by Vi Voxley
"Is it true she did it with the dagger he forged for her?" Dana asked.
Captain Berollen didn't answer, which was answer enough.
Dana was quiet for a long moment. Her hands were protectively covering her belly. She steeled her heart, telling herself she was fine. In fact, she was much better protected than Hannah had been. After what happened to her, Dana was sure Havoc and Chase would have an army of healers attending on her.
"How's the villa coming along?" she asked conversationally, needing to take her mind off death and fear.
Avoiding stress wasn't exactly coming along.
"Great," Captain Berollen said at once, jumping at the chance to tell her something good. "The baby's rooms are being prepared, as are your new quarters and those of your son. All is well. Both children have their own weapon and armor rooms built, of course, and–"
"Excuse me?" Dana asked, her mouth dropping open and for once, the thoughts of Hannah washing away. "What do you mean?"
"Well," Berollen said, helplessly. "The children have their training facilities prepared. How else do young warriors learn and practice?"
Dana's heart was beating very fast.
"One of them is Terran," she said very quietly. "The other isn't even born yet. And they are both warriors already somehow?"
Captain Berollen looked like the sky had been dropped on him. He searched for words.
"Yes, Miss Dana, but look at who their fathers are. The expectations..."
She walked away, not trusting herself to speak another word. She needed a comm link to her fateds and soon. With her mind unraveling, all the memories of Ryan poured back in.
Normal boys. Expectations! Gods, not again.
She collapsed in a heap of pain before she ever reached the villa.
21
Chase
They rushed to answer Dana's call like it was a race to save her life.
Chase was back on Havoc's flagship, straight out of a fierce ground battle on the planet Hosh where the Gargon armada was met with both victory and disappointment.
There was nothing wrong with the battle itself. It had been hard and brutal, fighting the League's vicious, cruel warriors in a rain of fire. The orbit of the planet was a war zone much like the ground was and both the warlords had descended to the surface to meet the twins. It had been a nasty surprise to find that the twins weren't so keen on meeting them.
At first, Chase had taken that particular occurrence as a compliment. He and Havoc had jested that if the leaders of the Iron League didn't dare to face them in combat, the war was practically won.
Then the truth revealed itself. Neither one of them truly believed that the twins were afraid of them. The real reason why their mortal enemies never showed was to rest while they taunted the Gargons with endless tiny battles that ultimately didn't matter.
Chase was tired of chasing the League across worthless worlds and space battles, sometimes passing through more than ten ships before returning to his own vessel, all the others reduced to ashes.
The battle of Hosh was another in the long line of that story. Chase rushed into the same lounge they'd used the last time to talk to Dana, finding Havoc already there.
The call hadn't been answered. He allowed himself a single small smirk.
Things hadn't been good between the leaders of the Gargon armada, not after their last disastrous call to Dana. It was hopeful to find that Havoc hadn't completely lost his mind and manners yet.
Havoc looked terrible. His right temple was bleeding and the black armor was torn, as was the gigantic warrior himself. It had been a true fight down on Hosh, killing enemies for every advanced step, dodging the pieces of ships that fell upon them from the orbit. The horizon was on fire as far as they had been able to see.
"Do you know what this is about?" Chase asked first.
Trust wasn't at a high point between them either. More than anything, the fact they hadn't been able to check up on Dana pained them day after day. Even their elusive enemies hadn't done as much damage as the eternally scrambled communications that kept them from talking to their fated.
There were still messages, sure. Havoc's captain reported as often as he could on her doings and sometimes even Dana sent a word to them. As time passed, Captain Berollen's reports had increased and Dana's practically died out.
That, if he was ever going to admit it, scared Chase a little. It felt like they were fighting and dying for a lost world. If they didn't have Dana to come back to, life itself was bound to lose meaning.
Havoc's face was ashen underneath all the mud and blood.
"The baby," he said simply.
Chase felt his heart skip a beat and then another. He said nothing to Havoc anymore, instead moving to accept the holocall.
The flickering image of Dana jumped to life.
At least she still had the baby. It had been five months since Chase and Havoc left and Dana was clearly showing now. The long white dress she wore didn't hide the pregnancy one bit, which he liked. Chase would have wanted the whole galaxy to know his fated was expecting their baby, to tell everyone of the gift they were to receive.
The look on Dana's face stopped him from bursting out the words that had come to his mind. She was even more tired than before, pale and way too skinny for a female who carried a life inside of her. Her curves had almost disappeared.
Neither he nor Havoc spoke, the shock was too much. They had known that things hadn't exactly been ideal, but they had hoped the reconstructions of the villa would help, at least a little. Dana looked absolutely miserable.
"Hey," she finally said. "How's the war going?"
Her voice was as lifeless and cold as she looked. Chase frowned, wondering if she even bothered to feign interest in their affairs when all they were trying to do was protect her and the baby.
Havoc recovered first.
"It is going as well as we might have hoped," he said. "No sign of the twins yet, but they can't elude us forever. Sooner or later, they have to show their faces and we can end this misguided attempt to attack the Alliance. Is everything alright with Octava? We know some of the ships have slipped through the lines."
For a moment, Chase saw the real Dana return, hopeful and rational. She nodded, looking off somewhere, standing – as it appeared – in one of the new rooms prepared for the baby.
"Everything is great here," she said. "Security-wise, I mean. Captain Berollen has been excellent. The few raids and attacks we've had, as you said, were aimed at the capital. I've heard the shield go up a few times and we regularly check up on the Sanguine.
“Only once he woke me up in the middle of the night and we went down to the lower levels when the ships came too close. Nothing happened, though. I haven't seen a single warrior of the League."
"Good," Havoc said roughly at once. "That is how it should be. Pass our commendation to Captain Berollen. Perhaps I will forgive his earlier slights to him."
There was a strange look in Dana's eyes then, as though she knew more slights than them. Chase was about to ask when Havoc cut back in.
"Is everything alright with the baby?"
They could both see the reaction to that very clearly. Dana frowned. Different emotions overwhelmed Chase. He knew that Havoc had made a mistake, one he'd warned him about before.
Yet even mad, their fated looked simply gorgeous. She was glowing the way pregnant females did when they were close to becoming mothers. Her fierce temper was on the surface as she fought for what she believed in, what she wanted from life.
Not unlike a warrior.
"Yes," she replied coldly. "It is now. I had another little episode. I thought you should know. The healers say it wasn't anything to worry about. Nothing special, as they said."
Her voice very clearly stated she didn't agree.
"Dana..." Havoc tried, but she shook her head, holding up her hand.
"I know. Trust me, I know. You are out there, fighting for us all. It's just hard. I need you guys here and you're not
. Every day, it gets harder and I'm scared, much too tired to pretend I'm not.
“It takes a toll on Sean, too. He has to see me like this, alone and sad. That is not what I wanted. This is not what I imagined it would be like. I didn't think I would have to go through this alone."
"The boy will be fine," Chase said dismissively, the exhaustion of the battle still clearly with them both, making their tempers short and irritated. "It's not he that has to suffer. Dana, you know we will return to you the first chance we get–"
"Don't you say that," Dana snapped, her blue eyes filled with anger. "Don't say that about my son. I'm the only one he has. If something should happen to me..."
She trailed off. Heavy silence weighed them all down as it rained on both ends of the call.
Havoc made the mistake of trying to soothe a worried mother.
"You are going to be okay, Dana," he said, venturing on reluctantly. "In case anything should happen, you must know Chase and I would take care of the boy, raise him as our own."
"Stop calling him the boy," Dana said angrily, her hands shaking. "His name is Sean. I know he'll never be as important to you as the baby, but I hoped that for my sake you'd at least try. And I already saw what you plan for him. Warrior's equipment? I told you, he's Terran. We don't breed warriors."
"It doesn't mean he can't be one," Chase said defensively, his own irritation growing. "He clearly has an interest in war. He could learn from Havoc and me, and the warriors who we train are the best in the galaxy."
"He is seven!" Dana retorted. "He likes the way war looks! Do either of you know anything about children? Sean sees shiny armors and fancy swords and thinks it’s all fun and games! And yes, you guys are amazing, but he gets the wrong impression from you! If he never sees you get hurt, he will think you can't get hurt in war!"
Chase couldn't help it. The absolute worst response he could have given slipped over his lips.
"How stupid do you think your son is?" he asked.
Dana was so furious she couldn't reply, her beautiful lips pressed together into a thin line. Havoc jumped in before everything was ruined.
"He didn't mean that," the other warlord said, although Chase could tell he agreed with him. "We are not telling Sean he needs to be a warrior. We're providing him with the option to be one if he wants to."
Dana gave them a sharp look.
"And our baby?" she asked coldly. "Will he or she have a choice?"
"Of course," Chase said, feeling his blood boil.
"A real one or one that's heavily suggested?" Dana asked, a fiercely protective look in her eyes. "Because I went to see the rooms. The decorations don't exactly say "You can be anyone you want, we'll support you". Tell me, didn't it occur to you to discuss any of this with me?"
And again, the wrong words came. The battle had heated up Chase's blood and he didn't appreciate being compared to Dana's good-for-nothing ex.
"I am not Ryan," he said seriously, his deep voice emotionless now. "Neither is Havoc. That is just insulting. We wanted to give you rest and peace, not bother you with meaningless details."
"The lives of my children aren't meaningless details," Dana replied, her voice pure ice. "That is something I'm always prepared to discuss. I thought you would understand that."
Chase didn't reply.
He sighed. The call wasn't going nearly as well as he'd hoped. Compared to the bloody battle on Hosh, Chase almost wished he was back there. With the League, he at least understood who the enemy was.
His fated would never be an enemy, yet he couldn't deny that she was wearing him down more than the League was at the moment. All he wanted was to rush to her side, reassure her that everything was going to be fine. Only they knew that it wasn't going to happen before the war was won.
"We understand that you feel alone," Havoc said at last. "The most important thing is that you rest and take care of yourself and the baby. It will all be over soon."
Dana's blue eyes bored into Havoc now. She was practically shaking from head to toe.
"All over soon?" she asked. "Like Hannah?"
Chase wanted to call out a warning. This time to Dana. He was too late, though. Havoc's expression went from compassionate to ice cold in an instant. The big warlord stood straighter all of a sudden, his red-colored eyes holding Dana's gaze.
"What about my first fated?" he asked, his deep voice freezing the room.
"They told me," Dana said, the words pouring from her mouth like they'd been held back for too long. "They told me she killed herself. When were you going to let me know what happened to her?"
Chase felt like his life was slipping into a speed he could no longer control. Like watching it happen in slow motion, he tried to interrupt, come between Havoc and Dana, but he couldn't. They plummeted into darkness, taking him with them.
"Never," Havoc said sharply. "It was a horrible night and I lost the two most important people in my life. I hate reliving it. I never planned to burden you with the horror."
"Burden me?" Dana demanded, sitting up straighter. "How about letting me know what I was potentially facing? You didn't lie to me because I never thought to ask, but you sure as hell let me assume she died due to some complications. That's not true, is it? She just couldn't bear it."
"Enough," Havoc growled with such power it looked like Dana's next words were literally caught in her throat all of a sudden. "She is gone. Leave her be."
"I can't," Dana said with a hint of fear in her eyes. "This is out now. I want the truth, Havoc. Did you hide this from me because you thought that if I knew, I wouldn't have had the baby? Because if you did, this is over."
"No," Havoc said, his deep voice filled with emotion. "I didn't tell you because I wanted to spare you the images it conjures. The pain was bad enough for me. I didn't want to share it with you as I would share everything else. How can you even think that?"
Chase didn't say anything and neither did Dana, for a long moment.
His gaze fell on Dana, looking like she'd been slapped. In his heart, Chase understood the pregnancy hormones were running freely in her body, making her temperamental and scared. It was another side-effect that while much talked about in regards to Terran-Gargon pregnancies, it was hard to really prepare for.
Again, the pain in his heart told him that standing there fighting with her was the worst thing they could do. They needed to be back on Octava, taking care of her and not letting anything come between their very new and very frail relationship.
A relationship that fate had decided had to mostly be conducted from opposite ends of the galaxy, via holocalls and text messages.
"How can I not?" she asked miserably, bottomless sorrow in her beautiful voice. "I don't know what to think. You didn't trust me enough to tell me and now I can't know if you're telling the truth. I told you this on the day we met – I have trust issues. For good reason. This didn't help."
A long silence set as they all simply looked at each other.
Chase loved Dana. After all those years of longing for a fated, there was nothing he wanted more than to be with her and make her happy. He didn't understand why it had to be so hard.
The Gargon bonds were powerful and amazing, yet they weren't really magical. What could any of them do when love simply didn't seem to be enough?
22
Dana
Three months later...
"I am a hippo," she told Rebecca that morning, looking at herself in the mirror. "I mean, look at me. I'm huge. I could be a battleship. A pregnant battleship."
Rebecca laughed, helping her get into a dress – only one of the many activities that got to be difficult as she kept growing. It felt good to hear her friend laugh. Lately, there hadn't been much cheer in the villa.
Everyone felt it. Even Sean who was usually such a lively boy had stopped playing with the same enthusiasm as before.
Dana hated it. All at once, it felt like it was all her fault and also like her life was merely happening to her without her having an ounce
of control over it.
The solution was so simple, after all. If she just gave in to Havoc and Chase, agreed to stay with them and be a happy little family, it would have been all right. She and Sean could live forever in the gorgeous villa and all the other houses the two warlords had all over Octava.
Sounds like a dream, right?
The truth was considerably less flowery. Ever since the last holocall, Dana hadn't tried to make contact with her fated again. It was just too hard to look them in the eyes, feel the desire and blooming love in her heart and hear the words coming out of her or their mouths that threatened to tear it all apart.
She couldn't forgive them for not telling her, even if she knew it had been unforgivable of her to dredge up Hannah's terrible fate like that.
It was all a blur in her head.
She wanted to put it all down to her pregnancy, but she honestly couldn't. Although she was close to bursting as Rebecca kept reminding her, it wasn't that. It was the same old thing all over again and Dana was honestly just... tired.
For a few glorious weeks, she'd believed that it was possible – to have a relationship without all the complications and lies and disagreements. A pure, beautiful thing without dark clouds above her head. So far, it hadn’t worked out so well.
With the war still far too close, and Dana’s respect for her fated keeping her bound to Octava, she felt trapped and yet thankful that there was no chance to run. She might have been tempted to take the ‘easy way out’, then.
Rebecca was right in the middle of tying up the laces of her dress, a gigantic heap of cloth that in her mind could very well have doubled as a parachute, when Sean rushed into the room. He was panting, his cheeks red from running.
"They're coming home," he wheezed. "The war. It's over. Havoc and Chase destroyed the League's fleet and they're on their way back now."