to the ground as she slumped into her chair. Her momentary popularity had taken on its own life form, and she wished she could escape. Without a clear exit route in sight, she placed an elbow on her desk and dropped her chin onto her hand.
Testing to see if she was a match for Kelsey was nerve-wracking enough, but because of Mitch she was living out the nervousness on camera and with a microphone in her hand. That day more than any other, she felt like she was using others for her own advantage. Not even for her advantage, really—for the betterment of Channel Six and the powers that be.
In addition to initial testing to determine whether she was a match for the liver donation, she had followed up on her bone marrow registration by submitting some blood for the National Marrow Donor program. She had been a possible match, they said, so they needed some bloodwork. Ordinarily she would have ignored it, since she had only registered for the little boy’s benefit in the first place, but since Mitch saw fit to accompany her on the story, he gently suggested that she “give it a go.” Her instinct was to spin around and tell him that he should “give it a go” himself, but she decided against poking the bear at that moment.
Initial observations acknowledged that Harley did share the same blood type as Kelsey, so additional tests would be completed. That tidbit of information alone sent her into a moment of panic, because she hadn’t clearly thought the situation through. If she was found to be a match, how long would she be off work? Would she herself be terribly ill?
Forcing the thoughts out of her mind yet again, Harley focused on her computer screen. Her email inbox held four messages from state politicians responding to her requests for comments on the pension issue, along with questions on a couple local issues that she had slipped in since she had the opportunity. Making herself give them attention seemed futile, though, because her heart wasn’t in any of it.
Crowned (Girls of Wonder Lane Book 2) Page 18