by Robin Roseau
"Would you grow bored?"
"Is it your nature to grow stagnant?"
"No."
"Then I do not believe I would grow bored. I can't promise, but no one could promise that."
"But you're so much smarter than I am."
"I am smarter in some ways but we are both very intelligent. We have good conversations, and they would continue. And I would insist you find interests apart from me, because then we get a break and when we come back together, we have things to share."
"I shouldn't worry about these things."
"No, I don't believe you should. I am not worried about them. I do not worry you will grow bored. I do not worry I will." Her ears twitched. "We both are creative people and enjoy the creativity of the other. Our lives will be varied. Our sex lives will be varied. I will dream of ways to take you and to let you have me."
"Oh, you will take, but then you gift yourself to me."
"Yes, but you are gifting yourself already, are you not?"
"I suppose I am." I reached out a hand for her. "When do you need to leave?"
"Very soon. Come. Let us cuddle for a few minutes."
She led me from the table to her living room. We sat down together with her curled into me. She teased me a little, but then she moved her hands to safer places. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't do that. It isn't fair to us."
We sat like that, cuddled together, for a while. It wasn't long enough, but it was a while. Then she spoke softly. "I need you to do some things for me."
"Anything."
"Don't make promises like that. You couldn't possibly keep it."
"What do you need?"
"I need you to forgive the little Loris."
"I don't think so. There's not a thing I can do to get him back, but I'm done treating him like a friend."
"He didn't hurt you, Andromeda."
"I'm going to have nightmares, Charoite, probably for years. Decades. I was already afraid of spiders. What do you think that did to me?"
"Jasmine Brighteyes can help with that," she said. "If you ask."
"She'll charge me something for it."
"Yes. She'll make you forgive the Loris, and she'll make you do my next request."
I sighed. "I'm not forgiving the Loris. I'm not forgiving someone who isn't sorry, and I know he's not sorry. And I'm not taking more challenges, either."
She kiss-licked me briefly before continuing. "I need you to give these other women the same opportunities you have given me."
"I don't want to."
"While I appreciate that, this is a portion of my agreement with Jasmine Brighteyes. It is important to her experiment. That means it is important to the women who come after you. It is important to her. Because she is my mother's ally, it is important to my mother. And if and when you become mine, I want to know you had other choices. I want to know you aren't mine to avoid something horrible instead."
I sighed again. "I'll try. That's the best I can offer."
"You will let them touch. You will accept challenges, if they are offered."
"I don't think so."
"You will let Jasmine Brighteyes talk to you about the Loris, and if she asks you to accept the challenges, you will do so, and you will do your best, even if your best isn't very good."
"I always do my best, but I'm done with the challenges."
"Well, you agreed to actively participate in this experiment. Which means doing your best to give these other women a chance."
"You can't possibly want this. You want me to refuse. I'd want you to refuse."
"I think I'm winning, Andromeda."
"You are," I whispered.
"I am confident. But you need choice. I do not want you to be trapped into accepting a life with me. Right now, if you had to choose, you would pick me, but you would always resent having little choice. I do not want to be resented."
"I wouldn't."
"I'm not sure either of us really believes that, Andromeda. On these two things, I need you to do what I'm asking."
I thought about it. "I'll give the women a chance. But several times I have asked the events be fun, and I have severely regretted playing."
She pulled my lips to her and kiss-licked me. It was sweet, but not full of our usual passion.
"Will you shackle me again and take me to my cell."
"No. You know how to find your cell."
"You're going to make me go dressed like this, aren't you?"
"Yes, yes I am. And then you have a choice."
"Oh?"
"If you continue to wear these clothes, you will be livestreamed all night."
"Oh god."
"And I will get to watch you."
"So will everyone else."
"True. I have a long flight. I wonder if you'll give me something to watch. I wonder if you'll do this to please me."
I did.
Discussion
She left. Two weeks later, Dark Skies was taken from me. In between, I accepted any dates offered but told Jasmine there would be no further challenges. For once, she didn't argue with me, but that would change.
I met a Hobble named Evergreen. Hobbles weren't green, and she didn't explain her name. She invited me to a meal in town, and we stayed late, talking. She was smart and funny, and I had a good time.
It grew late, and she asked me, "Could you see us together?"
I looked her up and down. We'd been doing some touching. Well, I'd let her touch me. She'd been tentative about it, but it had felt nice nevertheless.
"We just met."
"So that is a diplomatic way of saying 'No'."
"No. It means we just met, and I would prefer to get to know you better before answering that."
"You can't answer now?"
"Is there a rush?"
"My time is precious. If you cannot see us together, I do not wish to waste it."
"I'm not sure what to tell you. I have had a nice time tonight. I believe I would enjoy spending more time with you. I hoped you felt the same way." I looked her up and down again. "And while I don't typically go too far on a first date, I wouldn't mind if you were a little more forward, but perhaps your species is as reserved about that as mine."
"I don't know what you mean."
"Well, I'm not talking about sex on the first date. Does your species kiss? How do you express physical affection, short of sex?"
"You want sex with me?" Her voice rose.
"Well, like I said, not tonight. But if we were going to build a life together, of course I do."
"But that's just..." She shut up.
"I see," I said after a moment. "Yes, I can answer your question. If that is your reaction, then no, we would not be compatible. Thank you for the lovely evening, Evergreen."
She left me sitting there on her sofa, and ten minutes later, the guards were there for me. Jasmine's phone call arrived seconds after they left me in my cell. She was laughing.
"You're not supposed to be watching!"
"She contacted me, appalled. Apparently humans are disgusting creatures who demand sex."
"Laugh it up. I didn't demand a thing. Is her entire species like her?"
"No. About half. The other are voracious things. Not a moment of sleep."
"Well, if you introduce me to any more, make it that kind."
"I was under the impression you weren't interested in sex with any aliens."
"Funny," I said. "Very funny. It's the male aliens in whom I have no interest. Tell me. Are Catseye prudes, too?"
"No, we are not. But you couldn't handle a Catseye. Our tentacles go everywhere. Good night, Andromeda."
And so to demonstrate, my very next date was with a Catseye named Lotus Redglow. Yes, her eyes were red orbs. It was quite an uncanny color, but I decided I liked it. And I liked her.
She liked that I knew and accepted Catseye hugs.
We met when Jasmine invited me to lunch in her apartment. Shortly after arriving, Lotus and Clover joined us. At first, I thought it was Peony, an
d I was ready to be ecstatic that she had come to visit. I was quite disappointed when I learned otherwise.
"You are not happy to meet me?" asked Lotus.
"It's not that," I said. "I thought you were Clover's wife. I was happy for her, thinking she had come to visit. I apologize. Yes, I am happy to meet you."
"Well, I shall not be offended you wished for your friend to be free to enjoy her wife's touch. Will it offend you if I touch you?"
"No."
For the meal, we sat on two sides of the table, Jasmine across from me and Lotus beside me. She kept the two nearest tentacles on me the entire time. Partway through the meal she asked if I were as comfortable as I appeared.
"Are you marking my back?"
She leaned over to look. "Perhaps. I should stop."
"Only if you don't like how I taste," I said. "You haven't said. Are you here for a mating candidate?"
"Possibly. I am here to get to know you."
Jasmine hadn't mentioned that, but her tentacles were quivering when I looked at her.
"I see," I said. "I'd like that."
At that, one of her tentacles wrapped around my arm and squeezed tightly, holding me firmly. "I am glad." I spent the rest of the meal with that tentacle there, the other on my back with the tip thrown over my shoulder.
But it was not a leisurely meal. We had more events to run, after all. But as we were leaving, Lotus said, "I want to see more of you."
"I'd like that. This afternoon will be long, and I will be tired afterwards. But I will swim and then need a meal."
"Swim? In water?"
"Yes. You could join me."
"Catseye don't swim."
"Some Catseye wade in the shallow water. It is only to here." I touched my waist. "Others sit at the edge and dangle their feet in the water. I've been offering to teach Jasmine Brighteyes to swim, but she hasn't summoned the bravery to trust me. Even when I trust her with far more than a little swimming." I smiled. "How brave are you, Lotus?"
It turns out she wasn't very brave. She wasn't at all brave, in fact, and she not only didn't arrive for swimming, she didn't show up for our dinner afterwards.
"So," I said to Jasmine. "She really, really didn't like what she saw."
"Maybe you'll stop trying to get Catseye to swim."
"You are all hypocrites. You do what you do to us, but you're afraid to get your feet wet, and just the thought sends you running for the hills?"
"Yes," she confirmed.
I sighed. "I'll stop. But god damn it, Jasmine. I love to swim. I love to water ski. I love to boat. I'm willing to try just about anything. I'm not foolhardy. I don't take stupid risks."
"You downhill ski."
"Millions of people downhill ski," I said. "Haven't you ever tried it?"
"I have, actually. I enjoyed it quite a bit."
"Well, then don't use that as an example of foolhardy behavior." I shook my head. "If all of you are such frightened babies you won't just try something, don't introduce me to any more Catseye."
"I'll keep that in mind, Andromeda. Do you have plans for the evening?"
"Well, I thought I did, but apparently not. Jasmine Brighteyes, you risk being in default of our agreement."
"I have time," she said.
"I think you're doing this on purpose."
"Why would I do that? Enjoy your evening."
* * * *
In the morning, when I went for my swim, I found Jasmine waiting for me near my locker. Her tentacles were out, and they were quivering.
"Is something wrong?" I asked. "You could have messaged me."
"Nothing's wrong," she said. "I wanted to prove something to you."
"What's that?"
"We're not all frightened babies."
I stared at her for a minute then said quietly, "You don't have to do this, Jasmine."
"Yes, I think I do."
"All right," I said. "Let me change."
"I want to ask you something. I have heard humans can carry things from the bottom of the ocean."
"Like what?"
"Maybe five kilograms."
I thought about it. "Yes, we could."
"I'll make a deal with you. There is no one else here. Just us. Skip the suit, and I'll let you take me into the deep water, but I'll sink if you don't help me."
I stepped closer. Her entire body was trembling. "Jasmine, you're scared out of your mind, aren't you?"
Slowly she nodded. "Will you help me? I want to do this, but I'm going to need help."
"We'll go slowly," I said. I moved to my locker, stripped off my clothes, then took her hand.
We started in the shallow end. I took both her hands and walked backwards down the stairs. She stepped onto the first step, and that wasn't so bad. She looked around nervously.
"Jasmine," I said. "Look at me. Let me take the visor off, and you can look into my eyes." She turned to me, then nodded. The visor deactivated and I stepped to the side, setting the visor down at the edge of the pool. Then I stepped back in front of her.
"Wrap your tentacles around my arms if you want." I stepped a little closer, and she did, one around each. "Look into my eyes, or if it helps, you can stare a little lower."
She snorted at that, although her eyes did peek down for a moment. "Maybe you'd let me hold those."
"Yeah, no, I don't think so."
But then I stepped backwards, and she followed. Her tentacles quivered, but she made it all the way into the pool. It wasn't actually the first time she'd been there, but she seemed far more nervous than before.
"Why are you so frightened? You've done this before."
Her eyes flicked to the deep end.
"We don't have to go there," I said.
"I want to," she said. "Will you help?"
"Of course. Let's just walk for a little bit. I like to sink down, but for me, keeping my head above water is the important part."
She surprised me. She had two more tentacles, and she wrapped them across her own shoulders then, together, we sank down into the water.
Then we just walked around a little, walking in circles, and I slowly took her deeper with each circle.
Then I said, "Are you ready to try this?" She didn't say anything, but she nodded. "Okay, stand up," I said. I stood. She stood. "You can pick which ones you use to breathe, right?"
"Yes."
"If they get partially wet, it's okay?"
"Yes."
"Okay, then what I want you to do is bend over a little. Put two tentacles up my arms and across my upper chest here." I patted the top of my chest. "Put the rest across the back of your shoulders."
She cocked her head, but she moved her tentacles.
"Now, give me your hands. If you need to, you can grip the side of the pool." I looked over. "It's right there. If you begin to panic, push off me and grab the edge if you have to. If you push me under, I'll be fine. Trust me." Then I sank down. "Come closer. I'm going to swim on my back and help support you. I'll probably bob a lot, so be careful breathing."
"Are you sure, Andromeda?"
"Come on."
The extra weight of her tentacles meant I had to work, but I did what I could to keep her tentacles out of the water. She went a little wild in her eyes as the water grew deeper, but I said, "If you go under, I'll have you to the edge in seconds. Trust me."
So she nodded. But them she whimpered.
"Try to let your legs float."
"I can't. I'll sink."
"Put a little weight on me. I'm on my tippy toes. I can take a little weight. Let your body sink as low as you can and still breathe. I've got you."
Then I waited, and slowly she gave me just a little of her weight.
"Good. Lean forward. Let your chin get wet. You can let more get wet or even put your face in the water. That will automatically lift your back, keeping your tentacles out."
Then she was floating, supported heavily by me, but her feet were off the bottom. I held her that way.
"
Okay, Jasmine. I'm going to do something. I'm going to do it twice. You'll be fine, but let me know if this is too much." Then I bobbed a few times, like I would once I was swimming. Then I stood again. "That's what's going to happen when I swim. Can you handle it?"
She nodded, so I pulled off the bottom and began swimming on my back, most of my body underneath hers, helping her to swim, kicking with my feet. I bobbed a lot, and it was a little difficult, but soon we were in the deep end.
"How are you doing, Jasmine?"
"You're doing all the work."
"You can help. See how my feet are kicking? I scissors them together. You can do the same thing. It will help. But do it gently at first so you get used to it."
And so we were both kicking. We got to the end and I turned us sideways. We made a slow half circle of the pool until we could stand again. Once we could, she pulled me to her and hugged tightly.
"Are you all right?"
"Yes. Can we do it again?"
So we turned around and retraced our path.
"How are you doing this?" she asked at the end. "We aren't we sinking?"
"Because I'm kicking," I said. "If I stopped, we'd sink. How long can you hold your breath?"
"Several minutes."
"Will you choke if the tentacles get wet?"
"If I try to breathe."
"But you could dip into the water and then get back out?"
"I take baths," she said. "So yes."
"I want to show you something," I said. I led her to the shallow end. "Okay, let me go. You can stand here." I set her to the side, then I ducked under and swam from one side to the other, popped up for air, then swam back to her under the water, surfacing immediately in front of her.
"I think you should try it."
"I couldn't."
"I bet you can." She looked at me uncertainly. "You can stand up any time you want. I'll swim along with you, and if you have any trouble, I'll help you."
"What do I do?"
"Well, remember how we kicked before? You kick the same way. Take a big breath, then sink down and push off against the wall. Do it gently. Then you kick your feet and you sort of cup the water with your hands and push the water behind you. And you can do the same thing with your tentacles, if you want. Just don't scrape against the bottom or it kind of hurts. You can do this, Jasmine."