by W. A. R.
“Go! Now!” she said in a loud whisper before Brian began reversing. Both trucks kept their headlights off, as they eased out of the driveway, leaving the herd of Biters chasing behind them. They drove down the road a ways until they came to Stateline Road intersection. Here, Miles stopped and flashed his lights quickly before climbing out, gun at the ready and edging up to Brian’s truck. Brian rolled down his window and leaned back against the seat, surveying everything around them.
“Where are we going?” Brian and Miles asked one another in unison. Both men sighed in response. Things were silent as they thought. They couldn’t go back towards town at night, it was too dangerous. Stateline Road was too close to what they had just endured…Brian had it.
“Follow me. There won’t be shelter, but it is open and away from these fuckers.” Brian said. Miles nodded silently before returning to his truck, shutting the door after he climbed in. Miles sat at the intersection as Brian pulled around him and turned right down Stateline road, away from town and then a quick right, passing the church and leading them away from the Biters.
About half an hour later of driving in everlasting silence, down some twisting roads, a back road, and a small trail the trucks barely fit through, they sat on the open field of a highline around the small community of Fair Crest. The trucks parked, George, Miles, and Brian climbed out of the trucks and began searching with flashlights for any signs of Biters. Once they were comfortable with their surroundings, they returned to the trucks. Miles and George opened their doors; Miles helping Amber lie the boy down in the seat before Amber took George’s proffered hand and climbed out of the truck. Zeus nestled himself at the floorboard at the boy’s feet. Brian helped Shelly out and pulled her tightly to his chest, her arms wrapping around his waist. Slowly, all five of them eased together. Amber wiped at her eyes, Miles studying her, his expression pained. He tried to touch her shoulder in assurance and she pulled away, stepping towards George. George eyed this interaction curiously as Brian and Shelly approached. Amber immediately rushed to Shelly, embracing her.
“I was so worried…” Amber cried. Shelly sniffled and hugged her tightly back feeling the band around her heart tightening in pain.
“I was too…” She replied as the men stood in silence, the weight of everything that had just occurred bearing down on them as they began to realize the intensity of it.
“Where is the boy?” Brian asked, his voice calm. George motioned towards the truck weakly.
“He is asleep in the front seat.” He told Brian as Amber and Shelly released one another and straightened their stances, their expressions slightly guarded. “We checked him out on the way here. No marks. He’s just scared to death.”
“He just heard his mom die a brutal death. Of course he’s scared.” Amber said gently before stepping forward and wrapping her arms around her brother’s neck. He returned the warm embrace, holding his sister tightly. Miles snapped to attention at her words, glowering at her, but said nothing. George sighed and shook his head at the memory.
“At least he’s alive. At least we are alive.” George muttered, catching Shelly’s anger and Amber’s disappointment. Amber released her brother and turned to him, pinning him with her stare. Her heart was heavy, and every fiber of her being hurt, aching with the loss that the small boy had to endure.
“That woman deserved better than what was given to her.” Shelly told them bitterly, her anger stemming from the night’s events and her disappointment in Brian’s actions. It upset her and she was torn between accepting that the men had been right and the loss that the boy had suffered.
“Would you rather him shoot her in the head in front of her son? Or send the kid out to Biters while he killed his mother?” Brian bit out at Shelly. She glowered at him, but knew he was right. Amber widened her eyes at her brother.
“Brian!” she admonished but he never tore his gaze from Shelly. She glanced back towards the truck, thankful that the child was asleep and unable to hear the cruel words being said. Amber shifted on her feet uneasily. She could feel Miles studying her, watching her every movement and she resisted the urge to turn to him.
“She could have stayed with us until she turned.” Shelly defended and Amber stepped forward placing a reassuring hand on her friends shoulder. “But not one of you gave her that chance.” She spat out, shrugging Amber’s hand from her. Amber glanced over at George and sighed before turning back to the scene before her.
“And do what, Shelly?” Brian countered. “What would we do when she turned while we were trying to get out of a whole fucking mass of Biters? Keep her tied up in the truck for shits and giggles until we get somewhere we can dispose of her?”
“That definitely wouldn’t be as brutal as what happened.” George said sarcastically. And Shelly shot a glare at him. Amber lifted a brow at him, curious as to why he was getting involved in the couple’s heated debate. Then again, what had just happened affected them all, and Amber knew he had to have been upset about it.
“Why do you even care Shelly? She was a complete stranger.” Brian scolded her and she narrowed her eyes at him.
“Her name was Selene.” Amber spoke softly, not missing the widening of Brian’s eyes in surprise. “And the boy’s name is Elliot. He’s five.” Amber continued with the information they had gathered. Her voice remained neutral, maybe a little saddened. The anger in Shelly dissipated at Amber’s words and she sighed, turning back to the awestruck Brian.
“We actually talked to her before things got chaotic.” She said calmly, motioning to Amber and herself.
“It just wasn’t fair.” Amber said weakly, defeated. “It never is fair.” Her mind drifted yet again to the truck, where the child slept. “Poor Elliot.”
“Not fair?” Miles asked, his voice tinged with anger. Shelly stared hard at them, the remorseful feeling in her gut eating at her.
“No. It wasn’t.” Amber said softly, and everyone just stared at her. She cleared her throat, ridding herself of the emotion in it and turned to Miles curiously. “We did what we had to do, and it still wasn’t fair.” She cast her eyes away from him and glanced up at Shelly, who was once again fuming.
“You wouldn’t open your door! You didn’t give her a chance.” She spat out and Amber widened her eyes at her friend.
“That isn’t what…” Amber began but Miles interjected, his eyes wild with fresh pain and anger.
This seemed to have taken Miles aback, and he stood, staring at Shelly. “I didn’t? I wasn’t fair?” He asked her incredulously.
Shelly clenched her fists at her side. “You murdered her!” she exclaimed and before Miles could get another word in Amber stepped between the two, finally angry with her own people, not to mention herself.
“No, Shelly. We murdered her.” Amber said, each word weighted and each word cutting.
Brian stepped forward angrily, as did George. “That is enough.” George spat out.
Brian grabbed her arm. “That was too far. No one murdered her. No one put a gun to her head and pulled the trigger!”
“We didn’t have to, Brian.” Amber said softly. She pulled back from Brian, releasing his hold before crossing her arms across her chest.
Shelly stepped forward glaring at him. “Besides, that isn’t the point. The point is that she wasn’t even offered a better death. She died fighting for her son.” She turned her icy glare from Brian to Miles. “So much for it being her decision, huh?”
“Are you serious?” George exclaimed at her. He ran a hand across his face in frustration. “You are being ludicrous, Shelly.”
“George is right. You are just trying to find a reason to be mad. This is ridiculous.” Brian grumbled at her. Glancing up at the clear night sky.
Amber sighed in defeat. “Can we get past this hostility, please?” she asked desperately, catching surprised looks from everyone.
Miles took a step towards her angrily, having had enough. “Do you want to know what isn’t fair?” he asked her, inches from her f
ace. His voice was rough and thick with emotion. Shelly swallowed hard, and everyone just watched the interaction between the two. Amber took a step back, surprised by his sudden anger towards her and his advancement.
“Miles?” she asked gently, and he looked pained at every word and action she made.
“What isn’t fair is you begging me, pleading with me, and fighting with me to do what I could for them. What isn’t fair is that I gave in to your cries and risked my life saving the boy because that was all that I could do and yet it wasn’t enough; instead, you are standing here telling me I murdered that woman; that we murdered her. And the boy? The boy ran to me. He cried for me to help him, and I had no time to think, I just acted. I did what I had to do. I didn’t care about anything else but getting that boy to safety and getting him to you safely. I…” he stopped at a loss for words, tears brimming in his eyes and threatening to fall.
“I…” she began but she was uncertain at what she had said or done to upset him so. No one else spoke either, they simply watched the two before them. Amber studied him, seeing the lingering sadness in his eyes. She wanted to reach out to him, to comfort him but instead she took another step back from him. He wasn’t a bitter and hateful man…no, he was so far from it and the excruciating pain in his eyes told her that She was wrong, so very wrong. Miles stepped closer to her, his voice dropping low as he stared down at her. She visibly shook under his stare. It wasn’t cold, or angry, but…sad.
“I don’t care if anyone gives me shit about tonight. I don’t care that you say it isn’t fair, because we are alive and we are here, right now, having this stupid conversation.”
“I didn’t mean…” she began and yet again he interrupted her.
“I don’t even care that you feel like you need to take all of your pent up feelings out on me. I really don’t. But what I do care about…” he paused, his stare never wavering, “is being labeled a murderer, and most of all by you. I have now killed three people in my existence, and two of them were for you. That is what isn’t fair.” He growled before slowly stepping back. Leaving Amber standing there speechless, staring after him. George looked at him, and then at Amber, expecting Amber to protest, but she said nothing. Reluctantly, she turned from Miles and faced Brian, clearing her throat.
“So,” George said, breaking the silence, “Obviously, there is a lot of tension right now…”
“Yeah…” Brian groaned. “Let’s just all calm down for a bit and try talking later.” He suggested to them all. Amber nodded and turned, climbing into the back of Miles’s truck, arranging some of their bags so she could lie down comfortably. Miles turned and began past the trucks and away from them all. Shelly joined Amber in the back of the truck while Brian and George meandered to Brian’s truck, leaning against the bed.
Silence. In a world after the human populace becomes cannibalistic flesh eaters, it was sometimes hard to appreciate the silence when there was either too much of it, or the horrible sounds of dead beings filled it. Almost an hour of a kind, sweet silence passed with no one uttering a word. Everyone settled into their own thoughts, accepting everything that had happened and slowly coming to terms with the fact that there were going to be times similar to it. Amber wasn’t sure if she was quite prepared for that revelation, but it was one she had to consent to, nonetheless.
Amber could admit that she was finally accepting everything that had occurred over the past two days. That hour of nothing but pure silence was exactly what she needed. Part of her wanted to explore their surroundings and maybe find a place to reflect, but she couldn’t leave the boy. Unofficial as it was, she felt responsible for him. She assumed it was the mother in her that yearned to protect him, and she guessed it was that same part of her that fought for his life back at the house. She couldn’t regret it. She didn’t. Besides, she thought, she had accomplished her reflecting in the back of that truck next to Shelly while counting the stars and counting their blessings; even their luck. She sighed inwardly and closed her eyes. Her acceptance of things was similar to the tears she had shed for the events she was accepting. The tears may be gone but the evidence was still there, scarred forever in her soul. She would never forget them and she would use them to build on herself, change herself. It was what she had to do to survive, to save her own two children…and now a third child…Thanks to George and Miles…he had survived. They had all survived.
“I’m sorry about everything back there.” Shelly offered her, breaking Amber out of her trance. Amber turned to see Shelly looking at her through sorrow filled eyes. “And I am so sorry you had to witness that woman’s death.”
Amber shrugged before smiling softly at her friend. She was finally at peace again, as she had been before all of this chaos and it showed. “No, I’m sorry you had to hear it too. It was horrible, but they are all right; there was no other way around it.”
Shelly looked at her confused. “But…”
Amber cut her off gently. “It couldn’t have been avoided. I know it, you know it…it just…sucks how it all panned out. Elliot will be fine. We will be fine.” Silence reigned again for a few minutes as they both collected their thoughts. Amber released a heavy breath, watching as the stars glittered above them, offering them some sort of peace in a world of destruction. They were a constant…always there. Sometimes missing, hidden behind clouds or the sun, but they were always there. “Besides, I don’t believe I am the one you should be apologizing to.”
Shelly hesitated before speaking, and Amber knew she was gnawing on the guilt they felt for her words. “I know.” She said gently before glancing sideways at Amber, who continued to stare up at the stars. “I am so glad we are family. I love you.” Shelly told her and Amber smiled warmly at the night sky, grateful for her presence. Shelly then slowly turned to stare once more at the stars above them, watching them twinkle and glitter in the night sky.
“I love you too Shells.” Amber said gently, using her shortened name. Miles’s words came back to her, and she winced. Of course those words would come to her then; it made sense. She had been angry and avoiding everyone since she had found them again. “Do you think I have changed? That I’m selfish and heartless?” Amber asked and she could feel Shelly turn her gaze to her. Amber swallowed and feigned nonchalance.
“Of course you have changed, but you are certainly not heartless or selfish. Look at tonight…you would have given your life for that boy. Why would you think that you are?” she asked and Amber shrugged her shoulders, chewing the inside of her cheek.
“Tonight, I could have been seen as selfish. I wanted to save them and I tried everything to save them.” She hesitated for a moment before speaking again. “I often find myself asking who I am; who is this person I am becoming?” She swallowed thickly, the confession felt weird coming off of her lips. “I’m not so sure I like who that person is.”
“You should be proud of yourself.”
“How can I be proud? People have died.” She asked Shelly, watching in the moonlight as Brian slowly appeared behind Shelly. Shelly turned to see him as he leaned against the bed of the truck and looked down at her apologetically. She smiled up at him, accepting the apology without a word. Amber couldn’t help but smile. That was Brian for you. If he could avoid it, his feelings were never spoken out loud.
“Because all in all you saved my life…you tried to save Regina’s....” George told her softly from behind her. She turned to see him leaning against the opposite side of the truck, elbows resting on the side and fingers clasped together. He sighed, turning to glance at the cab of the truck where the boy slept. “And you tried to save his and his mother’s.” She expected the sting of tears from his statement, but it never came. She found harmony in this conversation; found resolution in the acceptance of the inevitable. She smiled at him.
“You are our peacekeeper. You are the needle on our moral compass.” Shelly smiled at her friend, reaching over and squeezing her hand. “We all have our part and that one is yours. Without it, we wouldn�
��t be right. So if you ever change too much, we will let you know.” Amber laughed lightly at this before Shelly released her. “We know you have had a rough time these past two or three days. It’s tough, but…”
“Things happen….you know that better than anyone.” Brian said, his eyes digging into her, sharing with her the memories of so many deaths before. “We all blame ourselves for what happened, but dwelling on it won’t change anything.” He smiled at Amber. This was her brother and her, understanding one another without words on a level that only they could. His grey eyes twinkled and she couldn’t help but smile back at him. “Besides,” he continued, grinning mischievously, “We are taking three new people home in the morning. That has to count for something.” She adored her brother. There was no other like him; always making light of the situation.
They all chuckled and Amber sighed, rubbing her hands across her face in exhaustion. “Can you imagine the looks on their faces when we show up tomorrow?”
Brian laughed easily at this, buying into Amber’s little game. “‘Well, I’ll be dipped, Bobby-Jean.’” Brian drawled, mocking their father. Amber giggled at his mockery as George looked between the two of them.
Amber turned to look at him and burst into laughter. “‘Well, look Jackson! By George, it’s George!’” Amber mocked her mother, causing Brian and Shelly to laugh harder. Shelly caught George’s wide eyed confusion.
“This is how they apologize to each other, and show their love for each other. It’s a sibling thing.” She told him between chuckles. George laughed quietly and nodded in understanding.
“Oh…” Amber groaned in exasperation as a new thought hit her. “The kids CANNOT know what happened. All they need to now are the basics.” She shuddered at the thought of having that conversation. She would become ill to get out of it rather than see the horrified looks on their faces.