Sweet-Loving Cowboy--A Kinky Spurs Novel

by Stacey Kennedy

  Last night, Brody had seen Chase kiss Harper. He had not lashed out then, telling Chase all he needed to know. Only one thing would make Brody rage like he was when he exited his Jeep, charging toward Chase.

  Harper had changed her mind about Las Vegas.

  Chase’s stomach rolled. And yet, at the same time, heat radiated through his chest that she had decided to stay. “Brody,” Chase said slowly, raising his hands in his defense. “Calm down.”

  “Fuck you,” Brody roared. His skin mottled as he charged forward, his hands out, ready to wrap around Chase’s throat. “I’m going to fucking kill you.”

  Shep stepped forward, shoulders squared. “Calm down, Brody.”

  “Fuck you too,” Brody growled at Shep.

  Before Shep made Brody regret those words, Chase snatched his brother’s arm, pulling him back next to him. “It’s fine.” He quickly realized his mistake as he glanced at Brody, and Brody launched forward, landing a hard punch across Chase’s jaw.

  He staggered back, his teeth rattling.

  Shep lurched forward, grabbed onto Brody by the shirt, then shoved him back.

  Chase slowly raised his finger to his lip, discovering the warmth of his blood seeping from his bottom lip. “Do not hit me again,” he warned.

  “Do you think I give a fuck what you want?” Brody yanked himself out of Shep’s hold. He jabbed a finger in Chase’s face, spittle building up in the corners of his mouth. “Harper came to the house this morning and told me she has doubts about leaving. You promised me you wouldn’t fuck with her moving to Vegas. You goddamn promised me,” he roared.

  “She never told me about any of this.” He stared at Brody’s bared teeth and corded neck, realizing that’s what bothered him the most. Had she been having doubts this whole time, but couldn’t share them because she knew he would try to talk her out of it? Had she been enduring all this alone? “Did she tell you she definitely wasn’t moving anymore?” That was all that mattered to him.

  “That is not the fucking point,” Brody yelled, fists clenched at his sides. “You have put doubts into her mind. Everything was fine and she was happy, following the dreams that were torn away from her, but you went in and fucked it all up.” The veins along his neck strained against his skin. “What did you think would happen when you started all this? You knew she had a thing for you. You fucking knew that.”

  “You’re right, I did know,” Chase agreed. “But—”

  “But fucking nothing,” Brody’s voice boomed. He got into Chase’s face, his eyes wild. “You have to live with what you’ve done. You have to live with knowing that you took away her dreams. You did that to her. And I hope that fucking eats at you for the rest of your life.”

  “All right, that’s enough, Brody,” Shep warned.

  Brody set his glare onto Shep before addressing Chase again with a snarl. “I don’t care what the fuck you have to do. Break her fucking heart. Tell her you don’t want a relationship with her. Do whatever you have to do to change her mind so that she leaves today. Do you fucking hear me, Chase?”

  All the coldness that had invaded Chase suddenly washed away to a warm clarity. For the first time in days, his lungs felt like they could draw in air fully again. “I won’t do that.”

  Shep jerked his head toward Chase, eyebrows raised before he focused on Brody again, obviously determined to keep Chase safe.

  Chase stayed focused on Brody, stating his truth now. “If she wants to stay in River Rock, there’s not a chance in hell I’ll talk her into leaving. Because I can’t. Not anymore. I want her here. With me. And if that’s what she chooses, then so be it.”

  Brody moved slowly to Chase, his chest rising and falling with his heavy breaths, his voice suddenly calm. “If you don’t get her to leave, Chase, and if I see you anywhere near her, you’ll regret it.”

  His words echoed in Chase’s mind while Brody calmly strode back to the Jeep and drove off the same way he had come up the driveway.

  Shep finally sighed and glanced at Chase. “Brother, I would take that threat seriously.”

  “Believe me, I am.”

  * * *

  Sometimes there was no easy way to drop a bombshell. The repercussions of Harper’s decision to take more time to think through moving to Las Vegas were going to cause more than ripples, they were going to cause a tsunami-sized shitstorm. A thought which was only confirmed when Chase exited his truck, striding toward her with his long stride, while she sat on the porch steps of his house. She noted the small cut on his lip, indicating they were directly in the eye of the storm.

  The side of his mouth arched. “So, you’ve made this complicated.”

  She gave a small smile back. “I’ve made this complicated.” His eyes softened, emotion filling their depths, and her heart skipped a beat. Everything seemed better with him there, reminding her she had made the right decision to take more time to think this all through.

  Last night, the truth had been staring her in the face. She had doubts about leaving. Until she got her head straight about what she wanted, she could not get on that airplane.

  When Chase joined her on the stairs, she set to explaining. “This wasn’t a quick decision. It’s been building over the last week. And this morning, I just knew I couldn’t get on that plane later today.”

  Chase studied her. “Is your mentorship gone, or can you still choose to go?”

  She exhaled deeply, grateful that he hadn’t laid into her like Brody had done. “Jack—he’s the chef who I’ll be working there with—told me to take the time I needed to make a decision.” She lifted her hand to his face, and her heart squeezed when she brushed her fingers beneath the cut on his lip. “I see Brody came to see you.”

  Chase snagged her hand, kissed her palm. “He’s not particularly happy at the moment.”

  “I knew he wouldn’t be. Which was exactly why I didn’t tell you what I was planning to do this morning.”

  He twined his fingers with hers. “The warning would have been appreciated. I take it you had a good reason for keeping me in the dark?”

  She did. A huge reason. “I didn’t want you to try and stop me. I need to make sure I’m making the right choice. And there are a lot of factors that can make that decision messy.”

  He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees, glancing at her sideways. “Is your decision to stay because of us?”

  “Of course, you are a big part of what I love about River Rock,” she admitted, laying it all on the line now. She had nothing to lose anymore. “But there’s also more reasons too.”

  His brow arched. “Which are?”

  She paused to get this right. For the past week, everything that had been clouding up her mind had suddenly cleared. She drew in a long, deep breath, glancing out at the sunlight hitting the tops of the trees in the distance. “For so long I kept searching for this feeling.” She glanced his way again, staring into the sweet tenderness on his expression. “Almost like I needed to find something that was missing inside of me. Call it a purpose, happiness, whatever. I found that feeling when I’m in the kitchen. And I guess I never thought about why I gravitated to cooking as my passion.”

  “I take it you have the answer now.”

  She nodded. “It all kinda came to me when I was cooking in the kitchen with Emma before the wedding. Every happy memory I have of my mother is when we spent time in the kitchen together and cooked for our family. They’re my most vivid memories of her. So, of course, it makes sense that I gravitated to cooking as my passion.”

  Chase tangled his fingers with hers, staying silent, doing exactly what she needed him to do. Be there for her.

  She drew in a long deep breath before continuing. “I realize now that my wanting to go to Vegas was because my mother loved it so much. I always thought there must be something so incredible there for her to have always talked about it. But you know what?”

  “What?”

  “Vegas was her dream, not mine.” Chase’s expression tu
rned thoughtful, awareness lighting his eyes, and she added, “I saw the excitement on her face all the time whenever she talked about Vegas. She lit up in ways I’d never seen her light up before.” Harper looked down at his strong hand holding hers. “After Mom and Dad died, I think I clung to the idea of Vegas to hold onto my mother. Almost like if I went there, somehow she’d always be with me or I’d be closer to her.” She looked back into the warmth of Chase’s eyes. “Does that make any sense?”

  He nodded. “It does.”

  How easy it was to get lost in those eyes, but she pressed on, needing to get all this out. “As the days have gone by, it’s as if I’m suddenly aware of all these feelings that I didn’t have before. And I can’t stop asking myself why I want to leave everyone who loves me behind?”

  Chase studied her intently. “So, you’re not giving up on your dream?”

  “I’d never give up on my dream. I love cooking for others, but I’ve come to see that I want to cook for people I love, not for strangers.” She felt almost empty now, her emotions utterly depleted. “I think I was just so desperate to feel . . . something . . . that I hung on to the thing that my mother loved the most. Maybe to feel like I wasn’t losing her. Maybe in hopes that I would find the happiness I lost when the accident happened.”

  Chase’s brows pinched together. He paused, then eventually said, “I think that makes a lot of sense, and you’re right—this is a huge decision, not one to be taken lightly.”

  She understood he was not only talking about moving to Vegas. A bomb had exploded in Brody and Chase’s relationship. The only thing that could save anyone now was a clear path forward. “Exactly, this is a major decision. The biggest decision I’ve ever had to make. If I decline the offer Jack has given me, he won’t offer it to me again. I’ve already put him off once.”

  Chase stiffened. “He offered you a mentorship before?”

  “That’s right. You don’t know that part.” Her mind hurt. Maybe she shouldn’t have said that, but there was no going back now. “Jack offered me the mentorship a month after I got home from Denver. He told me it was an open invitation, which of course you know I didn’t accept right away.”

  Chase frowned. “Why didn’t you go?”

  “You.”

  His brows rose. “Me?”

  Emotion thickened in her throat, and she barely managed to choke out, “I wanted to see if we had a chance.”

  Chase stared at her. Hard. So much crossing his expression that she couldn’t identify what he was feeling. “That was nine months ago.”

  She gave him a small smile. “I obviously have a lot of patience when it comes to you.”

  He slid his hand over her cheek, his intense eyes piercing through her. “You’ve been waiting for me this whole time?”

  She leaned into his touch. “I waited until I couldn’t wait anymore.”

  He gathered her in his arms then, bringing her onto his lap. Face to face, he stated in a voice thick and packed full of emotion, “Part of me wants to hold you just like this and tell you to stay. That I want you here. With me. And the last thing I want is for you to go anywhere.”

  “The other part of you?” she whispered, her chin quivering.

  “Feels like I’m stealing something away that you have wanted for a long time. Because River Rock is not the life you dreamed of having for yourself, Harper. Dammit, it’s not the life you deserve. You should have everything you want, nothing less.”

  “You haven’t stolen anything, certainly not my dreams,” she countered. “Yes, I think what we have together maybe opened me up to feeling things I have never felt before. Of course, I want to be with you. It’s what I’ve wanted for nine months, but this choice isn’t only because of you. It’s also about Emma. It’s about Megan. It’s”—her voice hitched—“it’s about family. That’s what I’ve been missing. And now that I see what kind of life I could have here, with you and with everyone, I can’t see anything else.”

  Chase reached forward, his palms pressing tightly against her cheeks. “Tell me what you need from me.”

  How easy it was to stay right here in the safety of his arms, but her heart was raw and too confused. “I need time to get all this straight in my mind. To make a good decision, because I know what’s on the line here.” Her career. Brody and Chase’s friendship.

  Chase held her face even tighter now. “Do what you need to do. Decide what you need to decide. Whatever that may be, either staying here in River Rock or going to Vegas, make this choice for you. Not for me. Not for Brody. Not to hold onto the past. For you, Harper.”

  She stared into the sweet warmth of his eyes, seeing a love so healthy it only made her want to make good choices. “While I’m doing that, what are you going to do about Brody?”

  “Brody is my problem, not yours.”

  Done with talking, apparently, he sealed his mouth across hers, giving her a blazing-hot kiss that left no misunderstanding that he wanted her to stay right there with him.

  Chapter 13

  Chase arrived at the ranch the next morning to a cloudy, miserable day. He had intended to keep working on the stairs. Though with one look at the cabins and the amount of work ahead of him, he headed straight into the barn on the left side of the farmhouse with Houdini in his arms. The gravel crunched beneath his boots and he noticed the light on in the kitchen. Mom was up, obviously having her breakfast. Not in any mood to talk, his mind far away from there, he avoided the house altogether.

  For the last week, he had been pushing on, pretending that he had everything under control. He had to stop pretending. Everyone was miserable. Harper was not in his arms where he wanted her. His interference with Harper’s departure had left Brody feeling betrayed. And then there was the inspection.

  Maybe he deserved all this coming to him.

  His selfish need to take Harper to his bed before she moved to Las Vegas had put all this into motion. He could almost see his father standing next to him with his famous glare. Hell, he could certainly feel him. Trying to get away from the thoughts in his head, he inhaled the brisk morning air, catching hints of the sweet-smelling hay in the pasture, his muscles aching with every step he took.

  When he entered the barn, he found the ten stalls empty. The Blackshaw Cattle cowboys were already out on the morning cattle run. Too bad. Time away was precisely what Chase needed. There was a certain peace that came with doing something he had been raised to do, and he needed the fresh Colorado air to think. Because somehow Harper’s bombshell yesterday had blown apart the final strands of control he had on the world. Early this morning, certain truths about Harper, about the guest ranch, about his life, had revealed themselves.

  Truths he could no longer ignore.

  Determined to find a way to clean the mess he had created, he placed Houdini gently down on the ground, grabbed a halter and lead off the hook by the stall doors, then headed back outside. At the gate, he unlatched the lock and whistled twice.

  Off in the distance, standing with the herd of horses, Mac, his dark bay warmblood with the white star, began cantering toward him, ears perked forward. Chase had picked him up from an auction as a two-year-old when he was twenty years old. He held a special bond with this horse. Mac was as loyal to Chase as a dog.

  When Mac slowed to a trot then stopped in front of him, Chase stroked his hand down his face. “Hey, boy.” He placed the halter over his head, buckling it in place, then led him back into the barn. He used to ride daily. These past months of building the guest ranch, he had gotten out twice a week if he was lucky. And the last days with Harper, well, Chase felt no guilt for ignoring Mac then.

  While Chase led him into the barn, Mac’s hooves clicked against the cement floor as Houdini came charging from the back of the barn, running down the aisle between the stalls and promptly sliding into one of the bales of hall.

  Mac dropped his head, snorting at Houdini who barked back.

  “Ah, you’ll be buddies before you know it.” Chase reached for the
crosstie and clipped it onto Mac’s halter. After he clipped the second one into place, he grabbed a brush from the tack box on the ground, obviously left by one of cowboys this morning. Something that his father would have taken issue with.

  Keep your barn clean and your boots dirty had been his father’s saying.

  Chase’s chest tightened. He missed his father. The void of his absence never seemed to heal within the family.

  Desperate to get away from it all, he had begun brushing Mac’s neck when Houdini growled at the barn door. Not a second later, Gus burst through the door like his tail was on fire. He slammed into the wall then ran past Mac, spooking the horse.

  “Gus!” Chase snapped, quickly scooping up Houdini as he got close to Mac’s hooves.

  “Get outta here,” Nash shouted, entering the barn wearing a white T-shirt and Levi’s.

  Gus ran all the way down the aisle to the end of the barn then whizzed past Mac again. The horse struggled against the crossties, head high, eyes wild.

  Chase grabbed Mac’s halter. “Shhh. . . .”

  Gus sped out of the barn toward the horses in the pasture. “Goddamn dog.” Nash leaned against the barn door, crossing his arms. “He does not listen to a damn word I say.”

  Gus had been a handful since day one. Which at times amused Chase greatly, since Nash was often a pain in the ass too. “Ever think about dog training?” Chase placed Houdini back near the hay bales far away from Mac’s hooves.

  Nash sighed. “He failed group dog training. Twice. And the next trainer I brought in gave up on him and said by three he would grow out of his insanity.” He arched an eyebrow. “Got any other ideas?”

  “No.”

  “Date someone who knows more about dogs than you do,” Shep offered, entering the barn wearing his black T-shirt with BLACKSHAW SURVIVAL written across the front. “Or that is never going to end.” He pointed out the barn doors.

  Chase followed the direction of Shep’s finger. Gus chased the horses out in the field, sending everyone into chaos. Chase sighed and looked away, unable to think about anything but himself right now, no matter how pitiful that was. He turned back to Mac, stepping under the crossties, and began brushing his neck again. Before his brothers could start in on him about Brody and Harper, he revealed one of his recently discovered truths. “We need to consider delaying the grand opening.”