by J. L. Beck
A tray of food sat upon a counter as if it were waiting for me. I blinked slowly, wondering if I should even eat it or not. Then my stomach decided to groan once more in hunger. Fuck. It felt like being with the man I ran away from all over again. Drake. The control, the emotional despair that only he could bring out in me.
“Just eat and get out,” I muttered out loud to myself. If I knew anything, it was that I had a very limited amount of time to attempt to get out of here. Lifting the top of the tray, my mouth started to water. Placed on a white plate was a slab of meatloaf with potatoes and gravy. Who cooked this? Could someone have poisoned it? Would I risk it? The questions seemed to be stacking up, but I pushed them to the back of my head.
With just enough time I allowed myself to take in a few whiffs of the food before scarfing the entire plate down, each piece hitting the bottom of my belly like a rock being thrown into a lake.
“If you eat too fast you’ll puke, and then I’ll have to place another order for food.” My head lifted, my ears perking up at his voice, my eyes scouring the room for his presence. There he sat in the dim lighting of the room, near his unlit fireplace. His form casting a shadow in the corner. He was sitting in one of the chairs I had failed to notice that was along one of the windows I hadn’t gotten to look out of yet.
So much for a fast escape.
“I can’t trust you.” My words were honest as I stared at him. There was no clear set of emotions etched into his features. In fact, the only thing I could tell was that he looked tired, desperate, and maybe even a little lonely.
His jaw tilted up, the light making his face look like he harbored a darker side to him.
“Have I given you a reason to trust me?” His question was a trick, so I didn't dare answer, instead I narrowed my eyes in anger. “I didn’t think so, nor will I ever. Doing so would give you a false sense of hope… That maybe, just maybe, I’ll allow you to get out of this alive.”
Everything here seemed darker and more dangerous. My hand drifted to my throat-a reminder of all that he could do, yet what he was saying didn’t make sense when he had multiple chances to take my life from me.
“I see you thinking. I see you working something out in your head, a plan… maybe?” he murmured. His words weren’t slurred, but from the bottle of whiskey in his hands I would say it wouldn’t be long.
I shook my head, a few strands of my hair falling into my face. “I’m not working out a plan at all. Just trying to decide how I’m going to say fuck you when I leave this place… Because mark my words, I refuse to be a prisoner again.” Grayson’s eyes darkened in anger and understanding, and it was then I realized I had said far too much.
“Prisoner? Has someone held you against your will before?” His question was one that I refused to answer, and because of that I would practically be giving myself away. The only acceptable way to get out of answering him was to halfway answer him.
I bit my lip, the memories were all too real, at least in my mind. Except I could easily see my life here with Grayson turning into the same thing.
“Yes, and I refuse to talk about it. Don’t ask me questions, and don’t assume that I can’t handle myself in a situation such as this one. I’ve been put through far worse.” I tried to remain strong, or at least appear that way.In the eyes of a man like Grayson, if he saw the slightest bit of weakness he would pounce on it, causing every strong piece of who you were to crumble.
I'd already showed him how vulnerable I was. I wouldn't do it again.
The air around us seemed to change. There was a zing in the air, the kind you feel right before lightning strikes.
“I’ll make you a deal then,” Grayson spoke. I had been right, lightning was just about to strike.
“I don’t make deals with the devil.”
“You do today. You do as I tell you, you don’t attempt any escapes, and give me what I want and need. And at the end of all of this, I will let you go.” My heart was beating heavy in my ears. Had he just given me a way out? No one had ever given me a way out before…
“How? I mean… I don’t believe you.” I stumbled over my words, shocked that he had offered something that couldn’t be true.
It’s a sense of false hope, Ellie. Don’t believe a wolf in sheep’s clothing.
Grayson stood from his chair, everything in me told me run; after all he had silenced me twice already. Who was I to say he wouldn’t do it again so soon? Yet my feet were stuck to the tile floor like boots in mud. My insides churned, and a strange sensation formed in my chest. Even if I was scared of Grayson and the things he could do, there was a still a small part of me that yearned to know him, to learn what made him tick. People weren’t evil for no reason. It almost always stemmed from something in their past.
“It doesn’t matter if you believe me, Ellie. What matters is my word, and I will do whatever I can to let you go. Even if it means my own death.” With wide eyes, I stared at him. Was my mind playing tricks on me?
I didn’t even know what to say… Instead, I stared aimlessly, feeling as if everything had been flipped upside down. I didn’t know if I could believe him, not with all that had happened in the last twenty-four hours, but then again what other option did I have?
Not believing him didn’t matter, it was his word against my own personal thoughts. The only thing I really knew was that my life now laid in his hands, because I was about to seal the deal with one simple word.
“Yes.”
“You have got to be the dumbest fucker on the planet.” Tucker snorted as I explained to him the details of Ellie and I’s deal. I knew it wasn’t the worst choice I had ever made in my life, but I needed to know more about her. Hearing that she had already once been in a bad situation told me that I couldn’t be that man to her. I couldn’t hurt her any more than I already had, even if it ruined me, or better yet got me killed.
“I don’t know what else to do. I feel this piece of shit thing in my chest beating for the first time in years, you know since my sister…” I trailed off. I couldn’t talk about it. There was no way for me to bring it up without wanting to destroy the person who took her life from me, and when you couldn’t find said person that meant a lot of other people took the brunt of that person’s abuse.
“Letting her go is way too fucking risky. There’s no way it’s going to happen. The second the men find out about her, she’s dead. Then what, Gray?” He gloated. There was a fire in my veins that was begging to be released, but I held back knowing that it was my fault that she was here. Not his, not hers, just mine.
“I just don’t know what else to do.” I sounded so defeated, which wasn’t like me at all. Hell, since Ellie came around, I had become the biggest pussy on the planet.
I headed towards the kitchen to get a glass of water. After last night I needed something that was going to hydrate me. I had to spend the entire night with Ellie, her body close to mine but not really as she pulled herself away every chance she got. She might have agreed to my terms, but it wasn’t something she wanted to do. I could tell by the look in her deep blue eyes.
“Well, you might want to figure it out soon. The guys called not long ago. Said they were on their way back, that they had a meeting with the boss man and needed to discuss some things,” Tuck retorted just as I came back into the living room. I had locked Ellie up in my bedroom, knowing that she wouldn’t try anything dumb if she knew what was good for her.
“Maybe I should just tell them...” I went over the idea in my head. It sounded good out loud, but then again hearing her cry for life as they brought a gun to her head caused my chest to ache. I squeezed my hands together until my knuckles turned white.
“No. Just do what you can to keep her hidden,” Tuck plainly stated, looking up at me from the TV. He was my longest standing friend amongst the others. He knew where any and all soft spots in my heart came from. He also was one of the only people who had my back when I went against the bosses back in the day. Back when I was certain he had somethin
g to do with her death. My sister.
I was already getting to a point where I wasn’t sure if I could let Ellie go. From the moment I laid eyes on her in that club I wanted to possess her.
“I’ll do what I can, but if it comes out I’m not going to be able to stop them.” I knew it as much as Tuck did. If we were out voted then there was nothing I could do to keep her here with me, and the way it was looking I already was.
“Stop who?” My chest heaved, I could feel the sweat forming on my skin as my anxiety built. I had killed tons of men, but nothing had me more nervous than the chance of my brothers finding Ellie.
“Oh, the Mets are playing in the World Series. Somehow I doubt they’re going to be able to hold against the Kansas City Royals,” Tuck said, letting the lie fall from his lips easily as he covered my ass.
Cole’s eyes drifted between the two of us. Then he dismissed us, walking away into the main kitchen. Cole was the playboy of the house. He took women as he pleased, his eyes and body did all the talking when he didn’t have to.
Luke entered the house next, not too long after Cole. He was the one you had to watch out for. He could read anyone like a book, and with one wrong look he would be able to tell something was up. He was also the closest to our boss.
“You missed one of the best jobs I’ve ever been on, Gray.” Luke’s hand slapped me on the back hard.
“Oh yeah? Why was that?” I chimed back smoothly.
“Well first, boss had us at a strip club. Cole even brought a couple of the chicks with him,” he said, casting a look over his shoulder. “Anyway, it was a bloody ass mess. We ended up taking five men out that owed money. Then we got to fuck the shit out of the strippers. I mean every hole, Gray. Ass, mouth, vagina. There wasn’t a damn thing off limits.” He chuckled.
Any day before finding Ellie, and I would’ve been laughing right along. Instead I was feeling disgusted simply from hearing about it.
I didn't know if what I was feeling towards Ellie was love or not, because I hadn't felt love for anyone besides my family, but I knew I felt a connection to her. I felt the need to protect her from all the evil in this world, even if I was the most evil thing within touching distance of her at the moment. I stayed silent, my eyes training to the game as I heard Dex enter through the garage. With a slam of the door, I knew we were going to be in for a long night.
“What’s a matter, Dex?” Tuck asked before the question could escape my lips. Dex was the genius of us all. If anyone could get away with murder, it would be him. Not only could he execute the plan, but he would construct it as well.
“Meeting. Now.” His words were clipped as he headed towards the business room, not even glancing at us. Luke and Cole followed behind him, their footfalls echoing down the stairwell.
“Let’s go,” I grunted at Tuck as I headed the same way. I knew better than to show any type of anger or exhaustion. To my brothers I didn’t have a reason for anger, fear, or to be worn out. If I wasn’t given what I wanted, then I could take it.
“Boss has a new job for us.” Dex pulled out folders for every person in the room. I took a seat in my usual spot, just as Tucker walked in.
“Job? Nothing seems like it’s a job with him nowadays,” Tuck joked, but no one saw the humor in it.
“The woman in this folder is someone who needs to be found as soon as possible. Dead or alive.” Dex was in full authority mode. I grabbed the folder, curious as to what kind of person we were up against. The folder felt light in my hands. That was until I opened it and my eyes skimmed over the black and white photo inside of it. The photo was that of a much younger Ellie. Maybe five years younger, but I could definitely still see her in the photo. In that moment, my heart sank into my stomach. I was an evil man, a killer even, but I knew better than to become one of those people. The ones that double-crossed the boss.
“Who is she?” I blurted out, not wanting to try and sound overly interested. After all, we were both as good as dead if they found out I was hiding her upstairs.
“The boss’ daughter.” Dex’s eyes met mine right as he tossed his folder down onto the table in frustration.
“I’ve been looking for her on my own for a month now with no leads. Apparently, she walked out on her fiancé and was never seen again. Her father has given all hope on her listening and learning to live with the life he had given her, and now he doesn’t care if she is brought in alive or not.” Dex didn’t seem to care that the reasoning behind our boss’ motives to kill his own daughter were nonexistent. Nothing in anything that Dex had said made sense to me. There was no true meaning to kill Ellie. Simply because her father felt she had disobeyed him? She was an adult.
Like I had said before, when I killed people I did so with a cause or attempted to do so. I wasn’t just working for boss any more, I was on the hunt for my sister’s killer. Knowing that Ellie was the boss' daughter told me there was way more to this story than Dex was letting on.
“Any idea where she is?” Tucker questioned next. The way is his eyes bleed into mine told me he was just as concerned with the news as I was.
“Word on the street is that she lives in this area.” A sigh from Dex filled the room. My eyes lifted to Luke’s. He was watching me, or maybe he wasn’t and I was just one paranoid bastard.
“Should be easy to find her then.” Cole smirked. He was the lover boy, and had I not got Ellie first, Cole would’ve been the next person to lure her in with the flash of his pretty white teeth. He was the true wolf in sheep’s clothing in our group.
Alarm bells were going off in my head, ringing non-stop. I knew, now more than ever that I had to do something with her.
Looking down I noticed that I was white knuckling the shit out of the folder. Deep breathes, Grayson. Deep fucking breaths.
I could feel eyes on me, and just as I looked up to see who it was that had spotted my mixed emotions, Dex’s phone rang. His ringtone filled the room with an annoying ding. We all watched as he looked at the caller id before finally answering.
“This is Dex.” He kept his voice void of all emotion, but I could see the annoyance in his eyes. Sometimes I thought Dex and I could be closer if he wasn’t so far up the boss’ ass.
“8th street?” Dex asked, his eyes growing dark. He grabbed a pen from the table and started writing on the back of his folder of information. Whoever was on the other end of that phone was giving him directions.
“We'll deliver, we always do.” Dex smiled, hanging up the phone.
“Hot fucking damn, more bloodshed?” Cole, shoved from the table with way more enthusiasm than he should’ve for someone who just got to kill, but I guess that was the thing about all of us. We thrived off of very different things, Cole’s thing was blood.
“Hit the Tahoe boys, we’ve got a kill to make.” Tremors worked their way through my body slowly as I stood, placing the folder on the table. Ellie was going to be as good as dead, and so was I.
Neither of us would be able to walk away from this now.
Hours seemed to have passed since I signed my own death certificate. When I awoke the smell of blood and danger was in the air. I blinked my eyes open trying to figure out why darkness was all I could see. Fabric could be felt across my eyelids and against my wrists, restraining me from seeing or moving. And as panic formed in my chest, I felt the soft caress of a hand down my chest.
“I should’ve resisted you. I should’ve left you in that alley.” Grayson’s voice was like liquid smoke. It filled my lungs, breathing some type of life back into me.
“Why am I restrained?” My words hung in the air for a long moment as I felt the softness of the fabric rub against my flesh. The silence caused a shudder to run down my spine as each second in between him responding ticked away.
“I… I… I told you I would do whatever you wanted.” I stumbled over my words trying to figure out what the hell was going on. His darkness surrounded me, waking parts of my body that hadn’t been awakened in years.
“We had an
agreement, and now you must pay…” I knew what he meant, he wanted my body and no matter how much I told myself I wouldn’t feel anything from his touch, I knew that it was all a lie. That my body craved his touch more than it ever had anyone, so I gave in easily.
“Take what you want,” I told him, my voice not my own.
His footsteps echoed off the wood floor, and I couldn’t tell if he was walking towards me or away. All I knew was that I didn’t want him to leave yet.
“Oh sweet, Ellie.” He laughed gruffly. “I won’t be taking what I want. That’s not how I work.” I blinked behind the blindfold, unsure of how I felt about what he had just said.
“Every second that I possess your body, will be a second that you enjoy. I won’t take what I want, but I will give you what you need, what you desire…” Hot breath hit my ear, and I shuddered. My core grew wet with desires for a ruthless man, a man that had wrapped his hand around my throat and sent me into an unconscious state more than once.
My breath hitched in my chest as I felt his hand glide over my throat and down, stopping between my breasts. Unable to conceal what he was doing to my body, my heart pounded in my chest.
“I… can’t…” The words wouldn’t come out. I just knew that I couldn’t let anything happen between us, anything that would cause me to self-destruct.
“Shhh…” Grayson’s lips settled onto my own, the harsh, firmness of them taking me back to that night in the alley where he turned my world upside down. “You can, and you will,” he whispered softly, and then it was as if the man I had previously met vanished. It was as if a mask had been lifted and thrown to the floor.
I could do nothing to stop him from ravishing me; from destroying me from the inside out. His teeth nipped at my bottom lip, forcing me to open up to him. His hands roamed my body roughly, as if he was searching for a hidden treasure.