by V. F. Mason
“She told me today that she played with you.” Ah, so little one spoke about our music.
“And?”
“She seems happy that she is playing again. You see, you remind her of a guy she had a moment with.” Everything in me froze and my fists became tight. I had no desire to hear about some guy she used to date, and now I reminded her of him?
Fucking great.
“I see.”
“She said he was her brother’s best friend.” I snapped my eyes to him and he grinned. “His name was Ryan. Since you were such a good friend of Nick’s, I thought I’d ask you if you know a Ryan by any chance…Ryan?”
She remembered me?
As far as I knew, the night we had spent together had meant nothing to her.
She certainly was very vocal about it.
“What do you want, Drake?” He wanted the admission it was me, and I wouldn’t give it to him.
“I just want to make sure you know what you’re doing.” If I thought he cared about what I was up to, I would have sworn there was concern in his eyes.
“I know.”
“Okay, little brother.” With those words, he left the room, leaving me fucking confused.
Why did he feel the need to let me know about this incident? Didn’t they have some kind of confidentiality agreement?
I was fucked-up. I had to tell her the truth if she’d started to connect me with Ryan.
But I couldn’t.
Because the minute she learned the truth, it would be the end of this.
And as healthy as she was now, she still needed my help.
Once she was good to go, I would let her.
But that wouldn’t be my choice, either.
New York, the city that never sleeps, was beautiful at night. Ryan and I decided to take a long walk in Manhattan before catching a ride to Brooklyn.
The yellow cabs, people, lights, streets, and shops—it all brought a smile to my face because I loved this city to pieces. There was magic in it, and nothing was impossible.
New York didn’t care where you came from, how old you were, or how much money you had.
It accepted you no matter what, and the only rule was to keep up with its rhythm, which always pushed you forward, not allowing you to stay in one place.
Everything was possible here, and God, did I grab the opportunity it gave me!
New York and I shared a special relationship, and I hoped I’d never do anything to jeopardize it.
“You are in love with the city, aren’t you?” he said, and I thought I saw the hint of a smile on his face.
“It’s that obvious, huh?”
“Yeah, you can’t stop smiling and looking around, although you probably see it all the time.”
“Not really. I mean, I just recently moved here. Before, I was more familiar with downtown or Brooklyn.” He nodded and had this wistful look in his eyes.
“Do you like it here?” I knew he’d just moved recently. He had finished university or something, and had chosen to live next to Nick in Brooklyn even though he could have picked Manhattan. I was curious about it; not everyone makes such a choice.
“It’s all right, I guess. Not my favorite choice, but it’ll do for the career I want.”
“Why?” It wasn’t like I didn’t believe there were better places, but then again, what better place was out there than New York when you were young? I was probably ignorant, but right now, it didn’t matter.
“The rhythm is not for me. Everything goes so fast and you know no one. People are always in a rush. It feels like no matter what you do, you can’t catch a break.” That made me frown and I stopped in the middle of the street to look into his face.
“But isn’t that the beauty of it? You’re not subjected to anyone’s opinion, and no one can say shit about you.” What I meant was, it was not like our shit-hole of a home town where everyone judged you and were unreasonably cruel. His eyes became soft, and I understood he got what I meant.
“That’s why you love it so much,” he said gently. “I’ve learned that no matter how much you want to, you can’t run away from the past.” His knuckles brushed my cheek and I leaned back, not allowing further touch. His hand fell away and he looked uncomfortable. Moving to the side of the road, he signaled for a cab.
Okay…I probably shouldn’t have reacted like that to his touch, but I didn’t want to allow it, either. I had no idea why I had gone out with him, but it wasn’t for these tender moments, that’s for sure.
“Bella, let’s go.” He was waiting for me with the cab door open, and I could see the driver was impatient for me to get in. I slid in quickly, thanking God it smelled all right. Sometimes the smell was really bad, so bad that I had to change cabs. Not that I did it often, especially now, because we had a limo. Before, it had been easier and cheaper to take public transportation.
“Where to?” His voice was impatient and he was tapping on his steering wheel.
“Brooklyn. I’ll show you from there.” The cabbie looked less than thrilled to go there, but then shrugged and started to drive. I guess the money we would give wouldn’t hurt, either.
I leaned on the window and tried to understand what the hell I was doing here. For some reason, my hand wanted to touch his and never let go.
It wasn’t normal.
I had avoided any type of contact with him, even back home. He wasn’t exactly my type. He was simply too nice for the likes of me.
I heard the vibration in my jacket and took out my cell. I had completely forgotten I had the damned thing with me. I saw Nick’s name on the display and cursed inwardly.
“Hey.” Thank God my voice was cheery and normal, when I felt anything but.
“Baby girl, where the hell are you? I’ve scanned all the rooms, but you aren’t in any of them.”
“Maybe I just went to have some fun with a guy and you’re interrupting my sensual moment.” I couldn’t help but tease, and I felt how Ryan’s body tensed next to mine and froze.
Shit, what I said…the double meaning, none of which was pleasant for him to hear. In one way, it sounded as though I was getting around a lot and regretted not being with some guy.
In another, it looked like I was implying I would be getting laid tonight.
Which wasn’t the case anymore since I had gone out with Ryan.
Shit.
“Bella? Are you there?”
“Yes, I’m here. Sorry.” I cleared my throat because it had become slightly hard to talk after my minor panic attack. “I just decided to go out with Ryan to have some ice cream.” There was silence on the other end of the line for so long that I thought we had disconnected or something. “Nick?”
“Yep, still here. I’m just surprised, that’s all. I didn’t know you guys were friends.” Somehow his voice sounded pissed off, but I couldn’t understand why. Wasn’t this guy his best friend?
“We aren’t. We just sort of ended up together after the party and I helped him out. It’s no big deal.”
“Okay. Take care then.”
“Yeah, I will. I’ll give you a call tomorrow, okay?”
“You do that, Bella.”
“Love you.
“Love you too.” I disconnected the call and noticed I had several messages from the girls.
Sam
Where r u? Saw u leave with that weird kid.
Ariel
WTH you and that kid? Couldn’t have found someone else? Not exactly your style LOL
Jane
Ryan is a good guy. Hope you have a good time.
For some reason, I was angry that Sam and Ariel made jokes about him. He may not be the best guy out there, but he was a good guy. He didn’t deserve such shit. I would talk to them in the morning and sort that shit out.
And while we were at it, how the hell did they know who I was with to begin with?
“I’m sorry,” I said guiltily, and he just shrugged, not turning his head from the window. It was like he was trying to block me out. What did
I do, anyway?
“Not your fault. Are you sure you want to go? We can still turn around and get you back on time.” Yeah, that was about my comment regarding the sex.
I couldn’t believe this.
“No. I want to go and have some delicious ice cream.”
“Good.”
“Fine.” I heard the cabbie chuckle, clearly finding our talk amusing. The tension in the car was thick, and I had no idea what to do with it. For some reason, I was hot and bothered and on edge. That rarely happened to me, if ever, in relation to another guy.
We were caught in traffic and sat quietly for the test of the ride. Finally, we made it to a street one block away from the ice cream shop. He paid for our ride, even though I wanted to split it. He gave me a look and I decided it was better to shut up and let him handle it. I had no desire to spend more time on the street than was necessary. It was slightly chilly, and although I had a jacket on, I still could still feel the cold.
“Let’s go.”
“Wow, he finally speaks.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You’ve barely said a word to me since my phone call with Nick.” He had the audacity to laugh, but it was lacking any humor.
“What was I supposed to say? I had no idea I’d ruined your sensual plans.” I felt like my jaw just dropped to the floor, and then my anger got the better of me.
“Are you kidding me right now? I’m here with you by my own choice, and by the way, I was the one who called after you. Yet you stand there and tell me that?” His eyes narrowed as he took a step closer to me.
“Like I don’t know why you did that.”
“Do tell!” To emphasize my words, I put my hands in the air for a second and raised my chin.
“You felt fucking sorry for me, that’s why.”
“Yeah, right. I did, that’s why I helped you out with your shirt. I didn’t come here with you because I felt sorry for you.”
“Yeah, right.”
Now it was my turn to take a step closer as I poked his chest with my index finger. “And quite frankly, who the hell are you to make a scene, huh? You act like some kind of jealous guy, as though I have some kind of commitment to you. I sleep with whomever I want, whenever I want, and I don’t owe anyone anything. Especially you.” I only said that because I was angry. It’s not like I had sex left and right, for God’s sake.
“Well, great then,” he said through his teeth, and the next thing I knew, I ended up in his arms and we were kissing madly in the middle of a busy Brooklyn street.
He was holding me tight, his hands on either sides of my face while his tongue was seeking entrance to mine. He nipped at my lower lip, biting it slightly, and I gasped, which allowed him to push it inside. I groaned because, boy, did he know how to kiss well! My hands were on his chest and his hold on my face grew tighter while he kissed the ever-loving shit out of me. Finally, the need for air made us separate and we were both breathing hard. He still held my head in his hands and didn’t let me push back. I licked my lips and his eyes watched it like a cobra watched a rabbit.
“What was that?” My voice was slightly raspy from the pent-up desire I was feeling and confused emotions inside me.
“It was a kiss.” Despite everything, I smiled, and he smiled back. Leave it to Ryan to give such a logical response to such an emotional situation.
“I got that, Einstein. Why did you do it?” He opened his mouth as though he wanted to say something, but then closed it and leaned down again to give me another kiss. God, I could get addicted to them. This one was gentler, more experienced, and I pushed my tongue in to reach his, as he shifted his hands to my waist while my hands circled his neck. I was pressed flush up against his body. His other hand tilted my head back, which gave him deeper access.
I was so lost in the sensation of our kiss that the sounds of cars passing by with catcalls were like a bucket of ice water on my head. I pushed him back, and this time, he let go of me completely, which allowed me to take a few steps back.
My lips felt swollen and were probably red. I raised my hand to touch them and noticed they were hot. No one had ever kissed me like that. Like they wanted to possess me and imprint on me. We stood there looking at each other, neither of us saying a word.
“What do you want?” I heard him say, and I knew what it meant. His apartment was minutes away; we could go there and continue. Or we could go get ice cream, have a great time, and then meet again to explore the passion we had for one another.
I knew he preferred the second option, but the second option was a threat to my sanity.
What did I want to do?
Somehow, I felt that no matter what I decided right then, the consequences would affect my whole life.
And that was intimidating.
Annabella
After my session with Drake, I had an appointment with Dr. Parker, who checked my recent blood samples and provided updates regarding my health. All was well with me. He kept reminding me to take my vitamins and workout; finally, I had the green light to go to the gym. I was used to an active life, and this whole sitting at home wasn’t working out for me that well.
Although I’d been naturally fit my whole life, I still had to work to have a good body.. I was used to working out and walking everywhere. Here, all I did was rest and eat tons of food to get better, so I wanted to workout for a change. Plus, it always helped me clear my mind.
“Thanks, Doc. You have no idea how much I appreciate it.” He gave me a smile and just shook his head.
“Just don’t overdo it, okay?” He looked stern and wiggled his index finger at me. I had to roll my eyes at that.
“Sure, Doc, but as you said, my health is back to normal. At least physically.”
“Yes.” He gathered his papers and everything else, and with one last warning, left the room as I lay down on the bed.
I was getting back to normal. At least I started to recognize myself in the mirror, and my hair had its shine back. My eyes weren’t like giants on my face anymore and my body was filling out nicely. I was still pale because I wasn’t exactly getting a lot of sun, but it wasn’t deathly pale as before.
I’d had lunch an hour ago, so I just put on my gym clothes, twisted my hair into a ponytail, and ran downstairs. I knew there was a gym somewhere on the ranch because I had once seen Nate leaving one of the rooms all sweaty in workout clothes.
I found the room; it was near the stairs to the studio.
Wow, it was huge and had almost every machine that was out there.
“Sweet!” I’d had a special program designed for me back at home, by one of the best—or should I say the ‘it’ trainer—for celebrities. I just needed something simple that would keep my body toned so I could do it three times a week, and thank God for that. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be able to workout right now at all.
I hopped onto the treadmill and started with a slow walk, and I gradually increased the speed with each passing moment. Although, usually, I was all right running at full speed, today it was hard and I felt like my lungs were killing me. I slowed it down and kept on going, trying to catch my breath. It was damned hard, but I managed. Finally, when I was done with cardio, I moved to weights. Now that was difficult; my muscles were aching, and it was hard to even lift for five minutes when usually I’ve lasted longer. I kept on pushing myself. My body was covered in sweat, my clothes were glued to me, and the room felt too hot. The music was loud. I had my iPod on with my favorite songs. It was impossible to workout without it.
Finally, I collapsed on the floor, exhausted like never before. My body was hurting everywhere; my lungs were killing me, and filthy. But I felt incredibly happy. It made me feel alive.
I’d felt dead for such a long time that being able to handle the gym was an amazing feeling, and I didn’t want to let go of that.
Suddenly, Nate’s angry face appeared in front of me and he was saying something, but I didn’t hear a thing because of the headphones and music in my ear
s. He impatiently leaned down, took off my earphones, and started shouting again.
“Are you out of your fucking mind? What the hell do you think you’re doing?” I blinked at him, confused, and stood up, slightly wincing because everything was aching.
“What the hell is your problem?”
“My problem is that you’ve worked yourself to exhaustion,” he said through his teeth.
“I did no such thing, and my doctor allowed me to do it. It’s just I haven’t worked out for a long time, so I need time to adjust. I’m fine.” He had this look of disbelief on his face, which was transformed into an even angrier one.
“You are finally on the right track with your health and you come to the gym and work yourself to death? That’s what you call fine?” This whole conversation was getting on my nerves.
“Yes, that’s exactly what I’m telling you.” I raised my chin and put my hands on my hips. I wasn’t backing down from this. He had no right to yell at me when I felt good about myself.
He made a frustrated sound and put his hands on his neck, the muscles evident through his white shirt. Finally, he looked up at me and shook his head.
“You know, I never thought you could be that stupid.”
Something inside me snapped. In all the months I had been here and even before, I had been called a lot of names, but somehow his calling me stupid when he was supposed to be my anchor, made me angry like never before. And hurt. But it was easier to focus on anger than on pain. I had learned that a long time ago. I took a deep breath and held his stare.
“It’s my life and my decisions. I did nothing wrong, and I don’t feel like I should explain anything to you. I asked my doctor if it was okay and he said yes! I needed to workout to feel better. And guess what? I do feel better. Before you entered the room, I was lying here happy because it made me feel alive. Because my body hurt from working out and not from any drugs I had taken.” I took several steps closer and jabbed my finger at him. “How dare you come in here and ruin this moment for me with your nasty comments and attitude. You have no right.” I punched him in the chest, and although I knew it didn’t hurt him at all, I still got some satisfaction from it. “Screw you, Nate, and your fucking rules. I’m not stupid!” With those last words, I picked up my iPod and ran from the room. Even though my muscles were aching, I did it anyway.