“You just turned twenty-nine,” her sister reminded her.
“And a lot of women today don’t even think about having babies until they’re in their forties,” Paige added.
Ashley shook her head. “I don’t believe this. I thought you would be on my side.”
“We are on your side,” her recently impregnated sister insisted.
“We just think you should take some time to be sure that this is what you want, that this isn’t an impulse,” her cousin added.
“When have I ever done anything impulsive?”
“Letting CBB put a ring on your finger after you’d been dating only a few months was pretty impulsive.”
“Okay—so I made one mistake.”
“The mistake wasn’t yours, it was his,” Paige said loyally. “But I still think, if you really want to have a baby, it should be with someone you care about—not a number and a description in a catalog.”
“Since there’s no one in my life who fits that criteria, I’ll go with the catalog.”
Megan speared a slice of peach with her fork. “What about Cam?”
“What about Cam?” Paige echoed, obviously intrigued by the possibility.
“I had a doctor’s appointment last week,” Megan said, “and ran into Cam at the office, and we chatted for a few minutes.”
“And?” Paige prompted.
“And I got to thinking that there were still sparks between Cam and Ashley at the reunion, and that it might not take much to fan those sparks into flame.”
“I didn’t see them at the reunion,” Paige admitted. “But I saw the way he was looking at her at the fair. He was making cow eyes at her over the cows.”
Megan snickered.
“Yeah,” Ashley said. “His feelings were so deep, he fell in love with someone else as soon as he left Pinehurst.”
“I don’t think that’s quite how it happened,” Megan chided gently.
Ashley shrugged. “It doesn’t matter. Cam and I were over a long time ago.”
“If that was true, you wouldn’t be so determined to avoid the man who could give you everything you want.”
“I don’t want anything from Cam Turcotte.”
“Then someone should call a doctor, because you obviously no longer have a pulse,” Paige said. “And hey—Cam is a doctor, so maybe he can jump-start your heart.”
“I’m glad you both find this situation so amusing,” Ashley said.
“Only because you’re so obviously in denial about your feelings for the man,” her sister said.
Ashley picked up her cup and sipped her cappuccino. She’d already said more than she’d ever intended to say on the subject of Cam Turcotte.
“Think about it,” Paige urged. “If you let Cam knock you up, at least then you’d know something about the father of your baby.”
“Aside from a basic physical description and necessary medical information, I don’t want to know anything about the father of my baby. That’s why I decided to go through the clinic.”
“Except that now you have to wait six months.”
Six months seemed like an eternity when she’d wanted a baby for so long already, but she really didn’t see that she had any other option.
“I’ll bet you could have Cam in your bed in six weeks,” Megan said.
“Six days,” Paige interjected.
“Except that I don’t want Cam in my bed.”
“I’m starting to seriously wonder about your pulse,” her cousin muttered.
“Because you’re not attracted to him anymore?” Megan asked, ignoring Paige’s comment. “Or because you are?”
Ashley frowned. “That’s an odd question.”
“Maybe, but I know how your mind works, and I know that, emotionally, you’re still reeling from Trevor’s betrayal, so the last thing you want is to stir up feelings for someone else.”
Apparently Megan did know how Ashley’s mind worked, and her sister’s insight was more than a little unnerving. “Since when did you become such an expert on the human heart?” she grumbled.
“Since I was lucky enough to fall in love. I never imagined I could feel anything like what I feel for Gage, and I only want the same thing for you.”
“I appreciate your concern,” Ashley said. “And while there was a time when I wanted exactly what you have with Gage—and when I was engaged to Trevor, I thought I’d found it—I’ve since realized that not everyone finds his or her soul mate.”
“You’re certainly not going to find him if you keep closing the doors that are opened to you.”
“Even if I was still attracted to Cam—and okay, I do have a pulse—I’m not foolish enough to get involved with a man who’s already broken my heart. Besides, he has an ex-wife and a child, and that’s more baggage than I’m willing to carry.”
“An ex-wife who lives in another country and an absolutely adorable little girl,” Megan clarified.
“Exactly how long were you chatting with him?”
Megan looked her in the eyes. “Long enough to figure out that the man still has a thing for my big sister.”
Ashley was less concerned about Cam’s feelings than her own, and she looked away before Megan could guess that her big sister still had a thing for the sexy doctor, too.
Nearly a week after he’d found out about Ashley’s appointment at PARC, Cameron couldn’t stop thinking about their conversation. He knew she would be a wonderful mother, so it wasn’t her desire to have a child that unnerved him but her willingness to be injected by some anonymous donor in order to make it happen.
As a doctor, he had counseled patients with respect to all kinds of reproductive options. He had never recommended artificial insemination to a single woman under the age of thirty and he didn’t understand why Ashley would choose that course.
But the more he thought about it, the more he thought that they each might be able to get what they wanted from the other. Of course, he first had to find a way to convince Ashley of that.
When he went to pick Maddie up from school the following Wednesday, he decided to put his plan into action. Leaving his daughter playing hopscotch with her friends, he dropped in to Ashley’s classroom.
“How do you feel about dinner Saturday night?” he asked her.
“Actually, I’m in favor of dinner every night,” she said.
“I meant dinner with me,” he clarified.
She hesitated. “And Maddie?”
He shook his head. “Just the two of us, maybe somewhere with actual tablecloths and wine and candlelight.”
“Sounds like a date,” she said cautiously.
“That’s the general idea,” he agreed.
“And, for all the reasons we discussed weeks ago, not a good one.”
“Forget about Maddie for a minute,” he told her, even though he wondered if she could. “This is about us and whether or not you want to have dinner with me.”
“I want to,” she admitted, albeit with apparent reluctance.
“So why don’t we discuss all the reasons you think it’s a bad idea on Saturday night?”
Her lips curved, just a little, drawing his attention to that temptingly luscious mouth, stirring erotic memories of the kisses they’d recently shared, and churning up desires that were already almost out of control.
“What time are you suggesting that we have this discussion?” she asked.
“How about seven?”
“That could work,” she finally agreed.
He took a step backward, determined to make his escape before she changed her mind. “Good. I’ll see you then.”
Ashley knew that going on a date with Cam was a bad idea. She knew it when he’d asked and when she’d agreed, but the sensible part of her had temporarily been overpowered by the sexually deprived part. Because while she’d been saying “yes, I’ll have dinner with you” what she’d really been thinking was “yes, I want to get naked with you.”
It was Megan’s fault. She was the one who’d plan
ted the idea of having sex with Cam in Ashley’s mind. Okay, maybe the idea had already taken root, but both Megan and Paige had nurtured it so that suddenly all Ashley could think about was having sex with Cam. And as she was getting ready for her date, she did so knowing that she was probably going to be getting naked with Cam before the night was over.
She took a leisurely shower, rubbing scented lotion on her skin when she was done, searching out her sexiest lingerie. The dress was a recent purchase from Chaundra’s Boutique. She’d seen it on display in the window and knew she had to buy it, even if she’d wondered if she’d ever have occasion to wear it. As she wriggled into it, she was grateful she’d gone with her instincts because if there was ever a dress made to entice, it was this one that molded to every curve of her body like a lover’s hands.
She’d never before set out to seduce a man. The fact that she was doing so now was both exciting and terrifying. The fact that the man was Cam was even more exciting and terrifying.
She gave a lot of thought to setting the scene. She straightened the bottles and pictures on her dresser, but she didn’t set candles around the room or program soft music. She wanted cozy, not romantic. Nothing that would give him the impression that having sex was about anything more than sex.
She put fresh sheets on the bed, fluffed the pillows, then sank onto the edge of the mattress and wondered—for about the hundredth time—can I really go through with this?
Did she really believe she could have sex with Cam and not want more? And how much more did she want? Was she looking for a relationship with him—or did she want him to father her child?
And how could she explain to him what she wanted when she wasn’t even sure herself?
Well, he knew she wanted a baby. But she’d let him believe that she wasn’t in any big hurry to get pregnant and that she would be making an appointment at the clinic when she was ready. And, all things considered, that was still probably the best plan.
Except that the more she thought about having Cam’s baby, the more she wanted Cam’s baby, and that realization gave her pause.
Before she left the bedroom, she automatically pulled open the drawer of her nightstand, checking for the condoms she kept there. Use of birth control was a habit that she’d never disregarded, not even—thank goodness—with her cheating bastard ex-fiancé. Checking that she was prepared was simply another deeply ingrained habit, but one that introduced new doubts and questions.
She didn’t think Cam slept around. She certainly hadn’t heard any rumors of him being involved with anyone since he’d come back to Pinehurst. On the other hand, the lack of information might just be a testament to his discretion and not his morals. Although she honestly doubted that he’d have either the opportunity or energy for an affair with a young daughter at home.
But regardless of what she wanted to believe, the fact was, she really didn’t know Cam any better than any man she might meet in a bar. And there was no way she would invite a stranger back to her home, to her bed, without gleaning some pertinent personal information about him first.
Could she trust that what she believed about Cam was true?
And could she trust that she was strong enough to share her body without giving him more?
When he’d left Pinehurst a dozen years earlier, he’d taken a good chunk of her seventeen-year-old heart and all of her silly, romantic dreams with him. Now that he was back, she knew she was in danger of falling into the same trap, of letting herself hope and yearn for something that could never be.
One of the reasons she’d decided to go the sperm bank route was that she hadn’t found herself attracted to any man since she’d ended her engagement. She knew a lot of good-looking men, men with whom she’d flirted and laughed easily in the past. But Trevor’s betrayal had cut deep, undermining both her self-confidence and faith in her own judgment.
If the man who’d claimed to love her and want a family with her could cheat on her even before the wedding, how was she ever supposed to trust anyone else? How could she know that the next guy she met and let herself care about wouldn’t do exactly the same thing? How could she know that Cam wouldn’t?
And the truth was, she didn’t know. Except that she did trust Cam because he’d always been brutally honest with her. If he lost interest in her, he would tell her. He would end their relationship before he moved on, and if he broke her heart in the process, at least he wouldn’t cheat on her.
She shook her head, pushing those thoughts aside. He wouldn’t break her heart—not this time. Because this time, her decision to get involved with him had nothing to do with her heart. She wouldn’t let it.
And yet there was a part of her that couldn’t help but wonder if it wasn’t already too late. If she was planning to bring Cam back here because she did care about him, because the idea of having his baby was one that she’d never completely relinquished.
She shook her head, reminding herself that she didn’t want anything from Cam Turcotte except a single night of passion. She would never again make the mistake of loving him.
Considering Ashley’s less-than-enthusiastic response when he’d invited her on this date, Cam didn’t have high expectations when he went to pick her up Saturday night. Still, he figured her agreement, however reluctant, was the first step in the right direction. He knew exactly what he wanted—he’d figured that out even before he’d made the decision to move back to Pinehurst, in the moment that he’d seen her across the room at their high school reunion. He wanted Ashley.
Maybe the realization shouldn’t have surprised him. It seemed that, for as far back as he could remember, he’d wanted Ashley. There was something about her—her sweetness and gentleness and warmth—that made him feel as if he was the luckiest guy in the world when he was with her.
And he’d made the biggest mistake in his life when he’d walked away from her.
He thought about what his mother had told him, and about the role his father’s warnings had played in his decision to go away to school, to leave Ashley behind. He didn’t doubt his father’s advice had been a factor, because he’d always listened to and respected his parents’ opinions. But ultimately the final decision had been his, and the biggest factor in that decision had been his own fear that he loved her too much.
He’d been nineteen years old, with his whole life ahead of him. He’d had places he wanted to go, things he wanted to see and do, and Ashley didn’t. Sure, she’d had plans for her life, but they were simple plans. Her career ambition was to be a first-grade teacher. Her personal goal was to get married and raise a family in Pinehurst. And when she talked to Cameron about her plans, it was all too easy to envision himself in the role of her husband, the father of her children, and it terrified him.
Knowing how she’d dreamed of a family, it seemed unbelievable to him that she hadn’t married and had half a dozen children in the years he’d been gone. Unbelievable and unbelievably lucky for him.
He knew she wasn’t ready to jump back into a relationship with him. After the way he’d walked out on her, she was understandably wary. He still wasn’t sure if Maddie’s obvious need for a mother figure made her even more so, or if his little girl was the only reason she was even giving him the time of day.
He knew she already loved his daughter. The question was, could she love him? Could she forgive the mistakes he’d made in the past and give him another chance?
That she’d agreed to this date tonight gave him hope that maybe she could.
And when she opened the door to greet him, he suddenly found himself hoping for a whole lot more.
He’d always known she was beautiful. The flawless ivory skin, stunning violet eyes and soft, kissable lips meant that she could be wearing ratty old jeans and an oversized shirt with her hair in a ponytail and she’d look beautiful. Tonight, wearing a siren-red dress and mile-high heels and the same scent that never failed to stir his fantasies, she completely took his breath away.
He closed his mouth, because he w
as seriously afraid he might drool. The sparkle in her eyes and the hint of a smile on her glossy lips warned that she knew exactly the image she presented and that she’d intended to bring him to his knees.
He was already halfway there, more than ready to beg.
The sound of the deadbolt clicking into place as she turned her key in the lock finally registered through the fog that had taken over his brain and propelled him into action. He took her hand and led her to his SUV.
“A friend of mine recommended a new place that recently opened up in downtown Syracuse, if you don’t mind the drive.”
“I don’t mind,” she said.
She stepped up onto the running board and slid onto the passenger seat, and as she did, the skirt of her dress slid up a few more tantalizing inches.
She’d always had incredible legs, and in that dress and those shoes, they were shown to full advantage. Long and lean and tanned and bare.
He forced his tongue back into his mouth and closed the door. It was going to be a hell of a long ride to Syracuse—and an uncomfortable one.
“You said you wanted to discuss all the reasons that this date was a bad idea,” he suddenly remembered, thinking that if he was focused on conversation, it would be a lot more difficult to imagine various and creative ways to get her out of that body-hugging dress.
“I changed my mind.”
He glanced over at her. “You no longer think this is a bad idea?”
“I’m sure it’s a bad idea,” she told him. “But I’ve decided to go with it for tonight anyway.”
There was something in her tone, something that tempted him to think that she was willing to go with it further than dinner. Or maybe he was letting his own desires influence his interpretation of her words.
One step at a time, he reminded his overly enthusiastic hormones.
She had agreed to a date, which he figured gave him permission to kiss her good night, but he wasn’t going to think any further ahead than that.
The Pregnancy Plan Page 11