by SJ McCoy
“No.”
“It gets me that way sometimes, too.”
Her heart leaped into her mouth. What did he mean? She hadn’t slept well because her mind had been racing with thoughts about him—before she got to sleep and from the moment she came near the surface. Was he saying that sometimes he couldn’t sleep because he was thinking about her? “What?” She hated that her voice came out as a squeak.
“The booze. Your body can’t process it, and instead of getting a good rest, you end up not sleeping so well.”
“Oh, yes.” Of course, that was what he meant. “That must have been it.”
“Since you’re up, do you want to get together now?”
Excitement swept away her disappointment. “We can. What are you thinking?”
“That we could hang out for the day. Not just lunch. I’ll come pick you up.”
“Err …” She peered into the disarray in her closet.
“Whenever you’re ready. You tell me what time.”
She nodded to herself. The state of her closet didn’t matter, and what she wore didn’t really matter either. “Give me half an hour?”
“Sure. Want me to bring anything?”
“Just yourself.”
“Okay. See you in a bit.”
“Bye.”
She hung up and hurried back into her closet. She pulled on her favorite jeans; they were comfortable—that was the most important consideration, not the fact that she knew they made her booty look great. She looked around wildly at the tops scattered all over the floor. This wasn’t like her. She spotted the vee neck sweater she’d tried on first and put it on. If it showed off too much cleavage, it would only help her confirm whether her instincts were right.
~ ~ ~
Zack pulled up outside her house in the same spot he’d parked in last night. He’d spent the small hours wondering if he might have gone inside with her if that car alarm hadn’t sounded. It would have been a mistake if he had—but a mistake he knew he wouldn’t have regretted.
He grabbed a bag off the passenger seat and climbed out of the truck. When he’d spoken to her earlier, and she’d told him she hadn’t been able to sleep in, it had made him wonder if she’d been tossing and turning thinking about last night, too. He had a feeling that maybe she had. He didn’t know what his plan was for today. He wanted to let her know that he liked her, but he couldn’t tell her why he couldn’t act on it. At the same time, he wanted to act on it to show her in no uncertain terms just how much he liked her. He couldn’t though, at least not for … who knew how long? She wasn’t a girl he could just fool around with for a while. She was someone he wanted to get close to, and he couldn’t get close to anyone.
He clutched the bag tighter as he walked up the path. He hoped she’d appreciate the gesture. He’d gone for a drive this morning—anything rather than sit in the house driving himself nuts with thoughts of what he could and couldn’t do and say today. He’d ended up at the bakery in town where he’d bought her a box of her favorite chocolate croissants. A whole gang of them had gone for a picnic hike up above Four Mile Creek a couple of months ago, and she’d brought a box of the croissants. Watching her eat one had been an exquisite kind of torture. It’d made him even more desperate to know what she’d be like in bed. She’d made these appreciative little noises, savored every mouthful and even licked her fingers when she was done. His cock stirred at the memory. Down boy. He’d brought her some this morning because he knew she enjoyed them—not because he was hoping for a repeat performance.
He raised his hand to knock on the door, and it opened. He clenched his jaw in an attempt to stop a low whistle from escaping his lips. She always looked good to him, no matter what she wore, but this morning? Damn! He’d guess that she hadn’t gone to any kind of special effort—she was one of those girls who was always well-groomed, well put together. She probably had no idea of the effect her outfit would have on him, but … damn … was the only word that came to mind.
Her heavy breasts looked as though they were trying to climb out of her sweater to greet him, and she was wearing a pair of jeans that had to be his favorites on her. They had a small tear just below her right knee—he neither knew nor cared if it was there by design or accident. All he knew was that that little tear had trained him over the last few months to expect to see her gorgeous, ample ass displayed perfectly for him when she turned around. He’d never gone so far as to start dropping things on the floor for her to pick up when she wore those jeans—but he’d been tempted.
“Hi, come on in.”
She smiled and sounded breezy enough, but she didn’t meet his gaze. He knew his assessment last night had been right. She was in. She was interested in him, open to seeing what might happen between them. How was he supposed to remember that nothing could while she looked like that?
He held up the bag. “I brought you some goodies.”
“Ooh. Thank you. What did you get?”
He smiled. “Your favorites.”
“Chocolate croissants?” Her smile lit up her face. She was adorable, eager as a small child, though there was nothing childlike about her figure.
“Yup.”
“Come on through.” She led him straight to the kitchen. “You do realize that you just delayed lunch a while?” she asked him with a smile. “I have no self-control when it comes to those things. I have to have them—and I have to have them now. Do you want a drink to go with them?”
Zack nodded. He couldn’t help wishing that he could have the same effect on her. How would it be if she had no self-control when it came to him? If she had to have him and she had to have him now? He bit the inside of his lip. He couldn’t let himself imagine how that might be, or he might end up being the one losing his self-control.
He took a seat at the table and watched as she poured them each a mug of coffee. Well, she could have been pouring orange juice or poison for all the attention he paid. He wasn’t watching her hands but watching her ass. He had to shift in his seat as the interest stirred in his pants. Her ass was big and round and moved in the most inviting ways as she reached two mugs down from a cupboard and poured the coffee into them. He had to stifle a groan when she opened the fridge and bent down to get the milk out of the bottom shelf of the door.
She gave him a puzzled look when she straightened up, and he brought his hand up to his mouth and pretended to yawn. “Sorry. I didn’t get enough sleep last night.”
She nodded. “I know how you feel.”
She brought the coffees to the table and sat down opposite him with a smile. “I’m so terrible. I can’t wait to get some.”
Zack swallowed hard. He would love to get some, too. Unfortunately, she was talking about chocolate croissants while he was thinking about her and her voluptuous body. He shifted in his seat again. He’d been attracted to her since he first met her. If he’d only been attracted to her body, then he would have done something about it by now, but it was more than that. She was fun, sweet, always upbeat, and positive. She lifted his spirits without even knowing it. He was attracted to her as a person, not just as a hot body. Which was a shame, really. His situation meant that he couldn’t allow himself to get close to people. He wanted to get close to Maria in every sense. If he’d only wanted to get some, he would have made his move by now.
She gave a little groan of appreciation as she bit into a croissant. “Oh my God. That’s so good.”
He needed to focus. He couldn’t allow his mind to do what it was doing—couldn’t allow himself to imagine that her words and the little sounds she was making were about anything other than the croissant.
She set it down on the plate and raised an eyebrow at him. “Are you going to have one?”
He nodded and picked one up, taking a big bite in an attempt to divert his attention away from the crumb of chocolate in the corner of her mouth. What he wouldn’t give to lick that crumb away.
She noticed it too and ran her finger over it, swiping the crumb into her mouth
before sucking on the tip of her finger.
Zack took another big bite and closed his eyes while he chewed. He needed to stop it. Needed to get back on a regular footing. He wouldn’t have been able to survive around her for this long if he hadn’t managed to keep his imagination—and his desire in check. Things had shifted last night—gotten away from him—but he needed to put a lid on it or … his next thought sobered him up in a hurry—or he wouldn’t be able to hang out with her anymore. Watching her indulge her passion for chocolate croissants might be torture and make him stiff with desire to indulge in passion with her, but it was infinitely preferable to avoiding her completely, and that was what he’d have to do if he couldn’t keep himself in check.
“Angel said you have the weekend off?” he asked, hoping to get things back on a normal footing.
She nodded. “Laura’s in town, but Smoke’s working away, so she gave me the day off. She knows I enjoy a Saturday to myself sometimes.
“And you don’t mind that you’re not getting it to yourself? I’m not spoiling any plans, am I?”
She shook her head rapidly. “I didn’t have any. Well, I wanted to sleep in this morning, and that didn’t work out. I had planned to maybe go for a hike over at Four Mile this afternoon, but it’s supposed to rain so that wouldn’t have worked out anyway.” She met his gaze. “Sometimes you think you know what’s going to happen, but then everything changes and morphs into something unexpected—and much better.”
His heart raced. It felt like she was talking about him, about them. Was she telling him that she’d thought they were just friends and now—after last night—she knew things were changing between them, and she was happy about it?
He bit the inside of his lip. No. Of course, she wasn’t. And even if she were, things couldn’t change between them; not yet, at least. Still, the way she was looking at him made him wish they could. He smiled. “Well, since you didn’t get to sleep in and you don’t get to hike and there’s not much that’s going to be fun outside today, do you want to come and hang out at my place this afternoon? It strikes me as a good day to watch movies and veg out.”
She smiled. “I’d love to. That’s the kind of day I need, but I always feel too guilty to just laze around by myself.”
He held her gaze for a moment. “You can always call me, you know. I’ll always be up for spending the day lying around with you.”
There was a flicker of something in her eyes. He couldn’t tell if she was shocked or interested. He meant that how it had come out, but at the same time, he couldn’t deny that one part of him was undeniably up at the thought of lying with her.
Chapter Four
When they reached the Boathouse, Zack held the door open for Maria and she stepped inside. Usually, she loved to sit outside on the deck over the water, but it had already started to drizzle, so today she and Zack would have to sit inside.
As the server led them to a booth, she looked around. She’d come out for lunch with Zack often enough. This wasn’t out of the ordinary, but it felt different. She felt as though people were watching them—as though people knew that there was something going on between the two of them, which was ridiculous, because there wasn’t. This morning, she’d been so convinced that he liked her as much as she liked him; now, she wasn’t so sure.
Once they were seated, he smiled at her. “I’m not sure how much I’m going to be able to eat after those croissants.”
She smiled back. “Lightweight! They were just an appetizer.”
He chuckled. “I’m glad they haven’t spoiled your appetite.”
She shook her head. “Not in the slightest. In fact, I’m just getting started.”
The way he looked at her made her heart beat a little faster. It seemed there was an undercurrent to everything they each said today. She didn’t do so well with hidden meanings and innuendo, but she wasn’t sure enough of herself—or of him—to just come out and ask him how he felt, what was happening between the two of them.
The server came to take their orders, and rather than make her wait, Maria ordered a salad. Zack did, too.
“Uh-oh.” Zack was looking over her shoulder.
“What?” she asked. “Is it safe for me to turn around and look?”
He smiled through pursed lips. “I’m sure it’s safe enough for you—it’s me I’m worried about. And you don’t need to turn. She’s almost here.”
“Hey, you two.”
Maria smiled up at Kenzie. “Hey. How are you?”
“I’m good.” She eyed Zack. “What’s going on here?”
Maria shook her head rapidly. “Nothing! I mean, we’re just having lunch. I have the day off. Zack and Luke got back late last night and … and we’re hanging out.” She felt dumb. She didn’t need to explain anything, and the more she tried, the worse she made it.
Kenzie gave Zack a knowing smile. “I wondered how long it’d take you.”
Maria felt the heat in her cheeks. Why did Kenzie always have to be so upfront?
Zack smiled innocently. “How long what would take me?”
Kenzie laughed. “You know damned well what I mean.”
He shrugged. “I don’t have a clue.”
Maria watched his face trying to figure him out. She didn’t like Kenzie putting him on the spot like that, but she wished he’d just come out and say that yes, it’d taken him a long time to ask her out, but now he was finally ready. She started to feel a little uncomfortable. Was he really not interested—or was it more that he didn’t want anyone else to know he was interested? She—and the rest of the town—knew very little about his background, but she knew he was from a wealthy family. Maybe he thought she wasn’t good enough—wasn’t suitable girlfriend material?
Kenzie smiled at her. “I’m going to zip it. Either the two of you are keeping it a secret, or you haven’t figured out what’s going on yet. Either way, I’m going to butt out. I only came over to say hi and to see if you’re coming out tonight. It sounds like most of the gang are.”
“I am. I’m supposed to talk to Angel later.”
“Good.” Kenzie turned to Zack. “And you? Are you bringing her?”
Maria’s heart pounded in her chest as she watched Zack’s face. He smiled at her. “Am I?”
Part of her had hoped that he’d just say yes, but another part of her knew she would have been mad if he had. She’d never been fond of people trying to make her decisions for her. She smiled back. “It’s looking that way.”
Kenzie smirked at them. “I guess I’ll see you both later, then. And if I were you, I’d maybe figure out what you’re playing at—people are bound to ask.”
When she was gone, Maria met Zack’s gaze. She’d always loved his big brown eyes—right now they looked like melted chocolate. He blew out a sigh.
She didn’t know what to say. Part of her wanted to be mad at Kenzie for putting them on the spot like that. Mostly, she was glad that she’d forced the issue.
“What are we playing at?” asked Zack.
She shrugged and gave him a rueful smile. “I was hoping you might tell me. You’re the one who knows all the secrets.”
He nodded. “I do, and unfortunately, I have to keep them for a little while longer. Do you think you can maybe bear with me?”
Her heart was racing in her chest. She shook her head. In many ways he was a mystery. She knew he was a good man, but she knew so very little about him. Was he saying that one day soon he’d tell her his secrets?
His smile faded. “Is that a no?”
She shook her head again rapidly. “I’m not saying I can’t bear with you, but I don’t even know what I’m waiting for. What we’re even talking about here.”
To her surprise, he reached across the table and took hold of her hand. “I think you know I like you.”
It felt like fireworks were exploding in her chest. Yes, she had kind of known, but hearing him say it made her happier than she’d imagined.
He smiled. “I’m hoping you like me, too
—maybe just a little bit?”
She couldn’t keep her smile in. “Maybe.”
He smiled back; that might be the sexiest smile she’d ever seen. “Good, then I’m asking if you think you can give me a little time?”
She nodded. She wanted to ask him what he needed time for, but she didn’t get the chance. The server came back with their food, and as soon as she’d gone, Ben, who owned the place, came over to check on them.
“It’s good to see you both out and about,” he said with a smile. “How are things?”
Zack nodded. “Doing great, thanks. Glad to be back. How about you?”
“Things are going well. We’re gearing up for the busy season. Spring will be here before you know it.”
Maria looked out the window at the rain that was now pouring down. “Looks like it’s already here, if you ask me.”
“You’re right. It is. It’s just me. Most people think of spring as showers and new blooms. I see it more as the early season visitors. When we start getting busy again, that’s what I think of as spring.”
Maria smiled. “That’s what spring’s all about, isn’t it? The beginning of a new cycle, when you get the first flowers that tell you how good a harvest this year will bring. It might look different for each of us, but it’s the same underlying concept. Farmers get lambs, you get tourists.”
Ben laughed. “Yep. That’s about it. What about you? Is the spring bringing something new for you?”
Maria glanced at Zack. She’d like to think there might be a new beginning happening for them, but she was hardly going to say so just yet. She smiled. “I guess I’m like you, Ben. I’m hopeful, but I’m waiting to see what happens.”
~ ~ ~
Zack watched her face as she spoke. He knew she was telling him that she was hopeful about them—but waiting to see what happened. He’d finally told her that he liked her—and asked if she could bear with him for a while. She didn’t understand what he meant; to be fair, he wasn’t sure he knew what he meant. He was getting ahead of himself. He liked her, he wanted to be with her, he knew that much. But he also knew that wasn’t a risk he could take yet.