Indicating the log he said, “Let’s sit here for a while. I’ll give Bruno a whistle to let him know we’ve stopped.”
David put his fingers in his mouth and signaled to Bruno. The dog stopped and looked back. David watched him sniff seaweed at the water’s edge and knew Bruno would roll in the smelly seaweed and be covered in sand and salt.
Mia leaned over and idly ran her fingers through the sand.
“David, something happened which made me feel really sad. I didn’t think I would ever be able to recover but—God spoke to me.”
David lifted his eyebrows in question. “What do you mean God spoke to you?”
Mia continued in the same matter of fact voice that puzzled David.
“He said, ‘Come to me’, so I did. I can’t believe how simple it was, I talked with God. I know Jesus loves me,” her lips curved in a small smile.”
David assessed her face. She looked tranquil, soft and there was an openness in her expression he hadn’t seen before.
Picking up her hand he gently rubbed his thumb over the soft skin.
His eyes flooded and he unashamedly cried.
Mia looked at their hands and he felt her fingers tense, then relax.
“Mia, I’m so—thankful.” He swiped at his tears and laughed. His heart pounded as the meaning of her decision flooded his mind.
She was saved.
“Can you tell me everything? What happened to make you sad?” His eyes pleaded with her to tell him.
“I remembered my father had done things to me he shouldn’t have.” Mia gasped when she realized what she’d said.
Pulling her hand free she leaped to her feet.
David squinted and it seemed like the sun’s brightness had intensified.
Mia was shuffling her feet through the sand, and he knew she was poised to bolt at any moment like a frightened deer.
She didn’t look up as she spoke and David’s chest tightened.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to tell you. Look, do you think we can go?” she begged.
David’s heart raced as he watched her, willing her to turn back to him. What did she mean by her statement? What had her father done? He didn’t want to believe she’d been hurt by the one person who was meant to protect her.
Raking his hand through his hair, he stood and walked to the water’s edge.
Anger was building within him and he felt his face heat. How could her father hurt her? How dare he hurt her?
He felt her hand softly touch his arm.
“David, are you all right?” Mia’s voice sounded anxious and he realized he’d allowed himself to let his thoughts move from her to her father.
Taking a calming breath he turned to her. “I don’t know what your father did. I can only guess. Sweetheart, I’m so sorry.”
His eyes held her captive and he allowed his hands to hang loosely at his side.
Mia watched him and briefly closed her eyes.
David’s mouth softened. She seemed so small and fragile.
“I don’t know if it’s the right time to tell you, but I care about you. It kills me to know you’ve been hurt in this way.”
“I—I thought if you knew you’d be disgusted by me,” she whispered.
His arms ached to hold her, to shelter her from further harm. He brushed a tear from her cheek and shook his head.
“Never think that. You could never disgust me, you’re a beautiful person. I’m sorry you had to go through that, but I’m pleased you had that conversation with Jesus Christ.”
She wrung her hands and her gaze shifted.
How could he show her she could trust him? He felt the importance of not doing anything that would rush or confuse her.
He turned and called Bruno.
Once he’d hooked Bruno’s collar he handed the lead to Mia and they walked up the beach to the car.
They traveled in silence most of the way home and when David pulled up in front of Mia’s house she turned and placed her hand on his arm.
“Thank you for not pushing me for more information.”
She opened the car door then swiveled around. “Are you coming in to get Bruno’s bed and the rest of his gear?”
David noted the tilt of her chin and the steely control she had over herself. He ignored her question, got out of the car and opened the back door for Bruno.
David’s lips twitched in the beginning of a smile as Mia bent to say goodbye to Bruno.
He whistled a special note and Bruno immediately leaped to his side.
That Mia was annoyed he’d interrupted her goodbye was evident by the way she crossed her arms and glared at him.
“Bruno, you know I love you, but I have a job for you. You see, Mia is very special to me and if I could I would stay here with her, just to make sure she’s okay, but somehow I think she wouldn’t be too happy about that.”
Bruno nudged him with his salty paw.
“How do you feel about staying here with Mia for a while?” Pausing, his eyes questioned Mia. David smiled and continued, “I can come and visit you and it would make me feel a lot happier knowing she wasn’t on her own right now. What do you say?”
Bruno turned his head and looked at Mia as if he had understood.
Mia licked her lips and he watched her blink back her tears. “You’d let Bruno stay here with me?”
David nodded.
“Why, David?” She looked uncertain.
“I know you’re okay on your own, but for now can you humor me, let him stay with you? I think I would sleep a whole lot better knowing Bruno is lying on the floor by your bed.”
Trying desperately to get his point across, David pointed to Bruno. “Look, he already loves you, and if it helps, it’s no great sacrifice to him.”
Mia’s eyes flooded and she walked into David’s arms and hugged him.
He gently held her while she cried.
“I don’t know what to say. Thank you so much. I promise to give him back, but right now it would be a great help having him with me.”
“You don’t need to say anything, it’s okay—it’s what I want to do. I think I’ll go and let you get inside. I’ll talk to you later.”
David walked around his car, got in and drove off, leaving a stunned Mia.
Chapter 17
The churning in his stomach caused Jonathan to bend over. How long had it been since he’d seen Mia? Jonathan paced and gripped his side.
What a waste of time going to the doctor had been—of course he was stressed, who wouldn’t be? The more time he spent with Judy the more impossible it became.
He hated it. What was with her anyway, always talking in riddles? Jonathan was sure things were going to explode around him.
Why did Margaret have to go and die? Things had been so much better when she was alive, and now everything had gone haywire.
He’d call Mia and ask her to come around. She’d never been this distant from him before. The pain in his stomach intensified and Jonathan grimaced.
Could she be remembering what he’d done to her? Surely she’d have said something.
I will bring hidden things to light.
Standing completely still, Jonathan shivered. Where had that thought come from? This was ridiculous; he had nothing to be ashamed of. Okay, maybe in the past, but the past was the past and it didn’t affect him now.
Picking up the phone he dialed Mia’s home number and waited for her to answer. The phone rang until her voice came on asking the caller to leave a message. Jonathan hung up and dialed her mobile number.
Why didn’t she pick up? Had she seen his number and decided to ignore the call? His fingers shook as he replaced the phone.
His hand moved to rub his stomach and his head slumped.
If Margaret were here she’d know what to do.
~~~
The missed call disturbed Mia. What was she going to do about her father? Did she want to confront him? What would this achieve? When she thought of talking to him she felt something gr
ip her, something that wanted revenge.
Disgust brought a foul taste to her mouth and she swallowed. Four weeks of counseling and she still felt lost.
Jesus, I’m struggling here. Yesterday I raised my voice at Uncle Robert and the look of sadness on his face just about destroyed me.
My smile feels false and my sense of humor seems a thing of the past. I feel like punching something and screaming at the top of my voice.
Mia shuddered as she recalled the words her counselor had challenged her with. ‘Unforgiveness is like a cancer, infiltrating your body, poisoning every cell until it’s consumes you.’
Panic gripped her. Did she want to be a bitter woman, obsessed with anger and hatred?
What if she never laughed again? But how could she ever trust him?
Rummaging through her bag she found the piece of paper she’d scribbled on.
‘You can forgive and not trust. Imagine someone smashes your knee with a hammer. You have surgery and lots of physiotherapy to get the knee working again. This person then comes to you and asks for forgiveness. You forgive them. One day you’re with them and you see they have a hammer in their hand. What will you do?’
Mia straightened as understanding flooded her.
Forgiveness didn’t mean placing yourself in a place of danger. She had a choice whether she allowed her father to be involved in her life. Forgiving him didn’t mean she had to trust him. Trust was earned.
Exhausted, Mia collapsed on her bed. She closed her eyes and told her shoulders to relax.
What about David? She liked him. But what if their relationship got serious, what if she allowed herself to fall in love with him? What if they got married and had a daughter?
Her mother hadn’t been able to keep her safe. Would she be any different?
She squeezed her pillow as a jolt of fear moved through her.
Flinging the pillow across the room she jumped up and moved across the room to gaze in the mirror.
What she saw made her angry. The shadows under her eyes spoke of long sleepless nights. Now she was allowing fear to tell her all men were dangerous.
Gripping the dresser she spoke to her reflection. “I will not let what happened to me sabotage the rest of my life. David is not like my father, he’s a good man and he cares about me. He’s my friend.”
She’d go and see him.
~~~
The garage door was open and the sound of David’s deep husky voice singing along with the radio drew her. Peeping around the corner, Mia smiled as she saw the mess. It was easy to see he was having a clean up.
David looked up and saw her. The smile that immediately spread across his face brought warmth to her heart.
He dusted his hands on his jeans as he came to greet her. “Hey, lovely lady, this is a nice surprise.”
“Hi. Would you like to go out for a coffee with me?” Mia felt awkward and shy. She’d never asked a man to go out with her before and this seemed like asking him on a date.
“Sounds great. Can you give me a few minutes to change?”
She nodded and went to wait in the garden.
The grin David was wearing as he backed his car out was contagious and Mia found herself laughing. He always seemed to be so constant, unwavering in his mood. Mia realized this was something she was learning to trust.
“Right, where are we going?”
“I thought we could drive to the point and go to the café up there. What do you think?”
Mia thought the drive would give her time to get her thoughts together.
“Sounds good to me.”
As David drove, Mia talked easily to him about her struggles with her father.
“When I saw his number on my phone I felt guilty for not answering, then angry that I felt guilty. It’s like I’m on a roller coaster.”
“I’d like to smash the phone down his throat.”
David’s words stopped Mia in mid-sentence.
“David I—” David interrupted her and she noticed his knuckles were white as he gripped the steering wheel.
“You have nothing to feel guilty about. You don’t owe him a thing.”
“I know that. Look, let’s forget I brought it up.” Looking out the window she drummed her fingers on the upholstery and tried to ignore the frustration building in her.
The silence in the car became heavy and Mia was determined she wouldn’t be the one to break it. At the touch of his hand she turned towards him.
“I’m sorry. You don’t need to deal with my anger, forgive me.”
Her eyes widened at his words. “David, there’s so much happening in my head right now, I can’t try and make things right for everyone else as well.”
“I know. I’m sorry.”
“Stop staying that.” Mia wanted to stay annoyed but his smile triggered an answering one on her lips.
“That’s better, now I feel forgiven.”
“I’m not sure what to do. Do you think I should call him?” If only someone would tell her what to do. She recalled saying the same thing in counseling and her counselor’s response hadn’t helped. It was her decision.
She sucked in her lips as she realized she’d asked David to tell her what to do.
Looking away from him, she directed with her hand. “There’s a parking space.”
David parked and turned off the car. His hand played with the car keys in the ignition and she listened to them jingle.
When he looked up his eyes were solemn. “I don’t know if you should phone him. Everything in me says don’t have anything more to do with him, but honestly I think it has to be your decision. Have you spoken to Robert?”
“No. I haven’t told him Dad called and I don’t want to. He’s been so wonderful, but it’s so hard for him because he wants to make everything better for me, and he can’t.”
Mia hesitated and then launched into her idea. “I’ve been thinking about calling Dad and making a time to see him, but—I don’t want to see him on my own and I was wondering if you’d come with me.”
He squinted at her request. “Me?”
“Yes. I want him to know I remember.”
“I’m not sure how he’s going to react when you tell him. What if he doesn’t say what you want him to?” David stared straight into her eyes.
“I know I can’t have any expectations of what he’ll say or do. Obviously it would be a relief if he acknowledged it, but I’m not expecting anything like that.”
“It sounds like you’ve already made up your mind to talk to him.”
Shrugging, Mia reached down and picked up her handbag from beside her seat. “Let’s go in and order our coffee.”
Their coffees arrived and Mia’s fingers fidgeted with her cup. The sound of the cup clanging on the saucer stopped her hand.
David reached over and touched her fingers, the look in his eyes warmed her skin.
Sitting back, she moved her hands to rest on her lap. “Do you remember at Bible study a couple of weeks ago, we were talking about how the truth sets you free?”
When David nodded she continued. “I went home and continued reading about how God is light and that there’s no darkness in him. I think it went on to say something about if we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness then we lie and don’t live by the truth.”
As David opened his mouth to speak Mia lifted her hand to stop him.
“Keeping this secret locked away in my mind has somehow kept me a prisoner. I don’t want to live in the dark any more!” Her voice became stronger, she sat up straighter and her hands lifted to rest on the table. “I want to be free to say to my father that what he did was wrong and it hurt me, hurt me a lot.”
David leaned forward and seemed too big for his chair. “I’m proud of you.”
Mia soaked up his words and allowed their meaning to water her heart. She swallowed past the lump in her throat and looked at her hands.
“I don’t want to pretend any more that we were a happy family. I don’t wan
t to hurt my father but—”
Her mouth fell open at her words. Her hair swung around her face and Mia absently tucked a loose strand behind her ear.
“At least if I confront him then it’s out in the open and he could seek forgiveness from God.”
“You’re thinking about his salvation? You amaze me. Here I am thinking of teaching him a lesson and you’re— ”
“Don’t say it, I know what you’re thinking and I’m not so great. I don’t want to be responsible for not giving him the opportunity to do something about it, that’s all.”
Mia bent her head and wondered what David would do, whether he’d agree to come with her or not. She didn’t know what she’d do if he said no, but she was trying to trust God.
“Mia, I’m honored you asked me but my reaction to your question makes me wonder if I’m the right person.”
Mia wished she hadn’t asked him. How could she put him on the spot like this?
David took a swallow of his coffee then rubbed his chin. “I don’t know if having a man there may be too confrontational for your father and his reaction may become defensive. If you go with a woman then maybe he’ll be more responsive to the truth.”
Nodding, Mia replied, “Okay.” It wasn’t the answer she wanted but understood how difficult it was for him.
“Lets pray now.” David’s voice was steady and strong and Mia looked around at all the people in the cafe and wondered how they’d pray together in such a situation.
David explained that they didn’t need to close their eyes and no one would even realize what they were doing.
Mia hadn’t prayed with anyone except Uncle Robert and the thought of doing so with David was a bit daunting.
Relief filled her when he said, “How about I pray and you nod if you agree with what I’m saying?”
Mia nodded and they both laughed.
“Lord, Mia and I would like your wisdom. Can you show her the best way to go about talking to her father. Go before her and make the way smooth—thank you, Jesus. Amen.”
Chapter 18
Anchored Page 9