by V. F. Mason
“I need to have a meeting with the four of you, just us. Let’s do it tonight.” Jeremy’s voice held no secret that he didn’t care for our refusal. It was an order, and we needed to follow it.
We all gave him a nod, and then I kissed Nate again.
“See you later tonight.” He gave me a smile, but I felt like he was still tense.
I’d need to talk to him later and discuss what just happened.
Ryan
I felt like a total dick when Bella asked about Drake. It was the truth that he never told me anything about their sessions, but he did tell me about the whole Ryan thing.
About me.
This secret was hanging over our head like an axe, and judging by her reaction to the revelation of who Drake was, I really had a bad feeling about this.
When everyone went out and about their business, I went to the office to get some work done.
I was in the middle of studying a contract when my private phone rang and I froze.
Not many people called me on it.
Recently, though, there was only one person who called me, and that made my guilt even deeper. I picked up on the third ring and cleared my throat.
“Megan.”
“Ryan,” she said softly, and didn’t that make me feel more like shit.
“How are you?”
“I’m okay, Ryan. Really.” She was, and didn’t that just prove how strong she was.
She survived a lot of things this year, namely Nick’s death and drug addiction. The whole Nick thing that happened to her and what came after. The fact that she was still able to stay strong and move forward, it was all about inner strength, which I wasn’t even sure I had.
But she had a reason to live. I heard a deep exhale on the other end of the line. “How is she?”
“She’s better. She finally accepted that he is dead.” There was a long silence, but it had to be said. She didn’t have such a problem; she knew he was gone and dealt with that fact.
As much as she could, anyway. But it was still painful, even for me, to admit he wasn’t here with us anymore.
After all, she was the love of Nick’s life.
He loved her so much. He lived for her and Bella. I sometimes wondered what it was like to have this special woman with you all the time. He used to say she saved him and gave new meaning to his life.
Finally, she spoke up.
“I’m happy she did. I mean, it hurts, but she needed that to move forward. Hopefully, she will move forward. Did you tell her?”
That was it. One more secret I hid from Bella, and I had no idea how to tell her about it.
“No.”
“Ryan, how long can we keep it from her? I want to see her, and I think she deserves to know. I don’t know what’s going on with you two, but she has to know the truth. I need her to know it.” She sounded angry, and I could understand that.
Initially, I wanted to tell her from the start, because it was better that way.
But then I saw what messed-up condition she was in and just couldn’t do it. Somehow, I felt like knowing the truth would mess her up more, and I just didn’t want that.
It was selfish, and, unfortunately, lately I’d done a lot of selfish things that I wasn’t particularly proud of.
“I know. I just . . . I don’t know how to tell her. I’m afraid it will upset her, and she is still vulnerable.”
“The more time goes by, the more upset she’ll be. It’s time.”
She was right, of course. She was right, and I had to own up to it. I gave her a promise; I gave Nick a promise, and I must keep it.
“I’ll tell her tonight.” She made a sound of relief.
“Thank God. I want to talk to her once she knows.”
“Sure.”
“Bye, Ryan.”
“Bye, Megan.” She hung up. I threw my phone on the table and stood up.
I needed to ride one of the stallions to clear my head and think through the talk I would have with her tonight.
The talk that would change everything.
Annabella
“So, you and the girls are good?” Drake was holding a notepad as usual, and I was sitting on the chair, drinking honey water to soothe my throat after the practice I had with the girls.
Today it went better. I finally was getting back to normal and didn’t go off key.
“Yes. I know it’s weird, but we are that way. We never dwell on something, and I guess we just decided to move on with the whole thing.” He gave me a nod and then just stayed silent.
“Nick is dead.” Wasn’t this the whole point of this therapy? To be able to say that out loud and to admit it? It felt odd to do it. I mean, two days ago, I couldn’t even admit it to myself, and here I was letting Drake know about my feelings.
“What made you finally accept that?” His voice was gentle and somehow made me want to talk more; he had that effect on people.
“I guess I couldn’t run from it anymore. I didn’t want to, either. I couldn’t keep pretending he would show up and make everything better. I wanted my life back, and I couldn’t have it if I didn’t admit he was no longer here.” I rubbed my chest where it was still aching from pain, and I had a feeling it would always hurt. “It’s painful, and it was a lot of hurt to crush at once. But I need to learn how to live with that pain and how to move on. I mean, I think I can. I believe I can.” I looked down. “I want more. I want to be happy, and not feel guilty about my happiness. It’s hard to live in a world he no longer exists in, but there is a bright side to my life, right?” It was a question directed at myself, so that’s why he probably didn’t bother with an answer. I had to believe in that; somehow it was important to know.
There were people who loved me.
There were people I loved.
There was so much to do in this life, and I almost blew it with the whole drugs issue and self-destruction. It was easier back then, and I accepted the weakness I had. I just wanted to move forward and not look back anymore.
I caught Drake’s gaze and his blue eyes smiled at me as he leaned forward.
“We can now work on healing?” He understood the conclusion I came to, and for the first time, I felt light after our session and returned the smile.
“Yes, I’d really like that.”
“Are you sure it’s a good idea?” I asked, biting on my lip painfully.
“Why wouldn’t it be?”
“Because we have no idea who this guy is and you want him to be our manager. What if he’s some kind of con artist?” Nick gave me this look that said ‘Are you fucking kidding me?’ and just shook his head.
“The imagination you sometimes have. And what exactly would he be conning? It’s not like you’re gonna pay him or anything. You girls have no money.”
“Hey,” Ariel said, and he raised his eyebrow at her. “Okay, okay.” She raised her hands.
“We don’t have money. But what can he do about it? We can do all the chasing ourselves. No one cares about giving us a chance. What does he have that we don’t?” Sam asked the question that was bugging all of us since Nick brought up the idea we needed a manager to make us stand out.
We were trying to make studios notice us and make our CDs, but nothing much happened. We had some YouTube videos and followers, but it was nothing close to making money or fame. We were slowly giving up; maybe because it was time to think about college, and none of us gave much thought to it because we were so sure the music thing, as we called it, would work.
There wasn’t anything in life I loved to do more than sing, but I had to be realistic. We had to be realistic. We couldn’t play at weddings our whole lives, and we had bills to pay.
“He knows people. He knows what actions he should take, and you just don’t have this kind of knowledge. Look, girls, each one of you is good at something. Ariel is great with a keyboard, but she can’t play the guitar the way you do. Well, she can learn to with time, but we don’t have time right now.”
“How do you kn
ow him, anyway?” Jane, asked.
“He’s a close friend of Ryan’s, and I’ve met him a few times. He’s a great guy, and has a degree in business management. He’s willing to help right now for free.”
“So what’s in it for him?”
“Once he makes you famous, he gets the money. It’s a win-win situation, and it won’t hurt to try.”
“I just don’t want some guy to take advantage of us and keep all the rights to our music for himself.” I may have sounded paranoid or something, but shit like that happened all the time. Musicians got screwed over and lost everything if their manager or producer thought they were done. We wanted to have our independence.
“He won’t. Guys, just give him a chance.”
We glanced at each other and, after a few moments, gave him a nod.
What the hell? He was right.
We could give this Jeremy guy a chance.
Annabella
The vague memory of that conversation with Nick about Jeremy all those years ago came back to me as we were sitting together having that meeting Jer had insisted on over breakfast.
We gave him a chance, and he gave us the world of fame, music, and money. Choosing him all those years ago was one of the best decisions we had ever made as a band, and we never regretted it since. He was firm and could be a pain in the ass, but he always had our best interest at heart, and that was what mattered.
“So what did you want to talk about?” Sam’s voice was cold and hostile, as though she was annoyed with him, but I knew better.
Girl couldn’t really hide the longing in her eyes. Oddly enough, he gave no reaction to her words whatsoever. In fact, he didn’t even look at her when he spoke. His attention was wholly on the three of us.
“We spoke about the tour a lot and that’s not the reason why I wanted to have this meeting. I want to know, are you guys all right to do it.”
“What do you mean?” Ariel sounded as confused as we all probably were.
“I can still call the whole thing off. It would cost us a lot of money and there may be some problems to deal with, but I’ll do it if you tell me you guys can’t handle it.”
“What makes you think we can’t?”
“I thought you guys did. I was worried about Bella so much that I didn’t even think the rest of you would have other issues to deal with. Like marriage.” Jane shifted uncomfortably. “Or threesome scandals. And I don’t care if it’s true or not. Just the fact that it came to this now makes me think something is wrong, or was wrong, for a long time, but I just didn’t notice it. Until now.” Ariel wanted to defend herself, but Jer just raised his hand in a silent gesture, so she shut up. “Or attacking Diego Rodrigues, of all people, with no reason—or maybe there was one—but you still can’t go around doing that.” He muttered about Sam and she tensed. “All this made me realize that maybe you girls need a break. Like, a long break. And maybe the tour is not such a good idea after all.”
“But it would be a lot of trouble to change things now.” Apparently, I was the only one who wasn’t speechless.
“It would, but you are more important to me than anyone else. You come first, always, as I told you all those years ago.”
It was the truth. He told us a long time ago that he wouldn’t treat us like his property, that our needs or problems, should they arise, would always come first.
Here was another man who’d kept all his promises to me, and somehow that made me emotional. I knew it probably made me stupid and a hot mess, but I didn’t care. I stood up and hugged him with all my might. He froze for a second, and then hugged me back, enveloping in his tight embrace. The familiarity of his arms felt good, in a different way than Nate’s.
Jeremy was like a second brother to me, family, and I’d missed him, too. I was glad he didn’t give up on me either.
“Thanks,” I whispered quietly, only for his ears, and he gave me one more squeeze.
“You’re one of my girls. No need to thank me,” he answered back, and that made me smile. Two guys called me their girl, but the meaning was very different. Yet, both of those men made me happy that way. I finally let him go and went back to my seat as he cleared his throat.
He winked at me, which made me laugh.
“I’m good. I promise no more sex scandals, although pointing out I didn’t do it.” Ariel added.
“I just had this marriage, which will be a non-existent problem after the tour.” Yeah, well, Jane’s argument was weak because even a blind person would probably feel the sexual tension coming from her and Drake in waves.
“And I won’t touch Diego or cause other commotions again.” Sam finished the circle of reassurance, as I called it, but I noticed something else. He completely ignored her. This time it was different from the first, and it made my friend frustrated. What the hell changed in one night? He gave us all a good look and finally nodded.
“Okay, I just wanted to be sure and give you an out if you wanted one.” He then hugged Jane and Ariel and moved back, once again ignoring Sam. “Now get your asses back to practice. We have a show soon.” With those parting words, he left the studio.
I didn’t know about the rest of the girls, but I was afraid to look at Sam. She had a temper and she would let it out in one, two, and—
“What the hell was that?” she said coldly, and I noticed how the girls winced. So yeah, they expected that as well. “It was like I wasn’t even here. He treated me as though I was a fucking ghost.”
“Language,” Jane scolded.
“Fuck language. Did you see it? He ignored me!”
“Well, I don’t really know why it makes you so angry,” Ariel said, and started to play soft notes.
“Why wouldn’t it make me angry?”
“Maybe because that’s what’ve you always done to him? Ignored him and what he said from the very start. Dude probably finally gave up.” For a slight second, I noticed the hurt from that statement in Sam’s eyes, but it was quickly replaced with indifference. She shrugged her shoulders and picked up her guitar.
“Whatever. I just don’t like to be ignored by my manager. I’m part of this band too, and he’d better remember that next time.”
Jane bit her lip and looked at me with worry in her eyes, and I just shook my head. It was better to leave this situation alone. Sam wasn’t in the mood to talk right now. I would have to do that later on with her and, honestly, I wasn’t looking forward to that conversation at all.
“We need a night out,” Jane blurted, and all eyes snapped on her.
“Whoa!” Ariel made a gesture with her hand and her mouth was gaped open. “Since when do you propose a night out? Are you sure a miracle didn’t happen?” That made me chuckle and she just laughed, while Jane sent daggers our way. “But seriously, I’m in. It’s been ages since we all got together. I could use a drink and maybe dance a little. I would suggest karaoke night, but let’s not overdo it.”
“I’m in. Who knows? Maybe there are some hot guys here I can have fun with.” Sam gave us a fake smile and, shit, she was in the mood for trouble. Jeremy might have ignored her, but she was truly delusional if she thought he would allow her such shit.
“Well, I need to ask Nate, but I don’t see why not. Although I’m not that excited to go into this town.” I had no good feelings about it, but maybe it was time to put the past behind me and move on.
“We’re going tonight, so ask your lover boy now!”
Yeah, I hoped he was in a good mood.
Somehow, the evening made me excited.
Wait a minute.
“Don’t call him my lover boy!”
My demand was met with laughter and eye rolling.
Some things never change, and thank God for that.
Ryan
After the phone call with Megan, I couldn’t focus on work anymore and went for a ride on a horse, but that didn’t help me much either. Dean gave me an odd look but said nothing, and thank God for that. I wasn’t in the mood for his words of wisdom or advic
e.
I needed to be fucking alone and figure out how to deal with all the mess and lies I created, and how it was best to let her know the truth.
I wore my workout clothes, put on music, and decided to workout until the epiphany came to me. It was good to finally exhaust my body. It was always a way of escaping for me when I was young, and the habit stayed with me.
It just wasn’t fucking helping.
It made me more agitated, and as a result, I pushed myself more. My muscles hurt, but my body still continued working out until the speakers were shut down and I felt someone else in the room with me. I turned around and saw Bella standing there, her hands on her hips, and her eyes had disproval in them.
Fuck, she was beautiful.
Would there ever be a time when I wouldn’t be moved by her that much? I seriously doubted it.
After all, I’d wanted her almost my whole life, and I realized it was pathetic.
Or romantic.
It all depended on how one looked at it.
“Hey, babe, what are you doing here? I thought you had a busy schedule today.” With Drake, Jeremy, and the practice, I thought I wouldn’t see her before dinner or bedtime, like yesterday.
It would have given me enough time to think up my excuses, too.
“You know, for a guy who made a huge issue because I was overdoing it, you’re doing the same shit to yourself.” She tapped her foot on the carpeted floor. “I don’t like it either.” That made me chuckle.
“Really? What happened to trust, babe?”
“Whatever. I still don’t like it. You can gloat all you want.” I came closer to her and raised her chin in my hand. She pointed those striking violet eyes at me and once again I was utterly lost in their beauty. They had worry in them though, for me, and fuck if it didn’t make me feel warm inside.
“Why would I gloat about it? My girl is worried about me. I feel honored and good that you care about me enough to worry.” Her eyes softened and her hands circled my neck. She hugged me closer until our chests were pressed hard against each other.
“I do, you know? Care I mean.” She said it quietly, but her words held so much emotion that I couldn’t help myself. I leaned down to give her a soft, gentle kiss on the lips. She opened her mouth and our tongues tangled in a duel. The taste of her calmed some of my nerves. Her hand moved to my hair and the situation slowly started to get out of control. I let go of her mouth, rested my forehead against hers, and felt her soft breath of bubble gum and orange juice on my lips.