by Deb Kastner
“What would Jake think about what?” asked Jake, entering the kitchen with Felix tucked under his arm like a football. He was immediately sidetracked by the cupcakes on the counter and headed straight for them. “May I?” he asked, his hand hovering over the platter.
“Yeah, of course,” Aaron answered, gesturing toward the goodies. “Help yourself.”
Jake used his teeth to undo the wrapping enough to take a bite. One bite...two...and the cupcake was gone. The only hint that he’d eaten a cupcake at all was Jake’s mint-green lips grinning back at them.
“That was absolutely awesome,” Jake enthused. “Where did you learn how to bake, buddy? In the marines?”
That set Ruby into giggles. Otherwise, Aaron realized he might have felt offended before thinking it through and recognizing Jake’s joke for what it was. He really needed to work on his worldview. If hanging out with Ruby had taught him anything, it was that he was too stiff-necked about just about everything in his life.
He took a deep breath and tried to relax and let the tension wash over him.
Jake had evidently finally looked over at Ruby and noticed the frosting in her hair, because he threw back his head and bellowed with laughter. “What happened to you?”
Her lips curled into a smile. “Mint-green frosting happened to me. Obviously.”
“Do I dare ask?”
“Long story short, I startled Aaron when I first entered the kitchen this afternoon. He was armed with a spatula full of green frosting.”
Jake grinned. “Sounds dangerous.”
“I’m trying to convince him to sell his cupcakes at our farm,” Ruby explained, clearly trying to get Jake’s attention off her Christmas-colored hair. “But he’s still kind of iffy about it. What’s your take on the subject?”
“The world would really lose out if he didn’t sell them,” Jake said. “We’ve got to convince him this is what he ought to be doing with his free time here—and that he needs to leave at least a few around the B and B whenever he bakes.”
Aaron noticed that they were speaking about him in the third person as if he wasn’t even in the room.
“Hello,” Aaron said, stepping into the conversation. “I’m standing right here.”
“Of course, you are.” Jake thudded him on the back, nearly sending him off-kilter, and Aaron wasn’t a small man by any means. Thankfully, Oscar was at Aaron’s side and immediately leaned into him, keeping him on his feet. “But really. The world needs your cupcakes. They just do.”
“Yeah, I don’t know,” Aaron said, dragging his proverbial feet. “I’d have to use your kitchen, and I’d just be in your way all the time.”
“No, you wouldn’t,” Jake and Ruby said simultaneously, and then they both looked at each other and laughed.
“We don’t serve dinner, remember?” Jake reminded him. “It’s not like you’ll be in my way or anything. My poor little kitchen is just waiting to be used in the evenings.”
Jake’s little kitchen was actually industrial-sized, as well he knew. They could probably cook in this enormous kitchen at the same time and not be in each other’s way.
Aaron looked from one to the other of them and knew he wasn’t going to get out of this unscathed. And it wasn’t as if he didn’t enjoy baking. It was the only hobby he had that really calmed him down and gave him a sense of peace in his life. If he anonymously donated the cupcakes for sale at Winslow’s with the stipulation that the money went into the military service-dog program, wouldn’t he be doing a good thing for everyone concerned?
Finally, he shrugged. “Yeah. Okay. I suppose I can bake a few dozen for Winslow’s Woodlands while I’m staying here. Where and when do you want them delivered?”
Ruby cheered and did a little victory dance that made Aaron chuckle.
“Just bring them with you to training when you come, and I’ll take care of the rest,” she told him. “I’m so excited about your new endeavor. This is going to be great.”
“But be sure to leave a couple behind,” Jake reminded him. “We’ll consider that to be payment for using my kitchen.”
“Done,” said Aaron just as Jake’s little girl raced into the kitchen, sliding on her socks across the wood-paneled floor as she swung her arms around Ruby.
“Auntie Ruby! Auntie Ruby!” she exclaimed. “I didn’t know you were here.”
“I would have come around and said hi to you in a minute, pumpkin. I was busy talking to your daddy and Sergeant Jamison,” Ruby said.
“But I want you more than they do,” little five-year-old Lottie demanded in a whiny voice that suggested perhaps she might benefit from a nap. “Daddy and Sarge can play by themselves.”
Everyone chuckled and Ruby lifted a brow at Aaron. “‘Sarge’?”
“It works.” His face heated as he shrugged, and he rubbed a palm across his scruff. From the beginning, Lottie had stuck that nickname on him. She’d tried Sergeant, but it didn’t quite roll off her tongue, and then Jake had suggested Sarge and that was it.
“Lottie, why don’t we go into the living room and let your daddy and Sarge play in the kitchen for a bit?” Ruby suggested, unable to keep the giggle from her voice. “Jake, do you want me to take baby Felix for you?”
“Actually,” said Jake, “I have a special favor to ask of Aaron.”
Aaron smiled. It appeared that was something he did more often these days. He wasn’t sure when that had started happening, but suddenly grinning almost seemed second nature to him. “Sure. Whatever you need.”
“Can you watch Felix for a few minutes?”
Wait, what?
His heart hammered to attention and then stopped beating altogether as confusion and anxiety washed over him.
“I don’t understand. Ruby just volunteered her services where Felix is concerned. I know she wants to hold the baby,” he protested. “I feel as if I’d be depriving her of her auntie status, and I don’t want to do that.”
“Yes, but I’m not asking her to hold the baby. I’m asking you.”
The grin dropped from Aaron’s face.
What was this?
“Why?” he demanded, narrowing his eyes on Jake and feeling cornered.
“Because you, Sergeant Jamison, need to learn how to hold a baby. And what better time than now?”
Now, why would Jake think he needed to learn a social skill like how to hold a baby? That wasn’t the sort of thing a man such as he would ever have reason to need to know. He wasn’t going to marry, and he didn’t have siblings, so he wouldn’t be a father and becoming an uncle was out of the question. His future was no doubt going to be lonely and grim.
He wouldn’t wish spending a lifetime with his broken self on his worst enemy, much less on the woman he loved. It was bad enough knowing he wasn’t husband material without thinking about the fact that he was the last Jamison male in his family. He wouldn’t be passing on his name to his children the way Jake had done with Lottie and Felix. He would never hold a baby of his own and hence didn’t need to practice with Felix.
It wasn’t even something he’d ever given much thought to until this moment.
He held up both hands, palms out as if in surrender. “You really don’t want me to do that,” he assured Jake. “I’m far too clumsy to hold a baby.”
Jake snickered. “Yeah, right. You were a sniper in the marine corps and could hold yourself completely still for hours, but you can’t hold a baby for just a few minutes?”
“Felix wiggles. And he might break.”
“He won’t break,” Aaron heard Ruby’s cheery voice sounding her opinion from the living room. Apparently, she’d been eavesdropping on this entire extremely uncomfortable conversation. She appeared in the kitchen moments later, holding a plastic teacup in one hand and draped in a pink scarf.
“Felix is tougher than he appears,” Jake agreed with a wink.
“This pudgy little guy has enough padding to keep him perfectly safe with you. Besides, I trust you.”
Aaron’s gut tightened.
Jake trusted him.
Ruby trusted him.
The problem was he didn’t trust himself. He’d seen Felix pump his little legs up and down when he got excited. What if that happened while Aaron was holding him?
No. He had to find an excuse to get out of it.
“What about the dogs?” He didn’t know why he thought that excuse was going to work, seeing as this whole setup at the bed-and-breakfast was based around training service dogs. “Who is going to watch over them while we take care of the kids?”
“Command Oscar to go out with Tugger,” Ruby said, holding open the kitchen door that led to a fenced area out back.
Surely Oscar would have listened to Ruby should she have said the word, but Aaron supposed he appreciated that she was trying not to step on his toes during training. Oscar was his dog now, so he bid the poodle to go outside. He didn’t have to worry about whether or not the dog would listen to him, and the thought surprised him. He and Oscar had come further than he’d thought.
“Well, then,” Jake said. “No more excuses. Baby time.”
“I—er, okay,” Aaron said. He knew when he was being ganged up on, but there was no help for it. Jake would have been formidable by himself, but with Ruby at his side, there was no way Aaron was coming out of this unscathed. He only hoped Felix would be more fortunate.
Unsure of what to do next, Aaron held both arms straight out, palms up and as stiff as a log. Jake was carrying his kid around like a football. Aaron thought he might be able to do a little better than that.
“Relax,” Jake coached. “This really is easier than it looks.”
“Says you,” Aaron muttered under his breath. “You’re an expert on the subject. You have two kids.”
“Well, I didn’t always have kids. Once upon a time, I held a baby for the first time, and she was a lot smaller and more fragile than this big guy is.”
“Hmm.”
“And I had to learn how to be an auntie,” Ruby added from just behind Aaron’s shoulder. He’d thought she’d returned to the living room, and it startled him.
“Relax your arms,” she instructed, following her words by running her palm across his tight shoulders. “Remember to breathe. Jake’s going to hand Felix to you now. Just lay him against your shoulder. Keep one arm underneath him and the other on his back.”
Aaron gritted his teeth. “What if he wiggles?”
“You’re stronger than he is,” she pointed out with a giggle.
“Exactly my point. What if I squeeze him too hard?” His throat closed around his voice, making it sound squeaky.
“You won’t.”
This was worse than when he’d first set eyes on Oscar. He’d had no idea what to do with a froufrou dog, but that was nothing at all compared to holding a baby.
Jake grinned and held Felix out to him. Aaron’s stomach turned over. It was saying something that Jake trusted Aaron with his son, especially knowing how inexperienced he was. But for some reason, Jake was pushing this on him.
Taking a deep breath, Aaron grasped nine-month-old Felix around his rib cage and quickly brought the baby to his shoulder, tucking him close and following the instructions Ruby had given him.
“See?” Ruby beamed at him. “That wasn’t so difficult, now, was it?”
He begged to differ with her but knew it wouldn’t do any good, so he simply turned and walked into the living room, searching for the best place to sit down as quickly as he could. There was a wooden rocker, but Aaron was aiming for the most stability possible with a baby in his arms, so he decided on a stiff-backed chair. Lottie was in the middle of the room, setting up a tea party on the coffee table with a couple of dolls and a few stuffed animals in tow.
“Would you like some tea, Sarge?” she asked politely, holding out a plastic cup after pouring the “tea” from a toy teapot. She walked up to him and extended the cup with one hand while wrapping a purple scarf around his neck with the other. Felix got a blue scarf around his waist.
Aaron tried not to fidget with the scarf, even if it wasn’t exactly his color of choice. He didn’t have the slightest idea how he was going to hold a baby and drink tea—even pretend tea—at the same time, but he didn’t want to hurt the little girl’s feelings.
“Yes, please. That sounds wonderful,” he said, forcing a smile to his lips and taking the cup from her. He hoped Lottie couldn’t tell how strained his voice was or how quickly he set the cup down on a nearby end table once it was in his grasp.
Ruby certainly noticed. Her gaze narrowed on him. She slid to the floor next to Lottie, crossing her legs and holding out her plastic teacup. “I’m ready for my second cup,” she told the little girl. Then she glanced up at Aaron, who was as stiff-backed as the chair he was seated in. “Relax, Aaron. Take a breath. Felix likes you, see?”
Just as she spoke, Felix removed his fist from his mouth and gave Aaron’s cheek a sloppy pat, burbling in baby language as he did so.
“He likes your scruff,” Ruby told him. “Which makes sense, seeing as his daddy has a beard.”
“Mmm,” Aaron answered as Felix repeatedly thumped his chin with his chubby fist, occasionally grabbing his chin hair and giving it a good solid yank.
“Not so hard, now, is it?” Ruby asked him. “Holding a baby is one of life’s greatest pleasures. And to think you were missing out on it. Jake is a wise man.”
Evidently, she couldn’t see his ramrod-straight spine or hear his ragged breathing. This was life’s greatest something, but Aaron wasn’t sure pleasure was the right word for it. And he still thought Jake was out of his mind for suggesting the whole thing.
Felix grabbed at Aaron’s scruff on both sides of his cheeks and curiously looked him straight in the eyes.
“Look at that. He’s taking your measure,” Ruby said with a laugh.
Aaron really did feel as if that was what the baby was doing—deciding if he was worthy of this important honor, the distinction of holding such a precious gift straight from God.
Aaron carefully slid his hands around Felix’s rib cage and held him up so the baby could see him better. Felix babbled a string of nonsense words and then grinned at him, his four teeth prominent in his smile.
Apparently, he’d passed muster.
Aaron couldn’t help but chuckle at the antics of the little imp. Maybe this wasn’t so bad after all.
Suddenly, Felix was all arms and legs, squealing and flapping and kicking for all he was worth. His heart hammering, Aaron tightened his hold on the baby and pulled him back into his chest, his breathing labored.
What if he’d accidentally dropped the baby when Felix went all haywire? The poor little guy could have been hurt.
This was exactly why he shouldn’t be holding a baby at all.
Chapter Eight
Ruby was having the time of her life watching Aaron with Felix. She wasn’t at all worried about whether or not he could handle the baby, but she was amused. Here was this marine who’d spent his entire life in total control, suddenly holding a little piece of humanity who scared him to death. Aaron looked as wide-eyed as a deer caught in headlights, although she’d never say so aloud. That was exactly the kind of remark that would send Aaron back into his shell again after she’d worked so hard to coax him out.
Aaron eventually adjusted Felix to a sitting position on his lap, one arm gently circling his waist while he reached for the plastic teacup with his other and took a loud, pretentious sip of “tea.”
“Mmm,” he said. “Lottie, this tea is super yummy. Here, Felix, have a taste of your sister’s brew. You’ll love it.”
To Lottie’s delight, Aaron held the teacup to Felix’s lips and made slurping sounds for him.
“Am I righ
t or am I right? Your sister makes the best tea ever.”
Ruby was certain Aaron didn’t realize how much his words and actions had delighted the little girl, but it warmed her heart to watch the interaction even so. Aaron was too sweet for words, and he didn’t even know it.
Lottie obviously thought so, too. She leaped off the floor and wiggled onto Aaron’s knee—the free one not currently taken by her baby brother—and then planted a noisy kiss on the marine’s scruffy cheek.
“Thank you, Sarge,” she said in the sweetest voice, one that made Ruby’s throat close around her breath.
So incredibly precious.
Ruby had seen a whole new side of the tough marine today, from baking cupcakes to tenderly holding a baby in those big, gentle hands of his. She suspected he was likewise recognizing a new way of life that had heretofore been foreign to him.
Did he realize he could move on from here, maybe have a family of his own to love and protect?
“You’re a natural,” she said, unable to hold back her smile. “I knew you would be.”
He raised a brow. “You think? I have to admit I’m feeling anything but natural right now.”
“Felix appears happy to be hanging out with his—Sarge. And you totally made Lottie’s day.”
“I did?” He looked genuinely astonished as his gaze shifted to the little girl, who was now merrily singing to her stuffed animals. “Well, I’ll be.”
“Given all you’ve been through today, have you given any more thought to your future?” she gently prodded.
“Every second of every day. It looks pretty bleak from where I’m standing,” he admitted, grimacing as if he were in pain.
Maybe he was.
“You’re sitting,” she teased. “And from where I’m sitting, it looks to me like the possibilities for your future have just opened up wide.”
He stared down at Felix, who was noisily sucking on one fist while waving the plastic teacup up and down with the other.