Amanda told him all about Ricky and how he had left. “It was like I had this thing all planned out and then he goes and ruins it. All that time together just feels like it was wasted. I was supposed to be building towards something and now I'm too old to start again.”
“You're never too old, I don't agree with that thinking at all. I just think that life is about the people you haven't met yet so as long as you keep on going and trying new things you're never going to grow old, not in the sense of stagnation anyway.”
“Probably for the best that this happened now because I don't think I would have had the confidence to go through with it when I was younger.”
“What difference does that make? We did all of the work!”
Amanda gasped and slapped Danny on the arm. He laughed and grabbed her wrists, then kissed her hungrily again.
“I thought you were in love with Matt?” she asked coyly.
“As long as I'm in the same bed as him I can enjoy the same thing that he does,” he said, and the two of them succumbed to kisses. Their bodies melted together and Amanda enjoyed the rough, scratchy feeling of his beard against her soft, supple skin. However, she had to be careful not to fall too hard because she knew that the both of them were into each other. Yet it would have been so easy and she felt a strong pull to both of them. Matt was fun and upbeat and she got the feeling that life with him would always be an adventure, whereas Danny was more grounded and brooding, but he would be more reliable as well. And yet she could have no lasting relationship with either one. Danny was too much in love with Matt to entertain any thought of starting something with someone else, and Matt had made it clear that he wasn't interested in anything serious at all. So Amanda had to be careful, and not let her emotions ruin her life.
Chapter 3
Eventually Matt woke up and the three of them kissed and enjoyed the early morning haze of each other, reminding themselves of the passion they had tasted the night before. Amanda watched the two men kiss while they rested their heads against her breasts, and ran her fingers through their hair as they did so.
“I don't know about you, but it's a beautiful day and I'm tired of being inside,” Matt said as he rose from the bed and gathered up the clothes that had been tossed carelessly around the room the night before. He threw Danny's clothes towards the bed as well, and soon enough the three people were no longer naked. Matt stood in the doorway and there was a strange moment that cloaked all of them. They glanced at each other, and Amanda in particular felt a great swell of awkwardness inside. She smiled sheepishly at Matt, and then at Danny. Danny reached over and squeezed her hand, and then rose himself.
“Are you going to join us?” he asked in a halting voice. Amanda almost agreed to do so but she could see in his eyes that he wanted to spend some time with Matt by himself, so she told them that she was going to hang around her home for a while, but that she would join them later. When they left she walked out to the front door and watched them leave. Matt's voice was loud and it traveled back to her ears, and Danny looked at him with utter devotion. It was a sad thing to give your heart to someone like that, she knew the pain all too well and she hoped that Danny knew what he was doing. With a sigh she went inside and enjoyed a cool shower, closing her eyes and thinking about all of the sweet sensations the previous night had brought. As she pulled the fluffy red towel from the rail and swept the water from her cleansed skin, she wondered if she would enjoy such an experience again. It wasn't a love that was going to last a lifetime but at least it made her feel alive and it was fun, which was a big change in her life since Ricky had left.
The morning passed swiftly and just after lunch she put on a bikini and made her way down to the beach. The sea was glittering and blue, and the world had a freshness about it, as if it were the first day of spring. She smiled and waved to people as they passed each other on the slope that descended to the beach. The sand swept around her ankles as she stepped onto the beach. She placed her hands on her hips and looked at the world around her, seeing its beauty for the first time. The hills were rocky but in parts they sprouted bits of green, the sand was golden and the sea was a deep blue. It was idyllic, and she sighed with contentment. Ricky could have the world, for she couldn't imagine that any place was as beautiful as the scene she was looking at.
Her feet sunk into the soft sand as she made her way along the beach until she saw her two men out at sea. This time they were leading a class together. It looked to be a more advanced one than the lessons she had been given. Matt and Danny were at the head, leading the rest of the surfers over the sea and the waves. The ones behind them were in a snaking line, mimicking the movements of their teachers. Amanda watched them for a while and then made her way down to where they would leave the sea, and emerge back on land.
Her lungs filled with the fresh, salty air, and the world around her was alive with the sounds of happy people. When the surfers emerged they were all puffing and drenched, the tight wet suits clinging to their bodies, not leaving any hint of mystery. All the students departed and ran back to plant their boards in the sand, while Danny and Matt were laughing. They ran their fingers through their hair, combing through the foamy water that cloyingly stuck to their heads.
“Couldn't stay away?” Matt said with a cheeky grin.
“Just thought I'd come down and see if you were up for a drink later,” Amanda said.
“You need another lesson first, I think, you want to take her out or shall I?”
“I think it's your turn today,” Danny said, glancing between them both. Amanda thought she detected a hint of jealousy in his voice.
“I don't...” she began, but Danny was already walking off and Matt handed her a board. He pulled her arm and she soon found herself waist-deep in the sea. The water splashed around her ankles and she felt her steps grow heavier as she waded through the water.
“Get on the board and show me what you learned,” Matt said. Amanda tried to remember everything that Danny had taught her but it was still all so new to her. The board wobbled underneath her as she pushed herself onto it. The water seemed a harsh mistress as she slowly rose, stretching her arms out by her side, trying to maintain a low center of gravity.
“You've got good posture, and damn your ass looks good in that pose,” Matt said, standing upright on his own board with his arms folded. Amanda laughed nervously but she shed tried her best not to lose concentration. Her eyes were glued to her feet. The board seemed so narrow and the water was lapping at the sides, she could feel the water slip around the surface of the board but she was standing, she was upright.
“Now let's go,” Matt said and he let the current take him away, going out to where the waves crashed down in their foamy walls. Amanda followed him, gulping as they approached the waves. The shore was getting further and further away.
“Last night was really fun,” Matt said.
“Yeah, do you do this with a lot of your students?” she asked.
“Only the hot ones,” Matt replied.
“Oh.” He was blunt, but in some ways that was refreshing.
“I figure that I'm only on this earth for a short time and I might as well get as much as I can while I'm here. And if they're up for it then I can't be turning them away. Don't want to end up on my deathbed with any regrets. Now,” he said, changing the subject, “the waves here are going to be gentle at first so don't get scared. Just watch them coming and adjust your balance. Feel them lift you up. It's like you're floating. It's fucking spiritual.”
Amanda nodded and watched the turquoise swell approach.
“Are you sure I'm ready for this? I was only working on my balance with Danny last time.”
“Ah don't worry about it, he always takes things too slow. Gotta dive right in, that's the best way to learn. Look out, it's coming!”
Amanda had to force herself to keep her eyes open as the gentle wave came underneath and lifted her up. She almost toppled over, but managed to flail her arms about and keep her balance.
“See, you did it!” Matt exclaimed. The delight was plain to see over Amanda's face and a wide grin appeared.
“Now let's go for something a little bigger,” he said, winking, and looked out to the horizon where a foamy crest rose and crashed down.
“What you're going to want to do is angle your body so that you ride with the wave, not through it. You want to see it as an ally not as an enemy. Watch me,” he said, and went off to surf over the wave perfectly. When he came back he stopped ahead of her.
“I really don't think I'm ready for that,” she said.
“Just give it a try, we're still pretty close to shore and I'm here so nothing bad is going to happen,” he said, and continued to cajole her until she found herself moving towards the blue wave, which seemed to be enormous, towering in front of her like some swirling behemoth, the very force of nature threatening to come down and swarm over her, she could imagine the horrid death that it promised. The very thought of her mouth filling up with water petrified her and Amanda's entire body trembled with fear. A silent scream would fail to pierce the watery depths and she would be pulled down under the surface, and Matt wouldn't know where to being to look. These thoughts were unable to be quelled inside her and she was finding it difficult to keep her balance. Surfing, as Danny would have told her if it had been him on the water, required a certain level of concentration and it wasn't just about balance on the board but balance within as well. Unfortunately for Amanda, she had neither, and when the rising wave undulated towards her she saw her worst fears realized and she had no chance of holding on.
From the shore she appeared to be nothing but a dot, a blemish on nature, and the wave was just a wave. But in that moment, when up close with it, the wave was a monster, and it encapsulated the power of nature. Her lower lip trembled and she knew that she was going to go over before it even happened. Time seemed to slow as the water rose, as if allowing her a moment to reflect on her stupidity, then it crashed down and she felt herself encased in the cool blue wave. The drops slammed into her, and it was a harder impact than she first realized. Her body stung as though a thousand needles had barreled into her at once. She was flung from the board unceremoniously. Where it went she did not know, but it spun away and was lost to the water. Disoriented, Amanda saw the sky for a moment before that too disappeared. Suddenly there was no air and her eyes were stinging. Her mouth was full and her nightmare had become a reality. She tried to scream but it was futile. She flailed her arms but it seemed like it was doing no good. She could swim, but she had no idea in which direction she should go, and she could see herself sinking to the bottom of the ocean floor.
But then she felt two strong arms catch her. They curled under her arms and dragged her back to the surface. She heaved and coughed and spluttered as she saw the warm rays of the sun again, and wanted to cry in relief. Her heart was beating rapidly as she clung onto her savior. Foamy water spilled out of her guts and she blinked away the stinging drops.
“That was a close call, but damn, when you go down you go down well! I haven't seen anything like that for a long time. You were jumping around all over the place!” Matt said. Amanda's mood instantly turned from relief to anger. She saw his grinning face and was incensed that he had allowed her to take such a dangerous risk. Summoning what little strength she had, she curled her fists into tight balls and beat against his chest furiously.
“Steady on love,” he said, catching her hands and stopping the onslaught, “It was only a bit of harmless fun. I told you that you weren't in danger so don't go hitting me like this. And a thank you wouldn't have gone amiss either, I did save you after all.”
“Fuck you,” Amanda spat. Matt just laughed and pulled her close to him, planting a firm kiss on her lips. She shook him away and stared at him incredulously, then, to her horror, she found herself kissing him back. There was something so irresistible and so frustrating about this blonde Adonis that looked as though he was a prince of Atlantis. It was maddening, but she could not help herself, and she only stopped kissing him when he pushed her away, swimming back to recover the surfboard that she had lost. She didn't only hate him for her own sake but also for Danny's, for she knew how much Matt went to him and although the three of them had a unique relationship she still felt like she was betraying Danny somehow.
Matt came back and with the board and the two of them began the return journey.
“We can stay out here if you like,” Matt said.
“No, I've had enough for the day,” Amanda replied, “and by the way, what is your deal anyway, like, you have Danny out there waiting for you, why try that on with me? Is he not good enough or something?”
“Look love, you don't know what you're going on about okay? Danny is great, I love him more than I've loved anyone else, but a long time ago I came to an understanding of who I was and I know my flaws. I've been honest with him from the start and if he wants to keep hanging around then great, but neither he nor you have any right to be angry with me. I don't lie to him, I don't play games, I am up front with everyone I start something with, including you, so maybe it's not me that you're angry with, maybe it's yourself.”
“Why would I be angry with myself?” she said bitterly, fearing that Matt had cut to the heart of the matter with his incisive observations, and once again she found herself growing annoyed with him.
“I don't know love, that's what you have to ask yourself, but you came down that beach yesterday for a reason, and you fucked the two of us, maybe for the same reason as well. If you've got your own problems then maybe you should try and sort them out before you start throwing insults at me,” he said as they reached the shore. He picked up his board and ran over the sand. But Danny was there, waiting for them. He'd seen everything from the vantage point of the beach and he was angry.
“What the hell were you thinking taking her out there?! She wasn't ready and you knew that. I can't believe you put her in danger like that,” Danny yelled, grabbing Matt by the wrist and pulling him back. Matt shrugged him off.
“Leave it out mate, she's a grown woman she didn't have to do it if she didn't want to. Besides, I was out there, I wasn't going to let anything happen. You're always too soft on these people. If they want to surf then let them surf, they're either going to love it or they can stop wasting their time,” he said, and ran away. Danny glared at him but he turned to Amanda and helped her out of the water. Her lungs were still on fire and she was coughing profusely.
“Are you alright?” Danny asked.
“Yeah, I'm fine, it was just a shock, that's all.”
“He shouldn't have taken you out there. I'm sorry.”
“No, he's right, I didn't have to do it. It's my own fault really.”
“Come on, I'll take you back,” he said, and left the board in the sand.
Chapter 4
Amanda and Danny returned to Amanda's place on the top of the hill. The sun was at its highest peak in the sky and it was a glorious day, but then again all the days were glorious. Amanda changed from her bikini into something that covered a little more flesh, while Danny sat in the front room. He was wearing some long shorts and had on a shirt, but only a couple of buttons were clasped, showing off his masculine, hairy chest. Amanda continually found her eyes drifting down to his chest and she felt flustered around him. These two men, the two surfers, had caused so much chaos in her life already, and although it caused some tumultuous feelings in her heart, she was somewhat glad as it made a change from her melancholic moping. Once she had changed, she ghosted into the front room and took a seat next to Danny, curling her legs underneath her body and leaning forward slightly, letting her cleavage tease him.
“He's so infuriating sometimes. I just want to kill him. But then I can't because I love him. Why do we always love the people that are bad for us?” he said. Amanda drew back and brushed an errant strand of hair behind her ear. She licked her lips and spoke in a soft voice.
“Sometimes it's a personal defect, like maybe you don't think y
ou deserve someone good, or that you need to punish yourself. I think that's what I was doing with Ricky. I could tell for a long time that it wasn't going to work. Ultimately we wanted different things and maybe I've been too harsh for the way things ended but with Matt, I don't know...maybe it's just because he's always around. Have you never thought about moving or having some new surroundings? It might change if you took yourself away from him.”
“No, it's hopeless. I've tried to move on. Tried to date other men but I keep going back to him. And I can't leave this place. It's my home. It's the only place I've known. I'm not like Matt. He could go anywhere and call it home but I need something more. I need to feel like I belong to a place and I just can't uproot my whole life and begin again. It's like your ex I guess, maybe we're just the type of people that are always going to get left behind.” He looked up and smiled weakly at her. His eyes were soulful and in them she saw reflected all of the pain that she felt. Her hand fell and she stroked his cheek, then his arm, and leaned in more closely.
“That doesn't mean we can't find solace in each other,” she said, and leaned her head in ever more closely. Her hair fell forward and she could feel Danny's hot, short breaths. Their eyes met and his strong arms reached around her curves, gripping her hips tightly and pulling her leg across his. They adjusted to each other as their bodies melted and merged, their lips met in a fiery, blazing kiss and their tongues danced with each other. She felt his scratchy stubble prick at her soft, supple skin, and it made her tingle. His hands squeezed her and with one big move he pulled her over so that she was straddling him. In between her thighs she felt his hardness and he kissed her with so much passion that it bordered on anger, and in her heart she knew that all of these kisses were meant for Matt. But that didn't mean she enjoyed them any less.
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