Eventually, the pain had to fade.
Eventually, she had to feel alive again.
It had gotten worse instead of better in the last week. Sam had seemed distracted. Rushed. Preoccupied. Every time she closed her phone, she’d felt hollow inside.
She’d known it would happen, but she hadn’t figured it would start so soon. She’d thought she would see him once more, at least.
Maybe it was better this way. Surgical incision. A clean break was better for him and the kids.
And hell for her.
Glancing at the clock fifteen minutes later, she dumped the mostly untouched sandwich in the garbage and headed out of the kitchen. Second set. Diesel’s song.
“Let’s play something upbeat after the first one,” she said to Paul.
“I’ve got the perfect choice,” he said as he adjusted his guitar. “How about ‘I Get by with a Little Help From My Friends’?”
“Yeah,” she said, giving him a hug. “That’s perfect.”
She nodded to Paul and leaned into her mic. “A lot of you know about the project I’m working on—getting some new songs that Diesel and I wrote ready to be released. We’re going to sing one of them tonight. But please, no recording. That would make my record company very unhappy.”
The crowd quieted, and she could almost see them leaning forward. Anticipating. She closed her eyes, had an image of Diesel smiling at her, and nodded to Paul.
The first notes of the intro settled her, and she began to sing. Paul joined her, and the music filled the pub. No one moved. No one talked. It was almost as if everyone was holding their breath.
As the last notes faded away, the room erupted into applause. People stamped their feet, cheered, whistled. Smiling, Delaney waited until everyone quieted. “Thank you,” she said. “That song meant a lot to Diesel.” It was the lullaby she’d hummed to Rennie. “And to me.”
As they prepared for their next song, a child’s voice rang out in the relative silence. “She sang my song!”
Rennie.
Delaney dropped her drumsticks on the floor and scrambled past the mic stands and the amplifiers. “Rennie?” She looked around, but after the bright stage lights, she couldn’t see in the darkness.
A small shape ran toward her down the narrow aisle next to the bar. Delaney bent down, and Rennie jumped into her arms.
“Rennie.” Delaney stroked her hair and inhaled her baby shampoo and little girl scent as she searched for Sam and Leo. Her eyes adjusted to the darkness, and she saw two more shapes hurrying toward her.
Leo reached her first. “Hey, Delaney,” he said, wrapping his arms around her waist.
“Leo.” She hugged him and kissed his head, then looked up. “Sam.”
She let Rennie slide to the floor, and threw herself into his arms. He held her tight against him as he kissed her, and she felt tears on her face. His? Hers? She had no idea.
Dimly, she heard the people in the bar applauding and cheering. Then Paul’s voice. “Well, folks, it looks as if we’ve lost our drummer for the rest of the night.”
Delaney broke the kiss and leaned back to look at Sam. “What are you all doing here?”
Before he could say anything, Rennie piped up. “We’re going to marry you and live in Otto Tail with you.”
Delaney stared at her. Amid the laughter of the people sitting close to them, Leo said, “Rennie, you dope, Uncle Sam is supposed to say that.”
More laughter broke out as Maddie pushed through the crowd and steered them toward the end of the bar. “Go in the office. We’re all enjoying this, but you’d probably like a little privacy.”
As the door clicked shut behind them, Delaney wrapped her arms around Sam again. “You’re here. I can’t believe you’re actually here.”
“I told you I’d come back. That I’d figure out a way.” He kissed her again, and she lost herself in the taste of him, the feel of him.
The miracle of him.
“Why are they kissing so much?” Rennie asked.
“I don’t know,” Leo said. “It’s pretty gross.”
Sam laughed and eased away from her. “I’m very glad to see Delaney,” he said. “I’ve missed her.”
“That’s lame, Uncle Sam. I missed her, too, but I’m not going to slobber all over her.” Leo made a face, and Delaney grabbed him and planted a big kiss on his cheek.
He wiped his sleeve across his face, but he was grinning.
“Tell me everything,” she said, still holding on to Sam. “What’s going on? What are you doing here?”
“We drove here,” Leo said.
“It was raining in the mountains, and Uncle Sam said bad words,” Rennie added.
Delaney looked at him, afraid to hope. “Are you really here to stay? For good?”
A shadow filled his eyes for a moment. “For now,” he said quietly. He slid his fingers into the curve of her waist and tugged her closer. “Do you have to stay for the rest of the night? Or can we get out of here? The mutt is in the car.”
For now? She grabbed her jacket and purse from the desk and gripped them tightly. “I think the guys can survive one night without me.”
The band was finishing a song as they exited the office, and everyone in the crowd smiled as they walked toward the front of the pub. Before they left, she said to Paul, “Can you get my drums?”
“I’ll bring them out tomorrow,” he told her.
“Thanks.”
The air outside was warm, but a sharp breeze blew in off the lake. “We’ll follow you home,” Sam said.
She watched the headlights behind her as she drove. They were steady. Strong. And they stayed close.
Sam pulled into her driveway right behind her. He had a carrier on his roof, and the back of the SUV was packed to the ceiling. Her heart began to pound. There was an awful lot of stuff in the Jeep for a quick visit.
“I called Myrtle and reserved a room at the Bide-a-Wee,” Sam said in a low voice as the kids escorted Fluffy into the trees to take care of business. “We’re not going to invade your privacy.”
“Are you kidding me?” She held tight to his hand, as if he might try to escape. “You’re not going anywhere. I have two small bedrooms upstairs that I don’t use. The kids will be fine up there.”
“Where am I supposed to sleep?” Sam asked.
“Later,” she said as Leo, Rennie and the dog came running out of the woods.
An hour later, Rennie was drowsy and warm in a sleeping bag, but she clung to Delaney’s hand. “Will you always kiss me good-night before I go to bed?” she asked, half-asleep.”
Delaney’s heart swelled. “You bet, sweetheart.”
Rennie smiled. “Fluffy, too?”
The dog was curled against the child’s back, watching Delaney. “Fluffy, too.”
In the other bedroom, Leo was already asleep, one hand resting on the guitar case.
As soon as she and Sam were in the living room, he snatched her into his arms and pulled her onto the couch. “God, I thought they’d never go to bed.”
She grinned as she burrowed closer. “You sound like a parent.”
He stilled. “Before we left Florida, all I could think about was you. About getting in the car and driving north.” He eased away from her and held her arms. “But I had a lot of time to think on that drive.”
Delaney tensed. This was the “for now” part. He was having second thoughts. Recognizing the enormity of what he’d done. “It’s okay, Sam.” She tried to smile. “I understand. I’ve missed you, too. But I don’t expect you to…to rearrange your whole life.” As long as she had a little time with him. As long as she got to spend a few nights sleeping next to him.
He frowned. “You think I’m having second thoughts? That I want to turn around and go back to Florida? Nothing could be further from my mind.”
“What’s wrong, then?”
He slid his palms down her arms and twined his fingers with hers. “Before we left, I didn’t think about what I’d be asking
of you. What I’d be expecting you to take on. Rennie said we were going to marry you and live here with you, and that’s exactly what I thought.”
Some of the tension in Delaney’s chest eased. “But…?”
“At some point, we’ll have to go back to Miami. Heather is trying to recover. She let me take the kids for now, so she can focus on getting better. But eventually, she’ll want them back.
“What do we do then?” His eyes clouded with worry. “Do you give up your business and move to Miami with us? Do we have a commuter marriage? I don’t like either of those options, but I want to be part of Leo and Rennie’s lives. I need to be.”
“We’ll have complicated lives,” Delaney said. “Lots of people do, and they make it work. We can, too.”
“It’s not just that.” He pulled her closer. “You’re getting a ready-made family. And it wouldn’t be an easy one. I’m still trying to figure it out. Neither of us has lived with kids. I have no idea what the hell I’m doing. On the way up here, I realized it’s not fair to ask you to take all this on.”
The fist around her heart relaxed. “Sam…”
“Don’t say anything yet.” He touched her mouth. “It’s not as if these are kids who have had a normal life. They wanted to come here, wanted to be with you and me, but they had to leave their mother behind. I know you love them, but you’ll never be their mother, Delaney, just like I’ll never be their father. Can you do that? Can you watch the kids you love go back to a woman you have every reason to dislike?”
“Will it be easy with Heather? No, it won’t. But we both love Leo and Rennie. We can figure it out as we go along.”
She slid onto his lap and cupped his face in her hands. “All four of us will figure this out. Heather, too, when she’s ready. I love you. I love Leo and Rennie. So, since you’re obviously not going to ask me, I’ll ask you. Will you marry me? Or do I have to kick your butt until you agree?”
His shoulders relaxed and he pulled her against him. “You’re such a romantic, Delaney. How can I refuse an offer like that?”
She curled her arms around his neck. “Is that a yes? You’re willing to give up the sun and the beach and the ocean to live in the frozen north? You’re willing to take on a woman who’s cranky in the morning, who loses herself in her work and forgets important stuff like eating? A woman who’s going to be gone for big chunks of time to promote this new CD? Are you sure you can live like that?”
“Smart-ass,” he murmured into her ear. “Don’t you know there’s nothing I want more? That I’d live anywhere with you? Do anything to have you as my wife?” He kissed her, and desire began to stir. “I love you, Delaney. When can we get married?”
“Soon.” She shivered as his hand crept beneath her tank top. “Very soon.”
“Here’s the big question for the night—where am I supposed to sleep?”
She wriggled closer, luxuriating in the feel of his hand on her body. “How does the couch sound?”
“I don’t think so.” He cupped her breast.
She sucked in a breath. “A sleeping bag on the floor?” He touched her nipple, and she moaned into his mouth.
“Sounds very uncomfortable.” He raised the thin cotton shirt and watched her as he rubbed his thumb over her skin. “Any other ideas?”
“I’m…I can’t think.” She closed her eyes. “Just don’t stop.”
“Never, Delaney.” He lifted her off the couch and carried her to the bedroom.
A long time later, he smiled down at her. “I love you. Have I mentioned that?”
She twined her arms around his neck. “Say it again. I’ll never get tired of hearing it.”
EPILOGUE
CHRISTMAS MORNING. Delaney couldn’t remember ever being this excited about it, even when she was a kid. The tiny, multicolored lights twinkled on the Christmas tree in her living room, and the scent of pine filled the air. Outside, dawn painted the sky pink and orange as she and Sam waited at the bottom of the stairs, listening to Leo and Rennie stir in their bedrooms.
She and Sam had gotten out of bed as soon as they heard movement above them. But instead of the expected charge of footsteps into the living room, rustling sounds and giggles drifted down.She leaned into Sam. “What are they up to?”
“I have no idea.” He peered up the stairs. “But I suspect it’s related to all the whispering and closed doors recently.”
Delaney glanced over her shoulder at the presents piled under the Christmas tree. “I wish they’d hurry up. I’m as excited as the kids.”
He wrapped his arms around her. “I used to hate Christmas,” he said softly.
She turned in his arms. “How come?”
“It was the last time I saw Diesel alive. The time I told him not to come to me for help anymore. And three months later, he died.”
“He knew you loved him, Sam.” She cupped his face in her hands. “He knew why you said what you did. You have to let it go.”
Sam pressed his hand over hers, holding her palm to his cheek. “I like to think I’m making it up to him now. By standing in for him with his kids.”
“They’re happy,” she said. “Loved. Secure. You love them as much as Diesel did. And you helped Heather get clean and sober. Diesel would be happy.”
Before he could answer, a door on the second floor opened and Leo and Rennie ran down the stairs. Dressed in their pajamas, they rushed past Delaney and Sam and into the living room. Fluffy trailed them, wearing a huge red bow around his neck. He stopped every couple of steps and tried to scratch it off.
“Santa was here,” Rennie squealed.
Leo rolled his eyes, and Delaney pulled him close. “Where did that sleigh bell come from? It wasn’t there when we went to bed.” She pointed to the dull silver bell suspended by a strip of leather from the front of the Christmas tree. “Rennie will be able to hear it. Will you?” They’d read The Polar Express earlier in the week. Leo’s glance shifted from the tree to Delaney. He looked uncertain. She rang the bell, and its clear sound filled the room.
Leo’s eyes widened, and she saw the magic of the season there.
“That’s what I thought,” she said, hugging him.
She and Sam sat on the couch, their hands entwined, while the kids opened their presents. There were none from Heather, because they were all going to Miami tomorrow, and the kids would have their own Christmas with their mother. They’d spend the rest of their Christmas break with her, while Sam and Delaney had the honeymoon they’d postponed after their summer wedding and the flurry of publicity connected with the release of Delaney and Diesel’s CD.
As Leo and Rennie opened boxes and unwrapped books, Sam grabbed a red ribbon from the debris on the floor. He looped it behind Delaney’s ears and tied a bow on top of her head. “Here’s my Christmas present,” he said, kissing her. “All I want. You’ve made all my dreams come true.”
She touched her stomach. Later, she’d give Sam his Christmas gift. One more dream was going to come true, as well.
After all the presents were opened, including the chew bone for Fluffy, Rennie nudged Leo. He nodded and pulled his guitar out from behind a chair. “Can I tell them?” Rennie said, bouncing up and down. “Please, Leo?”
“Yeah, you can tell them.”
“Leo made a song for you,” she said, her eyes shining. “A Christmas song. And I helped.”
Delaney clutched Sam’s hand. “You wrote a song, Leo? Really?”
He nodded, his cheeks flushed. “It’s kind of stupid,” he said, fiddling with the guitar strings.
“It is not,” Rennie objected. “It’s a good song.”
Sam cleared his throat. “Can we hear it?”
Leo strummed a chord, then began to play and sing. “There once was a dog named Fluffy, a puppy who needed a home.”
Rennie picked up Fluffy’s front legs and made him dance. He snapped at the bow on his neck and almost fell over. Delaney grabbed Sam’s hand and held on tightly.
“He was lost in the wood
s in the winter, a bad dog who wanted to roam.”
The dog jumped away from Rennie and tried to eat a piece of green wrapping paper. Sam leaned forward and snatched it away from him.
“Then he found a new family to love him, they kept him and gave him a bath.”
Delaney bit her lip as she tried to hold back the tears.
“And now they’re one big happy family, except when he passes the gas.”
Delaney laughed and cried at the same time, and dragged the boy into her arms. “Leo, that was wonderful.” She scooped Rennie into her arms as well, and hugged both kids fiercely. Sam wrapped his arms around all of them.
“The last line is kind of stupid, but I couldn’t think of a word to rhyme with fart,” Leo said.
“I think it’s a brilliant song.” She leaned away from him. “Your dad would love it, too, and I know he heard it. He’s smiling right now because he’s so proud of both of you.”
“I’m going to take my guitar to Miami and play it for Mom.”
“That’s a great idea,” Sam said. “She’ll love it.”
Still holding on to Leo, Delaney leaned against Sam and pulled Rennie into her lap. The four of them looked at the room, the floor covered with torn wrapping paper and ribbons, presents in random piles. Fluffy was chewing on his rawhide bone.
Her family. She had never thought she’d be able to say those words, but all her dreams had come true.
She smiled at Sam. “What do you think of Christmas now?”
ISBN: 978-1-4268-7527-4LIFE REWRITTEN
Copyright © 2010 by Margaret Watson
All rights reserved. Except for use in any review, the reproduction or utilization of this work in whole or in part in any form by any electronic, mechanical or other means, now known or hereafter invented, including xerography, photocopying and recording, or in any information storage or retrieval system, is forbidden without the written permission of the publisher, Harlequin Enterprises Limited, 225 Duncan Mill Road, Don Mills, Ontario, Canada M3B 3K9.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events or locales is entirely coincidental.
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