by W. A. R.
“Has Kyle said anything to you recently?” Nana asked her softly. Cassie shrugged, hoping to avoid the discussion as much as possible. Kyle had indeed talked with her; he discussed everything with her. She didn’t lie, and wouldn’t; she had to find a better way of stepping around the truth.
“Are you meaning the reason for his actions today?” Cassie asked, turning from her grandmother and finding the can opener and two cans of beans.
“Well,…yes.” Nana replied thoughtfully, “And the last few days. He just seems as if something is bothering him more than usual.”
“Mom was supposed to be back today.” She said softly before realizing the words were out of her mouth. It was then she realized just how much her mother’s absence for such a long period bothered her as well. She heard her grandmother stop doing whatever it was she was doing and Cassie wanted to bite her tongue off. She felt Nana’s eyes bore into her back, begging for an answer to her unspoken question. She turned her focus to opening the cans, trying to find a way to cover her bluntness. “What I mean is, I think he just misses her is all. He’s worried about her, and Uncle Brian and Aunt Shelly.”
Nana sighed and began readying the fish once more. Whew, she thought, that was close; and then Cassie felt guilty for thinking that way. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust her grandmother, of course she did, but Nana already had so much on her mind that adding Kyle and Cassie’s worries and concerns would only hurt her, not help her, regardless of how well-meaning she was. “We all are, honey. I am sure they are just fine though.”
Cassie nodded, feeling emotion clog her throat. “Then why aren’t they back?” Uh-oh. She felt nauseous. Why was her heart in her mouth and tears in her eyes? Couldn’t she just let it go? It was only going to hurt everyone if they continued to talk about it.
“Well…” Nana responded, caught off guard by Cassie’s question. “Anything could have happened. They may have had to make a detour back.”
“Yeah.” Cassie said softly, sighing. She knew her grandmother meant well, but sometimes it was so hard to be optimistic. Finishing one can of beans, she began on the other, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. “It just feels like this time is different.” She admitted, and instantly she felt her grandmother’s reassuring hands on her shoulders comforting her.
“Oh Cassandra, you beautiful intuitive soul…” Nana began and Cassie stopped moving… “Sometimes you act so much like your mother, I just want to shake some sense into you.” At this, Cassie giggled. Nana smiled and rested her cheek on Cassie’s back, and Cassie instantly felt comforted. “When your mom was your age, she was just as sweet, intuitive, and honest as you are; not to mention hard-headed. You come by it naturally.”
Nana chuckled and smoothed her hand down Cassie’s arm. Cassie had stopped moving by then and placed a hand on her grandmother’s. She smiled. “Mom wasn’t that bad.”
Nana let go of Cassie and laughed, moving back to the fish. “Oh, honey, yes she was. She was a lot like you. She never met a stranger, and was a friend to everyone, even ones that were questionable.”
Cassie turned to her and stepped besides her, pouring the beans in a pot that sat on the counter. Cassie looked at her grandmother, a mischievous gleam in her eye. “Like who?”
“Oh,” her grandmother waved a dismissive hand, “There were many. You know how teenagers are. There were girls that were just hateful, boys too…although…” she trailed off, and Cassie latched on like a leech. It was like a drug, hearing stories of her mother when she wasn’t there. It brought Cassie a sense of comfort, and she knew she would have a story to tell Kyle when they went to bed, and that made it all better.
“Although…? You can’t just leave me hanging like that!” Cassie exclaimed, a sparkle in her eye. Nana looked off thoughtfully.
“There was one boy that stood out.” She began, turning back to the fish and taking mercy on Cassie’s curiosity. “He was mean to her. He tripped her, pushed her, and called her names…for years. I think she was in the third grade maybe? I’m not sure. I do remember teachers telling me every year about these incidences, but whenever I would ask Amber about them, she would always say that he was her friend. I tried to do something about it, but she never would let me.” She placed two pieces of fish in a cake pan and began working on two more. “It hurt her more that I threatened to get him in trouble than anything he ever did to her.”
Cassie had stopped stirring the beans and looked at her grandmother in confusion. “Well? What happened?” she prodded, and her grandmother smiled at Cassie’s insistence. This was unusual. Discussions of their mother as a girl were uncommon, much less in the same sentence as a boy. Their mother had never dated as far back as Cassie could remember and so the story that was tumbling from her grandmother’s mouth had her sitting on the edge of her seat, anxious to hear more.
“Well,” she began once again, her tone of voice wistful, “Over the years, it kept on, and she kept telling me that he wasn’t a bully, he wasn’t bad. She said he was good and that one day, I would see. I didn’t believe her until one day when she was your age, maybe a little younger. Some older classmate had touched her inappropriately and the bully, the mean kid, just went ballistic on the guy. Needless to say I was shocked.”
Cassie stood there dumbfounded. Her mother was that instinctual? No wonder she could never get away with anything. “What happened to the kid?” she asked. Nana looked over at her and grinned.
“Well, I believe he was expelled and that was the last time she saw him.” Nana said brusquely , and noting the disappointment etched into Cassie’s features, she offered an apologetic grin. “Not every story has a happy ending.”
Cassie lifted her chin in defiance and took the pot of beans to the fire. “I would have to disagree, Nana…I bet that boy grew into a wonderful, important man before everything happened.”
Nanna gaped at her. “You call that a happy ending?”
Cassie turned and grinned at her, grabbing her spoon from the counter. “Sure.” Nana brought the pan of fish to set next to the fire, waiting to be cooked. She studied the light in her grandmother’s eyes and grinned. “And there is more that you aren’t telling me.”
“Excuse me?” Nana questioned, awaiting her answer, admiring her granddaughter for being her own person, yet so much like the girl’s mother. Cassie tossed her a side glance and smile.
“I can see it written all over your face.” Cassie admonished and Nana had the good grace to blush. Cassie grinned triumphantly. Finally her grandmother turned to her.
“Fine.” She stated and Cassie nearly jumped from her seat with joy. Nana glanced at the door before turning back to Cassie. “There is a lot you won’t understand…at least not yet…but he did turn out to be a good person…a great one, in fact.” She paused, studying her granddaughter before continuing. “Understand that some things you should ask your mother about; it is a touchy subject for her.”
Cassie furrowed her eyebrows curiously at her grandmother. “Why?”
“Well,” her grandmother sighed, “The young man made a big impact on her life, I believe. I don’t know the details, and I suppose I never will, but I do know that he had done two things that stood out above all else. One was that he helped bring your Uncle Brian home one night and talked to her…” Nana paused briefly, glancing to the side in thought. “She was going through such a hard time then and needed a friend. He just happened to be there.” Another sigh before she quickly turned and aimed for the kitchen. Cassie followed behind her anxiously.
“And the other thing?” Cassie prodded, refusing to dwell on one detail. Her grandmother glanced at her over her shoulder sadly before speaking.
“He saved her life at Jenson’s. If it wasn’t for that young man, your mother…my daughter…would not be here. So you see, your mother was right all along.” She said sadly, and though her words were tainted with harsh memories, Cassie couldn’t help but grin at her grandmother.
“Well then, I can’t complain about my
…’intuitiveness’.” Cassie teased her grandmother, receiving a swat with a dish towel before both women began giggling at their own antics.
The mood dropped whenever Papa and Kyle came into the house carrying wood, closing the door behind them. Nana and Cassie stood, eyeing the pair speculatively. Cassie didn’t like the feeling that washed over her at the look on Kyle’s pale, worried face. Kyle didn’t even bother to look at her; instead, he climbed the stairs and disappeared into their bedroom. Nana turned to Papa after watching Kyle go. She didn’t even have to ask.
“There were shots fired clear across town. Four shots, that’s it.” Papa explained, shrugging out of his jacket and hanging it up on the back of a chair. Nana shook her head. Cassie felt as if someone had stabbed her in the center of her chest with a long serrated blade. It hurt, the thoughts that swarmed her mind in response to Papa’s words.
“You don’t think…” Nana began, but Papa cut her off.
“I don’t know.” He began, rubbing a hand across his face. “I just don’t know.” Cassie sighed, all good humor gone, and stood, beginning towards the stairs. She needed to comfort her little brother. She was his sister and she had to be there for him, especially if she was the only left that was able to be that comfort for him. Tear pricked the backs of her eyes like tiny needles at the thought.
“I’ll go check on Kyle.” She told them, already feeling the tears rolling down her face, and she hoped that neither Nana nor Papa noticed.
Chapter Nine
Amber walked into the living room, pulling her hair into a French braid. She spied Shelly on the couch, gathering her weapons and tools and her heart warmed at the sight of her friend. Amber smiled at her, finishing her hair and running her hands over her damp clothes. Shelly was like a sister to her and they had grown close over the two years that she and Brian had been together, and even more so since the outbreak. Shelly had no family; she had no brothers or sisters, her dad having died years ago and her mom estranged, she had no one except for her grandmother, really…then it hit Amber belatedly and she felt like an ass for not asking. Her heart twisted yet again for the millionth time that day at her own thoughts. She would be grateful when they reached home; maybe then she wouldn’t be an emotional wreck. Reaching for her gun that had been retrieved from her car earlier that morning, and her knife and tools, she studied Shelly, who seemed immersed in the task at hand.
“Where are the guys?” Amber asked curiously, glancing around the room. She couldn’t say she wasn’t grateful for the moment of peace from Miles’s probing stare and Brian’s curious glances…even George’s nonchalant face. That bothered her immensely…his suppression of his grief. “It’s late. Really late.” She noted the obvious, and Shelly gave her a knowing look from under her long eyelashes. So, obviously she had noticed the tension between Amber and the two men. True, she had basically been avoiding them all, coming to terms with the pain on her own. She would get over it, she simply needed time. Amber ignored her look, unsure of what it meant, and set her gun on the coffee table, beginning to fix the thigh holster for her knife. It wasn’t that she was unsure of what it meant exactly, but more so of the fact that her own thoughts and emotions confused her, she didn’t have a chance of figuring out everyone else’s.
“They are doing a perimeter check considering the amount of activity that went on today.” Shelly smiled, placing a long bladed knife in a belt loop holster that she had found in one of the bedrooms and Amber chuckled. Shelly had come a long way since the outbreak. She had become stronger, more resilient and harder to break…but Amber knew that that by no means meant she didn’t have a breaking point. Everyone had a breaking point. And even so, becoming harder, almost emotionless…it was nothing to be proud of.
“So,” Amber began, standing, as Shelly did the same, placing her gun in the waistband of her jeans. Shelly eyed her, waiting for her to continue. She knew what Amber was going to ask and it made her uneasy. “How are you?” Amber watched as Shelly’s emotions flashed through her eyes; confusion, understanding, sadness, and finally the look in her eyes hardened.
“I’m fine.” She said softly, turning her attention back to the second knife in her hand. “It was hard, but not cripplingly so.” She admitted to Amber, and Amber felt relieved and saddened at the same time. It hurt her more than she was willing to admit, at least while they were in an unusual place. “You should be proud of how Brian handled everything while we were in Takilma.” At this she grinned widely, obviously proud of him herself. She wanted to change the subject and Amber was more than willing to comply. Shelly would talk whenever she was ready. Amber returned the smile.
“Girl, I am always proud of the both of you.” She said honestly, and she noted how Shelly glanced away, her eyes alight with pride and acceptance. “You two are like the epitome of love and understanding.” Things were quiet for a moment as Amber opened the chamber of her gun, checking the bullets. Amber forced everything from her mind, her focus on Shelly and her heartache.
Shelly shifted on her feet. “It hurt a lot.” She admitted and Amber hesitated only a moment, not wanting their discussion to become too intense. She sighed.
“Honey, I’m sorry. I know it isn’t easy, what you had to do.” Shelly looked at her sadly, tears stinging the back of her eyes. Amber swallowed back her instinct to reached forward and embrace her and continued gently, “If you would like, we can escape for a bit when we get home and talk about it.” She offered a small smile, knowing Shelly would let it go later, when things weren’t so chaotic; when they were back home and Amber would be there for her, to help her ease that burden from her shoulders. She nodded in response to Amber’s statement and cleared her throat.
“I think I need that.” she told Amber and Amber chuckled lightly.
“It’s a deal then.” She assured her friend. “You know I love you and Brian. Whatever you need.” Amber promised softly, clicking the chamber of her gun back in place. She was trying desperately to be not so committal, to appear nonchalant about the entire conversation, but it was increasingly difficult.
Shelly chuckled lightly. “You know, last night when you showed up, it took all we had not to bulldoze you in hugs and kisses; Brian especially. A small part of me knew you were alright, but Brian…he really lost it.” Amber appreciated her words, and their gestures.
Amber laughed at her words. “You guys are awesome, even during the apocalypse.”
Shelly grinned at Amber, pulling her hair into a ponytail. Oh no, Amber thought. Shelly had something on her mind. “So, changing the subject…how crazy is it that the only two people we run into in months are people that we know?” Shelly asked, and Amber shrugged. The thought had struck her before, but she kept brushing it aside for some reason. She didn’t want to dwell on it. Sure, George was a reasonable possibility considering they had lived in the same town, were friends, etc…but Miles was a different story; his presence was a disturbing understatement of a coincidence. And then there was the fact that they had come across three people, not two. Amber groaned inwardly. She knew that Regina’s death was nothing she could have prevented without risking her own life but George’s torment tormented her.
“It is pretty wild. I mean, after all we have been through, and everything we have had to do…” she hesitated, taking a shuddering breath before continuing, “maybe,…maybe we are just catching a break.” She hoped that Shelly would accept that as an answer and not pursue a discussion in which Amber revealed her thoughts and emotions on the subject.
Shelly nodded in agreement. They lived in the south, and the south had not been full of pansies, that was for sure. Most of the south consisted of rednecks with guns, prepared to fight for anything. That being thought, Amber realized that there had to be more people out there and a shiver ran up her spine at the possible types of people that could have survived such hell. “You do realize that at some point you will have to explain to me in better detail how you know Miles and everything that happened with George. You didn’t tell
the whole story did you?” Shelly inquired, and Amber looked up at her friend sadly. Shelly had known Amber was harboring some feelings about that incident; she even knew she didn’t want to talk about it, but that didn’t stop her friend from attempting to get her to talk about it.
“I did, I just feel so…guilty. Shelly, I ran. I ran and left him there to die.” Amber admitted, feeling guilt shame her once again. “I left him to live at the expense of his wife’s dying screams.” She sighed and squeezed her eyes shut tightly. Why did the world have to end? She refused to discuss Miles. Her hurt and anger was still fresh and she wished she could just shove it away but she couldn’t. She resented him and he knew it. So why did their fallout pain her so much? She turned her eyes from Shelly in remorse. He had said she was selfish and bitter. She had told him he was her hero. What kind of shit was that? She had let her emotions get the best of her and she had admitted that he was her salvation. She should have run far away from him when she realized who he was and none of that would have happened.
Shelly walked to the kitchen counter and grabbed one of the half-finished bottles of water. “He told you to run. If you wouldn’t have, both of you would have died. Look at it for the blessing that it is.” She told Amber sternly. Amber smiled, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes.
“In the world today, blessings are kind of hard to notice.” Amber replied discouragingly. This shocked Shelly and Amber winced.
“I swear, you and your brother are the two most optimistic, friendly people that I have ever met and these past two days you two have really been off of your game. You are Miss Brightside…so…brighten the hell up.” She laughed, and Amber couldn’t help but laugh along with her, feeling slightly better. Once they were home, a good discussion between friends was thoroughly needed.