‘Fighting?’ The dreadful claustrophobia of the crush on tournament day grew fresh in Rowenna’s mind. The shoves and crushing bodies. The way her breath had been forced from her lungs. The helplessness as she had sprawled in the mud, unable to stand, believing she might die there. Leaving home had been unwise when the city was still teeming with discontent.
‘John Gisbourne is outside the city, demanding to be admitted. This could be my chance to earn my spurs, especially as that dolt Robbie has passed up his.’
Rowenna ignored the insult to Robbie, feeling it well earned.
‘Will you take these to Robbie?’ Cecil held out the bow and bag.
Rowenna wrapped her arms tightly around herself, her lip twisting in anxiety. She didn’t want to subject herself to that again. But Robbie...
Robbie had saved her from that horror. He had come to her aid, as he had so many times before, and she loved him as truly as ever. Now he was somewhere in the city, heartbroken and exiled from the family he had thought belonged to him. Alone and friendless.
She could not—would not—leave him to endure his misery alone.
‘Tell me where he is,’ she said, relieving Cecil of his burden.
* * *
The inn was close to Bootham Gate, the very direction where the loudest cries and thickest crowds were. With difficulty she squeezed her way through the mass of people, unable to work out if they were trying to aid or prevent the former Mayor and his mob entering the city. The door was closed and she hammered on it until her fist smarted and a frightened-looking boy admitted her.
‘Is there a Master Danby here?’ she asked breathlessly. ‘I’m seeking my cousin.’
‘Do I still own that name or connection?’ Robbie was sitting in the darkest corner, arms folded around him over the red robe he had worn during his ceremony, and a wine bottle on the table in front of him. He looked weary, but his eyes crinkled as they met hers. ‘How did you find me?’
‘Cecil told me where you’d be.’ She held out the bow and bag. Robbie made no move to take them, but his face twisted.
‘You’ve been with Cecil?’ His face collapsed. His fingers closed around the neck of the wine bottle, but he obviously thought better of it as he set it down and stood.
‘Why did you come here, Ro? Are you here to announce an engagement to our friend M-Master Hugone and now you’re entering Sir John’s household? Or to judge me and reject me?’
‘Stop being so ridiculous!’ she snapped. She heard the very real anxiety in his voice and softened hers. ‘You know I don’t care for Cecil. I only said I’d ask Lady Isobel because I can see no other future beyond marrying Geoffrey. I came because I was worried about you. Everyone is. Will you come home with me?’
‘Roger warned me not to reveal the truth and I defied him. I’m not sure I will be welcome.’
‘You will be. I’ve seen him.’ She folded her arms. ‘But what do you care what he thinks? You always told me that you never intended to walk in his shadow and you’ve proved it. Turn your back on everything if you must, but know that you are not only leaving behind your parents. There are others who love you and would miss you.’
She crossed the room in a rush, desperate to throw herself into his arms and comfort him, to take comfort herself from the ordeal of her journey. Robbie held up a hand to ward her off and she stopped abruptly. The other occupants of the tavern, who had been drinking or clamouring round the window to watch events in the street, were now watching them with open interest. Robbie glanced towards the boy who had admitted Rowenna. ‘Do you have a room upstairs? I want privacy.’
The boy pointed upward. Exactly where an upstairs room would be. Despite the situation, Rowenna grinned. Robbie met her eyes and the tightness around his mouth and eyes softened a little. He gestured and she led the way up the staircase into a small chamber at the front of the building sparsely furnished with a wobbly table, three-legged stool and a bed. She ignored the bed because the sight of it set every nerve in her being colliding with an insufferable intensity.
They faced each other, an arm’s length apart, watchful and tense. A rhythmic pounding filled Rowenna’s ears, mingling with the sound of thumping from the street below. She wanted to scream and rail at him, but reined in her fury.
‘How long have you known?’ Rowenna asked quietly.
Robbie clenched his jaw. ‘Since the night Roger told me I was to be Sir John’s squire. He was waiting for me when I went home after leaving you.’
Rowenna’s mouth fell open. So much longer than she had imagined. She glared at him. ‘All these years you’ve been hurting and you didn’t tell me. You kept something so big from me. Don’t you trust me enough to share your troubles with me?’
Robbie was beside her before she had finished speaking. He clasped her shoulders, holding her firmly, his eyes boring into her. ‘I wanted to, believe me, but I swore to tell no one. Even if I had been allowed, it didn’t seem the sort of news to share in a letter.’
Rowenna folded her arms, though the impulse to wrap them around Robbie was unbearably strong. ‘No,’ she said drily. ‘Much better that I find out like that, in front of half the population of York and everyone who matters to us both.’
He looked guilty and a flicker of the same emotion ignited in Rowenna. When he had admitted it, instead of telling him it did not matter to her, she had shouted and run from him. No wonder he had not told her before, when she proved how unworthy she was of his trust.
‘It wasn’t like you at all to be so rash.’
‘I’m not sure what I am like any longer,’ Robbie said. He took a long swig from the bottle. ‘I think now is the time I start to find out.’
Rowenna tugged the bottle from his hand. Surprisingly, it was almost full. ‘How many bottles have you gone through?’
‘This is the first. I planned to get very drunk, but I couldn’t bring myself to. I’m not sure what is happening out there, but it sounds dangerous. A muddled head is not wise.’
‘Oh, you do still have some sense! That’s good to know.’
She swallowed a large mouthful, eyeing him defiantly. Robbie reached for the bottle, but instead of drinking, he set it on the table.
‘Tell me why you did it. You know how hard my father’s life is and how my prospects have suffered in consequence. We are ostracised by half of York.’ The anger that Rowenna had been suppressing burst out. ‘Why damn yourself to the same fate as me?’
‘I only damn myself if the people I care about reject me in consequence,’ he said grimly.
Rowenna put her hand to Robbie’s chest as she had done when examining his bruise at the bohort. When she touched him the muscles in his neck tightened and he closed his eyes. His heart was beating fast through the fine wool tunic. He pinned her hand in place with his and stood, head bowed and silent for a long time. Rowenna waited patiently, sensing that to push him would see him close up completely.
He came back from wherever he had been travelling in his mind and his eyes were clearer and brighter than they had been before.
‘While Mary chose to accept me, I was bound by my honour to become her husband. She will not ally herself to a bastard, no matter how many sapphires I could throw into her lap.’
‘So you wilfully ruined your future in the knowledge she would refuse you?’
He gave her a slight smile that caused her legs to quiver.
‘And now I am free and my future is what I will make it.’ His voice did not waver and his eyes shone with a certainty that sharpened them. He had not acted impulsively after all. But then, Robbie rarely did.
‘And was it worth it?’ Rowenna asked. Her heart sang. Free. No longer Mary’s.
‘I d-don’t know. I know you intend to m-marry w-well and I’m not—’
The muscles in his throat were tightening and she could see how much he was struggling. He broke off, but his meaning
was clear.
Rowenna’s mouth fell open in astonishment. ‘I care nothing for your status or that of your true father. I want you, whoever and whatever you are.’
Robbie gave her a look of pure anguish.
‘You ran from me.’
‘It was a shock. You destroyed everything you had with one word. I was angry at such stupidity. Furious you hadn’t trusted me and told me years ago. You can’t say that is unreasonable.’
He looked away.
‘Nevertheless, it broke my heart.’
Rowenna could no longer deny her desire to hold him. She moved towards Robbie, arms opening, and found him halfway towards her. They fell on each other, clutching tight and staggering with the force of their meeting. Somehow they found the bed and sank on to the mattress, hands spreading out to grasp and pull at each other.
Robbie’s mouth closed over hers and she tasted the wine they had shared. He began to move his lips against hers, steadily and slowly. There was no hesitancy in his kiss this time, only fervour and a thoroughness that left her trembling and light-headed. She craned her head, hungrily parting her lips and brushing her tongue against the tip of his. His hand slid down, moving slowly with firm strokes over Rowenna’s breasts and belly. His tongue eased inside her mouth, hot and deft. She thrust hers against it, revelling in the delicious taste of him. Her hand crept to his arm again. She could feel muscles beneath the thick tunic and her fingers began to curl round them.
She pulled at him, hands roving over the firm muscles in his back, pressing her body to his as she gave in to the desire she had mastered for so long. He turned his head as she moved so that he was still filling her vision. He leaned close to nibble at her ear. His breath, dancing lightly over her cheeks brought flames to them.
She pushed herself closer, tilting her hips up and feeling the excitement begin to rise inside her. A moan like that of an animal escaped Robbie as she scraped against his crotch. He bent over her, his eyes wide with the same fierce desire she burned with and ran his thumb from her ear to the hollow of her throat, setting her alight within. He gave a soft growl and slid his hand lower until it rested in the crook of her bent knee. She grabbed his buttocks and tugged so he settled himself between her legs.
His body stiffened, the arms that had held her so tenderly becoming stone.
‘Rowenna, no.’
She unwrapped herself from around Robbie and looked into his eyes.
‘I thought you wanted me as much as I want you.’
She ran her hands along his forearms. Excitement rose in her belly as her fingers brushed over the fine hairs and well-shaped muscles, and she saw the tightening of his throat. He took her face between his hands and brought it close to hers.
‘Being with you and not touching you is torture. I want you so much it turns my limbs to straw at the very idea. But not here, not like this.’
Rowenna glanced towards the window. The sun was dipping below the houses opposite, casting an orange light over the room. He was, as always, more sensible than she was.
She sat up and straightened her dress, relacing the ribbon that Robbie had pulled free, aware how close to surrender she was. She had craved Robbie’s touch and yearned for his love for so long, but if they did what they were close to doing, she would be ruined. She would have proved to Lady Stick she was the common, worthless chit she had tried so hard not to be.
‘I should go home. Mother will be wondering where I am.’
‘It’s getting late and raucous out there.’ Robbie jerked upright, his eyes alert. ‘You should stay here tonight.’
She glanced at the bed. ‘I think that would be highly unwise, don’t you?’
He followed her gaze and gave a slow grin.
‘I agree. I’ll take you part of the way.’
But wouldn’t come in and face Roger. At this rate the rift would never heal.
‘Take me all the way or none.’ She stroked his cheek. ‘I won’t ask you to come with me now. It isn’t far. Stay and think about what you plan to do. You know where I will be when you decide.’
Rowenna swept from the room before he could object or she gave into her urges. The crowd had grown denser, surging towards the walls and she had to fight to make her way through towards home. She had not gone more than a dozen steps when there was a loud cheer. The gates that had been well defended opened with a crack loud enough to split the rumble of dissatisfaction. John Gisbourne’s rebels, on foot and horseback, surged through the archway and the city became a battleground.
Chapter Sixteen
Robbie sprang from the bed as soon as Rowenna had left the room. How close they had come to sliding into bed together had left him shaken. He straightened his disordered clothes and leaned from the window, gulping pungent summer air into his lungs, determined to get another glimpse of her.
The narrow street was alarmingly busy. He saw Rowenna leave the tavern and try to push through the mass of bodies. He should have insisted on taking her, realising with a heart-stopping burst of fear that she would never reach home safely with such crowds. He was halfway towards the door when a splintering crack filled his ears, followed by a roar of triumph. He raced back in time to see the great doors of the Bootham Gate burst open and men dressed in the white hoods of Gisbourne’s supporters surge through, spilling down the road in the direction Rowenna had taken.
Instinctively he reached for the sword at his waist, but it was not there. He swore and searched around frantically for something else he could use as a weapon and his eyes fell on the stool. He broke off one of the legs to use as a cudgel and remembered the bow Rowenna had brought him. He slung it over his back and ran outside, almost being trampled by men on horseback.
As he ran along Petergate, towards the church where he had made his announcement, Robbie relived the nightmare of the tournament day. Rowenna was ahead of him, somewhere, but this time the people preventing him reaching her were not confused and aimless, but a mob intent on destruction. Already buildings were on fire where flaming torches had been thrown through open doors. Sweat broke out over Robbie’s entire body at the sound and smell. People were screaming and trying to extinguish flames or hurling belongings into the street and fighting with the gang who were intent on causing as much damage as possible.
He spotted Rowenna amid the crowds. She was edging along the row of houses, her back to the walls. He cried out, but she was too far away to hear him. She was so intent on getting through the rioters that she had not noticed the white-hooded man who had changed direction and was moving purposefully towards her. Robbie gripped his chair leg, but he knew he would not reach Rowenna in time, and sure enough, before he was halfway there, the man had grabbed hold of her arm and began dragging her towards an alley. She tugged against him, but was no match for his size.
Robbie leapt on to an upturned box, pulled his bow from his back and loosed an arrow. It caught the man straight between the shoulder blades. He staggered, his head lolled back and he fell, pulling Rowenna down with him. She looked in incomprehension at her would-be assailant and began frantically searching around for the bowman. Robbie yelled her name and elbowed his way towards her. She saw him at last and her face lit with relief. By the time he had reached her she had scrambled to her feet and Robbie was able to wrap his arms around her, crushing her to him with a force so great she squeaked in protest and he reluctantly loosened his embrace.
‘I’ve come to take you home,’ he murmured into Rowenna’s hair.
He glanced over her head at the potential rapist who was slumped in a heap. Dead. It was the first time Robbie had killed. His throat filled with bitterness, but he pushed it to the back of his mind to think about later.
Rowenna clutched the sleeves of his tunic. ‘Robbie, you have to tell the Mayor what is happening. The city needs defending.’
A spark ignited in Robbie’s breast. He’d won recognition before in defending Yor
k. He could do it again and was minded to agree, but at the sound of breaking glass Rowenna flinched. She was worryingly pale and her clothes and hair were in disarray. The urge to protect her and keep her close to him was too powerful.
‘It doesn’t have to be me who tells him. I’m here to look after you.’
‘I’m not hurt and there’s no need to guard me,’ she said, against all the evidence to the contrary. Her eyes glowed with determination. ‘This could be your chance to redeem yourself. You can still become the knight you always dreamed of being.’
Robbie pulled her closer. After his fumbled attempt to seduce her at the tavern, he could barely contain himself when he was this close to her. He brushed the hair from her brow and kissed her forehead.
‘If you were not safe, I would have no future worth speaking of.’
She was going to argue again. Before she had the chance, Robbie pulled her to him and kissed her. She held him tightly, clutching to him and kissing him back with an intensity that left him breathless and in ecstasy. If they were racing headlong into danger, he would do it with the memory of Rowenna’s enthusiasm bolstering his courage. When he pulled away her eyes were brimming with surprise. Robbie took her face in his hands and gave her the most commanding look he could muster, given how deeply he wanted to embrace her.
‘Rowenna Danby, do as I tell you, when I tell you, for the first time in your life.’
She nodded, silently. He did not believe her meekness would last, but while she seemed inclined to obey, he took her by the hand. The crowds were getting thicker and it was hard to determine who was part of the ex-Mayor’s mob and who was simply taking the opportunity to resume rioting. If Simon de Quixlay did not know what was happening, he soon would hear of it as the violence was spreading towards the centre of the city and the Guild Hall. Together Robbie and Rowenna ran down the alleyway that led behind the church into the stonemason’s yard. It would bring them out only a little way from Hal’s house. Coming out the other side, they almost collided with a group of men and ducked swiftly through the open doorway of a workshop and into the safety of the furthest corner.
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