by Jodi Redford
“Completely agree. I don’t have the heart to tell her, though.”
He brushed a lock of hair away from her eye. “Everything okay between you two? I didn’t come out too early, did I?”
She rested her cheek against his chest. “You’re a sweet man to worry about such things, McHorny. And yes, we did.” She traced the stitching on his shirt, the warm solidness of his muscles and the way his nipples poked invitingly against his snug tee nearly derailing her train of thought. “I’ve decided I’m going to give this acting business a shot.” She peeked up at him. “That’s if you don’t mind me stealing your spotlight.”
Rather than volleying her teasing with a little of his own like she’d expected, he dropped his gaze. The tension radiating from him chilled her insides. “You don’t want me to do it.”
He jerked his focus back up to her. “No, I absolutely do.”
“Then I don’t understand what’s wrong.”
He swallowed, visibly struggling with something. Her stomach twisted, and she had no clue why. All she knew was that whatever was tormenting Grady, it was a complete gut punch for her too. Because she couldn’t stand seeing him looking lost and defeated. Gripping his hand, she offered him the same encouragement he’d given her last night. “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere.”
A tremor coursed through him. “I have trouble reading.” It took him an endless moment to meet her eye. “That’s putting it lightly. I can barely fill out an employment application form, that’s how fucking bad it is. You would have figured all of this out real quick once we started shooting, but it's better I tell you now so you know what you’re getting yourself into.”
The need to comfort and soothe him outweighing all else, she stroked his arm. “And what is it you think I’d be getting myself into?”
“I have anxiety attacks. You saw the tail end of one yesterday at the club.”
She nodded. “I have those too. A lot. Maybe we can work on overcoming them together.”
His fingers tightened around hers and he ducked to kiss her forehead. “You already help me. More than you’ll ever know.”
“Well, now I can be extra helpful. For starters, I’ll work with you on your reading. I certainly have tons of material we can use.”
He stared at her like she was the most fascinating creature he’d ever beheld. “You’d do that?”
“I’d do absolutely anything for you, McHorny,” she promised fiercely, echoing Kait’s earlier avowal.
He appeared dumbstruck and shaken by her words. “No one has ever done anything like that for me.”
She frowned. “What about your teachers?”
“I went to a school where there were fifty kids to a class. They did their best, but they didn’t have a ton of time or patience for someone with dyslexia. It was easier to just let me skate through and graduate. And with my mom being sick, and then the cancer—” He broke off, obviously too emotional to finish.
She squeezed him tight. “It’s okay. I’m here.” She felt the staggering importance of those words, more than ever. They’d both lost a loved one, and the gaping hole left in their absence was a physical ache that would never disappear. She pulled back and caressed his jaw. “What about your dad? You never talk about him.”
The tension that descended on Grady was more telling than words and pretty much confirmed the terrible suspicion she’d harbored for the last year but hadn’t known how to approach with him. She rubbed his shoulder, offering a lifeline to help him through the darkness. He closed his eyes for a moment, released a shaky breath. And then he freed the words. “The first time he beat me was the day of my mom’s funeral. I think he waited until she was gone because he knew she’d leave him if he ever raised a hand to me.”
Moisture welling in her eyes, she wrapped him in another hug. “I’m so sorry you had to go through that.” She peered up at him as the dam of her tears broke. “Was there nobody who you could go to? Who could stop the abuse?”
“I have family. But the only one I ever told was my cousin, Harper. And that wasn’t until a couple years ago.”
She stared at him. “You kept it to yourself all that time?”
He flushed, apparently misreading her shock as criticism. “You don’t know what it’s like, Charlie. Having someone beat and bully you, until you convince yourself you’re a worthless piece of shit. It twists your mind and plays fucking head games with you. I didn’t want anyone to know...because I was ashamed. This is a major breakthrough for me, even being able to tell you all this stuff.” His features softened, but not the intensity of his gaze. “I’m opening up to you because I don’t want to hide that shit from you. You’re way too important to me to allow that wall to build between us.”
His words struck dead center in her heart. Every single thing coming out of his mouth was true. He wasn’t the only one guilty of putting those first destructive bricks in the wall. But he was at least putting in the necessary work of tearing it down. She owed it to him—to them—to get out the chisel and bust through that remaining barrier. No matter how much the thought of it made her stomach cramp. “I do know, Grady. Because I was bullied too. And it nearly killed me.”
CHAPTER TEN
Getting through this would probably be the toughest task of her life. “I think we better sit down for this.”
“You’re scaring me, Charlie.”
“I know. And I don’t mean to. I just need a moment to compose myself.” She took his hand and led him to the stone bench situated near the fountain. The scent of lavender drifted from the adjacent flowerbed, offering minimal calm for her nerves. She took a seat and patted the space next to her. Grady immediately obeyed the silent request.
She didn’t know where to begin, so she started from there. The beginning. “Two years ago, when I first got into the audio business, I met a client who I really clicked with. Jordan was handsome and charming and seemed to really like me. He eventually asked me out and I said yes. Our first date went exceptionally well, and I agreed to see him again. We weren’t intimate at first. That wouldn’t happen for at least another few weeks. But he made it very clear that he wanted to be, and I was falling for him. Taking our relationship to the next level seemed like the natural step.”
Even with her emotional distancing with Jordan, it felt strange and awkward to talk about him to Grady. But she had to do this. “About a month or so in, I began to wonder why his apartment barely looked lived in. We’re talking a pullout sofa bed and a TV. That’s it. Yeah, writers can be eccentric, but I still thought it was a little extreme. I asked him about it a few times, and he always said he didn’t have a lot of money.” She stroked her chin. “And yet he drove a Lexus. Funny, that. The sad thing is I so desperately wanted things to work out between us that I chose to bury my head in the sand and avoid acknowledging the signs.”
“He was married?” There was no mistaking the anger in Grady’s tone.
“Engaged.”
“Still makes him a motherfucking asshole in need of a dick punch.”
She gave Grady a wry smile. “You might want to swing that one by Kait so she can add it to her threat repertoire.”
“Only if she agrees to hold the jackass down while I make good on the threat.”
“Trust me, she’d love to be your wing-woman there. But it’d require you both flying to Alaska since I heard that’s where he last moved to. Anywho, I’m getting ahead of myself. Roughly another month passed when a strange woman showed up on my doorstep and introduced herself as Jordan’s fiancé. Then she threw a bunch of photos in my face and informed me that she was about to destroy my life.”
“Photos?”
“Yep. Turned out that that good ole Jordan was a closet Chubby Chaser and had been secretly taking pictures of me while I was getting dressed...eating...or in the shower...you name it, he had the jackoff material in spades to continue getting his rocks off for at least the next century—because apparently sleeping with me wasn’t enough for him.”
&nb
sp; “I want to kill that fucker.” Grady dug his cell phone from his pocket.
“What are you doing?”
“Looking up flights to Alaska.”
Sighing, she plucked his cell phone out of his hands and set it down on the other side of her. She didn’t trust him not to grab it if it was within his reach. Sucking in a deep breath, she mentally prepared for the next part. Out of all of it, it was what triggered her anxiety the most. “For weeks I lived in fear of what Jordan’s fiancé would do. By that time he’d disappeared and I couldn’t get him on the phone. I was completely in the dark and helpless. Then the hits began showing up on my website. Hundreds of them on a daily basis. But I wasn’t getting any new client requests corresponding to the activity. In the back of my mind, I knew it had to be something to do with whatever destruction she had planned for me. So I clicked one of the backtrack links.”
Despite her best attempt to control her emotions, a shiver wracked her body. Grady scooted closer and cuddled her against him. “You don’t have to say anything more.”
“No, I do.” She dragged in another steadying breath and released it slowly. The tension began to ease. She suspected that had as much to do with Grady holding her than anything else. “She’d set up a website. All of Jordan’s pictures of me were there for the world to see.”
“Motherfucker.”
“I, of course, couldn’t prove that it was her, but who else would do it? Not to mention would have access to those images? I was able to get it taken down, but not before virtual hordes of strangers attacked me in every way imaginable.” She shuddered as the countless comments flashed through her head. “I was called fat, disgusting. A chubby cheater who didn’t deserve to take up valuable air space. Then there were the men who wanted to hook up with me—because clearly, I’m a whore who will sleep with anyone. Their words, not mine.”
Grady rocked her in his arms. “Those assholes are lucky I don’t know where they live. I’d hunt them down and ram my fist up their asses. And not in the fun way.”
That earned her chuckle. As painful as it was recounting her nightmare, McHorny made it better. She might never have faced her past if it wasn’t for him. “I went a little crazy during all of it. I stopped eating and didn’t want to do anything besides sleep all day. Then I got really sick and Kait found me unconscious in the bathroom. I woke up the next day in the hospital, no clue of how I got there.”
Grady’s hug tightened on her. “I don’t know what I would have done if I’d lost you.”
“You didn’t even know me then.”
“Doesn’t matter. It would have meant we’d never meet. That we wouldn’t be sitting here together right now.”
His words wrapped around her heart and squeezed. “You’re right. Maybe everything is meant to happen for a reason. If we hadn’t been through the things we have, there’s a possibility we wouldn’t have sought a connection through the phone line.”
With that certainty filling every molecule of her being, she gripped his face and kissed him. What started as a tender embrace quickly escalated into a passionate lip-lock. He hauled her against him, his palms sweeping her spine. And just like that, the past broke from its tethered bonds and drifted toward the far off distance, exactly where it needed to be.
Breathless, she countered the wet glide of Grady’s tongue with her own eager parry. He sucked her bottom lip between his teeth and released it with a succulent popping noise. Every inch of her body felt like it’d been touched by a live wire. In essence, it had—one that kissed like sin and set her panties on fire.
Grady rested his forehead against hers, his ragged breath mingling with hers. “You have no idea how badly I want to be inside you right now.”
Thank God. It made two of them. “Do you have to work tonight?”
“Unfortunately, yes.” He pulled back, his eyes dark and sexy. “Come with me.”
“McHorny, I’m dying to, but you have to work, remember?”
His mouth hitched upward at one corner. “I meant come with me to the club. But we’ll definitely be doing the other kind once I get off.”
She giggled. “You should probably can it with the double entendres before my mind goes any deeper into the gutter.”
“Nu uh, sweetheart. That’s my favorite place for it to be.” He nuzzled her mouth with his. “But what do you think about com—joining me at the club?”
“Nice save there.” She bit her lip, pondering his invitation. “Are you sure I won’t be in the way? I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable with me hanging around.”
“I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t want you there.” He caressed her upper torso, lingering on the outer swells of her breasts. The featherlight touch was both arousing and tormenting. Because she desperately wanted his hands on her bare skin, exploring every inch of her as she returned the favor—all too eagerly. His fingers dipped down to her waist. “You need to understand that everything I do there is only an act. None of it is real. But tonight—with you—it will be.”
Well, how could she say no to that? “Okay, McHorny. Just make sure you make it good.”
He countered her teasing challenge with a slow, smoky grin that went straight to her clit. “Trust me, that won’t be a problem.”
CHAPTER ELEVEN
They arrived at Sinners roughly forty-five minutes before Grady was due to hit the stage in the opening act. Feeling a bit like a VIP, she slipped through the back entrance with him. He led her to a room where there seemed to be an excess of rowdy activity going on inside, if the chaotic noise level and occasional dropped F bomb were any indication. Grady poked his head inside. “You guys decent?”
A bald man with a shiny gold mouth grill appeared in the doorway. “Like that’s remotely possible.” His gaze skipped to Charlie and his scowl immediately morphed into a broad smile. “Why hello.” He strung the last word out to several syllables.
Grady grunted. “Eyes above the neckline, Frank.”
“I’m not even looking, man.”
“Uh huh.” Grady rubbed the small of her back. “Sweetheart, this is Frank Watkins. He’s the stage manager and all around general shenanigan tamer.”
She extended her hand. “Very nice to meet you, Frank. I’m Charlie.”
Rather than exchange a shake, he lifted her hand and planted a gallant kiss on her knuckles.
“Okay, enough trying to woo my girl.” Grady coaxed her past Frank.
Ridiculously giddy at Grady calling her his girl, she followed him inside the room. She’d never seen so much beefcake crammed into a single space. It was enough to make a gal a little woozy. Though honestly, none of the other men came close to shivering her timbers like McHorny did. He cleared his throat to be heard above the raucous din. “Listen up, yahoos, we have a lady in the house. So no ball scratching or worse for at least the next five minutes.”
She wisely chose not to enquire what the worse might entail. A sinfully gorgeous man who could easily pass for Idris Elba’s twin stepped forward and treated her to another hand kiss before introducing himself as Curtis. “M’lady, please forgive our uncouth ways. We are not used to having such gentle beauty in our presence.”
Grady narrowed his eyes. “Why do you sound like you’re auditioning for Shakespeare?”
Curtis straightened and tossed her a wink. “Because the ladies love it.”
She giggled, thoroughly enjoying the banter. Who knew strippers were so darned adorable?
One by one, the remaining men came up to meet her. By the time Grady finally pulled her away, her head was swimming from name overload and all of that testosterone exposure. He leaned down to kiss her as soon as they cleared the door. Grinning, he smoothed her hair behind her ear. “You look a little dazed.”
“Well duh, you did just kiss me.”
He puffed out his chest. “Oh, is that what it is? I assumed it was from being the center of attention to a bunch of strippers. But I can totally see how my tongue would do it.”
“Hm, is your ego going to
fit in that tight costume of yours?”
“Don’t worry. With a little lubing, I’ll fit just fine.”
Oh, my. “You’re a very naughty Thundercat, McHorny.”
“Like you don’t love it.”
She did. There wasn’t a single thing about him she didn’t love.
Truthfully, it scared her to no small degree, these feelings for him. To open yourself up to someone, you also had to invite in the possibility of hurt and heartache. She knew that all too well. But like her decision to no longer be governed by her vulnerabilities, she wouldn’t run from this.
He escorted her to the front of the club. The doors hadn’t yet opened to the eager throng of ladies she’d noticed camped outside earlier. Other than a man and woman smooching at one of the tables, she and Grady pretty much had the place to themselves. He led her toward the couple and the pair broke off their kiss. Rather than appearing miffed at the ill-timed interruption, the man lifted to his feet and fist bumped Grady. Apparently, the stranger wasn’t one to hold grudges over being cockblocked.
“Charlie, I’d like you to meet the one and only Kinky Claus and his fiancé, Marissa.”
“You can also call me Trig. Probably less awkward.”
“But not nearly as amusing to say.” Her smile bright and friendly, Marissa scooted out the seat next to her and waved Charlie over. “I’m so glad I have an ally tonight. The chicks around here can get a little wild.”
“Don’t let her fool you, Charlie. She’s the craziest of the bunch.”
Marissa playfully socked Trig’s leg. “Hush. You’ve already sullied my good girl reputation beyond all recognition.” She looked thoroughly pleased by the outcome too.
“You’re welcome.” Trig leaned down to peck her on the cheek before straightening and peering at Grady. “How’d the shoot go yesterday?”
“After a rocky start on my end, pretty damn good, I think. We missed having you there.”
“Yeah, I felt bad having to skip it, but it’s not often Marissa and I can get away for a few days.”