Damn it. Trust my feelings for Azazel to ruin everything. “It’s just a memory,” I said. “I remember feeling things for her. Since Eve and Kieran took over, I don’t think about her that much. But I used to be obsessed with her. She used to be everything to me.” That was true too, as far as it went. Azazel used to be the most real thing on earth to me, no matter if I wanted to keep her alive or kill her. Now, my guilt was more real to me than she was. It was what I breathed. It sustained me.
Abigail took my hand again. “Doesn’t sound very healthy.”
“No,” I muttered.
Right then, a loud whistle blew, drawing our attention to the town square, where Kieran and Eve wanted to announce the beginning of the games. They descended from their dais and walked among the people, looking into their eyes. I understood that they were choosing people to compete in the games. Part of the allure of the games, apparently, was that the participants were people in the towns that Kieran and Eve visited. It was a real local treat, watching friends and neighbors compete to entertain the rulers of the world. The games were also special because they were never televised. Only the people of that town got to see them, no one else.
Every once in a while, either Kieran or Eve pulled someone out of the crowd, and everyone cheered. They made their way through the mob of people, who parted for them wherever they walked. They were coming towards Abigail and me, so I tried to back away. I didn’t want them to see me.
But Abigail was still holding my hand, and she wouldn’t let me go. Instead, she surged forward, trying to get closer to Kieran and Eve.
I didn’t do anything for several moments, weighing my options. If I yanked my hand away, she’d know something was wrong. If I didn’t, Kieran and Eve might see me. I hesitated, trying to decide which was worse. I hesitated too long, because they were coming towards us.
Kieran’s gaze locked on mine. His eyes lit up in recognition. And his mouth curved into a small, satisfied smile. He crossed the distance to Abigail and me in a second. He wrapped his hand around her wrist. “This one!” he crowed.
Abigail’s face lit up. She whooped.
Kieran shot me one last look. His lips were peeled back like a viper ready to strike. But everyone else was smiling. And they thought Kieran was smiling too.
My heart thudded in my chest as they led Abigail away to be part of the games. Kieran hadn’t said anything. He’d recognized me, but he hadn’t done anything to me. Maybe I’d been right all along to think that they weren’t interested in me anymore.
But I was nervous. I should run away now. I could go to another town and hide. Start over. Lie low.
But Abigail twisted to look back at me. “Jason, aren’t you going to watch me in the games?”
I thought of the way Kieran had smiled. And I followed her to the center of the square.
* * *
The games were apparently nothing more exciting than wrestling matches. The first match was between two men who also worked on the farm with me. They were both strong, stock men with wide chests. I watched their match with disinterest. They were sloppy and untrained fighters. My training with the Sons of the Rising Sun meant I was quite good at hand fighting. I found their inept fumbling at each other completely boring. And I didn’t see why Kieran had picked Abigail to wrestle. She wasn’t going to be any good at it.
I’d kind of expected something a little more sophisticated from Kieran and Eve. Why not a revival of cricket or even football? I really should leave, I thought.
One of the men had pinned the other on the ground. The match was over. I yawned. I was going to leave. I didn’t want to watch Abigail try to fight someone. She couldn’t be good at it. I started to back into the crowd, hoping no one would miss my departure.
“Finish it!” yelled a voice.
I looked around. It was Kieran, standing up on his dais again, Eve by his side. They were both riveted by the match. Finish it? What did he mean?
The crowd took up the roar. “Finish it!” they screamed. They began to stomp their feet and clap their hands, chanting at the fighters in the square.
I glanced back at Kieran and Eve. They were controlling these people, weren’t they? But why? And when they said to finish it, did they mean—
The man pinning the other man twisted his opponent’s neck hard and quick. There was a snapping noise. The other man was dead.
The roar of approval from the crowd was thunderous.
I felt sick. What had I thought only a moment ago? That when I got bored, when I had the power that Kieran and Eve had, I killed? Had they gotten that bored?
Kieran motioned for silence, and the crowd quieted immediately. Of course. When you were Kieran and Eve, you could control every being on the planet. Except me, because I was chewing the leaves. Did they know that? Could they tell that my mind was my own, and their power didn’t work on it? Did that make them angry?
Kieran pointed at Abigail. “Face the champion!” he told her.
The crowd cheered.
Abigail stepped forward out of the others who’d been picked for the games. Her eyes were bright with excitement. She was grinning. She had no idea she was going to her death. Kieran and Eve were killing her, and they didn’t even have the decency to let her feel frightened of it. She stepped up to meet the man who’d just killed his fellow worker in the fields.
This wasn’t a fair match. The man outweighed Abigail. He was stronger than her. She didn’t stand a chance against him.
They circled each other for a minute.
The crowd was wild with whoops and yells.
The man advanced on Abigail, knocking her to the ground with no effort whatsoever.
Cheers.
Abigail hudded against the pavement of the square. She was bleeding. She was still smiling.
This was sickening. I looked at Kieran and Eve, who were both grinning like the Cheshire Cat, clearly enjoying every second of this. I looked back at Abigail. She was getting to her feet, ready for more.
I could stop this. I could stop that man from hurting Abigail. Watching his fighting style, I realized it would take me mere minutes to disable him.
But I didn’t move, because I knew that the minute I made my move, it would be easy to go too far with the man. I could kill him easily. And if I were fighting him, I’d want to kill him. I always wanted to. And I’d sworn never to hurt another human being for the rest of my life. I couldn’t. I couldn’t help Abigail.
The man picked Abigail up like she was a bag of feathers. He tossed her on the ground and was on her, his hands around her throat.
The crowd was in a frenzy, screaming for Abigail’s blood. “Finish it! Finish it!” they chanted.
I saw the man’s hands tighten.
And I dove out of the crowd into the man, knocking him off Abigail’s body. He was surprised, but he recovered quickly. We tumbled over and over each other in the square, trading blows. It only took me a second, though, as I’d predicted. I’d pinned him to the ground. My hands were around his neck.
How quickly the crowd changed sides. They were chanting again. “Finish it! Finish it!”
My hands tightened around his neck. I saw his face get red. His eyes bulged.
A face swam in front of my eyes. A sorority girl, tears staining her face, lying in her bed. I had a gun to her throat. “No,” she whispered. “Please no.”
I let go of the man. I staggered away from him, screaming in horror.
Kieran and Eve had run down off their dais. They were standing in the square. Kieran had Abigail by the arm. “Hi, Jason,” he said.
“We’ve been looking for you,” said Eve.
“Why?” I gasped. I was out of breath. “Why are you doing this?”
Kieran only laughed. “Why not? What do they matter anyway? You know how it feels, don’t you? You felt like this once. They’re insignificant insects. What’s the death of a few?”
“Don’t let it do that to you,” I said. “Don’t let the power make you think that way. You
two were supposed to be good. You made everything paradise.”
They laughed together.
“Jason,” said Eve, “we want to have a baby, but we can’t.”
What did that have to do with anything?
“You care about this girl, don’t you?” asked Kieran, shaking Abigail by the elbow. He turned to her. “What’s your name?”
“Abigail,” she said brightly. She was so excited to be close to him. There was blood trickling down her face, but she didn’t even brush it away.
Kieran laughed. “Abigail,” he said. “Abigail, Azazel. Well, you’re predictable, aren’t you, Jason?” He grinned at me. “Did she dump you like yesterday’s garbage? Is that why you’re here with this pathetic substitute?”
I glared at him. “Abigail is just my friend.”
“But you saved her,” said Kieran. “Will you save her again? You know how this works, don’t you, Jason? How I can simply reach inside this little brain of Abigail’s and switch her off like the lights?”
That was the power he had now. I swallowed. “Why would you want to do that? Just for fun? Wouldn’t it be as fun to let her go?”
“I won’t do it,” said Kieran. “Not if you help us.”
“We just want you to tell us where Little Chance is,” said Eve. “When we saw him last, he was starting to call Kieran, ‘Daddy.’ We’ll give him a good home. We can offer him the whole world.”
My son. They wanted my son. They couldn’t have children, and so they wanted to take my son. I’d never let them have him. My throat felt dry. “I don’t know where he is.”
“Oh don’t be ridiculous,” said Kieran. “Of course you do. What kind of father doesn’t know where his son is?”
The kind of father who wants to keep his dark, evil past away from his innocent child. “I left him years ago.”
“You can do better than that,” said Eve. “Abigail’s counting on you.”
Kieran smiled at her. Abigail doubled over, coughing. A spray of red blood came out of her mouth. “Tell us,” said Kieran.
I didn’t know. I really didn’t know. “Let her go. I don’t know where he is.” But I wouldn’t tell them even if I did know.
Eve stuck out her lower lip. “He’s stubborn, Kieran.”
“And it really is too bad,” said Kieran. He let go of Abigail. She fell to the ground, lifeless. “Oops.”
They both laughed.
I gaped at them. They’d both gone completely and utterly insane. I took a step backwards. “I’ll never let you find him.”
“Please,” said Kieran. “As if you aren’t going to run off to check on him right now. Go right ahead, Jason. We’ll be right behind you.”
I didn’t move for a second.
“Run along,” said Eve.
Then I turned and sprinted away. I ran and ran. I didn’t look back.
CHAPTER TWO
Stupid, stupid, stupid, I thought to myself as I uprooted the herbs that I’d grown around my house and shoved them into bags. I needed to have the leaves to chew, and I wasn’t staying here. I had to find Chance and protect him from Kieran and Eve. Now. How could I have been such an idiot, thinking that if I left him alone, he’d be safe without me? I’d been so caught up in making sure I didn’t hurt him, I had never thought about anyone else hurting him. I was a stupid, arrogant bastard.
It had been five years since I’d seen Chance. He’d been baby back then, barely saying his first words. I remembered saying goodbye to him before I left him with Azazel at my house in Jasontown. I’d left them without any of the leaves that blocked magic, certain that they could be happy there. Without me. And I’d gone off to hide someplace where I could be miserable alone. Where I could brood and cut myself and think of nothing except all the evil things I’d done.
Stupid selfish jerk, I thought. How had I not seen before that I was being even more self-centered by hiding like this? Eve and Kieran were killing innocent people for fun. They were searching for my son, who they wanted to bring up in their mad world, and I was completely consumed with guilt. I’d tried to do the right thing, but I’d made things even worse. I’d abandoned everyone I cared about and left them to fend for themselves. What was happening to them now?
The darkness was setting in as I finished packing the herbs, but I barely glanced at the knives as I left the small house I’d been living in for years. Faces of my former victims didn’t haunt me that evening. Instead, the face of my son did. He’d be older now, I knew, but I still pictured him as tiny and helpless, his eyes wide and searching, so innocent. My God. How had I left him defenseless like that?
I slung the bag that held the herbs over my back and took off in the growing twilight. As my feet pounded against the road, I reassured myself as best I could. He was with Azazel. She wasn’t a shrinking violet. She could take care of herself. I laughed bitterly. I’d made sure of that, hadn’t I? I’d loved her. I’d protected her. And I’d taught her to kill. What a wonderful boyfriend I’d been. She could put up a decent fight if she needed to and I knew she wouldn’t have let anything happen to Chance.
Headlights cut through the semi-darkness. I stuck out my thumb. Hitchhiking wasn’t the greatest way to travel, but it was the best option I had. I didn’t own a car and I’d given up stealing from people five years ago. I didn’t want to hurt people anymore. Not at all.
The car slowed and pulled to a stop. The driver leaned over and opened the passenger door. He was a man in his late forties. His hair was thinning. “Need a ride?”
I got in. “Thanks.”
He sped off. “Where you headed?”
“East,” I said. To Jasontown. The last place I’d seen Azazel. Where I’d left her defenseless, without herbs to block the influence of Kieran and Eve. I’d told myself then that I wanted her to be happy. Now I felt as though all I’d done was leave her in danger with no protection. Idiot, I thought again. But there wasn’t time to berate myself anymore. I’d been doing that for five years. I had to act now.
“East?” said the driver. “How far east?”
“Almost all the way,” I said. “I’m sure you aren’t going that far.”
“Where exactly?”
I gave him a sidelong glance. Why did he care? “How far are you going?”
The man smiled. “I asked you first, didn’t I?”
He was nosy, I guessed. I looked out the window at the black shadows of dusk streaming by. “Edge of West Virginia. Nearly to Washington, D. C.”
“Jasontown?” said the man. “You really don’t know where he is, do you, Jason?”
I whipped my head around to face him. “What did you say?”
“We’re inside all their minds,” said the man. His voice sounded a little different than it had before. “We can see you wherever you go and we’re watching you as closely as we possibly can.”
“Kieran?” my voice was hoarse.
“You catch on quick,” said Kieran-as-the-driver. He was controlling the man’s body. “This trick isn’t something you ever tried, though, is it? Maybe you didn’t quite have the juice without Azazel’s powers combined with yours.”
“Stop the car,” I said. I knew it was pointless. Kieran wasn’t going to stop the car.
“Chance isn’t in Jasontown,” said Kieran-as-the-driver. “That’s the first place we looked. We thought you’d stay there, living out your happy lives together. We thought it would be easy to take Chance. But when you weren’t there, we realized we couldn’t feel any of you. We couldn’t touch your brains. You were blocked from us somehow. We didn’t know how you were doing it. We still don’t. Maybe it’s because you used to have the powers. Maybe we can’t find Chance because he’s your son, and he inherited some kind of immunity from you.”
He didn’t know about the herb. Good. But everything wasn’t good. If Azazel had left Jasontown, and Kieran couldn’t sense her presence, then she... Was she dead? Was Chance dead? I’d taken all of the herbs and left her there. Where could she have gone?
&nb
sp; “You look alarmed,” noted Kieran-as-the-driver. “You have no idea where Chance is now.” He paused. “Eve’s very upset. We were so excited to find you. We thought our search was over.” He shook his head at me. “I can’t believe you abandoned Chance like that. You really are a horrible father, aren’t you?”
I looked away. “Yes. I’m pretty much a horrible human being altogether, or had you forgotten?”
Kieran-as-the-driver chuckled. “Right. The abomination.”
I couldn’t help it. I winced.
“Still have your mommy issues, I see.”
I gave him a dark look. “I never gave a rat’s ass about that bitch. I blew her head off.”
“Oh, I remember. Well, I remember Azazel remembering. I remember a lot of her memories. It’s been helpful in trying to track her down.”
That was great. Kieran knew everything about us. He’d practically been Azazel for months when he’d had all her memories trapped in his head. Talk about unfair advantages. The guy could get in everyone’s head in the entire world. How was I supposed to hide from him? How was I supposed to find my son?
“Zaza has Chance, doesn’t she?”
“Don’t call her that,” I said.
“And you don’t know where she is,” said Kieran-as-the-driver. “She left you some clues, you know. I guess she didn’t figure on me finding them first. But I did. When we got to Jasontown, there was a message spelled out in dried leaves on the wall of your old house. It said, ‘Bethlehem.’”
Shiloh! Hallam had left me a message years ago, back when Azazel and I had first been on the run from the Sons. He’d told me to get to Bethlehem, by which he meant Shiloh, Georgia, the place where I was born. At that time, the Sons still thought I was the messiah, and using Bethlehem was a little joke between Hallam and me. The leaves meant she’d found some of the herb. I hadn’t gotten it all. If Kieran didn’t know where she was, and he didn’t know where I was, then that must mean the herb blocked him and Eve from seeing us somehow. Azazel wasn’t dead. I sagged against the seat of the car, relieved.
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