He regarded me in silence and then grinned, causing his whole face to light up. “Okay, I can handle that.”
“Why are you so interested anyway? That panic attack the first night you met me should have scared you away. It was obvious then that I have some issues.”
“I’ve always liked projects.”
I scowled at him and he raised his hands up. “Just kidding! I don’t know. You just looked so scared and sad. It makes me want to take care of you and make you feel better.
“You do. You make me forget about things, except when you start asking questions.”
“I kind of figured that out.”
A gust of wind hit my wet suit and sent a chill through me. Jason wrapped a sun-warmed towel around my body. His arms lingered around me longer than “just friends”, but it felt nice and I didn’t shrug him off.
Chapter 7
I got back to the apartment and immediately showered to remove the crusty layer of salt and sand. When I stepped out, I caught my reflection in the mirror. My sun kissed skin glowed and freckles dotted my nose. I looked healthy and normal on the outside, very different from how I felt on the inside. I took a person’s life and no matter how far removed I was from Philly, it didn’t change this fact. Jason was too good to me and he was wasting his time trying to get closer. Yes, I left Dominic for a fresh start, but this was impossible. My heart still belonged to him.
These thoughts weighed heavy on my mind and quickly soured my mood. I was allowing myself to get too comfortable here and needed to know where I stood back East. Reluctantly, I fired up the laptop and checked e-mail. This time I wasn’t surprised to see a bazillion messages from Grant and Dominic. I clicked on the most recent one from Dom. The subject line read: Please.
Baby, please call me, email me or just come home. I’m worried about you and can’t describe how much I miss you. I didn’t realize how empty my life was without you in it. You are in danger and I need to know you are okay. Come home, we can protect you.
Love and Always Yours,
Dom
Yeah right he can protect me! If that was the case I would never have been shot in the first place or had to kill a man to save our asses. His anguish about losing me was clear and mirrored my feelings, but in reading between the lines something else became clear. He wanted me to go back. “We can protect you,” meant the Mob, his family. He would never be able to leave them. This hadn’t changed. I would be the one making a sacrifice. Time had healed the wounds that my high school boyfriend, Toby (the cheating bastard), inflicted upon me, so maybe there was hope that time would heal again.
Chelsea burst through the door, a fireball of energy. She leaped onto the futon and bounced up and down next to me. “Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!”
“What?”
“The studio is letting me go to my first movie premier!”
“That’s awesome!”
“Beyond awesome…and guess what?”
“I give up.” She rolled her eyes at my lack of effort.
“I can bring up to 3 guests and you’re totally going…so are Derek and Jason.”
“When is it?”
“Next Wednesday. This is going to be fucking amazing!” Chelsea reached into her purse and grabbed her cell. “I have to call Derek.” She bounced down the hall to her bedroom. Her good mood was infectious and lifted the gloom that had been hanging over my head. Yes, coming to live with Chelsea was a good move.
The next week was full of shopping. Chelsea dragged me all over the place in a quest for the perfect outfits. After hitting what seemed like the fiftieth boutique, she hit the jackpot. She turned me into Dressing Room Barbie and insisted I buy a low cut, deep red mini dress, declaring I was hotter than most A-list actresses. The dress covered my scar and that was all I cared about.
Chapter 8
Jason and Derek picked us up for the premiere. They had to wait a bit while we finished getting ready. We had the bathroom door propped open and a few minutes later the distinct smell of marijuana wafted down the hall. Chelsea peeked her head out the door and yelled. “What are you guys doing? This is a work function for me!”
“Don’t worry Chels; trust me we won’t be the only high ones there!” Derek yelled back. I could hear Jason snickering in the background.
“Great, they’re going to act like complete morons.”
“Don’t worry, everything will be fine. Besides, with traffic it’ll probably take an hour or more to get there. They’ll be sober by then.”
“Thanks, you’re right. I’m just nervous. I want to make a good impression.” She smiled at me. “I’m glad you’re here.”
“Me too. You look fantastic by the way,” I said.
Chelsea wore a form-fitting, strapless blue dress that accented her eyes and her blonde hair hung down in soft waves past her shoulders.
“You’re pretty hot yourself.”
“This dress isn’t too low cut?” I asked, glancing down at the plunging neckline that revealed more of my tanned cleavage than I was comfortable with.
“Nope. It’s sexy.”
The one thing I was okay with was my hair. All the time I spent in the sun had brought out a lot of blond highlights. With one last check in the mirror we left the bathroom. I thought Derek’s eyes were going to pop out of his head when he saw Chelsea. He was dressed in black dress pants and a blue button down shirt, almost the same color as Chelsea’s dress.
“Babe, let’s skip the premiere and stay here,” he said and pulled her into a deep kiss.
Jason was silently regarding me. His bright eyes raked over my dress, lingering on my cleavage. He too was wearing black dress pants, but a black button down shirt. His hair and eyes stood out and I had to admit he cleaned up nice.
“Hi Nat,” he broke the silence.
“Hey.” I walked over to meet him. His eyes dropped to my exposed legs and the black high heels I wore. His Adam’s apple bobbed and he licked his lips.
“That dress is going to make it really hard for us to just be friends,” he whispered.
“It isn’t too much?”
“Oh no, it’s perfect.” He held his arm out for me.
“Thank you.” I rested my hand at the crook of his elbow.
We all walked down to the parking lot and Jason led me towards a BMW. He held the driver’s side passenger door open for me.
“This is your car?” I asked him. He was only a bartender, how could he afford this?
“Yup. My dad got it for me as a college graduation gift.”
“Oh.” I remembered that his dad was a big shot entertainment lawyer. “My BMW was a graduation present too.”
“I only think he got for it me because I agreed to go to law school. Was yours a gift from your dad?”
“Um, no. My dad left when I was five. My brother got it for me.”
“Nice brother. See, I’m learning more about you.” He winked at me as he held the door open.
Jason eased the car onto the street and we were off. I had no idea what to expect and Chelsea chattered on nervously about anything and everything. Derek just smiled and kept his hand on her leg. It didn’t take as long as anticipated and we were soon pulling up in front of the theater. A valet attendant stepped up and opened the doors. A large crowd stood behind barricades that lined the walkway leading up to the theater. Paparazzi and media people were everywhere. We weren’t celebrities and the disappointment was audible when we got out of the car. Some celebrities were ahead of us and we still got caught in the barrage of flashes and fandom.
Jason had his arm around me and I buried my face in his shoulder. The frenzy was overwhelming and when I saw the photographers the risk of recognition became real. I felt another panic attack coming on and picked up the pace. Once we were safe indoors my breathing started to slow.
“You okay?” Jason asked. His arm was still around me protectively.
I nodded. “That was crazy.”
During the movie I replayed the entrance in my head. What
if my picture was taken? What are the chances of it appearing anywhere? This was such a bad idea. I groaned and rested my head on Jason’s shoulder. He smelled like sunscreen and ocean, very organic and comforting. He rested his head on top of mine and set his hand on my knee. Jason felt very natural to me. He always had his hand at the small of my back or on my arm. I didn’t mind his contact as he had a calming effect. If I took things slow, maybe I could grow to like Jason as more than friends. Maybe he could help heal my heart. With a deep breath, I slipped my fingers between his. He lightly squeezed them without hesitation.
Our hands remained together when we left the theatre. Chelsea raised her eyebrow at me, but kept her mouth shut. I knew there would be questions later. Jason shielded me from the madness outside and kept me covered until the valet brought his car around. I wrapped my arm around his waist and pressed my face into his chest, inhaling his scent like he was an aromatherapy candle.
Once we were all in the car Chelsea convinced us to go to a bar. Jason drove us to Dirty, where he worked. It was known for its dirty martinis, hence the name. Since it was still fairly early, Dirty wasn’t at capacity yet. We found seats by the bar and a familiar face turned around to serve us, the guy who shook his wet hair on me at the beach.
“Hey Jase!”
“Hi Collin. Do you remember Natalie?”
“I do. How are you doing?”
“Good. I almost didn’t recognize you with a shirt on,” I said, and Collin grinned.
“Excuse me?” Chelsea jumped in.
“We met at the beach.”
“Oh, right.”
I hadn’t had a drink since Philadelphia, but since this was a special occasion, I tried a signature dirty martini. Not even halfway through it I was feeling toasty.
“Hi Callie.” Jason greeted an older woman who had walked up to our group.
“Hey Jason, glad to see you brought some friends in. Enjoying your night off?’
“I am. Do you remember Derek and Chelsea? And this is my friend Natalie.”
“So you’re the infamous Natalie he keeps talking about.” The corners of Callie’s eyes creased when she smiled at me.
“I guess so.”
Callie shook my hand. “Jason hasn’t looked at another chick since he started blathering on about you. I had to meet the woman that cast a spell on him.”
“I know what you mean; imagine what it’s like having to live with the guy.” Derek interjected. We all laughed and I looked over at Jason. He was squirming, just like when a relative reveals something personal and embarrassing at a holiday dinner.
“Collin, make sure this round is on me,” Callie ordered. We all thanked her and she disappeared into the kitchen.
“That was nice of her,” I commented.
“Yeah, Callie is cool. Her husband used to run the place, but after he died she stepped in.”
“Her husband died? That’s so sad.”
“He was working here late one night and a robbery went bad. He was shot and killed.”
“I didn’t know that! That’s horrible!” Chelsea said.
“How can she stand to still come here?” I asked. Why didn’t she run, like I did? How can she face coming back to the scene, day after day? I shuddered at the thought. Jason leaned in closer and rubbed the small of my back.
“Frank, Callie’s husband, loved this bar. This was his dream, so I think she’s keeping it going as a tribute to him.”
“There’s a lot you can tolerate when you love someone, right Nat?” Chelsea asked.
“Yes, but everyone has their breaking point,” I reminded her. Mentally I was begging her to not go there.
“What are you guys talking about?” Jason asked.
“Nat’s ex.” Chelsea volunteered.
“You know what, let’s stop dredging up history.” I picked up my glass and drained the remaining liquid. “Collin, I’m feeling a little dirty.”
He laughed and brought us another round of drinks. “This should make you feel a lot dirty,” he said to me, but winked at Jason.
Jason didn’t say anything back and I swiveled in the stool to see why. He was quiet, pensive and looking at me. I reached out and clasped his hand.
“Are you okay?”
“I just can’t figure you out and I want to know everything about you.”
“Well, after a couple more of these martinis, I’ll probably be telling you my whole life story!”
The corners of Jason’s lips twitched. “Really? Collin, keep ‘em coming!”
As the night wore on the older, more professional crowd transitioned to a younger one. A band set up at the small stage and started jamming. Dirty became packed, but Jason stood behind where I sat, creating a buffer from the crowd. I leaned my head back against his chest and looked up at him. His eyes met mine and he held my gaze.
“You’re beautiful,” his hand caressed my cheek sending goose bumps shimmying down my spine.
“Nat, I need to go to the bathroom.” Chelsea appeared next to us, breaking the moment.
“I’m right behind you!” I left my clutch with Jason and followed Chelsea on unsteady feet.
The second the door shut Chelsea whirled around to face me.
“What’s going on between you two?”
“Nothing. We’re just friends.”
“No, something is different. You guys can’t stop touching one another. If you’re going to hook up with a guy can it not be my boyfriend’s roommate?”
“First of all, we already hooked up, remember? Jason is nice, fun and I feel safe with him.”
“You are still dealing with Dominic; I don’t think you should get involved with someone else too quickly. Give yourself some time.”
“It’s been over a month, besides Jason and I are just friends.”
“You’re acting like more than friends.”
“He keeps my dark thoughts away.” Tears started welling up in my eyes. “I feel normal around him. He makes me forget what I’ve done.”
“Oh, Nat!” Chelsea pulled me into a hug.
The door popped open and two women walked in. Seeing women hugging and crying is not an unusual sight in a bar bathroom so they moved around us and went about their business.
“I checked email today. Dominic wants me to come home. He’s not going to change; he’ll never leave his family. I would be giving up everything to be with him.”
“I’m playing Devil’s Advocate here: yes you left a dangerous situation, but your brother is accepting that life. You’re giving up everything to be away from him too.”
“There really isn’t an ideal solution, is there?”
“Leave it to you to get in a situation like this.” Chelsea smirked and shook her head. “You were right in leaving, but how long can you hide? You’re going to have to come to terms with everything that went down.”
“I know. Right now I’m going with what doesn’t cause me any pain.”
“Jason or dirty martinis?” Chelsea asked with a laugh.
“A little bit of both!”
We hooked arms and walked out into the bar. The band was really rocking and Chelsea pulled me onto the small dance floor. We were both overdressed for the crowd and drew a lot of attention. A couple of men came up to join us. At first, the one by me kept a safe distance. He inched closer the longer the song played and was getting a little too close for my comfort level. I stepped back and bumped into Chelsea. Her dance partner had moved on.
“Let’s go back to the boys,” I yelled over the music. She nodded, reaching for my hand. We started to leave when someone grabbed my other arm and yanked me back - hard.
“Ow - get off me!” I ripped my arm out of his grip and squared off. It was the man I had been dancing with and he loomed over me scowling, his forehead glistening with sweat.
“I wasn’t done dancing.” Before I could move, he stepped forward, wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me against him. His breath was hot and reeked of alcohol.
“Leave her alo
ne!” Chelsea punched at his arms and he didn’t even flinch. He swatted her away like she was an annoying mosquito. That did it. Lifting up my leg, I gouged into the top of his foot with my heel.
“You bitch!” Spit sprayed over my face.
I pushed off of him and lost my footing. I could feel myself falling backwards and then suddenly hands wrapped around me from behind.
“I got you,” Jason breathed in my ear as he righted me. As soon as I had my balance he was moving past me and face to face with the asshole.
Jason wasn’t nearly as tall as the guy, but he didn’t back down. He shoved him and the crowd surrounding our scene took a collective step back. Derek ran up and checked on Chelsea before charging into the fray.
Punches were thrown and Chelsea screamed. I grabbed her trembling hand and she clung to my arm. A separate commotion was breaking out behind us and I turned to see a bouncer and Callie pushing their way through the throngs of bystanders.
This time I wasn’t forced to defend myself. I had someone fighting my battles for me and fight them he did. Jason never hesitated. He ducked and landed punches like a professional boxer. Callie displayed balls of her own when she stepped right in the middle. The bouncer pulled Derek out first and then hauled Jason back.
Chelsea and I each grabbed hold of our dates and kept them from jumping back in.
Callie turned to us, “You guys need to leave.” Her focus returned to the bouncer who was wrestling my would-be assailant to the ground.
Following Callie’s orders we went to leave, stopping at the bar first to grab our bags. Collin clapped when we walked up.
“Good job. That guy is such a dick.”
I fished out my wallet and handed Collin a hundred dollar bill. “Thanks for making me feel dirty!”
“No prob. You brawlers get outta here.”
We quickly left, ignoring the stares we received on the way to the door.
“I can’t believe that fucking guy!” Jason was pacing in the parking lot, his blonde hair puffed out resembling a lion’s mane.
Clean Slate (New Mafia Trilogy #2) Page 4