by Lexi Blake
True meant getting past all the bullshit. “Yeah, we’re talking true.”
“Will you remember this in the morning?” Seth sat back, one elegantly clad foot over his knee.
Logan rolled his eyes. “You think this is a bender? This is a fun Saturday night for me, man.”
Seth’s eyes narrowed down to slits of pure blue judgment. “I thought you stopped drinking.”
“Drinking wasn’t the problem.” Damn it. Yeah, drinking was definitely the fucking problem now since he hadn’t meant to say that, to ever admit that.
A long breath filled Seth’s lungs, and he sat back. “How bad did it get?”
He didn’t want to have this conversation. He never wanted to have this conversation. He’d been avoiding it with everyone. No one knew except the doc and Hope and Sawyer. God, he had to apologize to Sawyer.
“Logan?”
“I’m going to bed.” But his feet didn’t move. His arms stayed right where they were, clutching the chair like it was the only thing solid in the world.
“Are we done?” Seth didn’t look at him. His face was turned down, staring into that glass.
“Tell me how you found out about Georgia.” He couldn’t walk until he knew.
“I got a call from someone. I thought it was you because it was your number, and for a minute, I got so excited because you don’t call me anymore. But it wasn’t you.”
He sighed. “I’m never underestimating Kitten again. I knew I hadn’t lost my phone.”
“She explained the situation and said Georgia needed a safe place to go.”
“So you took her in thinking you could use her to get me to come home.” He could see exactly how that plan had gone through Seth’s mind.
Seth was a manipulative, deeply possessive genius who hid a wealth of ruthless will behind that happy-go-lucky façade of his. Yeah, he’d known that even as a kid. Logan wasn’t sure why, but Seth had clung to him and he’d…god, help him, but he’d craved it. He’d craved knowing he belonged with someone. He’d even liked how possessive Seth was of him. There had never been anything sexual between the two of them, but if Logan had been wired that way, Seth would have been the man for him.
“I fell in love with her the minute I saw her, Logan. She’s perfect. I might have thought I was keeping her safe for you before I met her. Now I know I’m keeping her safe for us.”
He still thought that would happen? He thought they could find the perfect woman and settle down? Seth had been banking on that shit for years, since they were kids. Logan wasn’t a kid anymore. “Take her. I’m not interested.”
He ached in a way no amount of high-end tequila was going to fix. His gut was an endless pool of self-loathing, and he was not bringing them into it. His hand went to his left pec. That was all he was going to get of Georgia.
“Bullshit. I saw what happened tonight,” Seth argued. “And I saw how she reacted to you. I could have been dying on the floor and the two of you would still have gone at it.”
Those few moments when she’d been in his arms had been the closest he’d been to content in years. He shook his head as he realized that was completely true, and his dissatisfaction hadn’t come about after The Incident. He’d started pulling away when Seth stopped coming home, when he no longer got those summers with his best friend.
When he’d been left behind.
“She’s a gorgeous girl, and I was noble the first time around because I got nothing to offer her.” He wished he still had the tequila. Anything to numb him out. God, this was exactly how he’d screwed up. “Maybe I’ll take her this time. Fuck her out of my system.”
Seth shook his head as though he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “She’s in love with you. Doesn’t that count for something?”
“And you’re in love with her.” Now he forced himself to move, to make his body function, to get the hell out of here. “Good for the two of you. I’ll send you a fucking toaster or something.”
He walked past Seth. One foot in front of the other, placing distance between him and the long, shared history of their lives.
“Are you done with me?” Seth asked, his voice reminding Logan so much of that kid he’d been. Seth was still that kid who had gotten shipped to his granddad’s place and had no idea how to fit in. He was still holding out his freaking hand and asking the boy next door to play with him.
He hated Seth in that moment. Hated him as much as he’d ever loved him. Seth got the money and the girl and the world where everything was perfect, where he never had to find out what a stupid, worthless bastard he was. “I’m not your boyfriend, Seth. I’m never going to be.”
The glass Seth had been holding crashed to the floor, breaking through that horrible moment of silence that came after Logan’s words.
This was another one. Fuck. This was one of those goddamn before and after moments, and he knew right then that he wasn’t going to like the after that came with this one. He was going to hate it. Like a kid who had broken something precious, he scrambled to clean up the mess, praying that glue and tape could make the thing work again.
“I didn’t mean it.” He was righteously sober now. “Seth, I didn’t mean that.”
The minute he’d said the words, he’d known that he couldn’t break the tie between them. He couldn’t fucking lose Seth. He’d finally found that line he wouldn’t cross. Now he knew no amount of tequila would be able to numb that loss.
“Yeah, you did.” Seth stood up as they heard a door in the back open and feet scooting across the hallway floor.
“Seth, I didn’t mean it.” Maybe Seth wasn’t the only ruthless bastard. Logan knew damn well Seth’s dad called him all sorts of nasty names when he got snockered and one of them was “queer.” Logan had gone straight for the weak point. The nasty bastard who’d taken up residence in his body had a laser focus when it came to dishing out the pain. “Please.”
It was the first time he’d said that word and meant it in over a year.
“Seth? Are you all right?” Georgia rushed in. She was wearing a set of pajama pants and a tank top, her hair soft and skin scrubbed clean. Yes, she looked so beautiful and fresh, and he could see how quickly those crystal eyes summed up the situation and found the proper villain of the piece. “What did he do?”
He. Yeah, she meant Logan, and he knew it. And it would be easy to save face. He could shove his mask right back on and grab another bottle and walk away, and he couldn’t do it. God. This was what he’d been dreading. The choice. This was why he’d avoided Seth. Because he would have to make the choice to break with his best friend or to try to actually get his head out of his ass.
“I said something horrible to him, and I did it because I’m an asshole, and I’ll do anything to take it back.” The words spilled out of his mouth, almost tumbling over each other, and he recognized his own damn voice for the first time in almost two years.
“It’s cool.” Seth had his patented smile on his face, the one he used for investors and his parents. Damn it. “Georgia, sweetheart, could you get me a dustpan? I need to clean this up, and I don’t want you getting cut.”
Georgia. She would get so cut up if she came into Logan’s life. Like he’d cut up Seth.
Unless he stopped trying to throw himself off a fucking cliff.
“I’m sorry.”
Seth’s head nodded in a clipped fashion, with none of his natural grace. “I am, too. Go to bed, Logan. You have to work tomorrow.”
“We’ll talk then?” Now he sounded like the kid.
“Do we have anything to talk about?” Seth asked, his voice hollow.
“Do you want me to leave?” He was deeply aware that they sounded like a teenaged couple on the verge of a dramatic breakup, but for once he didn’t give a shit. God. He’d finally found something to hang on to, and he was clinging. He wasn’t sure he would leave even if Seth told him to.
Georgia banged around in the kitchen and a long moment stretched between them.
“No
,” Seth said finally.
Logan could breathe again. “Then we have something to talk about.”
“All right, but go to bed now. I can’t do this tonight.” Seth put the bottle on the table as Georgia jogged back in, all fussy female energy and affection, though none of it was focused on him. It was all for Seth.
“Let me get that,” Seth said.
Georgia shook her head. “It’s fine. I want to help.”
“There’s glass everywhere.” Seth put out a hand to try to stop her from coming too close.
“I’ll be fine. I can see it,” she insisted.
Seth was letting her roll right over him. Logan knew what to do. Before she could step too close to the shards of glass, he wrapped an arm around her waist and hauled her up against his body, her bare feet dangling off the floor.
“Let me down, you overgrown ape.” She dropped the broom and dustpan.
He held her close. “When it’s safe, I will.”
She lit into him. When that girl wanted to go, she could spit some serious bile.
Seth set about cleaning up the mess, but when he looked up, he mouthed a “thank you.”
Georgia went on and on about his parentage and the size of his penis—in her mind, extra small—but Logan felt something settle deep inside.
For the first time in forever, he felt necessary.
Chapter Five
Georgia came awake to the heavenly smell of breakfast cooking. She yawned, thanking god that it had all been a terrible dream and she was back in Manhattan. Yes, she could stumble out of her room and join Seth on the balcony for coffee. She hadn’t made a complete idiot of herself. She would open her eyes and see her Upper East Side bedroom.
She opened her eyes and screamed because something horrible was staring in her window. It was big and brown and had monstrous nostrils that steamed up the glass.
The door opened in a flash, Logan slamming into the room, a gun in his hand. God, when had he gotten so familiar with firearms? He was wearing what he’d worn the night before, those low-slung jeans that looked about a size too small because they molded to his every muscle, and a ridiculously hot white muscle shirt that proved he was a meathead who worked out. Like a lot.
God, he was so hot.
“What is it?” He looked ready to kill anything that had invaded.
“Monster.” She pointed to the window. Nature could be like that—filled with monsters. And there was lots of nature out here. She was more comfortable in the city.
Sure enough, the massive alien thing was pressed against her window, its enormous nostrils leaving gooey stuff all over the glass.
And Logan, rather than killing the thing like she kind of thought he should, laughed. A wide smile spread across his face and he looked young, so much younger than she could ever remember seeing him. He always looked like the weight of the world was on his shoulders, but in that moment, she could believe he really was twenty-five.
“Holy shit.” He practically beamed at the thing that looked like it could eat her. “Seth! Seth, get in here!”
He went to the door and yelled for Seth again.
Seth ran in, his eyes wide and his body covered only in a towel. A little towel. A tiny white towel that contrasted with his tan skin and had been wrapped over ridiculously muscled hips. He had those notches, the ones she’d always been sure some artist Photoshopped onto male models because no one could be that perfect. His dark hair was wet, curling above his shoulders. Moisture clung to his every muscle and, holy hell, he had a lot of them. They hid underneath his perfectly tailored suits.
She forgot about the crazy-ass creature that had come straight out of some danger-in-the-wild documentary and watched the two gorgeous predators who had invaded her room.
She pulled the covers up to her neck, aware that she didn’t look anything like they did.
“Maurice.” Seth took a step forward. “Wow. How the hell long do moose live, man? It’s totally Maurice. You can see where Hiram tried to take him down. There’s a scar on his nose.”
Logan moved in, too, and she could see the easy way the two men related. For a moment she saw the kids they had been, friends forever. God, she’d never had a friend like that.
Logan opened the window and she heard a loud chuffing noise. “He kicked Hiram in the groin. It was a damn lucky thing the man already had three kids because I heard nothing worked the same after. Hey, boy. You remember me?”
Another huff and she was about to believe the thing knew how to communicate.
Seth looked over at her, his eyes glinting. “We don’t get a ton of moose around here. Maurice is a legend. The people of Bliss say that if he shows up at your place, you’re blessed. Meant to be here. He’s the welcoming committee.”
Logan laughed. “What no one will tell you is he’s a total snack whore. If you leave a Snickers bar on the porch, he will show up lickety-split. When Laura finally got comfy, I snuck some chocolate onto her porch so she would feel welcome.”
“I’m glad she stayed. I heard she got married,” Seth said.
Logan nodded. “Got a kid now. That’s why I’m here. Her husbands need some paternity leave. I heard it’s a girl.”
Their shared history was right there, a palpable thing between them. It was almost as though she could reach out and touch it, feel the warmth of it. Logan and Seth felt like a family.
What was she doing here?
Once again, like most of her life, she was the outsider. Even among her brothers, she’d felt it. Chase and Ben had each other. Mark and Dare had been tight. And she and Win had been so far apart in age that they couldn’t connect on a brother-sister level. She’d been alone. The only child whose mother wasn’t up to snuff. The only one without money when the tide had turned.
Logan looked down at her, his eyes softening. “Georgia, I’m sorry about last night. I didn’t mean a word of what I said. To either of you.”
She nodded, feeling awkward. They were here in her bedroom. It was a bit surreal. She turned her attention back to the moose.
“So it’s not something that’s going to attack?” She kept the blanket around her neck. Yeah, that was another way she was different. She wasn’t gorgeously perfect like them. She’d tried the whole diet thing, and she wasn’t cut out for it.
“Maurice is a sweetie, but I won’t lie. The first time I saw him, I peed my own damned pants and ran screaming for my mommas,” Logan said on a laugh. He reached a hand out, pressing it against the screen, his eyes misting like he was reaching for his past. “He won’t hurt you. He wants to say hello. And he probably smelled the bacon. Shit. My bacon.”
Logan turned and took off at a dead run for the kitchen.
Seth touched the screen, too. “Hey, Maurice. Thanks for the welcome.”
When he turned back to Georgia, he sported the sweetest smile. He jumped onto her bed, not a hint of self-consciousness on his face as he settled in beside her. “How did you sleep? My bed’s better, by the way. It’s huge. Built for three.”
“Good for you and whatever ménage you choose to invite. Could you go away so I can get dressed?” Last night seemed like a dream, and more than a little like a nightmare. God, what had she been thinking? Seth wanted her to tempt Logan into a ménage? He was insane. She was insane for not immediately walking out of the cabin and hoofing it to Malibu and the safety of Win’s minicastle where she could make like Rapunzel. She would barricade herself in and then keep her hair cut because she was done with men.
He smiled, an intimate thing that threatened to curl her toes. “I thought we settled that last night.”
She sighed and wished she was strong enough to not look at that towel, praying it would flop open and she would get a good view of what Seth had down under. Maybe it was small. Like tiny.
Did it matter? He was the sweetest man she’d ever met. He was kind and good. She wasn’t about to reject him because he had a small penis. It wasn’t like sex was all that awesome anyway.
Logan had a big pen
is. She’d felt it rubbing against her when he’d kissed her like there was no tomorrow. She thought about Logan’s penis a lot. More than a lot.
Nope. She wasn’t going to reject anyone based on penis size. She was going to reject them because she wasn’t about to get her heart broken again.
“I don’t think it’s a good idea, Seth. It can’t work.”
He was lying right next to her, his head propped up on his hand, laid out like a centerfold, but he stared at her with his all-too-intelligent eyes. “It can work. You’re scared and I understand that. But I meant what I said when I told you we’re going to be together. I have no intention of taking you back to New York as my assistant.”
She didn’t exactly understand that either. “Am I supposed to go back as your girlfriend? I don’t know how that would work. We would have to keep it quiet because my brothers would get upset if they decided I was some rich guy’s mistress.”
“I’ll handle your brothers. And girlfriend is such a juvenile word.” He scooted closer to her, his free hand reaching out over the blanket that covered her. “I’m crazy about you.”
“You haven’t been.” Except she knew the minute she said the words that she’d been fooling herself.
“Really? You think I had my other assistants move in with me and have breakfast with me and dinner every night? You think I gave them gifts once a week and brought them their favorite latté every afternoon? I hired a barista to be on call for you.”
Yeah. She’d been kind of dumb on that one. And the whole complete redo of her bedroom. He’d claimed it was in their contract. Which, of course, she hadn’t read. She really could be a dumbass. Maybe her brothers had a point about her not thinking things through. “I thought you said you love coffee and needed your fix.”
His hand moved up and he touched her cheek, his eyes roaming her face. “Hate it. I’ve never liked coffee. It seriously makes me want to vomit, but you love it so I made sure you could have it.”
She felt her eyes narrow. She knew the answers to all of her questions but still felt compelled to ask them. Or maybe she simply wanted to stay close to him. Certain body parts definitely wanted to stay close. “And the clothing allowance? Did Bruce get a clothing allowance?”