by W. A. R.
“No problem.” The boy said, carefully taking the bouquet of flowers from his dad’s hands. “I tell girls how pretty they are, like, allll the times.” He smiled at Miles. Miles stood and shook his head.
“Sometimes I wonder if you are my son.” He chuckled looking down at the boy and thinking back to all of the trouble he had caused Amber as kids. His son was the complete opposite of him.
“Well, you tolded me to be nice. It’s your fault I am how I am.” He informed his father before turning towards the room. Miles laughed for a moment before he ran, quickly stopping him and turning him to face him.
“Knock on the door; don’t mention who we are, or our names. Just hand her the flowers, tell her she is pretty, and get out of there.” Miles said sternly. “Comprende?”
“Yes sir.” Michael replied, rolling his eyes and turning back towards the door. Miles stood and leaned against the wall right outside of the door so he could listen. He felt his heart begin to race when Michael knocked on the door, gently pushing it open. He heard her jostle around, more than likely startled.
“Hi there.” She said sniffling with a smile in her voice. He lowered his head. Even when she is at her lowest she has a smile for everyone else.
“Hi.” Michael replied confidently.
“What have you got there?” she asked him curiously, “Are you lost?”
“No ma’am, I’m not lost. And these…these are for you.” Michael replied. Miles felt his shoulders tense, knowing Michael was handing her the flowers.
“Thank you. How did you know lilies were my favorite?” There was silence for just a moment as she breathed in the scent of the flowers. “What is your name?” she asked and Miles just knew that his son was going to give in.
“I can’t tell you that.” He replied, and Miles grinned like a Cheshire cat, nodding at a nurse that walked by him, eyeing him dubiously.
“Hmmm…” she replied sniffling, “I’ll just read the card and find out.” She said sarcastically but in good humor. Everything was quiet for a long moment as she read the card. The silence carried, even after she had enough time to read it.
“Ma’am?” Michael asked, “Are you ok?”
Silence again. The nervous feeling in Miles’s gut almost forced him to go in there to check when she spoke up. Her voice was lilted with such sadness and appreciation that it tore at him.
“Who gave you these flowers?” she asked the boy gently.
“I can’t tell you that neither…” he said softly, somewhat understanding her emotions. “He said to tell you how pretty you are, he said one time, when I was supposed to be in bed, that you were… ‘lovely, inside and out’…although, ma’am, I don’t see how people’s insides are ‘lovely’.” Michael made a disgusted sound, Amber’s giggle wafting through the door and Miles felt his pulse pick up. What was his kid doing? He heard Michael continue, his voice lowering gloomily and thoughtfully.“….and he did say that your heart was lonely…” Michael began and Miles slapped his palm across his face. Dammit! So much for not upsetting her. “And sometimes, my heart gets lonely too. But he always makes it better…e…even though his heart is the loneliest.” Miles felt the sting of tears and leaned forward, lowering his head. “So, did this make your heart better?”
Silence carried for a moment before she spoke. Miles felt like he was on pins and needles. “Yes, in so many ways.” She choked out and with that, he watched Michael quickly step out and grab Miles’s hand, dragging him down the hallway in a hurry.
“Hurry! She’s gonna look!” he urged in a loud whisper before her room door opened and they rounded the corner to the elevators. Once in the elevator he jerked his son up into a bear hug.
“I love you so much Michael and am so proud of you and who you are. Have I told you that lately?” he asked the boy. The boy giggled and leaned back, looking at his dad.
“Every day.”
He quit going to the bar, and stopped seeing Brian out and about. He kept tabs on her through a mutual friend’s Facebook account, eventually creating his own very private one, and sending her flowers when he had heard she had a little boy. The flowers held a new note:
I told you that you could handle it.
The boy’s father had simply left, but Amber seemed okay with it. She seemed okay with everything that life had thrown her way. He had even run into her in grocery stores a few times and she seemed so happy with her two little children. She always smiled at him, her eyes swimming with a million questions that she never asked. He admired that about her, and he let her know in the little notes he would sometimes send her, or with the small gifts she would sometimes receive on his behalf. He helped her occasionally without her knowledge, granted, she found out later. An example of this was whenever she put her car in the shop, and had no other way to transport the kids. She couldn’t afford the repairs, so while it sat in the mechanic’s shop, he paid to have the repairs done and had the mechanic inform her that an anonymous donation supplied the funds to fix her car. He helped her, not because he expected anything in return; in fact, he made sure she knew it wasn’t him, but after so much pain, she deserved a break. He only wanted to help.
And then came the night of the party. A friend of his had invited him out for his birthday party. His friend was pretty well off financially, and owned a two story house. Miles had gone to the party, music blaring and people were everywhere. Big parties weren’t really his thing, and he had to disappear, at least for a little while to clear his head. All he had heard was insistent chatter for two hours, and in order to get away from it all, he had taken his drink and wondered upstairs to the master bedroom. The overhead lights were off, the only light being the moonlight coming through the open French doors that led to the balcony. He walked in hurriedly, closing the door behind him, and he sighed, banging his head against the now closed door. He was unsure of why he had agreed to come. He shook his head and wondered over to the balcony, setting his drink down on the railing and glancing out at the city before him, the music and voices drifting loudly from the other side of the house.
“You could always politely leave if you don’t want to be here.” A soft voice said from across the darkened balcony. He jerked his head to the sound, seeing a silhouette in the far corner.
“I could say the same about you.” He retorted and she laughed. Oh God, it was her. He would know that laugh anywhere.
“Well, I won’t tell if you won’t. It was getting a bit too loud for me out there. I needed a breather.” She told him and he shifted uneasily on his feet.
“Same here. I didn’t mean to bother you. I’m sorry.” He said, turning quickly to retreat but her voice stopped him.
“You aren’t bothering me. I should actually probably head back soon anyways. I’ve been up here for a bit too long. My friend is probably wondering where I am.” She told him lightly, stepping towards him, towards the room. His eyes scanned over her. Her blonde hair was down and cascaded around her shoulders, down her back. She wore a flowing black dress that accented her curves. Her eyes were brightened with dark eyeliner and mascara. She was gorgeous. He couldn’t move and after a moment, her playful expression brightened. “Excuse me.” She said softly and he swallowed, realizing he was blocking the doorway. He quickly stepped aside, allowing her passage, but she didn’t move. Instead, her eyes squinted against the dim lighting. He felt his nerves go taut as she grinned knowingly. “Miles? Miles Preston?” she asked and for a brief moment her face dropped. His mind flashed back to the last time he had spoken to her, how he had rushed out of her house, leaving her to think she had done something wrong.
“Brian’s sister. Long time, no see.” He replied playfully, hoping to break the tension. She grinned but it didn’t meet her eyes. A part of him broke.
“Amber.” She replied, telling him the name he already knew and then tucked some of her long hair behind her ear, lowering her gaze. She glanced at the door. “I should get going.” She said quickly, turning to step past him. He began beating himsel
f mentally and before he had time to think he reached out and caught her wrist. Electricity zipped through his veins at the feel of her skin under his touch. She whipped her head back to him, her hair flying behind her.
“I am sorry I made you uncomfortable last time…which, I guess made you uncomfortable this time.” He blurted out, albeit politely, as he reluctantly released her. She folded her hands together and looked away from him. He ran a hand along the back of his neck. “I’m always messing up when it comes to you it seems.” She turned her eyes to him, studying him. She looked so…insightful and susceptible. It was the first time they had been alone with one another since that night.
“No, you haven’t done anything. I feel like I was the one who made you uncomfortable.” She admitted, and he knew she was referring to that night a few years prior. “I mean…I’ve seen you around and I know we’ve talked here and there but…” she paused, trying to gather her words. She wanted to say that the night he was there, that night with Brian, still hung in the air between them because, well…anytime they’ve seen each other since has been in a public setting. He knew it and he couldn’t help but laugh at her innocence. The woman she had become reflected the young girl she once was.
“No. I enjoyed myself. I just…forgot I had something going on that night. I apologize for how I acted. I wish I could have stayed.” He told her gently and she turned a little, glancing at the closed door nervously. After a moment she turned back to him and smiled warmly, shrugging.
“No harm done.” She told him softly, turning once more to leave. He couldn’t let her leave like that. He simply couldn’t, and again he stepped forward, grasping her wrist once more. She turned to him, disbelief waning on her features. He swallowed.
“Let me make it up to you. I promise I’m a good guy.” He told her and she couldn’t hide the smile that graced her lips.
“How do you plan on doing that? Because I must tell you, I don’t date.” She told him and he felt a thrill run through him at her words. He grinned at her, urging her back to the balcony where the music was louder.
“Just a dance. That is all I am asking. I can’t have you walking away with a sour view of the man I am.” He told her, the words tumbling out of his mouth. He wondered where his bravado was coming from, but he didn’t question it. She bit her bottom lip, glancing at the door once more before turning her smile to him.
“One dance to redeem yourself. That’s all.” She warned him before stepping forward. He released her wrist as she stationed herself in front of him. He couldn’t make out the words of the song that was playing, and quite frankly he didn’t care. His heart was going a mile a minute, and slowly he placed a hand on her waist, his other hand finding hers, holding it tightly. Her touch drummed into him and slowly, he forced his feet to move, swaying her slightly to the music of his heart beat. She grinned up at him.
“You are very good at this. You have yet to step on my toes.” She laughed and he grinned nervously down at her. Their feet moved in tandem and he slid his hand to the small of her back, urging her closer at the connection.
“I practice when I’m alone.” He lied playfully and she laughed once more. Good, he thought, keep her laughing. Ruin whatever dignity you have left. “I enjoy waltzing with my imaginary friend Tina.”
“I bet.” She laughed, relaxing against him. His body hummed with the contact.
“So,” he began curiously, “you don’t date?” he asked and he saw a blush darken her cheeks.
“No.” she answered nervously. His grin widened at her response. Was he making her nervous? The thought brought him a sense of satisfaction he never thought possible.
“That’s a shame.” He replied, catching her surprised blue gaze. “Why not?” Her hold on his hand tightened and he pressed his hand more firmly against the small of her back, not ready to release her.
“I’m…waiting.” She said thoughtfully, and he smiled down at her.
“On what?” he asked and she stopped moving, her eyes staring up at him. Her cheeks darkened even more, as if she were embarrassed. Her gaze flashed at him and he felt as if she had penetrated the shield he had put in place.
“You’re…a man.” She began, once again thoughtful. “You know what I’m waiting for.” He felt unnerved then, as if she were speaking directly to him; as if by her words ‘a man’ she meant to speak his name. “And if you don’t know what I am waiting for, well…it shouldn’t be that hard to figure out considering you know…women…so well.” There it was again, only this time she was addressing herself. Wasn’t she? He stared hard down at her, unsure of what to say next. He felt as if he should tell her everything that raged within the confines of his mind. The moment grew heated and he felt every fiber of his being call to attention. He couldn’t tear his gaze from her. So very slowly he leaned towards her, and she didn’t pull away. Instead, her breath felt warm against his lips and he shuddered. He felt her body tighten against him, the hand that had rested on his shoulder gripping his shirt, her fingers brushing the sensitive skin on his neck. It was heady and sweet, the sensational smell of her, the feel of her. A sudden knock at the door broke them from their trance and Amber jumped, startled. She cleared her throat, stepping back from him and his hold on her waist. He didn’t release her hand; he couldn’t.
“Amber? Are you in there? I need you to drive me home.” A woman slurred from the other side of the door. Amber chuckled to herself.
“I’ll be out in just a moment.” She called back before turning her attention to Miles. “I guess that’s my cue. It was certainly nice to see you again.” She said, grinning conspiringly. “And I don’t have a sour view of the man you are. I never have.” She told him and once more he felt as if she were talking to him, reaching back to their past. He tamped down his nerves and pulled the back of her hand to his lips, gently placing a kiss across her knuckles, wishing he could do more than just that.
“Until next time…” he told her, finally allowing her fingers to slip from his hand. Reluctantly, she turned to leave and as she walked through the door, he watched her; unsure of everything that had just happened and yet soaking in the feelings that threatened to overrun him.
The next and last time he had seen her, however, was the night at Jenson’s Farm Supply. That night, he wasn’t surprised whenever she addressed his name as a question. It had been dark and chaotic. After that night, he had to make a trip to find his son, and wasn’t even sure about how to find her after the chaos had quieted down. He thought he had seen the last of her. Not that she hadn’t survived, he knew that she would; he just assumed he would be dead before he saw the face that haunted his dreams ever again.
After a few minutes of wondering around the yard and getting a handle on his emotions, he returned to the back of the house where the building was and saw that Brian and George stood beside her, and Shelly walking their way from the back door of the house. They seemed to be in deep discussion, and Miles was going to just turn around and head back to the house whenever he saw Brian and Amber wave him over. George took a sip of his coffee, as did Brian, and Miles regretted leaving his coffee behind. Stale or not, it was caffeine. He hooked one thumb into his pocket, his other hand rubbing at the tension that rested in his neck. Amber darted a warm gaze over him and he refused to acknowledge it.
“What’s up? What’s the plan for today?” he asked as George took another sip of his coffee. Shelly appeared and they delved into a discussion.
“I reckon we can grab some water out of the pond back there,” Brian said motioning behind him. “Boil it and use it to clean up with. Amber here is lookin’ pretty rough, not to mention the two of you…” he snickered, pointing to George and Miles before taking a drink. Amber slapped him on his back, making him choke on his coffee.
“And then there’s you, who looks like he got ran over with a 2 ton…twice….with a trailer behind it.” She said, making Shelly giggle. George chuckled.
“Ha ha. Anyways,” Brian continued, slinging an arm over Shelly�
�s shoulders and pulling her close. “The people back at the house shouldn’t have to see us like this or else it will just worry them to death. I say we clean up, rest up, gather up and ready all of our supplies and head home tomorrow.” Home. The word sounded foreign to Miles, considering he hadn’t had a ‘home’ in a very long time. “That leads us to our next matter of business…” he said pointedly to George and Miles. Miles’s eyes widened. “Do you want to come with us, or not?”
George appeared calm and spoke up immediately. “If it’s ok, I would like to join you.” He said plainly, glancing from Brian to Amber. Miles narrowed his eyes at the man before running his hands through his hair.
“I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t think it was ok.” Brian smiled at the man. Miles watched as Amber smiled at George, and then turned her gaze to him. Her gaze was penetrating, pleading and it pierced through him down to his very core. Every weight suddenly lifted off of his chest and he realized he never had a choice in the matter.
“I’ll do whatever you need me to do.” He answered without thinking, his stare still locked on Amber’s, the intensity with which he said it making her blush. She quickly looked away, patting George on the shoulder before passing by Brian and grabbing Shelly. He quickly turned to Brian, feigning nonchalance. “Just tell me what it is.” Brian laughed and set his mug down.
“In that case, we need to go ahead and get water going to we can clean up and get ourselves doctored before we lose light.” He said and all three men began gathering containers of any kind to carry the water in.
Chapter Seven
Amber stood next to the little pond, an empty plastic bucket at her feet. She had intended on getting water to wash what she could of the blood from her hair but instead she stood, lost in thought as she stared at the water. She inhaled deeply against the emotions that were nagging at her. Regina’s screams still echoed in her ears, along with the many other screams and pleas from others that she and Brian had eventually had to take out of their misery. It was never fair, but they had done what they had to do and offered those that they could a quick end to their suffering. So why couldn’t she let Regina’s death ease from her mind? Granted it was still soon after the incident, almost two days she realized, but it was still difficult to come to terms with. She glanced at her hands and saw that they shook with the metaphorical weight on her shoulders and slowly clenched them at her sides, lowering herself on her haunches and lowering her head. It was because she ran. She ran and left them there, left George and Regina. It wasn’t as if Amber offered her another way out…no, instead Regina was torn apart and brutalized to death while she ran, leaving George to listen to his wife die horribly.