by T. Styles
Thirty minutes later, we’re back in a limousine and he has a serious expression on his face. Always in money mode, my mind switches to how he’s able to afford all of this. I still hadn’t found out who stole my father’s money. “How did you get money for that?”
He shakes his head and grins at me. “You never miss an opportunity to let me down do you?”
“I’m waiting.”
“First of all I don’t own the helicopter and that shit back there was light weight. Under five hundred bucks. Secondly my bakery is doing well, Jayden. So well we’ve landed a major contract to make cupcakes for large hotels like the Hilton. You don’t have to be a dope boy to make a good living, even though I made my fair share of paper in that business too.”
I remember how small the bakery is and wonder how he’ll be able to fill big orders in that place. “Not taking nothing from you but your store looks too small to bake for a company that huge. How you gonna be able to keep up?”
“With the advance they gave me, I can open another shop. I can open five more if I need to. Instead we’re building out the space and adding more ovens.”
Although I think the bakery thing is sort of gay, anything that’s bringing in paper to me is a good thing. It ain’t like he’s not hitting me off with money anyway. “So where we going now, Kreshon?” I’m hoping he’ll take me to a ritzy restaurant, or some place like it.
“Thinking of ordering in. I’m kind of tired and we have to get up early so I can have you home in time. Since you have to go tomorrow.”
“Kreshon, I want to go out and I want you to go with me. You bringing me all this way for a helicopter ride is sick. I’m trying to grab some drinks and enjoy my time with you.” I nudge him with the side of my body. “Now if you not willing to do that, take me the fuck home tonight because there ain’t nothing else we can say to each other.”
“You know what, if that’s what you want to do lets go have a nice time.”
I smile. It seems like lately, I always get my way.
****
Kreshon took me to a beautiful high-class restaurant and I couldn’t believe how fly it is. There are dark colors of burgundy played off of cream accents and the waiters smile every time you look their way. We sit at our table overlooking the city on top of the roof and he orders for me since I can’t read the lips of our waiter. I have a glass of moscato and he has a bottle of champagne. He looks nervous drinking, like he isn’t comfortable with the taste. But it doesn’t take him long to get into the flow because before long he ordered another bottle of champagne since he drank the first by himself. Now’s he talking loud and his eyes seem to lighten up. He’s no longer uptight. He looks just fine to me. I like drunk sex. We’re going to have fun tonight.
I’m looking at the flashing colors of the city when I hear, “Damn, I can’t wait to get you to that fucking hotel, bitch!” His comment is out of the blue. I’m taken off guard at how he talks to me and I wonder why he is so bold all of a sudden. My pussy doesn’t care what the reason is and can’t wait to take him up on his offer.
“What you gonna do to me once you get me there?” As I’m waiting on his response, the table is bouncing a little.
“I’m gonna choke the shit out of your dumb ass. And then stuff this dick in your mouth.”
Two things stand out to me that he said. Number one, he’s going to choke the shit out of me and stuff this dick in my mouth. Something about the word this made me think we had a bigger problem than I realize. As the table continues to jerk, I look under it and Kreshon’s pants and royal blue boxers are down at his ankles. The real kicker is, that his dick is in his hands getting choked out. A pile of cum rests on the dark colored carpet under the table, which makes me believe he’s busted a few times already.
I look around and back at him. “Kreshon, what are you doing?” I’m trembling. It’s the scariest thing I ever seen in my life. And considering all of the things I witnessed, that’s saying a lot. I guess mainly because I never saw this coming. At all. “What’s wrong with you?”
“What you mean, Harmony? I’m just taking you out like you wanted.” His eyes are now red like he’s possessed. “Ain’t nothing wrong.”
I see the devil flash before me. This nigga is really tripping. “Kreshon, I’m not Harmony. I’m her daughter Jayden.” Now I wish he would look at me like a little kid again. “Why do you have your pants down?”
“Listen, bitch, I’m bout to get up and put something in your mouth, and it betta be all meat on my dick. No teeth.”
I look behind me when he starts to rise for an exit. A lady who’s at the table across from me, with an older man gasps when she sees his naked ass. I see two bodyguards rush toward us after seeing my face and looking at the woman. Before I know it Kreshon is knocked face first into the bottle of champagne and something he called Crème Brule that he ordered for dessert. I guess I knew why Metha said to be careful with him. Why didn’t she just tell me that shit? It’s so stupid. I would not have pressed him out to drink had I known. He obviously turned into some kind of sick freak when he drank. There was no way I was going back to DC with his ass. I was going to have to take Olive up on her offer to come get me after all.
MADJESTY
NO GREATER LOSS
I’ve been standing outside of Concord Manor for an hour. Just staring at the door, trying to decide if I should knock or not. These days I don’t understand what’s going on with my life. Why am I so cursed? The moment I learned how to love, I lost soon after that. Tisa, Mr. Nice Guy, Glitter, Passion, Jayden and then Cassius, lost them all.
I still don’t understand what happened when I regained consciousness after I had my baby. All I know was I was pushing and trying my best to bring him into the world. I remember seeing my grandmother and her friend Arizona. I remember smiling when I saw he was a boy and telling them his name was Cassius. I couldn’t have taken more than a fifteen-minute nap, but when I opened my eyes and saw the police, I knew something was wrong, or that they were coming to take me back to the institution.
Turns out Arizona, my grandmother’s friend, stole my baby and sold it for money to buy crack. I’ma kill this bitch when I find her. If I can find her. We didn’t get the cops involved because it needed to be handled in the streets. The moment they left, we looked everywhere for her. In crack houses, jails, abandoned buildings and even hospitals. We found nothing. My grandmother was so dead set on helping me look for her that she didn’t bother to put on her wig. Her natural shoulder length gray hair was pulled back into a ponytail and I didn’t see her use any drugs.
We spent weeks trying to find Arizona until one day Bernie came home and said, “Why the fuck you gotta look like a boy? Everybody’s talking about you! Walking around with me, having people thinking I’m gay and shit! I need time alone, get the fuck out of my house.” She was crying when she said it and I think losing my baby on her watch made her feel guilty. So she didn’t want me around anymore. I told her where my friends lived even though I wasn’t going to their houses. I wanted her to be able to reach me if she got news on my baby.
I left feeling she was the last person who gave a fuck and now I had nothing. No one. I need to look into the eyes of somebody who cares about me, preferably blood related, which is how I ended up at Concord. I think the liquor made me unsmart for coming here. Hold up...is that a word?
I take another swig from the Henny bottle and walk up to the door. I think I’m moving straight, but every time I place one foot out in front of the other, I seem to sway from left to right. Somehow I make it to the door and when I get there, I knock three times. Nobody answers at first, so I knock harder and lean on it. I almost fall inside and when the door opens, I see a guy wearing an orange nightgown. He must be gay. What’s going on here?
“Sorry, little ass boy, but we only accept clients by invitation only.” He looks me over. “And judging by how drunk you are, I’m not sure even if you had coins, that you would be able to handle it.” He’s about to slam the doo
r in my face until I push it back open with a strong hand. I didn’t realize I had that much strength in me. Guess I really want to see Jayden. He frowns. “You must have a problem. If you want me to solve it for you, put your hand on this door one more time and your wish is my command.”
“I came to see my sister.” I point at him but my hand falls down. It’s too heavy. “Where the fuck is she?” I try to look behind him, but he’s kind of tall.
He frowns. “You know somebody up in here? That’s related to you? Or did you just crawl off the bottom of someone’s shoe?”
I want to answer him honestly but I don’t know what my twin will say. Did she still claim me as her brother? Or sister? Or was she done with me forever, after how I treated her? “My sister is Jayden. And the doorknob you holding belongs to my house.”
He looks confused. “Wait, you really know Jayden?” I don’t speak. “How come she ain’t tell me she had no brother?”
He’s getting on my nerves. I didn’t have to answer to him or anybody else for that matter. “Go get Jayden.”
He rolls his eyes and disappears into the house. He’s gone for what seems like an eternity. When the door finally opens, I’m looking into the eyes of the love of my life. As if time never separated us, my heart pounds in my shirt. When I look down, I can see it moving. She’s wearing a red dress, that cuts low in the front and her long hair falls over her shoulders. I can smell her perfume; its sweet and I control myself because I want to grab her and yank her out of here.
“Denise, w-what are you doing here?” Had I known I’d see her again, I would’ve dressed nicer. Looked cleaner. Been sober. “You live here now?”
She gazes at me, like she feels sorry for me. “Hi, Wags. How you been?” Her eyes look into mine. “You okay? Are you hurt?” She looks me over. “Do you need anything?”
I must look pathetic. “I been fine.” I pull my red hat further over my eyes. “Don’t worry ‘bout me. I’m alive.” I step closer. I want to touch her but I’m not sure if I’m allowed.
She smiles. “Well you look good.”
I examine her face. Her skin and her clothes. Something about her has changed. She looks…well…clean. Like she’s not using. “You don’t mess around no more?”
She shakes her head. “Not for a long time. Not since what happened to you.”
I hate that me getting raped was the last thing she remembers about me, about us. “Passion, I wanted to say…”
“I miss you, Madjesty.” She calls me by my name. I like how it sounds. “And I still love you.” My heart feels like thunder in my chest. “I think about you most nights and I can’t get you out of my mind. I feel like I should’ve been stronger for you. Did more for you. Fought for you.” She looks down. “I was a punk and I never forgave myself for watching Shaggy rape you.” She’s pouring out her heart and I’m trying to catch it but the liquor has me bent. I’m confused and not thinking clearly. “I guess what I’m trying to say is, I don’t know how it would be, to be with a girl, but I’d like to give it a try with you.”
What’s left of my heart melts. I’m sure if I ask, she’ll run away with me to Texas now. But I don’t want my feelings hurt again, so I need to be sure. I need to be cautious. “You don’t know how much what you just said means to me.”
“I hope it means you’ll give me a try.” She swallows. “Madjesty, I do have to know something before we go any further, did you do that to your sister?”
I feel like a monster. Jayden actually told people that shit? I step back, sip my Henny and observe her. “Fuck are you talking about?”
Her eyes flutter like butterfly wings. “She said, well, she told us you…”
“Us?” I frown. “Who the fuck is us?”
She looks back into the house. Who’s in there? I imagine it’s my mother, her friends and anybody else with ears. I want to get out of here but I can’t move. “She told me and a few other people you raped her. At first I wanted to know if it was true but now that I see your face, I know it’s not.” I want to steal this whore in the eye.
“Bitch, get the fuck out of my face.” I’m angry. She ain’t nothing but a slut anyway. If she loved me she would’ve came to the train station like she promised. I don’t owe her shit, certainly not an explanation. “Go get my sister, Passion.”
She steps out and toward me. I step back. “Don’t walk up to me.” I can’t look at her. “If you do I’ma hurt you.” She’s so beautiful. I point at the door. “Get, Jayden.”
“Madjesty, please don’t do this.” She’s crying and the muscles in my stomach pull. I don’t want to hurt her but she’s chosen sides already. She believed I raped Jayden. Wait. I did rape her. I have to get away from her. I don’t want to think about this.
“Don’t do this to me, Madjesty. I’ve been waiting here all this time, hoping I’d see you. Dealing with all this fake shit around here. Since you don’t have that phone anymore, there’s no way for me to get a hold of you. Please let me make it right. Let me treat you how I know I can. Let me take care of you.”
I look at her. So she’ll know I’m serious. “Either get my sister or I’ma hurt you.”
I can tell I’ve taken the life away from her. Good. She runs into the house. Her ass looks fatter than I remember and I think I’m crazy for excusing her. I’m about to run after her, when Jayden walks out. She wears a blank stare. Her hair looks longer and runs further down her back, and the jeans she’s wearing hugs her hips. I know right away that she can’t keep the dudes off of her if she tries. She’s beautiful.
“You know what’s funny, Madjesty, I always wondered what I would do to you if and when I ever saw your face again. I even wondered was it possible to love a person who made it obvious that they didn’t give a fuck about me. And you know what, I think I have my answer now.”
I can tell the moment she speaks that I lost my sister but I want to fight for her anyway. I want her to know that I’m sorry about what I did. And that I’m sorry that I never got the chance to be there for her when her father died. I didn’t like him, but I know how much she cared about the dude. “Jayden, before you say anything I just want to say that I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. I violated you in the worst way because I wanted somebody to pay for what happened to me. It was a weak move and one I’ll never forget.” She seems to focus on my lips more than she did when we were kids but she doesn’t respond.
“I did something to you because I was mad that I thought you chose Shaggy over me. So I flipped out. To this day I have nightmares about that day, Jayden. I can’t sleep thinking about it. And I only want you to know how sorry I am.”
“And you think I can sleep without remembering? Without seeing your face? Without the memories of your body on top of mine? You think the days have been easy for me? If you think that then you’re wrong, you have altered my life. Forever.”
“I know it’s been hard. And I know you’re fucked up and that’s why I’m here. I want us to be there for each other. Jayden, so much shit has happened in my life.”
“It’s always about you. Never about me.” She says.
“Do you remember when we were in Texas and ma came home after one of her drunken nights?” I ask.
“Which night you talking about?” She says and I think I see a hint of smile on her face but it leaves too quickly for me to be sure.
“It was the night when she threw a coffee cup at my head, and gashed my face open. I got in bed with you because we didn’t know if she would come into our room and finish both of us off.” The memory hurts too much and I usually don’t like pulling them out, but if I’m going to win my sister back, I must go deep. “I pissed on myself and you held me in your arms. You told me it was okay, because at least we had each other. Do you remember?”
She looks down at her feet and I think I’m getting through to her.
“I’m still the same person, Jayden.” I touch my chest; unfortunately it’s with the hand holding my liquor bottle. It splashes on my Jordans. “And I ne
ed you back.”
I think she wants to try and work on our relationship. Hate seems to disappear and then she eyes the bottle in my hand. “So you been drinking?” I see disgust on her face and my stomach rumbles. “You came here drunk?”
“Just a little bit, Jayden.”
“You know what I remember when we were kids?” She gives me a dirty look. “I remember the day I needed to talk to you. I was gone for three days and when I got back, it seemed like nobody cared. And do you remember what happened when you called?” I shake my head no. “You didn’t want to come home because you were hanging with Mrs. Brookes at the grocery store. I never forgot about that but I wanted to be a sister for you anyway, despite how you treated me. I needed you that day.”
“Jayden, please don’t give up on our relationship.”
“You did that, not me.” She exhales. “I never told anybody this and I don’t know why I’m telling you now. But during the three days I was gone, I was raped by a man.” My mouth drops. “So what you did to me in my room, on that floor, only added to my pain.” She’s crying and I walk up to her but she pushes me back.
I’m losing her. I had a line into her and now it’s gone. I think about my son. Her nephew. And how she may never get to know him. “Jayden, I need you right now. Let’s put it all behind us.” She shakes her head. “Just hear me out. I was pregnant and had a son. A cute little boy.” I want to cry but I hold back, especially when I see her face lights up. And then it goes dark again. “And somebody stole him from me, over my grandmother’s.” She seems confused. “I know it’s a lot but I found my grandmother a while back. Anyway I had the baby over there and he was stolen from me. Sold for drugs. Now you can’t begin to understand what I went through when that happened. I love him…his name is Cassius. But if losing him is the cost I have to pay for doing what I did to you,” I can feel my stomach churn just saying the words and I try to hold it together, “if that’s the cost I have to pay, for what I did, I’m willing to pay it if you come back into my life.”