My next question, however, was so unexpected that he almost lost his words. “You want me to do it again?”
“Do it again?”
“Okay,” I said, taking his answer as an invitation rather than the plea for understanding it was. This time I opened his mouth with my lips and slid my tongue inside.
“Right, you made your point, okay?” Mihail said, and pushed me away, but I had other ideas and shook my head with barely a smile on my lips. “Apparently, not well enough.” I leaned in for another kiss. The moment my tongue stroked his again, Mihail gasped a little, and for a long, aching minute he kissed me back. When he pulled back once more, Mihail asked pleadingly. “Katya, what is this?”
Trying for humorous, rather than serious, I said. “And you say I’m oblivious. Come on!” I pushed and tugged him back to the bed and sat down, placing my hand on his hip. He shoved it away with an annoyed gesture. “Seriously, what’s going on?”
I just smiled up at him and replaced my hand on his hip, tracing the waistband of his boxers with a delicate finger. The breath Mihail sucked in was unsteady and his words showed how insecure he felt. “If this is a game to you, it’s not funny at all.”
“I am not playing.” My words were said with such conviction that even Mihail fell silent for a moment.
“Then why are you doing this?” Good question, but the answer wasn’t very clear even to me at this particular moment. Later, I thought about the man, who was my best friend, my brother, my protector, the only person in the world who understood me and loved me no matter what. Mihail was handsome, gentle, funny – all a woman may ever desire, but I have never considered him in a romantic way. I was so used to him being around that I thought of him as part of myself, and a very important part of that. The fact, that the rest of my family was looking at him in the same way, had strengthened my conviction that Mihail and I were one soul in two bodies.
To say that what was happening now was unexpected was to say too little. But I wanted it to happen, I really did. Who better than Mihail to unveil for me the mystery of sex? I loved him, I believed in him and I knew that he will never hurt me. So, here I was almost forced him into sex, in the sweetest way possible.
“Don’t you get it?” I demanded. “I want this. I want you. And if what you said before meant that you simply thought about me occasionally, out of idle curiosity, then you’d better say it right now.”
“Katya,” he said, “You know that we can’t do this…”
I leaned in and kissed him softly on the mouth. “Yes, we can, if we both want it.” I felt his muscles jump under my hands, when I tugged the waistband of his boxers down. Surprisingly, he did not move. His eyes, however, were digging holes into mine, speaking volumes about what he thought about my actions. He wanted me, but he was afraid of the consequences; he was ready to give in, but only because I was taking the lead; his hands were burning to touch, but he was determined to let me do the work, and stop the moment I wanted to. Oh, God, how much I loved this man!
I made him lie down on the bed and took his boxers all the way down. The flickering light of the fire was more than enough for me to see his erection curving towards his belly. My determination to make this happen gave me the courage to lean down and kiss it. Mihail gasped. I licked my lips and kissed the wet tip of his cock once again.
“You don’t have to do this…” I ran my tongue up the underside of his scalding cock and Mihail’s sentence finished in a whisper. He moaned breathlessly and his hips were arching more urgently towards my mouth. This was all new to me, to say that I had no idea what I was doing was an understatement, but he was obviously enjoying it and that was enough for me.
“I want to.” The words were spelled right on his cock and when I got my mouth back on it, Mihail’s dick was impossibly hard. Thank God, he was not looking, because I barely managed to suppress a smile. He was so easy.
When my girlfriends spoke about sex and the way men responded to it, I always thought that they exaggerated a little, but here I was with Mihail’s cock in my mouth and him a slave to my every desire. At this point I was sure that he would do anything I wanted. I always imagined it as disgusting, but the taste I was getting was not so bad, and the little helpless thrusts Mihail was making every time I hit a particularly hot spot, made the whole thing even sweeter. At more than one point I almost lifted my head to tell him how delicious he was, but then I thought better of it, considering his ego. It didn’t need any additional boost and then, in order to do so, I would have to stop, and that wasn’t something I wanted. My own body was trembling with anticipation and I was burning hot in places I never considered sexual before. The pleasure I was giving Mihail was my pleasure and his response was making the experience even more sensual.
Looking back, I see how his passiveness made my first sexual experience unique and wonderful to me. The horror tales of my friends first times were very vivid in my mind, and I knew only too well how much it cost him to stay still and let me do whatever I wanted with his body. Too quickly for my liking, Mihail was reaching the point of no return. I could sense it in the way his body was tense, his breathing quickened and his hands pulling at the sheets. “Katya!” he whispered as a warning. I hummed in recognition, but continue to suck on his cock’s head. When his hand grabbed my shoulder with an urgency, I lifted my head and looked him right in the eyes. My fingers were gently playing with his tight balls and my other hand was slowly pumping his hard dick. With a cracked cry of my name, he came in my hand.
His eyes never closed and mine remained fixed on his long after it was all over. Mihail gently swiped his hand through my hair and tried to tug me up. The shake of my head left him confused, but I already knew that what happened wasn’t about me.
“It’s okay, I’m okay, actually, we’re okay,” I said in a hurry, rousing myself from the bed and running to the bathroom. I heard him calling after me, but there was nothing I could say at the moment. Life was changing for me, I was changed…
***
Back in the present I asked carefully: “So, he is not willing to…?” – my question was barely there and Ivan had difficulty hearing it, seeing how he was looking at me, but it was probably written all over my face. “No, he is not willing.”
“Then, what is the council going to change its decision?”
“According to my father, that is not going to happen. You know only too well, that Mihail was given the chance to choose his own wife, but he never took it. Now they are making the decision for him and he is expected to obey, as everybody else.” I knew all that, but after five years I thought that either Mihail found the love of his life or was made to marry some suitable girl. It never occurred to me that that girl will be me.
Angry and helpless, I asked “Are they even going to ask me, if I agree?”
“Oh, they are going to ask, but your answer will be of little to no importance to them.”
I knew that. Actually, this particular matter was one of the reasons why I left in the first place, but even after all those years, I still hoped for the impossible – to be left free to choose my own way of life. The smile I gave to Ivan, after that last comment was a sad one, full of broken dreams and fear of what the future was holding for me.
“Ok”, I said. “Let’s go! I suppose, I was preparing for this moment my whole life, and now is not the time for me to show fear.” Ivan said nothing about my comment, but the hug he gave me spoke volumes about the way he was feeling. You may say that the modern emancipation was gaining ground even in our close society, and many of the young ones were fighting against old rules and power.
Chapter Three
When the enormous ancient castle of my family appeared before my eyes, I was filled with such a strong emotion that the car almost went in the ditch. I loved that house and what it represented – history, traditions, family, love, fidelity… Pride wasn’t foreign to me and I always felt it strongly when thinking of the long and glorious past of my clan.
I parked the car a
nd opened the truck to take out the single bag I took with me. I was aware that I was staying, but this simple and may be the last act of defiance, was making me feel somehow in control of the situation.
“Katya!” the voice of my mother was like a calming breeze on my strained nerves and I was finally able to genuinely smile and be happy to be back home.
“Mother, I am so happy to see you. Sorry, for not calling more often and…” As usual, my mother was quick to make my babbling stop, by giving me a loving hug and tugging me inside the house.
“It doesn’t matter, you are home now and I couldn’t be happier. Come, your father is expecting you.” At that some of my previous concerns returned and looking in my mother’s eyes, I asked her. “Are they really going to make me marry Mihail?” Something like wonder, mixed with surprise, went through her face and I had the odd feeling that there were too many things I knew nothing about.
“Why, isn’t that a wonderful idea? You both are single, and obviously have no intention to marry someone else. You are best friends, who have very similar ideas about life. Mihail and you are perfect for each other!”
“WHAT ABOUT LOVE?” The question sounded ridiculous even to me, but honestly, my very nature was screaming for me to do something. I was going to fight this in every possible way and with all the available weapons, and if that meant to relay on my mother’s weak side, so be it. “Aren’t you at least ask me if I love him, before making me marry him?” The look in my mother’s eyes was different now, she already started to consider the possibility for me to be in love with someone else. Her next question simply confirmed my suspicions.
“Is there someone else?” Truth be told, lying wasn’t one of my strongest sides. “No, there is no one, but I do not want someone else to tell me how to live my life. Mother, please talk to dad, make him change his mind.”
“Your father never wanted this for you, and you know it. He let you go, never forced you to return and fought for you in front of the clan’s council, but now there is nothing he can do. Mihail is not marrying; he doesn’t even have a girlfriend. You are 26 and are still single, with no boyfriend to excuse that…”
“Is that so? My cousins are more than 30 years old, but left alone, just because they are men, while I have to marry now, only because I am female.”
“Katya, you know the rules of this clan. You have studied them and lived by them for more than 20 years. Don’t tell me that five years spent out of here were enough for you to forget who you are.” The voice of my father was calm and full of love, as always. The conviction with which he spoke, however, told me that there was little I could do to change his mind.
“Hi, dad.” His strong hands embraced me with the same love he had always shown me. I was home and despite the fact that I wasn’t ready to admit it even to myself, I was happy to be here. “I’m happy to see you.”
“Listen Katya, the council made a decision for the good of the clan. Mihail was given the time to choose his own wife and he didn’t do it. You, on the other hand, are the perfect one for him and the clan.” At my attempt to speak, my father raised his hand and successfully closed my mouth. “You love him, maybe not as husband, but nevertheless, you love him, right?” At such direct question I could only answer with a Yes. “Okay, he also loves you. Next, you are intelligent, prepared in all the matters that are important to our clan, you love the clan and care for it. Third, you left and lived among other people, and learned their way of life. The clan needs to change, Katya, and you are the only one, who can show us the right way to do so.”
My father was looking urgently at me, holding my hands and pleading me to say yes. He was giving me a way out, an excuse to stay without feeling inferior to others. “Please, do this for us. I never asked you why you left in the first place, but I believe in you and know that whatever it was, you made the right choice. Now, it is time for you to make another right choice, this time for your clan and family.”
By the time my father said his last words, tears were running freely down my cheeks. He was right, I loved my people and my life outside the clan had taught me a lot of useful things about how to live among the humans. As Mihail’s wife, I would have the power to change things in the clan and make things easier for the future generations. However, as tempting as this idea was, the thought of facing Mihail was making me sick. It wasn’t easy to be a woman, but to be a female werewolf came with even more restrictions. Fortunately, our clan was guided by a council and not by the will of a single Alfa. Actually, in some cases even the Alfa was forced to obey the will of the council, for the good of the whole clan.
My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of running feet and for a moment I was happy to be saved from having to answer my father, until I turned around and found myself face to face with the most magnificent wolf I have ever seen. He was big, dressed in a dark gray fur that looked and felt (that I knew from experience) soft and hard all at once. Oh, there was no doubt in any one’s mind that Mihail was the most beautiful wolf in the clan, and as much as I wanted to be strong and firm in my beliefs, the very sight of him was enough to make me consider marrying him.
I always thought little of women, who dropped everything they loved and fought for their whole lives, in the feet of the first handsome devil who said I love you. Funny, isn’t it, for years I was convincing myself that I’m the strong and confident woman I wanted to be, and now in the course of the few instances I was back to being the scared young girl, madly in love with her best friend. The things we do for love!
At this precise moment, I realized that I loved Mihail, not just like a friend, but much deeper and stronger. I believe our friendship made that unexpected love even stronger, by giving me the chance to know him, understand him, believe in him and only then love him. When I run, I run from fear to be refused to love him this way. The night and the fire made it easy for me to forget all the reasons why I shouldn’t have acted the way I did, but after the orgasmic bliss I was only too well aware of the many possible outcomes. Oh, you are right to think it – the strong, confident woman runs, because she was afraid to be repelled.
The time to face my fear has come. The wolf reached us and stood proudly, looking directly into my eyes. The transformation took him less than a minute and here he was in all his glory.
“Mihail.”
“Katya!” After my insecure greeting, his sounded as a thunder in the silent night. I was probably exaggerating, but my fast beating heart was leaving me little brain function. “Please, excuse us.” He asked my parents politely and took my hand, leading me towards the library’s open door. Once inside, he closed the door and did the same with the open window.
During all this, I was standing where he left me near the door, following his every movement. I wasn’t a prude, being a werewolf and all, but seeing him almost naked, acting as if it didn’t bother him at all, was too much for my shaken nerves. Every movement was emphasizing his muscles and providing new material for my imagination. The one time I had the opportunity to really touch and taste his body wasn’t enough to satisfy the hunger a felt burning deep inside me.
Too lost in my thoughts I didn’t see him looking back at me, until it becomes obvious that he knew what I was thinking about. The mocking smile that appeared on his lips was a proof of that.
“Do you still like what you are seeing?” Damn him and his quick intelligence. He knew me too well for me to lie or change the subject.
“You know I do.”
At that Mihail’s eyes hardened and he took a deep breath. I recognized his serious expression and prepared myself for what was going to happen next.
“You are going to marry me without making any difficulty. You will accept gracefully the decision of the clan’s council and agree to all they ask you to.”
He must be joking, right!? “What are you talking about? Are you out of your mind? Ivan said you were against this decision, why are you changing things now?”
“Because of you!”
“Me? I m
ade you change your mind?”
“Yes, it is very simple actually. Until I saw you again, I was ready to let you go, and force the council to retreat its decision, but the moment you looked at me with those big brown eyes, full of love, I knew there was not a chance of letting you go again.”
“I… I am not…” It was pointless; we both knew I was lying. “So, what then, you are going to simply…”
“Don’t say it.” He interrupted my babbling. “You are more than what I could ever want in my life. I know you love me; don’t you see how much I love you back?”
“But I left…”
“You were scared and I was your only friend. With me out of the picture you had no one to turn to. I’m so sorry I didn’t break that bathroom door back then and left you all alone in there. My only excuse is that I was just as confused as you. For a while I felt differently towards you, but I wasn’t prepared to experience what you gave me that night. When you ran and refused to speak to me, I thought that it was all in my head and you never felt the same.”
“Damn you, why do you have to be so understanding? You make it so difficult to be mad at you.” He won, or probably we both were winners in this ridiculous situation. The look he shot me could be easily identified as a bitch face, but the kiss he gave me after that was all I have ever wanted. The moment his lips met mine, my whole body felt an electric charge passing through it. Slowly my head fell on his shoulder, his hands gently cradling my body close to his. No I love you’s were said, but I have never felt so loved in my life.
We stayed quiet, my hand lying over his heart as he held me in his arms, content to run his hand up and down my back and press an occasional kiss to my temple. During those few minutes we were getting to know one another once again, saying all that was unsaid through small touches and soft kisses.
“Thanks, Mihail.” The words were softly spoken, but packed with heavy feelings. He kissed my forehead and murmured a quiet, “Thanks to you.”
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