by J Rose
Hearing my alarm clock beep, I sighed sitting up on my bed and rubbing my eyes. The exhaustion from lack of sleep was evident. Still, sleep was something that did not come easily to me when I worried.
“No school today,” I said to myself before heading to the bathroom. My mother had already left for work and I was quick to shower letting the cold water wake me up. Sighing, I tried to stop my racing heart that only increased the more I worried.
“He’ll love you no matter what,” I tried to convince myself but too many doubts filled my head. I'd let my thoughts drift for too long. By the time I was out of the shower my hands looked like prunes.
Heading toward the kitchen after getting ready for my day I poured myself some cereal and milk.
“How much would my life change,” I wondered. There was so much that was about to change and I wasn't sure I was ready for it. The sound of the doorbell was heard then, with a sigh I headed towards the door but not before grabbing a quick spoonful of my cereal.
"Yes," I questioned confused. There was a man standing in front of my door. The look on his face was blank and for lack of a better word he looked official, dressed all in black from head to toe.
“DNA Lab,” He finally spoke, handing me a large manila envelope.
“Thank you,” I whispered before he nodded and left. Closing the door behind me I leaned against the door unsure as to what was going to happen. Would this be okay?
Taking deep breaths, I tried to calm down as I clutched the envelope in my shaking hands. I knew what would await, no face, no name, no pictures, just a city. An unfair rule where Nova men seemed to be the ones that could know absolutely everything about you the moment they received their own letter.
“Just open it you can do this Lyric,” I said to myself before opening the envelope. But upon looking at the city, the name of it written across there I felt myself reverting back. No longer was Lyric the woman standing there, but Lyric the broken, fragile, insecure girl I was five years ago.
“Archer. Capital,"
“I have to go back to Archer Capital,” I heard myself say.
It was like thunder had struck my world and I was once again pulled into the large hole I had slowly climbed out of. Flashes of my father, of Scott, Parker. Everything seemed to come back wave after wave, flashback after flashback, nightmare after horrible nightmare.
#
How long had I been there? Crying my eyes out. Minutes…. hours…. days... It felt like years to me. How much longer would my past come back to haunt me?... To cause me pain?... How much longer would it follow me?
Hearing another knock on the door I tried to wipe my tears. I knew I couldn't hide the fact that I'd been crying as my eyes were bloodshot. Even so, I would try my best to calm down and conceal my feelings. Sniffling one last time and taking a deep breath I opened the door.
"Jane. Andrew" Looking at my friends made my emotions rush back. There was a flicker in Andrew's eyes as he gazed back at me though Jane was oblivious to my sadness.
“We want to go have dinner together the three of us,” Jane began to say hugging me tightly and smiling. The moment she noticed my tears, however, her expression quickly changed.
“What’s wrong?” Andrew asked. Concerned he walked over to me, however, Jane picked up the envelope that was on the floor and recognition was clear in her eyes.
“Archer Capital. They’re sending you back to the mainland’s,” Jane spoke.
“Archer Capital,” Andrew spoke looking at me.
I could see it in his eyes the pain. Knowing that we were not meant, realizing where it was they were sending me.
“I’m scared,” I heard myself admit and Jane immediately hugged me tightly. Andrew, however, seemed to distance himself at that moment unsure as to how to react.
“You won’t be alone,” Jane spoke.
“It’s why we wanted to celebrate. I received my DNA results. He’s in Archer Capital too,” Jane spoke, offering me a smile and wiping my tears away.
“You’ll have me there and you’re always talking about your friend Crystal,” Jane answered.
“We’ll be there for you no matter what. That’s what sisters are for,” Jane said before hugging me.
#
The movers arrived earlier than expected. I’d been given a week to arrange everything for the move which included quitting my job. An unfair compromise that unfortunately every girl made and yet, happiness was all they were within months of being with their mate. Knowing this did not lessen my worries any less.
“Is that it?” My mother asked me.
“I don’t have much, just clothes. I was told I wouldn’t need anything else” I told her quietly. Looking at me, her eyes were sad as she reached to touch my cheek gently.
“I’m not comfortable letting you go back there on your own,” My mother spoke gently.
“But whoever he is. He’ll make sure that you’re safe,” My mother said smiling. Looking at her, the hope in her eyes I didn’t have the heart to answer her back with a question of “How do you know?”. I couldn’t understand it. Why she was so optimistic for me when her own soulmate had died and she’d been paired off instead to my own father?
“You’ll write to me?” She asked hopefully.
“Every day,” I said to her before she hugged me.
“Jane and Crystal. Stick with them,” My mother said gently before I nodded.
“Come on Lyric. We have to go. We have to get on the road before it gets dark,” Jane said.
“Coming,” I managed to say.
“Wait!”
Turning to look at Andrew I couldn’t help but smile. He hadn’t spoken to me since finding out I was leaving but the sad yet genuine smile on his face told me we’d be okay as friends.
“Here,” He said handing me a notebook. I knew exactly what it was. Our journal, songs, poems, anything we ever wanted to talk about, get off our chests that’s what that book represented, our growing friendship. It was one of the many techniques Andrew had used to get me to open up to him and Jane when he realized talking was not my forte.
“I want you to keep it okay. Hold on to it,” Andrew said.
“I know we’re not meant to be,” He spoke, his eyes sad.
“But all you need to do is call me, and I’ll be there for anything you need,” He said. Hearing his comforting words, I found myself smiling at him.
“Come on Lyric we’re going to be late,” Jane said a smile on her face as she looked in between Andrew and me.
“Keep her safe firecracker,” He said, causing Jane to smile at him brightly upon using his nickname for her.
“Always,” She said before getting inside the car.
“Stay safe,” Andrew said hugging me tightly.
“And don’t let anyone make you feel like you’re not worth anything because you're worth more than they know,” Andrew whispered kissing my cheek.
“Bye,” I whispered to him.
“No. See you later,” He said before I got in back of the car with Jane. The driver at the front quiet, somehow he seemed familiar though I could not place it.
“Are you ready Miss. Mason?” He asked.
“Yes,” I managed to say before the car took off. Quiet ensued the rest of the way and I realized then and there my destiny had now become unknown.
#
We’d been traveling for two days in the large, black, spacious car. Throughout our travels, there weren't many stops with the exception of a few rest-stops here and there. I didn’t really mind the long ride. The open road seemed to clear my head somehow. The peace of the quiet road made me think about so many things and possibilities. But the closer we got to Archer Capital, the more I felt my heart sink. I could see the large castle in the distance once we approached the Archer Gates. Jane was sleeping comfortably on my shoulder but all I could do was clutch that single letter from anonymous in my hand reminding myself that I was different. I had changed. They could not break me.
“I’m not broken anym
ore.”
“I’m not broken anymore,” My mind seemed to chant.
We were halfway through Archer Capital when the driver stopped startling Jane awake.
“Who is it? Me or you?” She asked sleepily rubbing her eyes as she woke, stretching like a Cheshire cat.
“I don’t know,” I repeated quietly, though I hoped it was her because I wanted to prolong my meeting with my soulmate.
“Miss. Jane,” The driver said quietly. Smiling at me kindly she hugged me.
“I guess this is my stop. Your soulmate’s the one with the money then. Good luck,” Jane said winking before going to the trunk to pull out her suitcases.
“Have fun,” She said to me before closing the trunk of the car and just like that we took off again.
#
The deeper we entered the city, the more my heart raced. My mind was running a mile a minute with a hurtful past of people. Scott. I hadn’t thought about him in a while. While I had been afraid for Parker to know my secret, I was absolutely terrified of Scott. Scott was a monster. Parker had never laid a hand on me, never truly made me feel like I was nothing. Scott. Scott was an entirely different story. I knew where we were headed. The best part of town where the rich and spoiled lived. I knew it was ignorant to believe it but I’d only known one single type of guy like Scott and Parker. Both of whom had always had things handed to them easily. The only one I knew was an exception had always been Spencer and finding a guy like that was like finding a needle in a haystack.
“Where are we going?” I wanted to ask the driver but I could not seem to find my voice.
“Please not Scott, anyone but Scott,” I chanted in my head, hands shaking as I held them tightly together in my lap.
The farther into town we went the fewer houses I saw. It wasn't until I saw that single Castle in the middle of Archer Capital that I felt my heart drop.
"Parker..."
“Miss. Mason. We’re here,” The driver said before the gates of the castle opened and we were let in.
*Bump Ba-bump, Bump Ba-Bump*
There it was again that familiar feeling of not being able to breathe, my knees grew weak and my stomach plummeted over and over. How could this have happened? How could this have been my fate?
#
(Parker)
Sitting in my room I couldn’t help but feel angry at myself.
“How could I have messed this up so badly?” She was my soulmate, the girl that I’d tormented, broken, and hurt. She was mine, and I had taken part in her pain. Remembering what Crystal and Spencer had said I couldn’t help but wince at my own stupidity.
#
For what seemed like hours, no one spoke. We couldn’t. The realization of what we were seeing, the sick twisted irony of it all made my head reel.
“Parker.”
It was only when I heard my name being called that I turned to look at them. Crystal offered me a sympathetic smile and picked up the picture of Lyric from the ground.
“She’s different. Better,” Crystal spoke, handing me the picture of Lyric.
Looking at the photograph I couldn’t help but stare. She was far more beautiful than I remembered. But her eyes, those chocolate eyes that I could never forget filled with pain seemed to be staring right back at me. They were different. No longer was the pain so deep that her turmoil seemed to penetrate your soul and hit you like a thousand daggers to your heart.
Still, the undertone of it remained in her eyes that it was hard to look at it without fighting back my own tears.
“She’s your soulmate,” Crystal said to me, a hint of amazement in her voice as she spoke.
“And I hurt her,” I heard myself say. Once again silence seemed to fill the room while Spencer and Crystal both exchanged looks amongst each other.
“She’ll forgive you Parker. It was a long time ago,” Spencer said, offering me a warm smile though his eyes were filled with pity as he looked at me.
“We all know that’s not true,” I say to him.
“Parker… Lyric’s not a resentful person. She’s changed, Parker. What happened to her wasn’t your fault. Everything that happened to her was beyond our control. Believe me, if I could have helped I would have she’s my best friend afterall,” Crystal spoke softly, her eyes flickering with pain.
“But I-”
“I know you hurt her too,” Crystal says cutting me off.
“But she’ll forgive you. You saved her Parker. You were able to help her when we couldn’t. She’ll forgive you,” Crystal said.
“You were never good with feelings,” Spencer says, and I find myself feeling like an idiot again. At the same time, I also realize that my own heart had known what my eyes and my mind had not wanted to see.
#
As much as I wanted to believe she would forgive me I knew it wasn’t possible. Had I been in her position I would not be able to forgive myself. I still hadn’t. My father had been more than happy to know the news as to who my mate was. In fact, everyone seemed to have that reaction. Still… no one really knew what happened five years ago. Preparations had been made the entire week for her arrival. Still, that clenching in my chest continued as the week progressed. I was aware she didn’t know it was me who was her mate. Thinking of her rejection only added to the pressure I felt from all this. What worried me the most was not her rejection, I’d been able to live with it and understand that it was more than likely to happen. What worried me most was her state of mind. The last thing I ever wanted to cause her again was pain, for her to revert back to that girl she had been in high school. That look of pain in her eyes, the look of being lost. There was nothing more that I wanted than to erase all that pain she’d felt and replace it with love.
“I’d give anything in the world for one chance. One chance to prove to you that I can be what you need.”
#
It’s dark again. I’m surrounded by murky water. I know this dream. I’ve had it for so long that I know every single frame that happens after this like the palm of my hand.
She’s floating in the middle of the dark water. Lyric. Only this time she’s not the Lyric I knew, she’s the Lyric of now. Her eyes are still void, and there is no type of movement indicating that she’s alive. Like always as much as I try to reach her I can’t. The more I swim the farther from me she gets. I can’t call out to her, I can’t reach her, and then she looks at me.
“Why did you do this to me?”
“Why can’t you leave me alone?”
Just like that, I wake up every single time. Only this time I don’t wake up. Instead, I find myself sitting by the tree again. Angel is sitting there frozen in time the way she died five years ago. She looks at me and her eyes are filled with understanding.
“It’ll be fine Parker. She’s better now,” Angel says, her voice soft and comforting.
“I know you don’t believe me but things will turn out just fine,” Angel says.
“How? I don’t know how to fix this," I say causing Angel to smile.
“Prove to her that you’ve changed. Show her you love her. More than anything, make her feel safe. Coming back here is going to hurt her,” Angel speaks sadly.
“But you have to make sure to fix it, fix her. Just because the pain in her heart lessened doesn’t mean it went away. So make it go away…”
#
Two days. It was like a ticking time bomb just waiting to go off. Part of me wanted nothing more than for her to walk through that door. The other part didn’t want her to come back at all. I’d given her up five years ago because I didn’t want her to keep hurting. Now because of me, she’d been pulled back into the nightmare she escaped from.
“Hey man!” Looking at Brad I couldn’t help but shake my head.
“Isn’t your soulmate arriving today?” I questioned. He’d gotten his soulmate’s file 3 months ago but wasn’t allowed to see her. Brad had been caught by Nova officers with another woman three years ago.
“She is but I don’t think she want
s to see me. She made that perfectly clear,” Brad said causing me to chuckle at the memory.
Given the circumstances of Brad’s situation, the Nova Labs sent Brad’s soulmate a letter specifying why she would not meet her soulmate yet. Needless to say, she was angry. In fact, the girl wrote a letter right back and insulted Brad in more ways possible than anyone could imagine. Thinking back to my own behavior, I had not considered the fact that Lyric knew my… colorful past with women. I hadn’t been caught by Nova officers like Brad had been. However, I can count more than one occasion where I’d walked down the hall past Lyric with a girl on my arm.
I wondered if she’d care, but that was the least of my worries. Looking around, I could see dozens of people gathered in my house.
My father being King and me being the successor made Lyric the future queen of Archer. This was something that I knew would only add pressure to this already complicated relationship, if there would ever be one. The type of girl Lyric was I knew she did not like attention or crowds. Not that I did, but given the circumstances, part of me was glad we wouldn’t be alone. Not yet at least. As much as I’d thought the situation over a thousand times in my head I could never find the right words to say to her. I could never find the right way to apologize to Lyric.
From a distance, I could see Crystal and Spencer both of them chatting by the window though I could see Crystal’s eyes occasionally drift to look outside.
“You nervous?” Brad asked.
“You’ve met her before there’s no need to be,” Brad shrugged. Part of me wanted to point out exactly how it was I met her, but I was already stressing enough about this as it was.
“Parker!”