by Robin Roseau
"Fine. Do you agree to my terms or not?"
"Yes," she said. "But I don't have a way to print the list."
"Then do it by hand. You need paper and a pen."
She huffed. "Fine. Wait here."
* * * *
She was gone only a few minutes, returning with a stack of paper and several pens. I leaned back and watched her print out the names. It was a laborious process, and it was clear she had never hand written a note in English in her life. Finally she looked up at me.
"Give me that," I said. "I'll finish it." I reached over and took the paper from her. She'd finished the names, so I outlined our basic agreement underneath it.
I dictated as I wrote.
Andromeda Hayes will select one name from the names of females on this page. She agrees to become a willing, open, joyous, charming, loving mating candidate to the selected woman for a period of one year. If the chosen person declines her offer, or if at the end of the year, Ms. Hayes wishes to be returned home, she will be allowed to return to her human home with no further ill will or restriction.
I looked up at Jasmine. "Agreed?"
"Agreed."
I made room then added two lines, one on either side of the page. Underneath the one on the left, I printed my name. Under the other, I printed Jasmine's. Then I slid the paper across to her.
"Sign above your name. I'll make my choice and sign it."
She took it from me, read it through, then signed it and slid it back. I hid what I was doing and circled one name, then signed in my place, folded the paper once, and handed it back to her.
"I circled my choice. I consider this a binding agreement. If the woman in question doesn't agree, I presume I will allowed to go home."
"Yes," she said. "That is our agreement."
"Excellent." I leaned back and smiled. "Go ahead."
She unfolded the letter then looked up. "You didn't pick anyone."
"I certainly did. I picked one of the names on the page. I circled that name."
"There are twelve names on this page, and not one is circled."
"No, Jasmine. There are fourteen names. And I circled one."
It took her a good fifteen seconds to realize what I had done.
I had circled her name.
Shock
She looked up, staring at me. "What game are you playing?"
"No game, Honey," I said, butting sugar into my voice. "When do I move in? I presume I'll be moving in, anyway. Your place is better than mine, although maybe you'll let me redecorate."
"You agreed to pick from the list of women who made offers."
"I agreed to pick one of the names on that paper. I did so." I leaned forward and tried to take her hand, but she pulled away from me.
She glowered. "This isn't funny, Andromeda. Pick one, or you're going into the arena."
"I did pick one," I said.
"You set me up! And you think you're going to get away with it? I'm not sending you home."
"Of course you're not, but do you think you could buy me some clothes? Now, when we get married, I want a ceremony. It doesn't have to be big. Just our friends and any immediately family in the solar system. I probably won't invite more than ten people, including my parents. I hope you'll provide transportation. We can have a heck of a destination wedding."
She slammed her hand on the table. "Stop it! We had an agreement." Then she glared at me.
"Jasmine," I said. I gestured to the paper. "Will you marry me?"
She stared.
"I'm making a real offer. It's not a game, Jasmine. I don't need a year, but maybe you do. I like the way you hold me. I like the way you respect me and listen to my opinion. Okay, I don't like every way you treat me, but I hope some of that will change. It's a real offer, Jasmine. And maybe it's all been an act, but I believe you like me. I believe you enjoy our time together. I believe you enjoy holding me. I believe you enjoy looking at me. I believe you've thought about a lot more than looking and holding. I know I have."
I gestured at the paper again. "You're the one who stuck by me. You didn't run away. You're not trying to take me from my parents. You aren't lying to me about important things, as best I can tell. And this solves other problems. I don't leave, so you can keep me on staff. I promise, I won't use our relationship to try to get you to enact changes, although I won't stop fighting for the women, and I'm not sure I won't come home mad at you some days."
"You're serious. This isn't a game?"
"Well, it was sort of a game to get you to agree in writing," I said. "I had to think about that for a while. But no, it's a real offer. I will be your willing, joyous, charming, loving mating candidate."
"Why did you fight about the one year?"
"So you'd compromise about having it written."
She looked down at the page, and then, slowly, she reached across the table with several tentacles, clasping my hands. I looked down and smiled. "Is this your answer?"
She caressed me with the tentacles and then withdrew, and my heart plummeted.
"I can't, Andromeda."
My smile fell. "It's a serious offer, Jasmine."
"I know. I can't."
I closed my eyes and just tried to breathe for a minute. Then I stood up and asked quietly, "I picked a name. She declined. Will you honor our agreement and send me home?"
"You picked a name other than the ones I offered," she said. "You knew you were doing so. There was no subterfuge on my part, but there was on yours. I will allow you to choose a different name."
"I see. I guess it's the arena, then. Pick whomever you want. I hope you would skip Implacs, Ardents, Luxans, and Hobbles. While I liked the Ardents and Luxans, I wasn't remotely attracted to them. And I flat out didn't care for the Implacs and Hobbles I met. Consider this my resignation from my job. May I return to my cell?"
"Pick another name, Andromeda."
"No. I picked a name. I picked the woman who didn't run away from me. I picked the woman who didn't try to deceive me where we'd be living. I picked the woman who didn't ambush my friend and steal her from us. And the rest are laughable choices."
"If I fill the arena, Harp and Jaguar will be there."
"I wonder if they can form a triangle when I refuse to cooperate. Do what you want," I said. "May I return to my cell?"
"Please reconsider."
"You reconsider." I sighed. "Never mind. You don't want me. Why should you be saddled with someone you don't want? I guess that's my fate."
"It's not that I don't want to. It's that I can't."
"Why not?"
"I could take anyone else here," she said. "But I can't take you. The council would string me from the rafters."
"But Sugilite could have me as her third? Well, that means they don't give a shit about what the humans want, but we knew that, didn't we? So fuck the council, and if I'm not worth fighting for, fuck you, too." I turned around and walked to the door. She made me wait for several heartbeats before it opened.
* * * *
She didn't send me back to a regular cell, which surprised me. She didn't disable the visor, which also surprised me.
She also didn't let me leave the cell, once I arrived. That didn't surprise me, though. Nor did she let me communicate with my parents. That didn't surprise me, either.
She let me stew for two days before arriving at my cell. I was lying on the bed, my eyes closed, listening to music. I didn't hear her arrive or realize anyone was there until the music ended suddenly.
I didn't bother opening my eyes. "Did you come to tell me my fate?"
"I came to beg you to reconsider."
"No." I opened my eyes and turned to face her. She was sitting on a chair that wasn't normally there.
"I can have Smooth Seas here in a week. In a week and ten minutes, you'll belong to her."
"I do not choose her, and our agreement means I go to the arena. Are you going to violate our agreement?"
"As far as I'm concerned, you did."
"I have no power here
, Jasmine. You'll do whatever you're going to do."
"You could be happy with any of several of these choices. Why won't you pick one?"
I rolled over, offering her my back. "When do my potential challengers arrive?"
"You're being foolish."
"I presume you aren't interested in my offer or you'd be willing to fight for me. Please let me know when my challengers arrive. I'll want to look pretty."
She sat there for a while, neither of us speaking. Eventually she asked quietly, "Are you all right?"
"Not particularly," I said. "But I really don't want comfort from you right now. If you aren't coming to accept my offer, I'd really rather not see you."
"I've reauthorized your access to the pool."
"With or without a swimsuit?"
"With."
"Will I be punished if I wear a robe in the halls?"
"No."
"Thank you. Please let me know when I can expect to next see the inside of the arena."
She didn't move right away. "Do you want to see the list?"
"No."
* * * *
I didn't go swimming that day. Instead I waited until the dead of night. The pool was empty when I arrived, and so I had a nice, private swim. That felt very good.
I did the same thing the next night, although I was a little surprised there wasn't anyone being opportunistic about trying to catch me there.
And it was on the following day I received a message.
Eleven days.
The third night, there were a few people when I arrived at the pool. I swam anyway and ignored any efforts to draw me into conversation. There was a particularly pushy Luxan, so I finally turned to her.
"I'm coming late at night because I don't want to talk to anyone. It's possible everyone here came in from America, and so this is a pre-bed swim, but I suspect at least some of you came after watching my pattern for the last two days. Maybe I'm wrong, but if I'm right, it's yet another attempt by you ETs to invade my private life. Well, I can't stop you from swimming, but I don't owe any of you a conversation. Leave me alone."
She backed off, and word got around besides. Good.
After that, it was hit or miss whether there would be people in the pool, but except for one specific example, they left me alone.
With seven days until my arena event, when I arrived for my swim, Clover and Peony were there. Oh, they weren't in the water, but they were beside the pool, clearly waiting for me. I came to a stop and stared.
"Do you hate us?" Clover asked.
"No," I said.
"It's not too late to change your mind."
"I may not have any power, and I can't stop you from forcing me into a life I don't want. But I don't have to actively cooperate in the process. So you're here to browbeat me?"
"We're here to remind you that you have friends."
"I'm sorry for abandoning you. I tried to make my placement here permanent. I think that's the only reason Jasmine hasn't let you go."
"Is that why you did it? For me?"
"No. I wanted to stay here. With her. I guess that's not to be, so it doesn't matter. It won't be any of my choices in the arena. But I only have to go with her for three months. I can last three months."
"A year."
"No. A year if I picked from the page. Jasmine broke our agreement, so it's three months."
"A year. Whoever wins gets you for a year."
"Well, it will be the most miserable year she'll ever spend. I consider it self-inflicted."
"It could be the Octal."
"Only if everyone else is the size of a Loris. Well, I suppose they don't have to fight. But I can beat the Octal if it's actually a fight like the other arena events. And I won't hold back."
"She might come with her entire family."
"I'd consider that cheating, but what else is new? That's what Jasmine does, isn't it?"
"If you hate her so much, why did you pick her?"
"I don't hate her." I shook my head. "I'm going to swim. It was nice to see you both."
I stepped around them, and I never asked for a hug.
No one bothered me after that.
Final Challenge
Day zero arrived. Piper and Dilly arrived shortly after breakfast. I sat up and looked at them.
"I'm to fight like this?"
"We don't know about that," Piper said. "We're taking you to the conference room. You may keep the robe."
I let them shackle me.
Once we were in the conference room, they secured me to the table and chair and left. A minute or so later, the visor brightened. I was alone. When no one appeared immediately, I attempted to access the visor to give myself something to do.
I was locked out. That didn't particularly surprise me.
I spent a few more minutes looking around then finally closed my eyes and slouched in the chair. Fine. Let her have her power games.
They kept me there for a while, a long while. I zoned out but was startled when a voice asked, "Are you ignoring me again?"
My eyes snapped open and I swiveled my head. Sugilite was seated across from me.
"You're quiet."
"I am Kitsune."
I considered my choices. I decided I could be polite, but I wasn't going to aim for charming.
"I was not intentionally ignoring you. My eyes were closed, and I did not hear you." I didn't, however, apologize. "What can I do for you, Sugilite?"
"I wanted to talk to you about several things, Andromeda."
"Of course." I looked down at my hands, making a point. "I am not sure how I can help you, however."
"Let us start with my daughter's project."
"Ah."
"She told me what you told her."
"Good, but I'm sure it wasn't anything you hadn't considered."
"It wasn't. It was, however, something she hadn't considered."
"Ah."
She waited, perhaps to see if I would say more. When I didn't, she asked, "Is that all you have to say?"
"I could offer criticism, but I am sure I don't understand all the factors." I barely held back a snarky comment.
"Oh, please do."
"Well, it seems like a very, very foolish thing to let her talk to any humans about this project when you are already able to predict the likely reaction if word were to get out."
"You're not going to tell anyone."
"I was thinking of a leak out of NASA." Then I paused. "Was that a threat?"
"What?" she asked. "Oh. No. A statement in confidence you will be discrete. Most decidedly not a threat."
"All right. Thank you."
"How sure are you?"
"That humans will go absolutely ape-shit crazy if word were to get out? One hundred percent sure. Maybe not all humans, but almost certainly a majority, maybe a crushingly overwhelming majority."
She nodded. "Thank you for telling her."
"So you didn't have to?"
"I didn't realize she was going to start talking to humans about it," Sugilite replied. "I hoped she would get to know humanity better and would come to the conclusion herself. She hasn't spent much time here. She hasn't seen the xenophobia. She spends time with the scientists she encounters, and she spent time with you. But other than you, she hasn't socialized with humans. She hasn't tried walking the streets of your cities. She hasn't a clue."
"It's not a difficult concept."
"No, but she hasn't faced the reality yet. I've been sheltering her, I believe. That is what a mother does."
"I suppose so."
"If she were permanently based on the station, would you have rejected her?"
"No."
"She made a good offer for your parents."
"It came too late," I replied.
"And so you would accept what is about to happen rather than accept her? It's not like she'll be in the arena this afternoon."
"What are you doing here?"
"I was in the neighborhood and wished to talk to you."
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"Yeah, that was coincidence. Are you going to tell me the truth?"
"Maybe I'm here to reiterate my offer and see if I could sweeten the pot for you, to use a human idiom."
"Strike two, although that would be an intriguing conversation. I don't know how you could sweeten from your earlier offer, but you're far smarter than I am. I bet you even have something in mind."
"I could threaten you."
"You could. I have no power. There are many things you could do. I can't stop you. Is that what you'll do?"
"No. Just making conversation. Why don't you make an offer? What do I have to give you to convince you to pick a name from the original list?"
"Excluding Jasmine, I presume, but you aren't going to put me into a fresh panic regarding my parents."
"Correct. Youth and beauty? Riches? What would it take?"
"All right. What would it take? Tell humanity what happens here. I'll then accept whomever you pick."
She squeaked. "We know that's not going to happen."
"Ah well. Then make a counteroffer."
"All right. I believe you care about the planet. Pick an extinct animal."
"Saber tooth tiger."
"Oh, that's a good choice." She cocked her head. "I cannot promise this will work. If not, you may need to make another choice. If we can obtain a DNA sample, we can bring the cat back from extinction."
"Oh shit. Seriously?"
"Seriously. As I said, it depends upon if we can find a DNA sample. I know we have some for wooly mammoths. More recent extinctions may be easier. We'll bring back, say, a thousand genetically diverse specimens. After that, it's up to humanity."
"Is that a serious offer?"
"Yes."
"Why? It's ridiculous. You can do anything you want to me or anyone else on the planet. You're offering this if I offer to choose, but you won't do it just because it's the right thing to do?"
"Who decides it's the right thing?" she asked. "They are extinct, but it makes room for other species. Species come. Species go. That is the way of life."
"It's still a ridiculous offer."
"Perhaps it is. Do you accept?"
"I pick a name, and you bring the saber tooth back to life."
"If we can obtain a DNA sample. If not, we would pick another species. If we cannot agree on a species, then we will offer to bring back from near extinction five still living."